Poop on the moon, and how to protect it

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59 Responses to “Poop on the moon, and how to protect it”

  1. Franziska says:

    There is also a bag of vomit, according to the list. Lovely.

  2. technogeek says:

    As soon as there was something human-made on the moon, SF writers started considering whether those locations should be protected as historical sites — bodily waste and all — so SF readers have had plenty of time to consider these issues.

    As usual, the rest of society is running about 50 years behind us.

  3. Anonymous says:

    That must have been the coldest outhouse imaginable.

  4. spocko says:

    andy Griffith got it all in 1979 Salvage 1

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078681/

    damn you greglondon !

  5. winkybb says:

    The events may have been significant. The artefacts are not. Mankind needs to learn to clean up after itself (even when taking giant leaps).

    I find the celebration-by-contamination brand of “history preservation” especially disturbing in Antarctica. There are all these busted huts that can’t or won’t be removed because of their “heritage value”. You think they are valuable? Fine. Take them and put them in a museum somewhere. Leave Antarctica as the only place left on earth where we aren’t arrogant enough to presume that our (mankind’s) exploits are the most important thing that has happened there. The most important thing about these places is actually that there have been relatively few exploits by the species of primates now hell-bent on destroying the rest of the planet.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Poop on the moon. How’d it get there?

  7. Takuan says:

    “and the bag of puke did give forth the lawyers, to stalk the Moon and plague the Children of the Second Creation”

    (from the Lunar Smutty Bible)

  8. 3.14chan says:

    People should care about more important things instead of waste time and money to protect frozen poop far away.

  9. adunn10495 says:

    This is one small step for man… Damn, what did I step in?

    To boldly go where no man has gone before (Rofl, Rofl)

    This gives new meaning to (colon)izing the moon. (LOL)

  10. Anonymous says:

    Future archeologists want that poop. And the vomit, too. It will be a primary source for figuring out how humans killed themselves off.

    Leave it the hell alone, what sort of nutcase goes around stealing historical poop and vomit anyway. Let it be.

  11. Mojave says:

    Serious question: I have always wondered what the atmosphere was like inside the LM’s. Temperature? I have had the priveledge of meeting 2 moonwalkers, but neglected to ask that question at the time.Must have been freaking cold….anyone know?

  12. Anonymous says:

    The Apollo 11 site should be preserved. To hell with the rest of the sites though.

  13. muteboy says:

    Poop contains bacteria. The Moon’s atmosphere lets through lots of cosmic rays.

    I think the next time we go there, there’ll be a welcoming committee.

  14. Anonymous says:

    why haven’t we gone back to the moon?

  15. Darren Garrison says:

    Did Armstrong ask for the moon’s permission before he pooped on it?

    http://www.examiner.com/x-12038-SF-Astrology-Examiner~y2009m6d10-Orbiter-crashing-into-the-moon

  16. mypalmike says:

    Sounds like pack-rat mentality. I bet these people have houses littered with junk from QVC.

  17. Anonymous says:

    this reminds me of the Futurama episode where Fry steps in Armstrong’s footprint – obliterating it forever.

  18. cosanostradamus says:

    .
    Glad to hear we marked our territory.

    How come this never happens in space movies? Or even in documentaries?

    ARMSTRONG:
    “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind… aak, dude I totally gotta poo! Stand by, Houston! Oh, MAN!” bounces off camera [uncut footage]

    It’s a long voyage, y’know?

    For distinguised coverage such as this, this noble blog has won a Cosie Award this month. Thanks for your hospitality, also.
    .

  19. buddy66 says:

    I, for one, welcome our new, um….

  20. sissyphus says:

    23 comments and no moon-landing doubters yet. Does this mean that most *happy mutants* truly believe in NASA?

  21. Brainspore says:

    Boy, that must be one stinky sound stage.

  22. Takuan says:

    I HIT people who call the lunar landing faked.

  23. theWalrus says:

    What they will find when they get back up to the moon is that the poop has mutated into an intelligent life form and is preparing to attack earth. The crises is averted by NASA sending the ultimate weapon against them… $19 million, Russian designed space toilets.

  24. Anonymous says:

    Sorry #6 but reality is stopping people from living out your sci-fi colonization fantasies. Of course your attitude about other forms of life is one of the reasons human life is in danger in the first place as you put it.

  25. jimh says:

    I am Ignignot and this is Err. I am Err!
    We are Mooninites from the inner core of the Moon. You said it right!
    Our race is hundreds of years beyond yours. Man, you hear what he’s sayin!?!
    Some would say that the Earth is OUR moon. We’re the Moon!
    But that would belittle the name of our Moon. Which is: “The Moon.” Point is, we’re at the center! Not you!

  26. Daemon says:

    The moon landing was faked. It was filmed in a sound stage on Mars with the help of the aliens rescued from the Roswell crash.

  27. gollux says:

    I’ll worry about it when we have an effective extra-terrestrial colonization program that includes moon habitation. Till then, it’s a non-issue.

  28. Anonymous says:

    Mojave: Usually coldish, but sometimes too hot. Generally one spins spacecraft to prevent destructive hot/cold shadow lines from forming, but you can’t spin all the time so sometimes you have to pump heat into the cold parts.

    It smelled like fireworks inside after the moonwalks.

  29. Phikus says:

    Great band name: Lunar Poop!

  30. stratojoe says:

    Bay of Tranquility?

  31. Phikus says:

    Actually, the poop did not land on the moon until MTV planted their flag there.

  32. Art says:

    (cue: banjo)

    “Neil Armstrong’s poop lies a-molderin’ on da’ Moon”

    A folksy ballad to be sung in the year 3000.

  33. Falcon_Seven says:

    If anyone was wondering, all of that stuff on the list that isn’t attached to the Descent Stage, was tossed out the door prior to ascent from the surface. Why? To make up the difference in weight for the Moon rocks that were collected. Oh, and the flag? It was blown down by the exhaust from the Ascent Stage when they took off and has probably disintegrated in the harsh Lunar environment. Not much left to preserve after only forty years.

  34. Brainspore says:

    I wonder how much it would change our self-image as a species if we discovered that life on Earth evolved from bacteria in the feces of some long-dead extraterrestrial explorer.

  35. Anonymous says:

    > I wonder how much it would change our self-image
    > as a species if we discovered that life on Earth
    > evolved from bacteria in the feces of some
    > long-dead extraterrestrial explorer.

    We think you don’t look much like us.

    Signed,

    The Ancient Arcturian Bacterians From Outer Space

  36. Anonymous says:

    It’s a shame, really, but I think Neil’s footprint was erased by the blast from the ascent engine. It generated exhaust with enough force to blow the flag over, and so the footprint may well be history. We won’t know for sure until we return to Tranquility Base and look. And put the flag back up.

  37. Anonymous says:

    > Did they retrieve the golf ball, or no?

    No — it was lost in a sand trap.

  38. teufelsdroch says:

    wow, #1 ftw he totally beat me to it.

    At least it wasn’t by more than 6 months.

  39. Takuan says:

    Ingredients

    * 4 eggs, hardboiled, finely chopped and mashed
    * 4 tablespoons mayonnaise
    * salt, to taste
    * fresh ground black pepper, to taste
    * 2 cups baby mustard cress or garden cress
    * 16 slices firm white bread or firm whole wheat bread, thin slices, crusts removed

    Directions

    1.
    1
    Mix the finely chopped and mashed eggs and mayonnaise together and season to taste.
    2.
    2
    Spread half of the slices of bread with the egg mixture, sprinkle some mustard and cress on top of each one, reserving some for garnishing, place the remaining slices of bread on top, and cut each sandwich into 4 triangles.
    3.
    3
    To serve: Arrange the sandwiches on a platter, garnish with the remaining mustard and cressand and serve with Cucumber Sandwiches.

  40. Toby says:

    I don’t believe said poop could literally be “moldering on the moon.” The temperature is rather hostile at 107C, to say nothing of the lack of atmosphere to protect it from radiation, so most life (molds included) would find it a very difficult place to live for 30 years, I’d imagine.

  41. TotalForge says:

    Even if the first footprint was obliterated by the ascent stage, there are many footprints on the sites, and they deserve to stay for billions of years – just because they can, among many other reasons.

    Since someone is bound to try this eventually, I offer this No-Prize Challenge: Design a robot that can explore historic lunar sites without disturbing those irreplaceable footprints in the fine dust. Would it spider along on ultrafine carbon nanotube legs, leaving invisible holes behind, and scan for footprints, carefully avoiding them?

    Would it be a 1/6 Earth size space elevator, that could lower cameras to within a few feet of the surface, without touching? I pray it won’t have a silver claw and a coin slot.

  42. robulus says:

    Shouldn’t that be Xtreme heritage conservationists?

    You gotta be down wit’ it to roll with that crew.

  43. Drhaggis says:

    Basic tools, shoes, feces and gold ornaments: The prime archaeological finds of any human civilization.

    Based on personal experience, I would think it would be all ballpoint pens, left-hand gloves and sunglasses.

  44. Falcon_Seven says:

    Armstrong’s first footprint was made at the bottom of the descent ladder and was probably obliterated when Aldrin descended to the surface. The other footprints -at all the Apollo sites- are subject to erosion from ‘electrostatic levitation‘ which would destroy them after a certain period of time. It is hypothesized, because of reduced signal returns from measurements made with the laser retro-reflectors left on the surface, that the abrasive qualities of the Lunar regolith may, over time, erase even the plaque on the Apollo 11 descent stage.

    Short of photographs taken by the Astronauts themselves -and the equipment that remains on the Lunar surface- there may never be ‘preservable site’ of any of the Apollo landings that indicates that humans had ever been there.

  45. JJR1971 says:

    Did they retrieve the golf ball, or no?

  46. Brainspore says:

    Forget the poop, if I ever get up there I’m gonna take the damn CAR.

  47. SomeGuy says:

    Interesting snip from the complete list:
    ….
    33. Defecation Collection Device (4)
    34. Girls (2)
    35. Cup (1)
    36. Overshoes, Lunar (2)
    ….

  48. Marja says:

    #24,

    Presumably, the footprint had been restored by the Historical Sticklers’ Society, after it was destroyed by the ascent from the surface. Of course, knowledge of the original site and manner of the landing had been lost after that.

    I can’t get that annoying song of out my head:

    “We’re whalers on the moon…”

  49. angusm says:

    That’s a small poop for a man, but … oh, never mind.

  50. Kickstart says:

    I hate this. The same fringe opinions are likely to prevent us from colonizing other moons or planets for fear of killing alien bacteria or infecting pristine places with our own.

    Well, screw that. I’m not willing to risk the demise of all humanity for some life form that’s barely clinging on anyway.

  51. gabrielm says:

    “Over 600 million people watched the moon landing. The site belongs to the world.”

    The act of watching something on TV makes it yours?

    Personally, I’m all for adopting a “finders/keepers” policy when it comes to the poop. If the mummified deification really is considered valuable, then maybe it will be a catalyst for the next space race.

  52. Takuan says:

    and after man destroys the Earth, new life will stir in the poop microbes and the Moon will become the cradle of the next creation.

  53. Xopher says:

    Oh, fer…

    Time for a meteor strike.

  54. HellBake says:

    I have met Buzz Aldrin and found him to be extremely competitive, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were 5 or 6 un-manifested fecal collection devices that could be attributed to him…

  55. stupidjerk says:

    If anyone ever gets up there (come on, the moon?!) I would take some of that goddamn cheese.

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