Wicked Klingon-style blades for kids' furniture and toys

Artist Shi Jinsong's 2006 show, "Ne Zha - A Child's Boutique," featured Klingon Death Metal bladed baby toys and furniture that would fit in just great in any kids' bedroom:

As described by Shi Jinsong, Ne Zha is "a supernatural youthful hero who always recovers and refuses to grow up. He has three heads, nine eyes and eight arms, with blue clouds coming from his mouth, flamed wheels under his feet, and all kinds of powerful weapons in his hands. He needs only to shout for clouds to turn into rain. He cuts his own flesh and commits suicide to save his father, fights the dragon king, and overturns the universe."
In the two years that have elapsed since the baby boutique offered a walker, cradle, pacifiers etc. suitable for the new-born infant, Ne Zha has grown up and the articles now available are appropriate for the young, all-powerful mini-warrior - a suit of armor, rocking horse, etc. In addition there is a naked effigy of the eight-armed youthful hero.

Shi Jinsong (Thanks, Will Flameboy!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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David Shawn

I have read it somewhere that he has three heads, nine eyes and eight arms, with blue clouds coming from his mouth, flamed wheels under his feet, and all kinds of powerful weapons in his hands. He needs only to shout for clouds to turn into rain. He cuts his own flesh and commits suicide to save his father, fights the dragon king, and overturns the universe.
David From Causes Of Divorce Blog.
Brainspore

No steel-wool blanket?
Anonymous

And the design wins the following awards:
1. Worst Idea ever.
2. Most Dangerous crib for a baby.
3. Most Childish Parent ever…
oaklandmax

I want a smaller version of this to use as a gravy boat! Drunk dinner guests beware!
Anonymous

This is the worst. I cannot imagine a worse idea. Nothing is worse than this. Nothing.
NotACat

You just know there’s some geek somewhere shouting “must have!!11″ in faux-Klingon.
Anonymous

Looks nice, but somehow I don’t think I’m going to hang blades over my son’s crib.
Keppoch

Forget the kids. *I* would be too clumsy around furniture like this!
Xopher

I suppose if the kid had Wolverine-like regenerative powers, this would be OK. Not otherwise.
Robert

The “Secret Book of Cool Weapons” is pretty interesting, but not so much for the pointy Motorola and Mercedes logos.
PaulR

But, but, but, it’ll scratch the varnish on the floor!
Dewi Morgan

Very cool. I’m also wondering what a baby would be like, brought up in such an environment. I suspect he’d learn quickly that sharp things bad, and would be comparatively safe around them.

I’ll leave it to crazier people than I to actually *run* this experiment, though.
Anonymous

I can’t see letting any of my monsters^H^H^H^H^H I mean kids around that type of stuff, they would kill each other.

It does look good though.
JJR1971

Hey, look everybody! Dethklok lead singer Nathan Explosion’s baby crib! How cool is that….
laderoda

You mean this ISN’T the sort of furniture you’re supposed to use for your children? Huh.

Oops…gotta run. My son’s playing with that Bowie knife of his again. It was cute when he was 2, but now that he’s 3….
Takuan

for Necromonger larvae.