Comments on: Terrific review of the execrable Transformers movie http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html Brain candy for Happy Mutants Sat, 25 May 2013 15:45:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Hanglyman http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528408 Hanglyman Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528408 If anyone goes to see a movie they know was directed by Michael Bay, they really deserve what they get at this point. Still, he's not as bad as Uwe Boll, whose abysmal movies get written off his taxes if they don't make a profit, and whose idea of responding to criticism is to beat up his critics in a boxing match (unless they might actually have an advantage over him). If anyone goes to see a movie they know was directed by Michael Bay, they really deserve what they get at this point. Still, he’s not as bad as Uwe Boll, whose abysmal movies get written off his taxes if they don’t make a profit, and whose idea of responding to criticism is to beat up his critics in a boxing match (unless they might actually have an advantage over him).

]]> By: Darren Garrison http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527898 Darren Garrison Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527898 The best review I've seen is spread across multiple segments in this thread on rottentomatoes: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=685674 Wherein is coined the fitting term "niggabots" The best review I’ve seen is spread across multiple segments in this thread on rottentomatoes:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=685674

Wherein is coined the fitting term “niggabots”

]]> By: Francesco Fondi http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527907 Francesco Fondi Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527907 TRANSFORMERS 2 is "robo porno": you don't watch porno for the story... TRANSFORMERS 2 is “robo porno”: you don’t watch porno for the story…

]]> By: Halloween Jack http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527913 Halloween Jack Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527913 "...like little Irish setters." I've said some pretty critical things about Charlie Jane Anders' posts on io9 in the past. I take it all back. “…like little Irish setters.”

I’ve said some pretty critical things about Charlie Jane Anders’ posts on io9 in the past. I take it all back.

]]> By: Kieran O'Neill http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528435 Kieran O'Neill Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528435 I take it the film is as much of a propaganda exercise for the U.S. armed forces as the first? I take it the film is as much of a propaganda exercise for the U.S. armed forces as the first?

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528436 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528436 The first thing I thought when I read the movie title was <i>Transformers: Rolling On The Floor.</i> The first thing I thought when I read the movie title was Transformers: Rolling On The Floor.

]]> By: Kieran O'Neill http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528440 Kieran O'Neill Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528440 Oh, and best movie review evar. If the film is even half as crazed as Anders' writing, I think I'll have to watch it just for the experience. At the lowest cost possible, of course. Oh, and best movie review evar.

If the film is even half as crazed as Anders’ writing, I think I’ll have to watch it just for the experience.

At the lowest cost possible, of course.

]]> By: nosehat http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527964 nosehat Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527964 If Michael Bay were to direct <a href="http://www.cracked.com/blog/storyboards-from-michael-bays-the-great-gatsby/">The Great Gatsby</a>. If Michael Bay were to direct The Great Gatsby.

]]> By: anansi133 http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527970 anansi133 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527970 This is perfect: I now know to watch T:ROFL after I finish all five Cremaster films. This is perfect: I now know to watch T:ROFL after I finish all five Cremaster films.

]]> By: alphagirl http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527979 alphagirl Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527979 I still like the review Joel posted by Choire Sicha just a smidge better. http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/flicked-off-transformers2-the-revenge-of-megan-foxs-rack I still like the review Joel posted by Choire Sicha just a smidge better.

http://www.theawl.com/2009/06/flicked-off-transformers2-the-revenge-of-megan-foxs-rack

]]> By: hokano http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527992 hokano Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527992 In fact, I believe it was the examination of the Michael Bay oeuvre that required the invention of the word 'craptacular'. In fact, I believe it was the examination of the Michael Bay oeuvre that required the invention of the word ‘craptacular’.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528003 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528003 I actually said the same thing about Speed Racer ... except I wasn't joking. I actually said the same thing about Speed Racer … except I wasn’t joking.

]]> By: hokano http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528004 hokano Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528004 <blockquote>TRANSFORMERS 2 is "robo porno": you don't watch porno for the story...</blockquote> But 2.5 hours? You may be right, but in that case the movie might have been better if it had the same duration as the average '3.mpg'.

TRANSFORMERS 2 is “robo porno”: you don’t watch porno for the story…

But 2.5 hours? You may be right, but in that case the movie might have been better if it had the same duration as the average ’3.mpg’.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-533913 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-533913 Yeah...I don't think you should all be rubbishing Michael Bay so much, personally I havent seen ROTF but I actually really enjoyed the first Transformers movie. Yes it was an assult on the senses, but so is a rollercoaster, or a flight in a Pitt Special, strangely so is the Transformers cartoon, ironic that the movie should follow suit. Don't think so much and enjoy the ride. Drew. Yeah…I don’t think you should all be rubbishing Michael Bay so much, personally I havent seen ROTF but I actually really enjoyed the first Transformers movie. Yes it was an assult on the senses, but so is a rollercoaster, or a flight in a Pitt Special, strangely so is the Transformers cartoon, ironic that the movie should follow suit.
Don’t think so much and enjoy the ride.

Drew.

]]> By: hokano http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527774 hokano Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527774 The Onion keeps us abreast of what we can expect next: <a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/news/michael_bay_signs_50m_deal_to_fuck">Michael Bay Signs $50M Deal To Fuck Up 'ThunderCats'</a> The Onion keeps us abreast of what we can expect next:
Michael Bay Signs $50M Deal To Fuck Up ‘ThunderCats’

]]> By: Brainspore http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527783 Brainspore Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527783 I actually think "an assault on the senses" is a pretty good description of Michael Bay's work. If only I could collect damages... I actually think “an assault on the senses” is a pretty good description of Michael Bay’s work. If only I could collect damages…

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527786 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527786 Michael Bay's work is essentially a syncopated assemblage of over-saturated mechaical carnage. These are such weird movies, I cannot even begin to imagine what their appeal is. I see enough chaos at work, on my way to work and on the television, why do I need more? The movies are a literal vision of what the aggressively hollow hollywood machine looks like. His Pearl Harbor was retchingly awful. I actually think his movies are much worse than your average, straight-up bad movie. When you think about it there's is something vaguely offensive about what he does, but not in direct Natural Born Killers sort of way. Anders gets it right. I'd actually read a few favorable reviews that seem to praise this movie-http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20286964,00.html. And yet he doesn't seem like a very bad guy, kinda humble, he even went to Wesleyan! Michael Bay’s work is essentially a syncopated assemblage of over-saturated mechaical carnage. These are such weird movies, I cannot even begin to imagine what their appeal is. I see enough chaos at work, on my way to work and on the television, why do I need more? The movies are a literal vision of what the aggressively hollow hollywood machine looks like. His Pearl Harbor was retchingly awful. I actually think his movies are much worse than your average, straight-up bad movie. When you think about it there’s is something vaguely offensive about what he does, but not in direct Natural Born Killers sort of way. Anders gets it right. I’d actually read a few favorable reviews that seem to praise this movie-http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20286964,00.html.
And yet he doesn’t seem like a very bad guy, kinda humble, he even went to Wesleyan!

]]> By: orangebag http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528043 orangebag Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528043 michael bay throws cgi explosions on the screen with little artistry. That reviewer throws allegedly impressive vocabulary and references at his keyboard with little wit and no artistry. As self indulgent as the film he was mocking. Or perhaps that was the point. If so, he should remember that merely being meta doesn't mean you are funny anymore. 4 out of 10 michael bay throws cgi explosions on the screen with little artistry.
That reviewer throws allegedly impressive vocabulary and references at his keyboard with little wit and no artistry.
As self indulgent as the film he was mocking.

Or perhaps that was the point. If so, he should remember that merely being meta doesn’t mean you are funny anymore.

4 out of 10

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528307 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528307 Transformers are a ripoff of Go-bots, so I hate them. Poor little Go-bots. Transformers are a ripoff of Go-bots, so I hate them. Poor little Go-bots.

]]> By: Uniquack http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528059 Uniquack Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528059 In the last few days, I've noticed a slew of critics feasting on the ripe flesh of ROTF to write great reviews. Here's another one from Seattle: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/dear-nerds-i-have-some-questions/Content?oid=1740991 In the last few days, I’ve noticed a slew of critics feasting on the ripe flesh of ROTF to write great reviews. Here’s another one from Seattle: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/dear-nerds-i-have-some-questions/Content?oid=1740991

]]> By: acb http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527807 acb Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527807 Was the original Transformers cartoon as steeped in red-state Republican/Southern "warrior" values as the films, or did Michael Bay bring those to the table? Was the original Transformers cartoon as steeped in red-state Republican/Southern “warrior” values as the films, or did Michael Bay bring those to the table?

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528067 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528067 Reads like Harry Knowles. Preferred the reviews by Roger Ebert and Manohla Dargis in NYT. Reads like Harry Knowles. Preferred the reviews by Roger Ebert and Manohla Dargis in NYT.

]]> By: Crawford Tillinghast http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528323 Crawford Tillinghast Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528323 My sight-unseen capsule review of this is the same as for the last one: Transformers? FUCK that shit! SURVIVAL... RESEARCH... LABS!!!!!!!!!! My sight-unseen capsule review of this is the same as for the last one:

Transformers?

FUCK that shit!

SURVIVAL…

RESEARCH…

LABS!!!!!!!!!!

]]> By: Boba Fett Diop http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527816 Boba Fett Diop Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527816 This seems appropriate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pM8PrqY5Rg This seems appropriate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pM8PrqY5Rg

]]> By: caldrax http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528330 caldrax Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528330 I am baffled that there are people here, and there, responding to this review as if it genuinely is hailing Transformers as a good movie. Is sarcasm really THAT hard to read on the internet? You'd think the casual mention of "6 hours into the movie" would do the trick and people would start to comprehend that the writing is not meant to be taken seriously. This review was genius and while I feel guilty for paying to see the film, it was a spectacle. A literal and figurative car crash. I simply could not avoid watching it because I felt compelled to experience first hand the most excessive abuse of money and resources ever to vomit itself forth from Hollywood. I was not disappointed. Oh and it's good to see some GM vehicles on the road again. Damn, I wonder how much of the bailout money went into product placement in this horrorshow... I am baffled that there are people here, and there, responding to this review as if it genuinely is hailing Transformers as a good movie. Is sarcasm really THAT hard to read on the internet? You’d think the casual mention of “6 hours into the movie” would do the trick and people would start to comprehend that the writing is not meant to be taken seriously.

This review was genius and while I feel guilty for paying to see the film, it was a spectacle. A literal and figurative car crash. I simply could not avoid watching it because I felt compelled to experience first hand the most excessive abuse of money and resources ever to vomit itself forth from Hollywood. I was not disappointed. Oh and it’s good to see some GM vehicles on the road again. Damn, I wonder how much of the bailout money went into product placement in this horrorshow…

]]> By: Brett Burton http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527826 Brett Burton Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527826 This review of TRANSFORMERS: ROTF is TRANSFORMERS: ROTFL This review of
TRANSFORMERS: ROTF
is
TRANSFORMERS: ROTFL

]]> By: orangebag http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-528084 orangebag Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-528084 the bbc review linked in #14 is funnier and will take less time. but it is a video. the bbc review linked in #14 is funnier and will take less time. but it is a video.

]]> By: nehpetsE http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527830 nehpetsE Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527830 Sounds very much like Showgirls, (if all of the show girls were late model GM cars) Now i kind of want to see it. I love movies where you don't have to wait for stuff to happen. Sounds very much like Showgirls, (if all of the show girls were late model GM cars)

Now i kind of want to see it.

I love movies where you don’t have to wait for stuff to happen.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-832214 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-832214 I liked it. I liked it.

]]> By: elk http://boingboing.net/2009/06/26/terrific-review-of-t.html#comment-527832 elk Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-527832 Awesome, so where's the rallying cry for Gilliam then? Sadly missing. Awesome, so where’s the rallying cry for Gilliam then? Sadly missing.

]]>