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Policeman busted for feeding Pop-Tarts to gorillas

David Pescovitz at 8:05 am Fri, Aug 28, 2009

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A police office in St. Paul, Minnesota is under investigation for feeding Pop-Tarts to gorillas during an unauthorized after-hours tour of the Como Zoo. The cop was caught on CCTV. From MyFox Twin Cities:
Gorillapoppp Surveillance video captured the incident last January, around 2 a.m., when two zoo security guards snuck four to eight people into the zoo. Among the unauthorized visitors, was an off-duty St. Paul Cop.

The Como Zoo isn't sure if the gorillas actually ate the Pop-Tarts or not. Regardless, the gorillas appear to be doing just fine.
"Cop Investigated for Feeding Gorillas Pop-Tarts?"

David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.

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  • Gilbert Wham

    Is it noted whether or not the gorilla liked the Pop-Tart?

  • Gilbert Wham

    Oh. My bad. They don’t know. Right…

  • Anonymous

    ummmmmmm I’m about to eat a pop tart…should I be concerned?

  • Anonymous

    I live a few blocks from that zoo. It’s a great little zoo that is free (suggested donation only). I’m always impressed with the cleanliness and healthiness of the zoo with the exception of the gorillas. I’ve never seen a sadder looking bunch of animals in my life. It’s really depressing. I didn’t watch the news video so i’m not sure how they gave the gorilla a pop tart as they are behind glass. Did the security guards let them in the habitat? That’s just stupid.

  • Brainspore

    This is why big dumb apes should never be allowed to fraternize with gorillas.

  • cory

    What’s wrong with giving a pop tart to a gorilla? Was it on a diet?

  • BookGuy

    And why is THIS the police abuse that gets recorded and investigated?

  • Daemon

    The charge was Assault with a Delicious Weapon.

  • Phikus

    WHY couldn’t it have been Britney Spears? WHY!?!

  • Darren Garrison

    Because even a gorilla wouldn’t eat Britney Spears?

  • Phikus

    Ouch! ;D

  • obdan

    But what was inside the pop-tart?

  • Anonymous

    Of all the dumb, obnoxious things that cops do, this seems to be the lamest. I mean, really? Are people getting up in arms about a cop giving an obviously harmless treat to a gorilla? Beats the hell out of what the 12 year olds probably throw at them.

  • MichaelRN

    Yesyes, what flavor was the pop tart? I hope it wasn’t one of the chocolate ones because chocolate pop-tarts are so disappoint. Also, was it frosted, or plain? To not pay attention to details like this is just plain bad journalism.

    This is what you get for letting me post after working a 16-hour shift.

  • mypalmike

    Pop Tarts always trigger my gag reflex. It’s weird.

  • siliconsunset

    “The Como Zoo isn’t sure if the gorillas actually ate the Pop-Tarts or not. Regardless, the gorillas appear to be doing just fine.”

    It’s as if they know something about Pop-tarts that we do not. Something… sinister.

  • cognitive dissonance

    what does it matter that hes a cop? wouldnt the more interesting aspect of the story be, “cop sneaks people into zoo after hours?” If he’s not a vet, then why is what he fed apes of any interest, or consequence?

  • wkiernan

    I suppose some zoologist is about to explain how the high-fructose corn syrup in Pop-Tarts causes renal failure or something in Gorilla gorilla but I still feel that any cop who gives Pop-Tarts to a caged animal has got a good heart. I admire him and I hope he gets to keep his job.

  • Beverly Stayart

    If nothing else, this story gives some well-deserved publicity to gorillas confined in zoos, who undoubtedly were not harmed even if they did eat the Pop-Tarts!

  • webmonkees

    It’s only half the story here.

    The gorillas might have requested some legal representation via sign language..

    They want to know what the charges are, and why they can’t see their lawyer.

  • Zombie

    It can only be assumed that the cop was bribing the gorilla with a pop-tart because in fact the gorilla is the one really running the zoo.

    I used to work at a certain world famous zoo and to be honest – this is pretty tame compared to some of the things I saw happen.

  • Anonymous

    It’s ok though. It was a banana flavored Pop Tart

  • Jerril

    If he’s not a vet, then why is what he fed apes of any interest, or consequence?

    Because idiot guests feeding zoo animals random junk (human food or human inedible) isn’t harmless.

    Vets are NOT the only ones who can poison or choke animals, never mind zoo animals fighting diabetes from being kept relatively inactive in an enclosed space… or the various primates who develop a nicotine habit after being tossed cigarette butts.

    You see stories periodically about a zoo bear or other animal choking to death on a rubber ball “thoughtfully” provided by an idiot guest.

  • siliconsunset

    With man gone, will there be hope for more Pop-tarts?

  • Anonymous

    I was wrong. I assumed the culprit was a drunk Paula Poundstone.

  • Anonymous

    This is the unknown sequel to IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE, right?

  • mdh

    the pop-tart is a lie

  • MarkM

    I’m not exactly sure: why this article is so notable to be posted on bb; nor, why this article is so notable that it requires comments.

  • Robert

    Try as I might, I just can’t see giving a Pop-Tart to a gorilla as malicious. Delicious, maybe, but not malicious.

  • mdh

    markm – good thing you didn’t post it on YOUR blog, isn’t it?

  • Takuan

    http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-kelloggs-pop-tarts-i76737

  • MarkM

    @mdh
    no doubt. plus, its fortunate i didn’t post any followup comments on this thoroughly unspectacular story.

  • Takuan

    http://www.walgreens.com/store/store/product/product_details.jsp?id=prod3236

  • Takuan

    http://www.seaworld.org/animal-info/info-books/gorilla/diet.htm

  • Takuan

    http://stopsocialism.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/gorilla.jpg

  • Takuan

    http://www.mydailylol.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/fat-cop.jpg

    conclusions: cops need to eat more termites and less pop tarts.

  • Avram / Moderator

    Pop-Tarts aren’t a natural part of the human diet either.

  • bobhughes

    eating a poptart wouldnt harm a gorilla. the problem is that gorilla enclosures require meticulous climate control, and poptarts are so hot they’re cool – so cool they’re hot!

  • buddy66

    A biologist guy I briefly knew (whose name I forget) wrote a book (whose title I forget) with the opening lines, “This book is about who eats what and who fucks whom.” His conclusion was that humans eat and fuck just about anything.

    However, I draw the line at Pop-Tarts for the former and gorillas for the latter.

  • Takuan

    apparently there are no Neanderthals because we ate them. Well, the editorial “we” – or in my case the royal.

  • Anonymous

    could there have been a file hidden in the pop tarts.

  • Mark Crummett

    Finally, surveillance video solves a crime, protecting a, uh, gorilla from the, uh, police. Well done!

  • Anonymous

    They’ve stopped selling Pop tarts in Australia (circa 2001 I guess) – apparently no one was buying them!

  • buddy66

    Depending on one’s opinion about Neanderthal’s genetic relationship to us, such alleged Neanderthal nom-nom was either cannibalism or the result of a successful struggle for the position of apex predator.

    I wonder if they tasted like chicken. Probably pig.

  • friendpuppy

    I thought it would have been a donut.

  • Phikus

    Yeah, next thing you know, they want a toaster and then it’s… DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!! YOU BLEW IT UP!!!

    Always best just to give them suitcases.

  • Takuan

    veal, actually.

  • Timothy Hutton

    From TFS:

    A St. Paul police officer is under investigation after entering Como Zoo, after hours, to feed gorillas a snack.

    Really? He broke in to feed the the gorillas, or did he break in to see the gorillas, and while there he decided to share his personal stash of Pop-Tarts with the Gorilla? (Don’t all cops carry Pop-Tarts, in case they see a fellow officer in need?)

    I don’t think this was a pre-meditated attempt to subvert the carefully balanced diet the Como Zoo has the Gorilla on… I think things just got out of hand ;^)

    Also, the article linked to doesn’t say who fed the Gorilla the pop-tart, it simply says one of the “visitors” was an off-duty policeman… (I know it is in the title of the article, but it isn’t supported by the piece below it)

    Will the cop NOT be charged for entering the Zoo after hours, or will the only charge be the Pop-Tart related charge? I suspect the trespassing is the crime, the feeding was just “against the rules”.

  • Takuan

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI1nPd7hezM

  • StRevAlex

    That was foolish of him. Everyone knows gorillas love toaster strudels.

  • phisrow

    Right… A primate is giving a pop-tart at 2am and they aren’t sure whether it was eaten or not…

  • demidan

    Bad Cop, no doughnut!

  • Takuan

    vegetarian dammnit!
    http://jakubjasinskiphotography.com/Western%20lowland%20Gorilla%20yawn%20%28Gorilla%20gorilla%20gorilla%29%20print%202020.jpg

  • the r kelly

    So did he have the pop tart on him in an ingenious plan to give a tasty sugary starch treat to the ape or was it just happenstance that he was carrying a crusty foil-wrapped delight?

  • shinyM

    My favorite part of the story is the secondary headline: “Zoo says Pop-Tarts are not part of
    their diet.” In case anyone may have been unclear.

    Then again, it’s one more thing in common my mom had with the zoo…

  • Anonymous

    This could have set off an unending chain of events. Obviously the cop has never read “When you give a Moose a Muffin”.

  • Anonymous

    if anyone has ever been to the como zoo, its no paradise- especially in january; small concrete and glass enclosures with little stimulation. I say let them eat Pop-Tarts…

  • Johnny Drongo

    A two a.m. zoo visit? Methinks alcohol was involved…

  • Svenski

    Big deal. We used to feed pennies to the orangutans when we were kids.

  • Jason Rizos

    The requisite indignant Gorilla pic with the article is priceless.

    “A M*%^& F^&$%-ing pop tart? Do you know I am a M*%^& F^&$%-ing Gorilla? You think I eat Pop Tarts?”

  • nanuq

    At least he didn’t taze the gorilla.