Chip Rowe's essays

Today, while researching zines for the book I'm writing about the DIY movement, I came across the website of an old pal, Chip Rowe. (In the late 80s and early 90s I swapped a subscription to bOING bOING for a subscription to his zine, Chip's Closet Cleaner).

Chip's website has a lot of his old essays, which are great fun to read. One, called "Don't Blame Me!" has examples of dumb lawsuits. Excerpt:

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These days people look for warning labels on everything. When one guy failed to negotiate a milkshake and his steering wheel and crashed his car, he sued McDonald's. Where was the label on the shake, he asked, warning him not to slurp and drive? A student who fell from a window while mooning passersby sued the university because it hadn't posted a caution sign. (Here's my suggestion: "NO ASSES BEYOND THIS POINT.") A bowler who slipped on popcorn sued the alley for $50,000 for not having "watch-for- kernals-on-the-floor" warnings – which could have been placed besides the "don't-drop-the-ball-on-your-foot" sign.

I kid you not: One guy who munched into a Peanut M&M that didn't have a peanut sued the candymaker because he bit his lip. A party guest who tripped over a dog in a kitchen sued the dog's owner for failing to inform him that he would be walking in the house "at his own risk." An elderly woman who injured her hands while trying to turn on the lights demanded the maker of the Clapper give her $50,000. I applaud her ingenuity.

Chip Rowe's essays