Dingbat dictatorship in Belarus invents magical anti-cancer pockets for school uniforms

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28 Responses to “Dingbat dictatorship in Belarus invents magical anti-cancer pockets for school uniforms”

  1. Little John says:

    Oh, yeah, Belarus. I just read about that government relatively recently:

    This article from SwissInfo.ch reports about deciding to keep Belarussian children from visiting Switzerland.

    Belarus President Alexander Lukashenko has threatened to cancel the trip after fearing some children would not want to come back home.

    Goerlich-Koch’s charity is among around a dozen that invite the children every year. They do not get specific treatment for radiation illnesses, but they do receive vital vitamin courses and dental care that is denied to them at home.

    And just a few weeks away from the dangerously high levels of radiation they are normally exposed to are enough to help reduce the concentrations in their bodies.

    Yep, Belarus is all about the children’s well-being.

  2. Cicada says:

    I predict it will also prevent tiger attack.

  3. eustace says:

    The electromagnetic radiation is not the problem. Anyone who drives busy streets knows that the problem is the Stupid Rays mobiles give off. Tinfoil is useless against this threat – stomping on them repeatedly works, though.

  4. Anonymous says:

    If it’s a faraday cage, then it will work, but will also reduce reception of texts/calls while in the pocket. Hey, maybe it will also cut down on interruptions in class. That’s its real purpose!

  5. Chrs says:

    I’m a skeptic with regards to the problems of cell phone EM radiation, but honestly, it’s not going to hurt much.

    I mean, as long as they explain what it’s actually doing, with wavelengths that the pocket is intended to block and whatnot, you could make a pretty interesting science lesson of it.

  6. Antinous / Moderator says:

    In authoritarian Belarus, tin foils you.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Um, no, according to the FP article this is just something some textile company came up with. No word on any official interest.

  8. Halloween Jack says:

    The former Soviet republics have been kind of boring ever since Turkmenbashi died and the furor over Borat died down. Good news, everyone!

  9. Anonymous says:

    “Belarus, the last authoritarian regime in Europe”

    LOL!

  10. gramiq says:

    What a great pocket to keep your RFID passport and credit cards in!

    Want!

  11. AnneH says:

    There are pouches made of fabric that claim to block cell phone signals-
    http://www.spyreview.co.uk/2008/01/02/phone-signal-blocking-bag/
    I imagine the shirt pockets will use similar fabric.

    I suspect that ‘protection from radiation’ is an excuse. I am a teacher, and student cellphones are a huge distraction. Requiring students to put cell phones in signal shielding pockets sounds fantastic to me.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Let’s get this right, In authoritarian Belarus, kids actually have mobile phones??? Cuba has only very recently said it will lift restrictions on mobile phones yet they’ve been available in Belarus all this time. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO! I’m not surprised none of you mentioned this…

  13. Lord Xenu says:

    They waterboarded a puppy?

  14. Anonymous says:

    Yum, I love Hot Pockets.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Isn’t a cell phone only transmitting EMF when it’s actually in your hands? How the hell can it be an electromagnetic danger when it’s sitting in an unlined pocket when all it can do is receive radio waves? WTF?

  16. eustace says:

    It both receives and transmits, even when it isn’t receiving a call. It stays in touch with the towers that are in range. That’s why the clock is so accurate; it’s constantly being updated.

  17. membeth says:

    Antinous, you nearly made me snarf :)

  18. dinosaurvictrola says:

    cantilevered underpants anyone?

  19. Anonymous says:

    They’ve got friggin’ Chernobyl and they’re worried about cell phones. Brilliant.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Gotta admit, this post sounds a little ignorant and reactionary.
    Sure, it’s great shine the light on a corrupt government, but why talk about something that is such an unknown?
    So much is yet to be known about cel phones’ effects on the body. Unless you have some definitive evidence from the future, statements like that lower the standards of discourse.

  21. presterjohn says:

    I employ a simpler solution to this supposedly tin foil hat minded concept:

    I don’t let my kids have cellphones, and I won’t until they are almost adults.

    Even if it turns out that exposure to cellphone EMF has no harmful effects, I’m gambling the net outcome is still positive.

  22. ETurrettini says:

    There was no place as hard hit by Chernobyl as Belarus. The exposure to it’s radiation caused a widespread rise in cancer, congenital malformations and illnesses. Authorities are only thinking of protecting their children.

    There have been other protective clothing concepts against cell phone radiation since as early as 2002: male underwear, “mummy wraps” for pregnant women, dress shirts, caps, smart pants and even a Dockers’models with anti-radiation-lined pockets

    http://www.textually.org/textually/archives/2009/08/024237.htm

  23. Anonymous says:

    I’m told by the Belarussian guy in the next cubicle that this is a completely predictable action by the Belarussian government.

    Apparently, the Belarus population was so devastatingly ravaged by the Chernobyl disaster that their fear of anything relating to any sort of radiation is perfectly justified.

    When I was a kid, we adopted a puppy from the pound that lived his entire life in fear of water. How funny is a puppy that’s afraid of water? It’s as funny as a puppy that’s been tortured and almost drowned before he was rescued.

    The Belarussian fear of any and all radiation isn’t funny. It’s a tragedy.

  24. Rindan says:

    As much as I loath Belarus, if you are going to try and put on the benevolent authoritarian dictator do-it-our-way-or-we-shoot-you-and-make-slaves-of-your-family ;) hat, this is the way to do it. If they are really making the kids stick their cell phone into a Faraday cage, it will keep class rooms free from cell phone distractions. Of course, I would probably be okay with annoying cell phone distractions if I got something useful in return, you know, like a liberal democracy and freedom from being terrorized by secret police. But hey, I am an old fashion liberal, so shoot me… preferably figuratively.

  25. Anonymous says:

    Belarus, the last authoritarian regime in Europe

    For the benefit of readers who might confuse the EU with the European continent: Belarus is not part of the EU.

  26. mstoddard says:

    So, no tin foil in the microwave. How about a microwave in tin foil?

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