Sarah Palin, via Twitter: God told me to sue the internet

Wonkette has a post up about @AKGovSarahPalin's crazy late-night twitter bender. She's gonna have to give up that handle, no? Anyway, after you slog through all the crazy ungrammatical Palinglish rambling, the point seems to be that a "higher calling" has directed her to file anti-defamation lawsuits against a number of news websites for having reported the news that she quit her post as governor of Alaska (her "news conference" to that effect is embedded above). From Wonkette:

[A]fter crazily quitting her elected position as governor of Alaska, via an alarming backyard last-minute press conference void of any explanation , at the classic 4 p.m. hour of the Friday-Holiday news dump, Sarah Palin is now twatting on the twitter about how her Anchorage attorneys are going to SUE THE AMERICAN MEDIA, for saying "WTF?" Honestly, this is what Sarah Palin twatted on Saturday Night, July 4th, Independence Day, in America.

Her link goes to (of course) Scientologist nut and sub-literate weirdo Greta Van Susteren's blog on, where Greta has helpfully (?) posted seven pages of legal threats from Palin's lawyers, although you can't actually read beyond the first vague page of whining bullshit, because Greta/Fox can't figure out how to operate the Internet.

But, from other websites, we gather Palin's lawyers plan lawsuits against MSNBC, the New York Times, the Huffington Post, the Washington Post, individual bloggers in Alaska, and other such anti-Palin forces such as "rain on your wedding day" and static cling.

Related reading: Anchorage Daily News article, hilarious. Vanity Fair article: It Came from Wasilla (and "Don't Blame Us"). (via @Andrew Baron)

On his excellent "nedslist" mailing list, Ned Sublette wrote this concise and spot-on appreciation of the official text of Palin's goodbye speech:

[W]hat Roland Barthes would have called the pleasure of this text has to be savored in full to draw out its pure nuttiness. It's hard to know what to appreciate more: the all-caps prepositions; the sentence fragments that begin the fifth and sixth paragraphs, the run-on sentences, the frequent exclamation points!, the quotation from her parents' refrigerator magnet, the basketball analogy, the proposed logic of quitting so as not to be a quitter, or the grammatically incorrect final sentence framing the misattributed punchline, which was actually said not by General Douglas MacArthur but by General Oliver P. Smith. I especially like the capital O of "Outside" in "Outside special interests," which reminds us that the world consists of two parts: Alaska, and Outside.

But what I most enjoy is the authenticity of this text; there can be no question that Governor You Betcha wrote it herself {wink}.


  1. Well, Palin running for Presidents would be a sure fire way to ensure Barack Obama gets re-elected!

  2. Well. . . if Palin asserts the right to sue anyone who defamed her by speculating that she might be under investigation, doesn’t this open the gates for Obama to sue anyone who still thinks his birth certificate is a fraud and has the gall to express that on a blog or TV show?

    Something about this whole mess reminds me of a 1/2-assed attempt to pull a Rove-style PR trick on the public: she wants to get out of the spotlight. . . so she’ll sue a whole bunch of “liberal media elites”, which will cause her to remain in the spotlight for months and years (assuming her case has any merit, and if it does then FoxNews and hundreds of AM radio loudmouths are suddenly fair game for similar suits.)

  3. Um, everyone’s entitled to one ‘drunken twitter’ night… then you have folks like @glennbeck [yeah, Glenn Beck] where every day is a new gem of intoxication.

    Ooooops. Wrong window.

  4. “twatted” as a past participle for “tweet” is vulgar yet eerily appropriate.

  5. I feel in a Dick novel. This is absurd.

    I thought she was going to resign so she could move to Texas and Michigan to see Mexico and then Canada from her new house and strengthen her foreign policy before the election.

    Sue me.

  6. Hey Sarah! God spoke to me and asked if you could stop name-dropping Him. It’s giving Him a bad name.

  7. So the backwoods country mayor can’t take the heat.

    From what I gather, one of the reasons per close family friends is that she can’t take her family being drawn into the spotlight. Given over the years, the slander that the Clintons had to take, the Bushes had to take, the Obama’s are currently taking, it goes with the job. Yes, there is a lot of character assasination that is made up of whole cloth and insane depraved fantasy with not a stitch of truth in it.

    So what’s she gonna do if she really does run for Prez in 2012? and finds it’s more of the same? Quit one year into her term?

    And if it’s a Rove Ploy and I have to listen to her campaigning until 2012? OH GOD PLEASE SPARE ME AND TAKE ME NOW! If this is the best that Republicans can do, us conservatives out there need to form a new party.

  8. I know I can’t be the only one that can’t read anything knowing it came from her. That damn Wasilla accent won’t get out of my head!

  9. I don’t know if this is because I typically don’t follow politics, but I could not piece together a SINGLE thing that she said. I don’t know how she ever passed College Speaking 101. Also, why was the announcement held lakeside? The local wildlife was… distracting to say the least.


  10. The most incredible part for me is in the Anchorage Daily News article: Van Flein is threatening legal action agains the NYT and WP for asking questions about this story, not for reporting or even re-reporting it.

  11. My god. Her insane rambling scares the piss out of me. The fact that someone who is so utterly incoherent could actual get within a mile of the presidency is horrifying.

    Republicans… for the love of god, pull your shit together. We need an opposition party. One party rule sucks. I really want an opposition party there to throw the break when the majority loses their mind (the employee ‘free choice’ act comes to mind). The Republicans though… the epic failure of the candidates they have been putting together is scary. I would take one party rule over rule by that inane babbling creature.

    Republicans, it really is okay to pick someone who is a leader and who isn’t borderline brain dead. Remember Newt Gingrich? Remember that when he managed to push a Republican agenda under a democratic president wielding less than a super majority? That is what it looks like when you have an intelligent leader at the helm. See what a pathetic rabble you are now? That is what happens when you let morons like Bush and Palin drive the ship.

    The Republican party is pathetic.

  12. The first thing I thought of, when I first heard that rambling, incoherent speech, was that some sh*t is about to hit the fan. (Actually, my exact words were “Cherchez la femme”.)

    I immediately suspected that there’s some news that is about to come out that will confirm some stereotypes about loudly-Christian Republicans’ habit of breaking the law…

  13. “…the world consists of two parts: Alaska, and Outside..”

    Yes and lest we forget her and hubby’s membership in AIP an Alaska Secessisonist Group for over 10 years.

    What is it with the right: Perry wants Texas to secede, Pahlin wants Alaska to secede….

    Go already!

  14. I know this is just a blog, but the headline and article here are really misleading. When you go read the sources, the following things are clear:

    1) Palin makes no mention of God in her Twitter posts on the issue (go read them yourself, it’s not hard)

    2) She’s not suing anyone for reporting that she has resigned.

    3) What she is doing is threatening legal action against a blogger (Shannyn Moore) who reported that there were rumors of a federal investigation. Moore didn’t say that there was a federal investigation, just that there had been rumors. Palin’s also now talking about suing other media outlets for reporting that these rumors exist.

    4) Even if Moore had repeated the rumor as truth, her lawyer is suggesting that the Moore’s statements are defamation because ‘we can categorically state that we are not aware of any “federal investigation” that has been “pending” for the last seven years.’ Palin’s lawyers are not actually saying that “there is not an investigation” because, of course, the government wouldn’t have to tell them about one if there was one. So they’re talking about taking them to court for defamation without actually even being able to say definitively that the rumors aren’t true.

    That’s your story there. No any BS about “God telling her” anything or suing people for reporting her resignation. There’s enough of a story here without the exaggerations.

  15. Lest we forget, this is, after all, the woman who selflessly (and thanklessly) thinned the advancing northern hoard of wild wolves (probably Satanists) who were poised to overrun the populated areas of Southern Alaska

  16. To add to what I said before, here’s the full text of all of Palin’s tweets about the lawsuits:

    # so I’ll make attempt to keep up w/attaching corrected info. I head 2 West AK villages today, look forward to their busy comm fish activity!
    -about 2 hours ago from TwitterBerry

    # Critics are spinning, so hang in there as they feed false info on the right decision made as I enter last yr in office to not run again….
    -about 2 hours ago from TwitterBerry

    # To see full text of the letter from my attorney on baseless allegations of past 24hrs check
    -about 12 hours ago from web
    # See letter from my attorney on baseless allegations of past 24hrs @
    -about 13 hours ago from web

    See any mention of a higher power? Me neither. As such, the headline is inaccurate to a level of basically just being a lie.

  17. those who cannot remember the past… Nixon? TWO rounds of ShoeBoy?

    Be told America: take your eyes off this viper at your peril.

  18. I don’t know how anyone could possibly think she’d make a good president after she’s shown time and time again that she has absolutely no stomach for criticism, no matter how well-founded. Did she not notice Bush getting slammed left and right?

  19. .

    That wasn’t GOD! That was ME!

    And what I told her was STFU, already.

    That beeyotch can’t get ANYTHING right!

    I do rather stringingly resemble the Almighty, though. Same rakish moustache…

    Hey, I was made in His image, what can I say?

  20. I remember Newt. A mean, dishonest, and utterly ruthless man who sat in the Speaker’s chair and imagined that he was President.

  21. @KeithIrwin

    It may not say it on Twitter, but she does in fact say that a higher calling has directed her to file the lawsuits.

    So, “God told me to sue the internets” is not really far off… in fact I think it’s a perfect headline.

    May I suggest to read the article?

  22. Seriously, can’t we just dislike Sarah Palin, and make a few light jokes about her? We don’t have to be immature, putting words in her mouth like this. She never said that ‘God told her to sue’, or any such nonsense.

    Guess what: She’s completely unfit to be president, but she’s still a human being who tries to do what she thinks is best, even if she’s been misguided or has beliefs that are often disagreed with. The way she’s been treated is disgusting.

  23. Ouch, the logic in this speech. More or less, I would only waste millions of taxpayer dollars as a lame duck Governor, and I can’t put Alaska through that?

    It turns out that Governor Palin and her legal counsel don’t watch Fox News after all, since the “some people are saying…” tactic has been the network’s stock in trade for years. Suing media outlets for repeating rumors is like trying to take piss out of a swimming pool, with lawyers. Some people are saying that she is not very smart, and such as. See what I did there?

  24. Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our natural resources. This land, blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, and oil and gas. It’s energy! God gave us energy.

    So that we may convert it to smog, contaminated water, vanished species, stripmine tailings and dry wells. Maybe AK’s new anthem should be a paen titled, “Oh Energy, tis of Thee!!!!” <- appropriate number of Palin Points.

  25. Posting Title:
    “Sarah Palin, via Twitter: God told me to sue the internet”

    As a few other folks have noted above, God is not mentioned on Twitter. Furthermore, her tweets/twats don’t seem drunk.

    On the contrary, her speech seems far more drunken, rambling, and anxiety filled.

    Did she delete some of her tweets? That would explain something. Although, there isn’t anything that could explain that speech.

    You know what a good point guard does against a full court press? She flees off the court passing the ball to whoever the hell will take it. Or maybe this is a Brett Farve sort of strategy…

  26. @Fixxxer

    Firstly, the headline says that she tweeted that God told her to sue people. She very obviously did not do that. It is clearly and obviously factually incorrect.

    Secondly, I don’t know which of the four or five different linked articles you’re talking about, but I’ve read all of them and none of them talk about God. The closest is the her facebook entry which says:

    How sad that Washington and the media will never understand; it’s about country. And though it’s honorable for countless others to leave their positions for a higher calling and without finishing a term, of course we know by now, for some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make.

    That doesn’t say anything about God. It’s clear that the “higher calling” she’s talking about is trying to serve her country. And even there she doesn’t say anything like “I heard a higher calling”. It is not in any way a direct reference to God.

    Now, on the other hand, I suspect that you’re referencing the Huffington Post article which just takes a bunch of quotes from her Facebook post and cuts them up and talks about them. That one quotes her saying “higher calling” but cuts away all the context. That’s misleading at best. I’m going to the source itself, not someone else’s paraphrasing it. You should consider doing the same.

  27. “g”, dammit. (the reckless stupidity of some misplaced human kindness makes my wattles shiver)

  28. Nah…there’s definitely some reason she’s hiding for stepping down. She using that same stream-of-consciousness smokescreen nonsense she’d use during the campaign when someone would ask her a tough question.

    She’s got this way of just yapping and yapping and hyper-answering (without actually saying anything) so that the question-er kinda gives up trying to get a meaningful answer.

    Something’s going on.

  29. I’ve got to wonder how somebody this monstrously incompetant at public speaking managed to get anywhere in a political party. She makes Bush look eloquent.

  30. Stream-of-consciousness? There’s no consciousness there, just memorized platitudes strung together to give the resemblance that there is a sentient entity at work.

    In other news:

    It’s the Mayan Palingenesis! The Resurrection of the radioactive phoenix!

  31. Her written announcement (still there for anyone to read on the State of Alaska’s official web site) is, if nothing else, a damning indictment of the state’s public education system.

    Re Ned Sublette:

    He’s the tall guy on the right in this, one of the best scenes in The American Astronaut the strangest and most idiosyncratic American movie that isn’t Tarnation.

  32. I say let her speak for herself.

    “…this great land, vast riches, beauty, strategic placement on the globe, and opportunity.”
    “It’s energy! God gave us energy.”
    “The missile can reach Alaska.”
    “yeah, that includes our clinging to Second Amendment rights and to our faith in God. Many of us do cling to that strong faith in God, and it is under God, in Him do we still trust.”

    “That’s what we have to make sure that we are praying for: that there is a plan and that that plan is God’s plan.”

    “I can do my part in working really, really hard to get a natural gas pipeline, about a $30 billion project that’s going to create a lot of jobs for Alaska. … [but] I think God’s will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that,” she said. “I can do my job there in developing our natural resources, in doing things like getting the roads paved and making sure our troopers have their cop cars and their uniforms and their guns, and making sure our public schools are funded. But really that stuff doesn’t do any good if the people of Alaska’s hearts aren’t right with God.”

    Palin praised the graduating class as “a bunch of cool-looking Christians.” Then she picked out one student in the crowd and said with a smile, “Ben, I don’t know you well enough yet, but looking at you, I’m thinking, people are going to interested in Jesus Christ through you because of the way you look – this red-headed Sasquatch for Jesus. You look good!” The students cheered. “Times are really changin’. And with the times that change, looks even change.”

    //Speech is posted on the Web site of Palin’s former church, the Wasilla Assembly of God.

    You’re either with her, or you’re her enemy. If you’re not christian then she is morally (in her own mind) obligated to remove you from the face of existence. This is what is most dangerous about this woman AND her associates… they are fundamentalists who are attempting to instill a theocracy based on fringe fundamentalist belief systems. There is no difference between her and any militant Islamic fundamentalist except language and name of their god. She’ll be back and she’ll be carrying a list of social, ethnic, and racial types to be lionized as dangers to the Amerikan lifestyle.

  33. July 4th was going to be nation wide Tea Party Rally.

    Me neither but I digress

    And yet despite these folks being Pahlin’s peeps her devoted base and the core of her loyal (too death) customers for books, paid speeches and Faux News Sarah resigns rather than speak at a Tea Party Rally??!??

    Nope don’t follow at all, she’s batshit but cunning and selfish – so why did Caribou Barbie pass up a chance to be fawned over by her biggest bestest fans…

  34. For the first time ever I actually do agree with Palin. Alaska will be better off with her leaving office early.

  35. Both mermaid and KeithIrwin don’t get that wonkette is a humor blog. The led is outrageous on purpose. Just like when Palin says:

    “The response in the main stream media,” she says, has been both “predictable” and “ironic.”

    Irony fail.

  36. @Takuan

    I’m not defending her. I’m attacking the idea of misrepresenting what she said. If you can’t see that difference, you might as well just switch to the other side. This whole “if you’re not with us you’re against us” thing is very Bush.

  37. @Noen

    I completely understand that Wonkette is a humorous political blog. It’s Xeni who doesn’t seem to get that. She is the one reporting Wonkette’s exaggerations as if they are fact. She didn’t say “Here’s an funny post from Wonkette about recent Palin stuff”. She says “Sarah Palin, via Twitter: God told me to sue the internet”. That’s not humor. That’s just misrepresentation.

  38. hmmmm… how to explain…

    perhaps… when walking down the moon lit streets of your hometown and being confronted by a figure wielding a knife and demanding your money AND your life, do you stop to consider all the social inequities and vagaries of genetics that conspired to produce this situation and go on to soliloquize at length as to the tragedy of the human condition and the fundamental Unfairness of the Universe (with footnotes a la Sartre) – or do you smile and use a driving stamp-kick into the shin while breaking the arm and finishing with an Istanbul Twist?

    The single biggest reason that the Cheney Mafia rose to unchallenged power was the inability of the natural opposition (ie: the forces of Good) to recognize a threat and react accordingly. It does not compromise your fundamental tenets to do whta is necessary for those tenets to survive.

    Bottom line: even if you become a monster to kill a monster, at least you will be tormented by conscience and the evil you did will die with you. Not so for them.

    See clearly.

  39. Xeni please change the title of this post.

    It’s inaccurate. Even though this woman is an incoherent scary lunatic. lets keep our info factual.

  40. “Sarah Palin, via Twitter: God told me to sue the internet”

    Very very misleading headline.
    Don’t the facts matter? Or does truth cease to be important when you dislike the person you are speaking of?

  41. I love CNN’s report of this:

    “As Gov. Sarah Palin blasted the media Saturday in a tough Facebook post, her attorney delivered a strong warning to news outlets that they should not report any stories that allege the Alaska governor is leaving office because she is under any kind of federal investigation.”

    Then the disclaimer of a next paragraph:

    “CNN has not reported these allegations were in any way connected to the governor’s decision to leave office early.”


  42. and where were all the bleeding hearts for Palin when the truth was being raped for eight long years?

  43. Inept. That was completely incoherent. I honestly couldn’t follow what she was saying. It frightens me that such a lunatic was so close to the presidency. I’m actually glad she’s openly stepping down though. I think it’s a good decision. Her crazy ideas don’t gel with reality and in her own way she seems to recognize that via that bizarre word salad I just watched. So she has some sense at least, or rather she’s not proud in addition to crazy.

  44. Amazing how some people get bent out of shape over making fun of Sarah Palin. The tile of the post is supposed to be humorous, not factual. Can’t cope? You probably shouldn’t read things here. The blogger in these parts frequently employ sarcasm and satire.

  45. Sarah: “The best way for this administration to continue is to transfer authority to the liutenant governor, which I am willing to do…”

    Since it is *her* administration, she is saying that “the best way for this administration to continue” is for this administration to not to continue.

    Governor Palin, you were elected to this office, and short of a medical crisis which disables you, there is no legitimate reason by which you can walk away from the office.

    If I were an Alaskan who voted for GOVERNOR Palin, I would be feeling very betrayed right now.

    Finally, your decision not to seek re-election, while it makes you a defacto lame duck, does *not* confer upon you the choice to marginalize the effectiveness you could have *had* (as a lame duck), if indeed you could have had any for the remainder of your term regardless. You can’t blame being a lame duck on your decision to abandon your job, since *you* decided to be a lame duck.

  46. Well, Takuan, when truth is raped it’s always a horrible thing, not worse when your enemies do it, and NOT OK when your friends do it.

  47. @Antinous

    What? Takuan can make 10 different little inane repetitive anti-Palin comments and you don’t bat an eye, but I respond when people attack my comments and misrepresent what I said and this merits a comment from you? It’s not as if I’ve been repeating myself at all. The double post was because Noen’s post hadn’t shown up for me when I was responding to Takuan.

    I’m starting to notice a distinct trend here. I always put the same amount of care and thought into my comments. But when I make comments which are critical or offer corrections, they draw a lot more negative attention.

    If I am attacked, I will defend myself. Self-defense is not objectionable to my principles. But if I were attacked by someone wielding a knife, I wouldn’t defend myself by shooting that person’s infant son to distract them. This is because I have principles. If that means that I get killed rather than shoot an infant, then that’s what happens.

    You say that working against those who threaten your principles automatically does not compromise your principles but that’s not necessarily true. In this particular case, one of my principles is that being truthful is important. Lying to defend the importance of truth is a loss, not a victory.

    Working to defend your principles does not automatically compromise them, but the idea that it automatically does not is nothing more than a fancy way of saying “the ends justify the means”. The argument you are using is precisely the same one which they are using to justify torture and suspending habeus corpus: we have to give up our freedoms and principles to defend our freedoms and principles.

    In the end, this just doesn’t work. Defeating monsters doesn’t require becoming a monster. It requires staying human. Defending your principles requires sticking by them. And if you can’t live by your principles and also defend them, then your principles are going to lose either way.

    Really, your argument relies on the idea that today’s enemies are exceptional. That you can set aside your principles right now to take care of them and that will be the end of it. But human nature and human struggle has not fundamentally changed within the time of recorded history. So you won’t just have to set your principles aside today, you’ll have to do it next year and the year after. And then at that point, you don’t have any principles to defend, just a vague idea of what side you’re on.

    1. Keith,

      You’re confusing principles with humorlessness. Since Xeni travels around the world, sleeping on dirt floors in refugee camps, so that she can report on poverty and human rights violations, I’m quite certain that she not only has principles, but acts on them. And she has a sense of humor. As defense of principles goes, arguing with anonymous readers on an entertainment blog is pretty far down the ladder.

  48. I don’t understand any of her “reasoning” (and the use of the royal “we” ticks me off), but does anyone have the slightest reasonable explanation for the argument that there’s no work for a governor to do in the last year or so of his/her term if s/he is not expecting to be re-elected (which isn’t the same thing as BEING re-elected, in any case)??

  49. Quit her job as mayor. Quit her petroleum board ethics panel position. Quit her position as governor.

    Is everyone in Wasilla this kind of a quitter or what? I didn’t think Alaskans were like that.

  50. Does anyone know if there is any precedent for an elected leader, either governor, US congressman or senator, resigning their office when they were *NOT* either facing a terminal illness or were about to be indicted or otherwise forced to resign?

    I am not talking about the time-honored excuse of “resigning to spend more time with the family” to pre-empt some scandal.

  51. Pre-empting a scandal seems like the most likely thing going on here. That, or she’s insane. I can’t see how this could possibly be a reasoned move toward the presidency.

  52. Did anyone else notice her daughter on the right was bored to tears? It was the only thing that helped me pay any attention to that rambling, babbling brook of BS.

  53. @Darren Garrison
    What on earth are you talking about? I’m not complaining about Wonkette’s headline (which for the record is “Insane Sarah Palin, Late At Night On July 4, Threatens To Sue Entire Internet, Via Twitter”). I’m complaining about the BoingBoing headline. That one right up there. I didn’t even mention Wonkette until someone else claimed I was being critical of Wonkette. I’m commenting on BoingBoing to complain about BoingBoing.

    The whole bit about the principles is an immediate response to Takuan’s previous comment about how the reason he’s against being truthful about Palin is because he has to give up his tenets in order to fight those who are opposed to them. If you didn’t read that bit, my response to it won’t make any sense. Also, you should probably read that because it’s sort of scary.

    I don’t doubt for a moment that Xeni has principles and that included in those principles is that truth is a very good thing and deception is a bad thing. I’m also not lacking for a sense of humor, despite this not being a very funny discussion (anyone who knows me will vouch for my sense of humor). But what’s happening here is that she’s taken a post from Wonkette which contains a mixture of truth and exaggeration in it and presented on BoingBoing as if it were true. It’s sort of like when Xinhua has picked up stories sourced from The Onion and ran them as news (and for the record, that was funny).

    The headline of this story does not sound like a joke and there’s no indication that anyone reading took it as one. There’s no smiley face. There’s no joking tone to the BoingBoing part of the article. BoingBoing doesn’t generally run satire, although they often link to it. This post has the feel the Xeni is summarizing the factual bits of something and also linking to a mix of satirical blog posts and non-satirical newspaper articles on the same topic. Except that the summarized facts are incorrect.

    Really, I figured that I would point this out, someone would realize the mistake and it would get changed. It’s a simple matter of facts which anyone can verify if they take 10 minutes to read the articles, the twitter posts, and the facebook post. But it’s easy to get the wrong impression if you skim the articles and don’t read the original source material that those articles are written from at all. I had assumed that that was what had happened here and that someone would appreciate having that pointed out. I can see now that clearly I was mistaken.

    Really, I thought that as often as BoingBoing has been willing to criticize reporters who get things wrong that they’d want to hold themselves to a pretty good standard of truth. I mean, whenever I write something to Fox News saying “hey, this is factually incorrect” and citing sources, I don’t expect a response or correction and am never surprised when I don’t get one. But I thought that you guys had higher standards.

    I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can tell you where I was for the 8 years of Bush’s presidency. I was actively campaigning against him wherever I could, including writing numerous letters to the editor to my local paper. I don’t have some sort of mixed record on this. I’m for truth. I’m against truthiness, regardless of who is doing it. You and I are on the same side of the political spectrum except that you seem to feel that the ends justify the means, an idea I emphatically reject.

  54. Now that GOVERNOR Palin will no longer be tied to living in Alaska (although it may be politically convenient for her to maintain a residence there), I have not heard anyone speculate on where she will live next.

    My guess is either near Washington, D.C., or Florida or Texas. She will either choose to be close to the centers of Federal power, or she will move to a conservative state with a better climate…and good shopping malls.

    I suppose she could live in Idaho and still reach the Base… That might sit better with The First Musher, who is going to be frustrated that he can’t ride his “snow machine” in Florida or Texas.

  55. Wait…I have it…Sarah Palin will move to Colorado.

    Think about it:

    * Centrally located, so she can meet with the Base relatively easily

    * Western (“Conservative”) state

    * Large base of Evangelicals

    * Terrain somewhat resembles Alaska, and plenty of snow for Todd to play in.

    “Governor” Palin will resettle in Colorado.

  56. For some reason I didn’t get the sarcasm of Xeni’s title. Sorry for that.

    I enjoyed reading your post (#68)

  57. Keith: your tolerance for evil is an end in itself. Would you tell your grandchildren in chains: “at least I played fair”?

  58. Palin and Limbaugh are the sweetest candies in the box for us progressives. For years we’ve been trying to make Neo-cons face up to what they are. Viola! Two mirrors!

  59. # so I’ll make attempt to keep up w/attaching corrected info. I head 2 West AK villages today, look forward to their busy comm fish activity!
    -about 2 hours ago from TwitterBerry

    I hadn’t been following the tweets (the official press releases are bad enough) but I do want to point out that there isn’t any commercial fishing on the Yukon River western Villages and the subsistence (i.e., annual food catch) is also cancelled there. [no fish] Bristol Bay (home of Todd Palin’s commercial operation) has been closed because there aren’t enough canning operators to keep up. [lack of transportation to markets, basically] Later clarification tweet– she’s going to the beach house (fish camp).

    Religious tweets (only about her Wasilla church?) on the Governor of Alaska’s account would include– Trail of Healing and Trail of Healing Gatherings

    # Thank you Wasilla for Trail of Healing! May God bless efforts of reconciliation; it shall be manifested in more respect for AKs First People11:09 AM Jun 28th from TwitterBerry

    Trail of Healing: Moller, Will Mayo, other Native leaders say important to remember past as we move forward, but must not live in the past11:01 AM Jun 28th from TwitterBerry

    John Moller attends Trail of Healing for admin today, says it was “awesome”! Many Natives from all tribes & non-natives from around AK went10:55 AM Jun 28th from TwitterBerry

  60. #73

    Does anyone know if there is any precedent for an elected leader, either governor, US congressman or senator, resigning their office when they were *NOT* either facing a terminal illness or were about to be indicted or otherwise forced to resign

    Wally Hickel, governor of Alaska, quit to join Nixon’s cabinet.

  61. @84 MPB,

    Thanks, although moving from state office to an appointment in the Cabinet isn’t quite the same, because that is an obvious opportunity to serve, at the National level, *within* the government.

    Gov. Palin is resigning to leave government altogether.

    So my question stands: did any Governor or US Congressman or Senator resign when they were *not* ill, facing indictment, or were nominated to a more important position *within* (Federal) government?

  62. When did we start taking BoingBoing headlines so literally and seriously? Next, we take on the LOLcats at I can has cheezburger?

  63. I could not find any reference to a higher power.
    This headline is bullshit.

    Would you tell your grandchildren in chains: “at least I played fair”?

    Ah yes. The ends sanctify the means. Also known as ‘modifying the facts to fit the bigger truth’ or ‘war is peace’.
    Chances are that if one needs to resort to embellishing the truth, it is because one has nothing to gain from rational observation of the facts.

    1. Boing Boing is not the BBC. Although you might find news here, what BB offers are impressions, opinions, analysis and humor. If you’re looking at BB as a replacement for an actual news organization, don’t. And, for god’s sake, lighten up.

  64. Here’s a homey corn fed quote for Mrs Sarah Palin to contemplate after the fact. Since the cat’s out of the bag, the horse is out of the barn, that ship done sailed it’s a little too late to implement, but here it is:

    Never wrestle with a pig, you get filthy and the pig likes it.

    Pretty much sums up the Internet reaction to the Third of July Surprise. Now the public kitchen’s pretty hot. Kind of fun watching the goofballs on both sides have a field day, the mud slinging is in full swing and both pro and con pigs are just loving it!

  65. Reading her resignation letter, I have to wonder if she really graduated from high school much less college.

  66. I’m guessing, Spazzm, that you are not a regular visitor to the site.

    If you want to be angry, maybe another place would suit you better.

  67. “Deer (sic) Alaska,

    I will miss you!! XOXO

    I will miss shooting wolves where permitted by law from helicopter.

    I will miss getting-by with an “Aw shucks” and a big smile.

    I will miss shopping at the Thrift Shoppe!

    I can best serve you by not serving you, and making a lot more money elsewhere.

    Sincerely yours,
    Sarah P. :-)

    P.S. Don’t call me, I’ll call you…unless I need you again.

  68. Did it ever occur to the accuracy trolls that perhaps Xeni wants Palin to sue BoingBoing as well? Literalists miss so much!

    Anyhoo, Bob Harris had the best take on it:

    “Sarah Palin resigning as governor of Alaska to position herself for the White House is like Limahl leaving Kajagoogoo so his solo career could blossom.”

  69. Wow. So much arguing over a silly headline.

    You know. . . I’m willing to bet that madam Palin would claim (has already claimed?) GOD influences every aspect of her life, so we can then assume the headline is technically correct.

    Those “Palin/Jindal 2012” t-shirts are great . . . an ideal gift for both republicans and democrats (albeit for very different reasons)

  70. Mrs. Palin, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent speech was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul!

  71. I can NOT have a cheezburger and I did NOT laugh out loud. I DEMAND that Boingboing take down all posts that are not literally and factually true!!


    oh…. and people are laughing at me on the intertubes… I’ll sue. I the meantime while I talk to my lawyers I’m quitting commenting on BoingBoing. Know why? Because only quitters stick it through to the very end, winners quit in order to pursue the almighty dollar. That’s Leadership!

  72. You think she would have quit the vp for the same reason she’s quitting governor??

  73. @CALDRAX:

    I initially thought you typed, “She is dumber than several bags of hamsters.”

    I refuse to correct my initial impression.

  74. It is common to allow a person to retain an honorific title after they no longer server in that official capacity.

    For example, ex-Senators, are politely addressed, “Senator…”

    But I don’t feel Governor Palin deserves the honorific, if she resigns voluntarily, from her first term, before it was completed.

    While it is true that she was elected to the position, it will also be true that she did not complete a (single) term of office. While she can accurately be referred to a Governor Palin while she is in office, I think “Ms. Palin” is adequate ever-afterward, considering the terms of her departure from office.

  75. Sarah Palin is delightful, charismatic, charming and one good lookin’ mamma. She just doesn’t have the tools for politics. Or the tenacity. Or the heart, the education, or intellect.
    I can’t believe that the GOP didn’t have the sense to get her a coach and a speechwriter. She could have done some real damage with some coaching (whew!)
    Maybe she’s been offered a reality show. Or a game show. I can see that working: Seven Bags of Hamsters, starring Ms. Sarah Bailin’.

  76. @Takuan :81

    I can make ridiculous rhetorical statements too. Here:
    Your embracing evil is an evil of itself. Will you tell your grandchildren “Thank goodness you’re in our chains instead of their chains”?

    @Antinous and others

    I don’t expect BoingBoing to be the BBC, but I expect that if they put up a story which is factually incorrect that they’ll fix it when someone points that out as they have done numerous times before. This story may be about something humorous which happened, but it isn’t a joke. It’s more like a news-of-the-weird article. It’s funny only when it’s accurate. If it’s not accurate it’s just a personal attack on Sarah Palin. Now Takuan can argue that we ought to be attacking Sarah Palin because she’s a bad person, but there’s not really any valid argument for pretending that this is satire or a joke or something else where it’s plain to readers that the headline isn’t true. It’s clear from the comments that most readers believed the headline to be literally true.

    But if you go read the actual twitter feed or the facebook post in question (which takes two minutes), then it’s obvious that the headline is completely wrong and just made-up from whole cloth. It’s just a baseless attack on a public figure.

    Anyway, I’m giving up on commenting here. I thought that maybe when some of the boingers gave a look at things, someone might have intervened, but it looks like that isn’t going to happen. So, that’s it for me. I’m done commenting here. It used to be a fruitful endeavor. Not so much these days. I think I’ll go start my own blog. Maybe I’ll begin it with a post called “Xeni Jardin attacks Sarah Palin with a Knife”. I’m sure people will understand that I really mean “a blog post”.

  77. Gosh, I hate to feed the righteous trolls but it’s got to be done:

    @ KeithIrwin

    Um…bye. Two points before you go:

    1) Good luck with the ‘blog!

    2) Kind of a creepy trend in your comments regarding the comparison of argument with physical violence. You might want to cool it off a bit because, just casually reading through this thread has put me right off you and thus completely undermined any point you were trying to make. All this “attack with a knife!” and “shooting infant children” stuff is just grandstanding and pretty OTT considering the nature of your original complaint (re: the accuracy of a comedic headline).

    Sorry to derail slightly. I found the OP and the links off it very interesting reading, having been a visitor to the US for work reasons during the month leading up to the election, and I can recall being taken aback by the hard swing that McCain took to the right and the “would be hilarious if it wasn’t downright chilling” tone that the Republican camp’s interviews and rallies took right up to election day.

    I can’t say I’m fussed by inaccuracy in the title of the post, really. I have a mental image of God sitting facepalming and going: “*Use*! I said *USE* the internet! Why doesn’t anyone LISTEN?”

  78. TWAT

    Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
    Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
    You give me the horrors
    too bad to be true
    All of my tomorrow’s
    are lousy coz of you.

    You put the Shat in Shatter
    Put the Pain in Spain
    Your germs are splattered about
    Your face is just a stain

    You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
    Do us all a favour, here… wear this polythene bag.

    You’re like a dose of scabies,
    I’ve got you under my skin.
    You make life a fairy tale… Grimm!

    People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
    I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
    You’ve got this slippery quality,
    it makes me think of phlegm,
    and a dual personality
    I hate both of them.

    Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
    Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
    Like a death a birthday party,
    you ruin all the fun.
    Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
    you’re no use to anyone.
    Like the shadow of the guillotine
    on a dead consumptive’s face.
    Speaking as an outsider,
    what do you think of the human race

    You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
    He recommended suicide…
    before scratching your bad name off his list,
    and pointing the way outside.

    You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
    You’re heading for a breakdown,
    better pull yourself apart.

    Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
    Your attitudes are platitudes,
    just make me wanna piss.

    What kind of creature bore you
    Was is some kind of bat
    They can’t find a good word for you,
    but I can…


  79. #57 Antinous

    You’ve made your point. Do you have anything else to add?

    I’ll add my voice to his, for what it’s worth. Xeni’s headline is a factual misrepresentation. It was spun out of whole cloth for no apparent reason, when the truth of the situation is absurd and outrageous enough.

    Spreading bullshit is not OK when “we” do it.

  80. I agree that something else going on here…but let’s put that aside and revert to old fashioned common sense. The reason to issue statement like this one on July 3rd is to hide it…Also, check out the crowds at the “news conference” , I’m sure they were handpicked and even them are not clapping.

    If one looks at Palin _love_ for media in the past this has to come as a surprise.

    PS I can’t believe no one picked up on the ducks in the background, I find very funny and ironic…even Palin seem to be speaking louder whenever ducks do their quacking…

  81. Concern trolls need new concern, so here’s one:

    None of her Twitters include the info that she’s “suing the internet” either. Work on that one for a while.

  82. Keith, I hope you won’t go. You know darn well that BoingBoing does not represent itself as a legitimate news agency with any kind of responsibility to offer factual reports. It’s more like MAD Magazine or SNL, or a virtual ‘secret fort’ where neighborhood kids gather to snicker about gossip, grown-ups and things they don’t want their moms to hear.
    And even tho she didn’t say that God has given her a different direction, most of us are fairly sure that that is what she’s telling friends.
    If you hang with a group of like-minded friends, you won’t gain nearly as much as you do when you’re compelled to defend your beliefs.
    Hang tough, buddy. There’s a lot of people out here that hear you and agree. Don’t take it so personally- this is BoingBoing, not CNBC.
    That poem was out of line.

  83. Wish we had a digg/reddit-like system for rating comments. I’d digg every KeithIrwin post in this thread.

  84. Just as a personal comment on the whole ‘the headline isn’t literal truth’ thing and maybe a suggestion for future reading. Whenever I read, “ the internet”, I don’t tend to take it too seriously (and then add in the ‘God told me meme’). Admittedly with Palin, I wouldn’t have to stretch my credulity to imagine her actually trying to sue “the internet”, but I’m not surprised that it isn’t literally true either. And it did make me smile to read it.

  85. I understand that Boing Boing is not the BBC but Keith Irwin does have a point. I support him on this one.

  86. Okay that last comment would have made a lot more sense if my use of punctuation didn’t filter out the key part of the second sentence, sigh.

    I tried to write,
    Whenever I read, “[someone] [verbs] the internet”, I don’t tend to take it too seriously.

    The internet itself has both it’s serious and humurous side :)… (and maybe some day, it’ll teach me to use the preview button too)

  87. Keith’s criticism of the headline was fair, well-supported and well-stated. He’s right, it doesn’t read like deliberate exageration.

    Xeni, can you weigh in? Did you mean the headline as a joke, or as straight fact? There’s no shame in a joke that doesn’t quite work. A headline like that would work as a joke on The Onion, because there you have a farcical context that tells you that ALL the headlines are jokes. BoingBoing is a different context.

    There is also the challenge of trying to be out-farce Sarah Palin herself. So much of what she actually says and does sounds like an Onion headline. I think one reason the headline seems like it’s meant to be straight is because it’s such a small stretch from reality.

    I think people are being unfair to Keith in this thread. I think he’s right to feel a little fed up with BoingBoing forums. It appears to me that quite often on BoingBoing, commenters who have a contrary opinion are less tolerated when they make the point with logic and good grammar. Rule of thumb seems to be: if you want to disagree with the crowd here, keep it short, sloppy and call someone a name, so that you seem like a goofball rather than a critic.

    I agree with the post that was there an hour ago but now seems to have been removed, in which the commentor said Antinous the moderator is condescending. Yes, he often is. I’ve complained to him about his approach before.

    Sorry if that’s too negative. I like BoingBoing and feel at home with most of the moderators and commenters. But the thread is a good example of how the conversation seems to be sinking into what you find on so many ordinary sites. I somehow expect better at BoingBoing.

  88. It would be regrettable if BoingBoing lost the truth that Keith Irwin contributes. I hope he will reconsider.

  89. I didn’t have any trouble understanding the headline, interpreting the stylistic flourish and sensing the nuance. Why is that, do you suppose?

    1. Writers use non-literal speech – irony, hyperbole, metaphors, etc. The problem isn’t the writing; it’s your comprehension of it. If you can’t tell the difference between literal and figurative speech, I’m sorry, but please don’t expect the BB editors to change their writing styles to accommodate you.

  90. It appears to me that quite often on BoingBoing, commenters who have a contrary opinion are less tolerated when they make the point with logic and good grammar. Rule of thumb seems to be: if you want to disagree with the crowd here, keep it short, sloppy and call someone a name, so that you seem like a goofball rather than a critic.

    That’s often been my experience here…. that is, when my own unrepentant bitchiness didn’t call down the gods on my own head.

    Keith Irwin, don’t leave. The Boingers don’t always like dissensus, especially when it’s got a bit of edge and fire, as your posts above do. There are some family-style relationships and politics here that are difficult to navigate: it feels a bit like trying to join a club whose members all know each other, and who’ve decided that not too many more people can join…. but so what? You can have your own piece of BB too!

    Oh, and cite Wikipedia. That will turn you into a BB Rockstar, stat!

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