Doll, haunted, $22.49

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38 Responses to “Doll, haunted, $22.49”

  1. TheBlessedBlogger says:

    What kind of monster writes something like that? Manipulating people, especially sexual abuse victims, to make a buck is pure evil. Nothing is haunted about these items but I wouldn’t want one in my home. I don’t want anything touched by these sickos and their negativity and greed around my family. They should be ashamed and I hope they get what they deserve.

  2. Xopher says:

    Ah, Susanna…I suppose you can’t be credited with inventing “horror journalism,” exactly…

    I agree, as I often do, with Buddy66. Not only is the con artist who invented all this garbage a sick son (or daughter) of a bitch, but…typing all in caps is just plain antisocial. In a way, it partially cancels out. I read enough of it to agree with Buddy66, then my eyes just slid down to the next bit of civilized text.

    I have no doubt that some dumb fuck will buy it for much more than it’s worth…which is to say, they’ll pay money for the damned thing.

  3. IamInnocent says:

    “I do feel a connection with all the abused little girls of the world. May I buy that doll? No need to deliver, I’ll pick it up… AND SHOVE IT UP YOU ASS SO FAR THAT YOU’LL BE HAUNTED BY HORRIBLE BREATH PROBLEMS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR DECEDENTS TOO, UP TO THE SEVENTH GENERATION.

    Thank you.”

  4. Xopher says:

    Keith 7: I’d be weary of any fish I bought off eBay, but especially the carp.

    I think it’s a law of the universe that whenever you post making fun (even very gently as you do here) of someone else’s typo, you inevitably make one yourself. So I’m sure I’ll make one when I point out that you’ll certainly be weary of the fish (and houseguests) after three days!

    There’s a joke somewhere here involving carpe diem and caveat emptor, but I can’t quite find it. “Caveat carptor,” maybe? Let the seizer beware?

    Especially on the Ides of March?

    OK, now I’m just free-associating. I’ll stop there.

  5. demidan says:

    I used the carp on purpose instead of Crap,,,because carp is both. (Though in all honesty my spelling can be quite poor)

  6. wolfiesma says:

    Didn’t anyone else read those horrid books in the “Flowers in the Attic” series when they were growing up? I’d say maybe the author/artist/provocateur responsible for this piece of, er, work was possibly shooting for something along those lines and ended up in a pile of poo-poo instead. Too bad. The photo and the idea of a haunted doll with a backstory is actually kind of cool…

  7. moonandstarlite says:

    I have lots of haunted dolls. Most are posted on flickr. Some are very active!!! I think they attract more ghosts too so I keep empty vessels around in case anyone want to stay. They move, turn lights off and on, cry, move objects, snuggle, turn- even on doll stands, turn heads or move other body parts, touch me, visit me in dreams, giggle. There are phantom blurs and apparitions. I enjoy their company, it wouldn’t feel like home without them.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Ok! OK! I believe you – just stop shouting at me!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Is this a form of viral advertising for the upcoming ‘Orphan’ film?

  10. Mattz says:

    I remember the old ones of these from way back in the day, like the Ghost in the Jar, the Haunted Painting and that terribly creepy doll that looked like it had been rescued from a fire/nuclear holocaust.
    I also have a nice puppet harlequin thing here that I got as a prop for something I’m planning later on. It’s a nice piece of work, but it’s creepy as hell to look at. So I did the only sensible thing: I made it creepier by adding a blindfold. Now it has to sit on top of my bookcase, on it’s back facing the ceiling so I don’t have to look at it while I’m trying to sleep. It’s by no means haunted, but by the time I’m done with it, my friends will be having nightmares about it.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I can’t believe noone has said it. “Another creepy doll, that always follows you.” Anyone?

  12. Anonymous says:

    Cool photo of the doll Jenna! And who is to really say if the doll is really haunted or not.. one way to always find out is to buy the doll, and if the doll is haunted, Awesome! If not, still pretty doll. I’ve bought several Haunted dolls from ebay myself in the past, and they are real haunted dolls and I’m glad I bought them. I’ve had paranormal or haunted type activities mainly in my room where I keep my dolls. They are my family, I love them all! Most are sweet in nature, I’ve a possessed doll, he’s interesting & seems playful from what activities I’ve seen. Well, enough of that I guess. I know I will NEVER get rid of my haunted dolls, and could never have enough of them for that matter. ;)

    ~Infernal Darkness 666~

  13. rose bush says:

    wow that grandma sure had a wicked large collection of haunted dolls inhabited by the positive spirits of little grrrls who had tragic lives. let’s not forget about auntie celeste either – with her collection of fae jewelry and fae statues. wonder what they both think of all of their haunted items being hawked for pennies on the interwebs of ebay. hmmmmmmm

    hope their spirits don’t come back to haunt the seller.

    (who in my personal opinion indeed is one effed up gatsu piedi)

  14. Xopher says:

    Not ringing any bells, Anonymous 16.

  15. Ian70 says:

    @16 Sorry for being late to the party with the Creepy Doll reference. I’m usually the one posting JoCo lyrics.. I’ve just been busy today.

  16. Ian70 says:

    @17 I believe this link will ring your bell:
    http://bit.ly/I3JE8

  17. buddy66 says:

    #7,

    I’m glad you’re Anonymous.

    Wanna go for Incommunicado?

  18. arkizzle / Moderator says:

    ^^
    Zing! :D

  19. demidan says:

    Thanks Xopher

  20. eviladrian says:

    Woo, I’m Internet Famous!

    The Haunted Doll meme started off as a version of the Bottle Imp story, where the cursed doll kept returning when thrown away, but could be sold to a willing buyer, but somewhere along the line it turned into a selling point. I guess you’re buying the story.

    “Jenna” was just the first link I clicked, but the lurid tone seems to be standard for these items.
    e.g. Mena
    MENA WALKED TO SCHOOL LIKE SHE ALWAYS DONE. SHE LIVED ONLY A COUPLE OF BLOCKS AWAY FROM HER ELEMENTRY SCHOOL. WHEN A GROUP OF OLDER KIDS CAME UP BEHIND HER. THEY GRABBED HER BACKPACK FROM HER, SHE STARTED SCREAMING FOR HELP, THEN ONE OF THE KIDS GRABBED HER AND PUT THIER HAND OVER HER MOUTH. THE KIDS POURED HER BELONGINGS OUT ON THE SIDEWALK, AND TOOK HER MONEY. THEN THE ONE HOLDING HER PUSHED HER INTO THE ROAD INFRONT OF A CAR. THE CAR DIDNT NOTICE HER AND HIT HER ON ACCIDENT. THE KIDS SCRAMBLED AWAY. MENA DIED INSTANTALLY.

  21. Anonymous says:

    I half expected the description to read, ‘BID ON THIS ITEM NOW OR JENNA WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AT MIDNIGHT AND KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!’

  22. Anonymous says:

    Let me see. Do these “haunted dolls” fit under my classification of “sad dolls”. Not really, but they deserve a footnote. Most excellent find.

  23. Xopher says:

    Anonymous 7, I note you say “a” girlfriend. Clearly not your girlfriend anymore. If you did something like that to me, I’d never speak to you again. Even if we were just friends; if we were in a relationship when you did it…wow, I don’t know what I’d do, but one thing’s for sure: you would not laugh about it. Ever.

    Ian7o, actually…still no bells. Never heard of the guy before. He’s obviously a New Yorker though…who else would have heard of Soterios Johnson?

    Oh wait! He’s the Code Monkey guy! Yeah, he’s pretty good. Never heard that song though.

    Demidan…sure, but what for?

  24. Xopher says:

    EvilAdrian, you are one sick fuck.

  25. Xopher says:

    Arkizzle! You’re a Moderator! I just noticed that. Congratulations!

  26. eviladrian says:

    @Xopher: Steady on, mate! I’m not the one selling these dolls.

    I’m not sure if the seller’s fixation on abused children is some kind of cry for help or just a cynical ploy to sell thrift-store toys at a premium. Poe’s Law strikes again.

  27. skeletoncityrepeater says:

    I noticed, or saw on a funny blog like Everlasting Blort or Sensible Erection, ‘haunted’ merchandise for sale years ago, and now I just search that word, minus ‘doll’… It’s like the ‘religious potato chip’ phenomenon, people actually bid on these things for amusement. Search ‘haunted’ by itself on Ebay, if you dare…

  28. Anonymous says:

    I don’t believe in it, but at the same time, I wouldn’t want that doll in my house.

  29. Secret_Life_of_Plants says:

    See, now I am a girl (woman) and if my boyfriend did what #7 did, I would think that was really funny. But then again I do not believe in evil teleporting Cabbage patch dolls.

  30. ParanormalWitch says:

    Greetings I am ParanormalWitch, that story on the doll Jenna is a sad one. I do believe in haunted dolls & other haunted items. Though also one must be careful they’re not buying a fake haunted doll. I won a haunted doll on ebay this past Friday afternoon. And she is very haunted, I have not received her yet though. I don’t fear the haunted doll at all, I absolutely Love her to death! Anyhow, the next morning after I won the doll, I was in bed & had closed my eyes. Wasn’t asleep though just closing my eyes, & then I hear a female voice calling out my name & telling me to take the black stuff off. Didn’t make any sense to me at the time, I thought what black stuff? I’m not wearing anything black now. The next day or so I messaged the seller of the doll, told him about the voice telling me to take off the black stuff. The seller told the woman that was packageing the doll to be shipped to me about the voice I heard. The woman finally asked if he wanted her to take off the black stuff off the doll’s face. He told her no & to let me, the new owner of the doll take the black stuff off the doll’s face. I think that is so wild. Though made the mistake of telling my mom what I heard & about the doll. My mom of course got creeped out & told me she does not want the doll in her house. Tough luck on her, I will have that doll anyhow, I love her & Emily the doll needs to be loved & she needs a friend. I’m an adult & will have what I want that makes me happy. And Emily sure does make me happy, even if I don’t have her yet. I will soon though. I love haunted everything & possessed items I love too. Keep up the great haunt ebay sellers. I Love ALL spirits both good & evil. My fave are the evil ones though, but Love them ALL! Hugs to ALL spirits! I Love you Emily Ghost! You are very pretty Emily & I am honored to have you in my life.

  31. demidan says:

    There are MANY “Haunted” items on ebay most of it costume jewelry. I call shenanigans on a $50.000 Ring item #280363421426 (and any other carp sold to the Faithful idiots.

  32. buddy66 says:

    What kind of sick son of a bitch could write that copy?

    “…for a little bit of money.”

    –Sheriff Marge

  33. HeruRaHa says:

    PT Barnum, eat your heart out…

  34. Anonymous says:

    “Due to the fact that paranormal item or items are involved in this sale, I am ‘forced’ by Ebay’s rules and regulations to make the following statement: this is for entertainment purposes only.”

    Yea. Very, er, entertaining.

  35. Jarvik7 says:

    They forgot the part that goes “Forward this message to 30 people or she will come out of your closet to rape and kill you”.

    How can you be both courageous and afraid to escape at the same time?

  36. Anonymous says:

    Five years ago, while showing a girlfriend of mine at the time the “haunted dolls” on eBay, we came across one that for some reason shook her. It was just a ratty Cabbage Patch style doll that didn’t even have clothes and the only thing creepy about it was a sort of burn that had melted a small patch of it’s plastic by it’s eye.

    She went home, and I ordered it without telling her. It arrived, and the next time I was at her house, I tossed it on the floor of her closet just before I left.

    She called me two days later from her sidewalk, as she had fled the house.

    They’re worth purchasing.

  37. Keith says:

    I call shenanigans on a $50.000 Ring item #280363421426 (and any other carp sold to the Faithful idiots.

    I’d be weary of any fish I bought off eBay, but especially the carp. ;)

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