Comments on: Coital "model" machine used in condom study http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html Brain candy for Happy Mutants Fri, 24 May 2013 10:59:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Nadreck http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569607 Nadreck Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569607 So, <b>that's</b> what was under the hood of Duran Duran's machine in <i>Barbarella</i>! So, that’s what was under the hood of Duran Duran’s machine in Barbarella!

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569626 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569626 I wonder if they would've gotten different results if they had more positions. This looks like straight-ahead sex. Condoms have a tendency to break when you shift positions too. I wonder if they would’ve gotten different results if they had more positions. This looks like straight-ahead sex. Condoms have a tendency to break when you shift positions too.

]]> By: Ernunnos http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569638 Ernunnos Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569638 "...a single predominant mechanism of failure we named 'blunt puncture,' where the tip of the thrusting male penis progressively stretches one part of the intact condom wall until it ultimately breaks." So what you're saying is... condoms break when stretched? These researchers are clearly brilliant. They've figured out a way to spend years getting paid to discover the obvious. The stockholders are getting fucked as hard as that machine. “…a single predominant mechanism of failure we named ‘blunt puncture,’ where the tip of the thrusting male penis progressively stretches one part of the intact condom wall until it ultimately breaks.”

So what you’re saying is… condoms break when stretched?

These researchers are clearly brilliant. They’ve figured out a way to spend years getting paid to discover the obvious. The stockholders are getting fucked as hard as that machine.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-570663 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-570663 How do you re-use a condom? Turn it inside out, and shake the F*&k out of it... How do you re-use a condom?

Turn it inside out, and shake the F*&k out of it…

]]> By: cosanostradamus http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569642 cosanostradamus Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569642 . Coital Model? As Dave Barry would say, great name for a rock band. And the first album could be "Blunt Puncture." Or vice versa. Actually, I used to go out with a coital model from the Valley. And we broke up over blunt punctures. Just a coincidence, prolly. Normally, I can predict <a href="http://blog-me-no-blogs.blogspot.com/2009/08/cosanostradamus-predicts.html">these kinds of things...</a> . .
Coital Model?

As Dave Barry would say, great name for a rock band. And the first album could be “Blunt Puncture.”

Or vice versa.

Actually, I used to go out with a coital model from the Valley. And we broke up over blunt punctures. Just a coincidence, prolly.

Normally, I can predict these kinds of things…
.

]]> By: Daemon http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-570410 Daemon Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-570410 I know a few people who'd be interested in getting their hands on this machine. I know a few people who’d be interested in getting their hands on this machine.

]]> By: TEKNA2007 http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569647 TEKNA2007 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569647 <i>I've had a condom break before. Luckily it wasn't at a "crucial" moment, but still a bit of a shock.</i> It's not hard to miss, because it instantly feels ten times better. I’ve had a condom break before. Luckily it wasn’t at a “crucial” moment, but still a bit of a shock.

It’s not hard to miss, because it instantly feels ten times better.

]]> By: technogeek http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569658 technogeek Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569658 Hmm. So I guess this partly explains why the manufacturers tell users to leave a bit of a gap at the tip -- more space before it has to start getting stretched out. Breakage occurs, but that's figured into the 97%-or-whatever-it-is effectiveness rate claimed for condoms. Everything is compromises. What I'm wondering is what failure modes the female condom is subject to. Hmm. So I guess this partly explains why the manufacturers tell users to leave a bit of a gap at the tip — more space before it has to start getting stretched out.

Breakage occurs, but that’s figured into the 97%-or-whatever-it-is effectiveness rate claimed for condoms. Everything is compromises.

What I’m wondering is what failure modes the female condom is subject to.

]]> By: dodi http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569659 dodi Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569659 I'm with you Rajio. My brain went into a skid at "returns." Did any of you with breakage think, "Damn, I better return this defecting product." I’m with you Rajio. My brain went into a skid at “returns.”

Did any of you with breakage think, “Damn, I better return this defecting product.”

]]> By: Lloyd http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569674 Lloyd Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569674 Is it single? Is it single?

]]> By: David Pescovitz http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569690 David Pescovitz Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569690 Yay! As expected, the comments didn't disappoint. I love you all. : ) Yay! As expected, the comments didn’t disappoint. I love you all. : )

]]> By: JPW http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569691 JPW Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569691 BoinkBoink.net? . . . . BoinkBoink.net? . . . .

]]> By: Praline http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569693 Praline Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569693 Durex averages three bust condom returns a week. Imagine the lucky employee who gets to deal with those little bundles of biohazard. I wonder what motivates people to return their penile mischief. Is it truly all in the name of progress? Or do they think they're establishing an alibi of some sort for the worst case scenario? Durex averages three bust condom returns a week. Imagine the lucky employee who gets to deal with those little bundles of biohazard.

I wonder what motivates people to return their penile mischief. Is it truly all in the name of progress? Or do they think they’re establishing an alibi of some sort for the worst case scenario?

]]> By: Fang Xianfu http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569440 Fang Xianfu Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569440 For science! For science!

]]> By: JPW http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569702 JPW Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569702 And like I've always said, a broken condom isn't inconceivable. . . . And like I’ve always said, a broken condom isn’t inconceivable. . . .

]]> By: mdh http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569449 mdh Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569449 it's pneumatic! it’s pneumatic!

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569453 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569453 In one of his stand-up routines, Bill Maher says condoms are the most reliable device since the toaster, and calls breakage BS. Just an excuse for getting drunk or lazy and using nada. I've always assumed he was right on the money..... In one of his stand-up routines, Bill Maher says condoms are the most reliable device since the toaster, and calls breakage BS. Just an excuse for getting drunk or lazy and using nada. I’ve always assumed he was right on the money…..

]]> By: Rezpect http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569454 Rezpect Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569454 Well, duh. Well, duh.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569710 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569710 From the shop durex website FAQ 7.3 For reasons of hygiene we cannot accept returns where the packaging has been opened or the Product has been used. This just gets better and better! Alex. From the shop durex website FAQ

7.3 For reasons of hygiene we cannot accept returns where the packaging has been opened or the Product has been used.

This just gets better and better!

Alex.

]]> By: Charlie Lesoine http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569463 Charlie Lesoine Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569463 Blunt puncture = Not enough lube Blunt puncture = Not enough lube

]]> By: Halloween Jack http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569719 Halloween Jack Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569719 This, folks, will be looked back upon as the true beginning of the end: not when Skynet went online, not when some AI managed to hack around the Asimovian Laws firmware, but when some well-meaning fool put two fucking machines together and they realized that they didn't need us for <i>anything</i>. This, folks, will be looked back upon as the true beginning of the end: not when Skynet went online, not when some AI managed to hack around the Asimovian Laws firmware, but when some well-meaning fool put two fucking machines together and they realized that they didn’t need us for anything.

]]> By: WombatSam http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569976 WombatSam Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569976 One of my concerns about condoms when I first used them was that a trapped pube might tear the latex, and I can't help noticing that this machine is entirely hairless. Wouldn't it be better to include all the variables? I suppose a hairy version would be even harder to explain to the investors. One of my concerns about condoms when I first used them was that a trapped pube might tear the latex, and I can’t help noticing that this machine is entirely hairless. Wouldn’t it be better to include all the variables?

I suppose a hairy version would be even harder to explain to the investors.

]]> By: Crispinus211 http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569468 Crispinus211 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569468 Did they give the model a nickname, I wonder? Did they give the model a nickname, I wonder?

]]> By: dmoisan http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569724 dmoisan Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569724 Doesn't anyone (Cory?) remember the copulation machine in one of Robert Anton Wilson's novels? The one whose phallus came from a transgendered woman? That machine is virtually identical in conception, just as RAW wrote it! (It's been far, far too long since I've reread him but to say that memory comes to the fore is an understatement!) Doesn’t anyone (Cory?) remember the copulation machine in one of Robert Anton Wilson’s novels? The one whose phallus came from a transgendered woman?

That machine is virtually identical in conception, just as RAW wrote it! (It’s been far, far too long since I’ve reread him but to say that memory comes to the fore is an understatement!)

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569469 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569469 Blunt Puncture...dibs on using it for a band name. Blunt Puncture…dibs on using it for a band name.

]]> By: sabik http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569472 sabik Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569472 "male penis" — is there any other kind? “male penis” — is there any other kind?

]]> By: Tdawwg http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569474 Tdawwg Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569474 In related "breaking" news: John Dillinger's penis has been found. In related “breaking” news: John Dillinger’s penis has been found.

]]> By: hokano http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569475 hokano Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569475 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86Cji6uDTQc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86Cji6uDTQc

]]> By: mrsomuch http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569477 mrsomuch Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569477 do you think it goes up to 11? do you think it goes up to 11?

]]> By: Rajio http://boingboing.net/2009/08/19/coital-model-machine.html#comment-569478 Rajio Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-569478 <b>RETURNS?!</b> RETURNS?!

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