Stoned wallabies make crop circles

BBC News had me with the headline on this one. Apparently, Tasmanian wallabies are getting high in fields of poppy grown for medicinal purposes.

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," (Tasmania attorney general) Lara Giddings told the hearing (on poppy crop security).

"Then they crash," she added. "We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

"Stoned wallabies make crop circles"

David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.

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TheHikingStick

Okay, I’ll cut them a break and allow for the stoned wallabies. The question that remains is this: what other stoned creatures are going out and making the more complex crop circles–the ones with complex geometric patterns like concentric circles and parallel lines. Golden retrievers, anyone?
thequickbrownfox

Wallabies do not “hop around”.

They are very heavy quadruped critters with short legs and they make a fearsome stomping noise as they roam around.

As for being stoners, well that’s their own business.

Stop hating on the marsupials, already.
thequickbrownfox

Wait a minute, I was thinking “wombats” there.

Stoned I am myself at the moment.
Brainspore

@ TheQuickBrownFox:

Yeah, I was about to correct you there. I spent about a year down under and I saw many a hopping wallaby. They’re basically rabbit-sized kangaroos.
thequickbrownfox

Off topic, but Michael Jackson reported to be dead.

On the radio now.
godzero

Adam, the Australian Rugby team is the Wallabies. Rugby players and fans take special pride in their drinking prowess and may well take offence if it was suggested they were sober.
SednaBoo

Pictures?
outwestau

It should also be Tasmanian, not Tasmian….
Anonymous

Well, blaming the crop circles on the wallabies is slanderous to these little animals. The news media never talk about the good accomplishments of these critters in the outback; like building roads and landing strips for their little friends to fly in from Tasmania. No, so they get a little high from the power flower, and now authorities want lay blame on them for crop circles. The media needs to do their homework; it takes a minimum of 150 wallabies in a coordinated marching line to generate a single circle with a 160 foot radius. These wallabies were stoned so forget about coordination. Haven’t they ever tried to get 150 wallabies to line up at one time when they’re sober? Try it when they’re bombed out of their minds.

Bye-the-way, they call this drunken state a “wallabender”.
yri

Headlines like this make me happy. :-)
Adam Stanhope

Can anyone make sense of the user comments that appear after the article itself on the BBC page?

It seems as if “Wallaby” is also some sort of slang ethnic slur. Example:

I have seen a stoned wallaby but I don’t know about them making crop circles. The one I saw was slurring his words and asking me for a dollar as he was trying to get the boat to see his brother in New Zealand – he looked in no mood to be formulating a series of complex agricultural design patterns. I could be wrong – they might have masterminded the twin tower attacks, who really knows?
Anyone?
tashikitten

@YRI – I am right there with you.
CrossbowMarty

Kangaroos (bigger cousins of wallabies) are quite partial to pot.

My father-in-law worked as a forest ranger and would often locate illegal plantations in the bush when he saw roos acting werid, jumping into fences, trees etc. Apparently they quite like the taste.

And why not? You never saw a violent wasted kangaroo now did you?
Ian70

Well duh. :)
Blaven

Best headline ever!
Anonymous

Everyone is posting pictures of wallabies.
Helpful for the few who have never seen one, but the unique news is the crop circles – where are the pictures of these?
mdh

As opposed to most crop circles, made by stoned wannabe’s
chris

comments on the bbc site are priceless
jawsy

For some reason I’m really craving Dunkaroos now..
wizardofplum

Ozzies are known as Wallabys or Kangas.New Zealand
lads as Kiwis,Brits are Limeys or Pommies in Oz.No
slurs.It is entirely appropriate that the wallabys
seem to be sloshed,because that condition is the
norm in the land that begat Fosters–now that IS a slur and the troof!
Marcel

Yeah, yeah, make fun of it why don’t you.

Let’s see who’s laughing once the humongous Wallaby mothership lands.
JoshuaTerrell

I see no problem here.
Adam Stanhope

Thank you, Wizard.
Wingo

‘Stoned Wallabies Make Crop Circles’ is going to be the name of my next band.
simonbarsinister

Pommies = P.O.M.E. = Prisoner of Mother England

And I suppose gay New Zealanders would be ‘Kiwi Fruits’?
Clumpy

So naturally I first read “Wallbabies,” assumed it was some sort of regional slang and made no sense out of the headline for a good ten seconds.
Anonymous

Poppies are excellent medicine. Bypass big pharma and self medicate!