Zeitoun Book Giveaway Haiku Contest

Zeitoun Haiku Contest

By Bassam Tariq

Bassam Tariq is a Boing Boing guestblogger who is the co-author of 30 Mosques. A blog that celebrated the NYC mosques during the Islamic month of Ramadan. He lives in Harlem, NY.

UPDATE: We just got word from the Eggers camp that they will be providing us signed copies of Zeitoun! Not sure how many we'll be given for the giveaway, but will tell you all as soon as we know. Also, there's a new deadline - tomorrow, Thursday at 7 AM PST. We'll announce winners this Friday! It'll be hard to top zombie haikus, but let's try!

Zeitoun is a critically acclaimed non-fiction book written by Dave Eggers. Boing Boing has made a post on the book before. I could go on for hours on how great this book is, but have decided instead to giveaway a couple of new copies I have in my apartment. The Boing Boing crowd is an intelligent one, but are they poets?

Write a Haiku in the comments section on why you deserve a copy of Zeitoun. Aman and I will look through them and choose the top ones. We'll package them nicely and mail them out asap.

I'll be the sacrificial lamb to help get this started -

Zeitoun is his name
Rowing a boat is his game
I like arab food. 

Here's another example -

I am a bigot
Who reads Boing Boing everyday
I'm hoping to change

See? It's not that hard. I came up with these in the matter of seconds (and it shows). Let's have some fun!

Published 11:40 am Tue, Sep 29, 2009

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About the Author

Bassam Tariq is an independent filmmaker. His first feature, THESE BIRDS WALK, will be released in theatres this November by Oscilloscope Laboratories.

397 Responses to “Zeitoun Book Giveaway Haiku Contest”

  1. heyomar says:

    Something free for me?
    Think outside the butthole please.
    I know how to read.

  2. sparkdale says:

    I choose to spend time
    remembering what went wrong
    to prevent repeat.

  3. simonbarsinister says:

    A storm is brewing
    We are all terrorists now
    Stuck in wire cages

  4. SWetch says:

    Faithfully I read
    Boing Boing, in between books by
    Dave Eggers, et al.

  5. nosehat says:

    Eggers’ book looks good.
    But for haiku I’ll stay here.
    Zombie haiku rocks!

  6. SamLL says:

    The lotus blossom
    Tumbles from the highest branch
    Send me a book please.

  7. simonbarsinister says:

    Muddy reflections
    The familiar looks foreign
    In dirty water

  8. ultraswank says:

    Row row row your boat
    I’m sure this is a work of
    staggering genius

  9. JMike says:

    This was not the world
    My fiction promised to me
    Where are my jetpacks?

  10. improvgreg says:

    Flooded New Orleans
    I’d rather read about it
    Than live it again

  11. nitinraghunath says:

    This man on the boat
    Evocative of monsoons in my town
    I want this real bad

  12. simonbarsinister says:

    Mission accomplished!
    A heck of a job, Brownie…
    What didn’t go right?

  13. JoshP says:

    575 R
    books, our are writ gifted
    milkweed fuzz in hand

    haiku takes me back to middle school, and ms. whats her name, and ms. whats her names haiku…

  14. ccrighto says:

    one haiku you say?
    in return, a book for free?
    sign me up, Bassam.

  15. simonbarsinister says:

    Eggers saves people
    Eggers is a terrorist
    Eggers in a cage

  16. Anonymous says:

    Lunchbreaks are good times
    for haikus to awake
    and emerge on screen

  17. Legless_Marine says:

    Olive the rhymes left
    Can’t prevent my reading right
    Because they’re the pits

  18. sad dolls says:

    The future of print
    lying in his two big hands
    Eggers is the man

  19. mwilliamrice says:

    Hurting makes me laugh
    Not really sometimes I gaffe
    A free book for me?

  20. Cashmerio says:

    Used to row to work
    That’s when I worked at Fox News
    When I was a crab.

  21. JamesMedley says:

    have not been able
    to buy any eggers
    broke college student

  22. amalgraafstra says:

    I created this one because everyone was constantly coming to the back door of my office, far away from my desk, and complaining that I was never in:

    This is not our door
    Our door is on the west side
    Your knocks go unheard

  23. Dwokoneseus says:

    The sun is a sin
    On the sky-mouth’s bleeding tongue
    which speaks us in two

  24. simonbarsinister says:

    Lolcat in your boat
    Katrina took my capnip
    Can I haz book now?

  25. EEEE says:

    In a large book club
    Free book for me could result
    In sale of dozens?

  26. BookGuy says:

    Damn, I just ordered
    my copy from Powell’s Books.
    Nothing free for me.

  27. SoItGoes says:

    Boat and water crest
    coupled with their reflection
    looks like vagina.

  28. Paperbagwriter79 says:

    I write. Eggers helps.
    He’s pompous yes, but takes risks.
    We learn by doing.

  29. Kelly Coyle says:

    “An awesome writer,
    Eggers is,” says Yoda. “My
    Children he can have.”

  30. grimc says:

    “What Is The What” is
    what Eggers asked the last time
    Now it is just “Why?”

  31. Anonymous says:

    habeas corpus
    what’s that? i don’t speak Arab
    produce the book, the body

  32. gramsci13 says:

    His precocity
    I shall otherwise not know.
    Splash! Nor the frog’s, now.

  33. janusnode says:

    I love Egger’s books-
    I’ve read them all, except one.
    That lacuna hurts.

  34. Jack Daniel says:

    And the waters rose,
    The slick veil now washed away,
    But the band plays on.

  35. cryptique says:

    There once was a man
    Named Dave Eggers who – wait – what?
    Oh … you said “haiku”

  36. sumi says:

    with broken ankle
    walk to library not fun
    need new books to read

  37. Moriarty says:

    There is more to Hai-
    ku than just writing seven-
    teen syllables, guys.

  38. lizzi15 says:

    Librarians need
    so many good books to feed
    please give me one free

  39. The Vidiot says:

    Living in New York
    My heart wanted to return
    to save my NOLA

  40. Sukeu says:

    My canoe rock’d with
    Giggles when I heard it: “Heck
    Of a job, Brownie.”

  41. das memsen says:

    what if i happen
    to bump into eggers in
    park slope, unread? shame!

  42. davidmarcillo says:

    Zeitoun and Kathy
    Stayed strong throughout Katrina
    Now fight for a cause.

  43. The Vidiot says:

    Living in New York
    My heart wanted to return
    to save my NOLA

  44. Anonymous says:

    3 lines at a time
    my heart beats through this lens
    you know that book is mine

  45. Anonymous says:

    Hi, I’m a hero
    If I read Dave Egger’s book
    It will be of use

  46. Anonymous says:

    starships and swordfish sing in the rain
    reactive ants wend their way too
    sometimes mean & forever
    with lust

  47. blackcatespresso says:

    The pulpy smell of
    McSweeney’s books lures one to
    their creativeness.

  48. elliotharmon says:

    I used to work at
    Dave Eggers’ nonprofit. I
    think I saw him once.

  49. The Vidiot says:

    oops, i posted twice
    it was that damn flash plug-in
    crashing my browser!

  50. Day Vexx says:

    1, 2, 3, 4, 5
    I ain’t much of a poet
    at least I can count

  51. Mishal says:

    Water is paddled
    and with bail rises. The aid,
    its weak and arrests.

  52. sobreiro says:

    Send me the book, man
    Need it more
    I live in Brazil

  53. mimisurprise says:

    Hi, I’m a hero
    If I read Dave Egger’s book
    It will be of use

  54. sobreiro says:

    That’s a 5/3/5
    Did you see?
    a true haiku, sir

  55. asplund says:

    That book isn’t mine
    Yet, I know it longs to be,
    In my library.

  56. Zagrobelny says:

    According to the editorial review on Amazon, a guard accused Zeitoun of being a member of Al Qaeda.

    I need to read this
    to know why Al Qaeda would
    strike in a canoe

  57. Elistar says:

    I’m not a bigot!
    Well, maybe I am, but then…
    Maybe we all are

  58. Von Haus says:

    Can I have a book?

  59. shahnaz says:

    What is this you say?
    I thought Zeitoun was just food
    Now it is a book?

  60. hoffboy says:

    Many people think
    Eggers is underrated,
    But that is changing

  61. Itismemc says:

    Siting on the Pot
    My job to make something float
    Like the covers boat.

  62. shahnaz says:

    (I take my hats off to #51!)

    Zeitoun I will read
    Like a butterfly in need
    Of sweet spring honey

  63. Talia says:

    I have juggled knives
    while riding atop a yeti.
    That’s worth a book, no?

  64. martin g l says:

    On the first fall day,
    My paper reviewed Zeitoun –
    the praise fell like leaves.

  65. paboo says:

    Home sweet home no more
    Mother nature prison guard
    Weary hungry void

  66. Anonymous says:

    There once was a writer named Eggers.
    Who met a verbose group of beggars.
    In exchange for His book,
    To Haiku they took,
    In turn they received their free ledgers.

    Crap! I think I did it wrong…

  67. Casey Ryback says:

    Unemployed Man
    Infinite Jest too verbose
    Dave Eggers owes me

  68. PeteLit says:

    Water everywhere,
    But nary a drop to drink.
    Zeitoun navigates.

  69. luketheobscure says:

    Dave Eggers, you say?
    Went to the Pirate Store once.
    Best. Pirate. Store. Ever.*

    * With apologies to David Byrne.

  70. joelbass says:

    A kind, courageous
    man, Abdulrahman Zeitoun.
    And where is he now?

  71. gabius says:

    I will not waffle:
    Zeitoun defrosted my heart.
    Leggo My Eggers!

  72. cheezelady says:

    tuesday: i found my
    velocity just after
    breakfast. now, my keys.

  73. cheezelady says:

    internal ramble.
    makes me feel better that i’m
    not the only one.

  74. Tdawwg says:

    Eggers has surpassed
    his youthful precociousness:
    congrats, a great book!

  75. okalready says:

    They all felt the rain.
    It rose back to the heavens.
    Some folks swim there still.

  76. JHawk24821 says:

    winter coming soon
    I have fire, coffee, wool socks
    now I need a book

    Thanks for the opportunity, BoingBoing is full of win.

  77. burlveneer says:

    Heartbreaking genius
    with a staggering workload:
    that’s me. Give me book.

  78. celandry says:

    Where they used to say
    laissez les bons temps rouler?
    On your knees, n*****.

  79. Tdawwg says:

    Die, you fucking pigs:
    drown quick, drown slow, I don’t care.
    Yours truly, George Bush.

  80. Tdawwg says:

    The ubiquitous
    waters flood. Citizens drown:
    sad, iniquitous.

  81. Tdawwg says:

    Global warming’s first
    ruined city. A great book:
    cold consolation?

  82. That Neil Guy says:

    I have been reading
    Too many Doctor Who books
    I crave quality

  83. desipoet says:

    Afloat in syllables
    Zeitoun’s woes come ashore
    Good job, Eggers!

  84. desipoet says:

    One man’s despair
    After the hurricane left
    A nation grieves

  85. Tdawwg says:

    Sci-fi has come true.
    We’re living in the future
    now: dystopian.

  86. desipoet says:


    Camp Greyhound woes
    After saving lives by boat
    Good unfortunate man!

  87. Tdawwg says:

    Worse than all of your
    postapocalyptic dreams:
    that’s how bad we’re fucked.

  88. Anonymous says:

    I enter contests
    on numerous other sites.
    But Boing Boing has taste.


    A set of haiku?
    Probably lots of white space.
    Each post speaks silence.

  89. Schuytema says:

    Mississippi home
    Rising river claws its levees
    Must learn to paddle

  90. Anonymous says:

    A Dave Eggers book!
    And it has a short title?
    Crazypants. I want one.

  91. benbeltran says:

    It’s early morning,
    I’m feeling kinda hungry,
    Serve me some eggers.

  92. Bassam Tariq says:

    keep’em coming! this is great.

  93. ThisGuyDigi says:

    I can’t find Zeitoun
    at B and N in Park Slope.
    Didn’t try too hard.

  94. wynnj26 says:

    Hated McSweeneys,
    but adored What is the What?
    Resolve this Boing Boing.

  95. cort says:

    you, me, dave eggers:
    simple wandr’in bumpkins still
    paddling north-word

  96. talzaken says:

    Oh, Eggers. You saint.
    First a sacrificial lamb,
    Now you serve up truth.

  97. wygit says:

    Autumn is soon here
    Time for poetry and change
    If I am lucky

  98. Anonymous says:

    I live abroad.
    If you don’t chose me,
    It’s discrimination.

  99. mitchelka says:

    Katrina revealed
    fragility of normal
    we will all soon know.

  100. Ronin28 says:

    The world is cruel
    against the most innocent
    I cry

  101. Xeni Jardin says:

    Thread brims with
    sheer awesomeness of
    your haikus!

  102. mitchelka says:

    Society floats
    in such a fragile canoe.
    Storm clouds gathering.

  103. Tdawwg says:

    Floods of words pour forth,
    unflagging logorrhea:
    not water, thank God.

  104. thelittlefluffycat says:

    Spent the night before
    Katrina remembering.
    No forgetting now.

  105. Xeni Jardin says:

    Hit Wikipedia
    to brush up on the rules of
    composing haiku! D’oh.

  106. talzaken says:

    I love McSweeny’s,
    But think Eggers is a puff.
    Prove me wrong, Boing Boing.

  107. Tdawwg says:

    It’s raining haikus,
    hope that BB’s levees hold:
    poetic deluge.

  108. mitchelka says:

    As the rain drops splat
    we raise our eyes in alarm.
    What will happen next?

  109. ikegently says:

    Katrina was bad
    Racial profiling is worse
    Natural disaster

  110. amoulsolo says:

    Storm water rising
    Abdulrahman Zeitoun, help!
    Crap, bureaucracy

  111. lake placid says:

    Floods down your alley.
    Three days, got water? what else?
    A good read for me.

  112. PacoBell says:

    Number six needs work
    The lotus is aquatic
    Hence no tumbling, right? ;)

  113. frobnic8 says:

    I can afford it.
    Do not give me a free book.
    I am not worthy.

  114. TheForager says:

    You Have Lots Of Books
    Why Don’t You Give One To Me
    I’ll Love You Long Time

  115. Jupiter12 says:

    Wolf Blitzer observes:
    “So hungry, so poor, so black.”
    What did he just say?!

  116. Tdawwg says:


    Corrective haiku:
    most wonderful to see, plus
    nice botanic catch!

  117. ghostpony says:

    Once upon a time
    Chocolate city flood
    I want to know why

  118. gstott2009 says:

    Hard rains gonna fall
    Let me hope to have the book
    To give me shelter

  119. knnygns says:

    The flood changed the rules
    We took for granted back then
    Washed away our pride

  120. ikegently says:

    Brown man helping white?
    He must be a terrorist.
    (Or he had a boat)

  121. Tdawwg says:

    anyway, so this–this is
    working very well.”

  122. WizenedSage says:

    I am really nice
    Or at least so says my wife
    I deserve a book

  123. aislefive says:

    Beggars for Eggers
    Did Twain have such marketing?
    Nor Hemingway; no

  124. scaryskeleton says:

    Water floods the page
    Your fair eyes save drowning thoughts
    Letters float in white

  125. B.S.C. says:

    In a boat rowing
    He saved a lot of people
    He was arrested

  126. Tdawwg says:

    “Brownie, you’re doing
    a heck of a job,” George Bush
    said. Meanwhile, we drowned.

  127. Jupiter12 says:

    Kanye West was wrong.
    George Bush hates brown people too.
    Well, ANY non-whites.

  128. DeadWriter says:

    books, ideas, life-
    are no good if held too tight
    spring growth yields seeds

  129. Anonymous says:

    I just saw this book
    but was stuck on a sex and
    the city tour. BLAH

  130. podalien says:

    In a quest for truth,
    learning the true story of
    our nation today.

  131. charlotte. says:

    reading more eggers
    would educate me more than
    my life now without

  132. Pickle says:

    he who helps fellows
    is powerful, dangerous
    give and you get back

  133. Tdawwg says:

    The waters rise, the
    cities drown: the dead afloat.
    Homeland insecure.

  134. crazyMoppo says:

    Hiding from the news
    out from ignorance, the wind
    blows a book my way

  135. slemmy g says:

    Bush: Miserable
    Failure. Katrina AND 9/
    11? I shake my head.

  136. complicity says:

    This haiku is a
    heartbreaking work of stagger-
    ing genius. Wins!

  137. cort says:

    red-eyed wading through
    unanswered rages, and still
    four years later: drowned

  138. JordanF83 says:

    Who dat say she dead?
    My sweet N’awlins bouncin’ back!
    But we ne’er forget.

  139. crankarms says:

    My grandpa just passed
    He left me an old canoe
    Teach me to paddle

  140. jonbrenner says:

    Prep the Superdome,
    It’s time for swine flu season.
    Here we go again.

  141. dmone says:

    I ache for new reads
    My girl does ‘not love Eggers’
    I am contrary

  142. VoiceUXGuy says:

    voracious reader
    in search of new horizons
    embraces the new

  143. mypalmike says:

    I am not a poet.
    I guess I’ll just buy the book.
    And not bother entering this haiku-writing contest.

  144. Amsterdaam says:

    One, Two, Three, Four, Five
    One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six… oops
    One, Two, Three Four, Five

  145. rrot says:

    Winners determined
    By invisible duo
    Judges’ decision’s final

  146. grokstar says:

    Love to read good books
    Let Boing Boing recommend one
    Up too late reading

  147. DasBub says:

    “Bacon and Eggers”
    A guide to canoeing and
    pork, apparently.

  148. Chris Evo says:

    a conspiracy?
    Doesn’t matter any more
    don’t do it again

  149. DasBub says:

    Guy in the canoe
    isn’t steam punk enough for
    Cory Doctorow

  150. DasBub says:

    Stuck in Chinese jail.
    No canoe novel in sight.
    Portage my heart, yo.

  151. Sunny Fong says:

    Away we go as
    I am an Eggers slut so
    Dave, what is the what?

  152. Jupiter12 says:

    Ths mst b th frst
    dsmvwlld hk tht
    hs bn n bngbng

  153. DasBub says:

    My solemn promise:
    If I win a lovely book,
    I will give you half

  154. doctor_light says:

    zeitoun, a hero
    illuminating the past
    helping the present

  155. DasBub says:

    Marzipan canoe
    will be made for you, my friend
    if I win a book

  156. lazybuttons says:

    Some books rot on shelves,
    but were made for many reads.
    We practice sharing

  157. jsw says:

    no good at writing
    but excellent at reading
    (insert last line here)

  158. actualchad says:

    what is a haiku?
    can’t i just have a book please?
    i mean… WTF!

  159. That Neil Guy says:

    I spend all my cash
    On diapers, food and clothing
    I could use a book

  160. geiger_counting says:

    I ♥ W
    And get all my news through Fox.
    Care to convert me?

  161. shnikes says:

    One summer, Hell came.
    Hurricane counciousness reigns,
    dead humanity.

  162. grikdog says:

    when you’re hot you’re hot —
    when you’re not you’re not —
    but not hot and not not hot
    is a bit of a stretch

  163. kswilsonesq says:

    levees broke but there was

    no break in the man no break

    he canoed can you?

  164. yood says:

    I just student teach
    (I don’t have a salary),
    So I’d love free books!

  165. Sug4rFree says:

    I am from Scotland
    Where the hell is New Orleans
    Who is Dave Eggers

  166. samizdada says:

    the books on my shelves
    breed like hangers in closets
    but never enough

  167. SoyChemist says:

    No rights for victims
    FEMA director eats steak
    They treat us like dogs

  168. rvn says:

    I hope you’ll read this
    another shitty haiku
    one more drop in sea

  169. Billy Gay Cyrus says:

    It is late tonight
    This head throbs with discomfort
    Book please be my friend

  170. rvn says:

    the water is rising
    must go back for my books
    glub glub glub glub glub

  171. Anonymous says:

    paddle through surface
    reflections break, ripple light
    alone on water

  172. rvn says:

    millions of faces
    petals on a wet black bough
    yes i plagiarized

  173. rvn says:

    read this book aloud
    on every street corner
    the truth must be told

  174. rvn says:

    on Lake Pontchartrain
    the people live hand to mouth
    in silent poverty

  175. rvn says:

    haikus don’t make sense
    unless you read them backward
    the hat walks–silence

  176. rvn says:

    let me have this book
    and i’ll mail it to G-Dub
    when I’m done with it

  177. rvn says:

    lonely PhD
    swamped with Sartre and Camus
    needs escape canoe

  178. rvn says:

    i don’t need the book
    still have a rotary phone
    i need an iphone

  179. misformargaret says:

    I’m on a mountain
    deep in the Atacama
    please, send a new book

  180. rvn says:

    i teach high school kids
    need i say more?

  181. e--- p------- says:

    In New Orleans, they
    needed so much, and still do.
    Send a book there, please.

  182. zzzing says:

    Deep in David’s Mind
    Bizarre creatures luminesce
    Around his ego

    How ironic, the
    Succinct form of the haiku
    and then… Eggers’ prose

    Despite these insults
    I have decided that I
    really want that book

  183. harryhood says:

    I’m wasting my time
    I know these don’t have to rhyme
    But I want this book.

  184. Goorpy says:

    Staggering was sad,
    Velocity: crazy fun.
    Zeitoun will be fresh.

  185. goodpotato says:

    fond of the Boing Boing,
    lover of non-fiction, and
    greedy smarty pants

  186. ferallon says:

    Bigotry, for shame
    Judaism, my culture
    Not my religion

  187. wildeandcrazy says:

    When you smoke so much
    My lungs they hurt more and more
    The price of friendship.

  188. Maghrabi says:

    Raised in Bible Belt,
    And just moved to New Orleans.
    Want understanding.

  189. technogeek says:

    Since I do not know
    Any reason I should win
    I doubt that I will

  190. dabbondo says:

    Books are expensive
    Sometimes, books cost a hiku
    i can haz now plz?

  191. holybuzz says:

    Roofs now riverbanks
    Kingbirds call from floating trees
    News chopper hovers

  192. Cosmicamerican says:

    Cannot leave the house
    H1N1 threatening
    Bookstore out of reach

  193. Anonymous says:

    If Zen is nothing
    How Can You Charge For this book
    We should all have it

  194. MinorThreat says:

    god damn it i didnt know i wazs posting anon.. that last one is mine

  195. chris2u says:

    If you think you can
    Write better haiku than me
    You are mistaken

  196. cooperjohn says:

    BoingBoing is chock full
    of Creative Commons news.
    Send me a book, please.

  197. cooperjohn says:

    I prepare to write
    a nice haiku book review,
    but I have no book.

  198. droldham says:

    the roof is on fire
    cops dont need no water no
    let the M F burn

  199. dhighman says:

    a heart-breaking work
    of staggering genius is
    my favorite book

  200. simonbarsinister says:

    Old city, old growth
    Deep waters pour down the streets
    Revealing foul roots

  201. simonbarsinister says:

    No, better:

    Old city, old growth
    Deep waters pour down the streets
    Tearing roots away

  202. DasBub says:

    Homophony makes
    “Zeitoun” a greek comic.
    Plato would be proud.

  203. DasBub says:

    I deserve the book.
    I’m a Nigerian prince
    living in London.

  204. wooden_muffin says:

    Just spent sixteen months
    Rebuilding, still there in heart
    And mind, but broke now.

  205. dstrut says:

    Derelict and poor,
    Living on freebie pizza,
    I don’t shun handouts.

  206. DasBub says:


  207. mooch says:

    Read Heartbreaking Work
    And saw in the heavy book
    Somebody I knew

  208. Anonymous says:

    I knew a Zeitoun
    He was French Cute and Lovely
    I should read this book

  209. Anonymous says:

    No money to fix
    Bad engineering design
    Fodder for Eggers

    EK from ABQ

  210. Anonymous says:

    I don’t want your book.
    Who the heck is Dave Eggers?
    Send money instead.

  211. jonathanbruder says:

    The road takes a bath,
    inconsiderate primates,
    and you all complain.

  212. kez says:

    your mouth is moving,
    up and down, emitting noise….
    I’ve lost interest.

  213. Ella says:

    I’m from the U.S.
    But I forgot my English
    Maybe this will help?

  214. Anonymous says:

    No jazz music but
    Lots of good water skiing.
    That what it’s about?

    EK from ABQ

  215. inter_baltic says:

    Levees are broken
    Foundations washed away
    A book preserves

  216. Anonymous says:

    A Zeitoun for free…
    A Zeitgeist developing?
    One can always hope.

    EK from ABQ

  217. JPW says:

    Bet bucks to beignets

    Those armed squads would not have known

    ‘Camelback’ means ‘house.’

  218. Noelia says:

    if time loops through time
    consecrate the dearly dead
    the surf left behind

  219. The Tonic says:

    I feel like asking
    Negates one’s entitlement.
    It’s a paradox.

  220. mbrowlla says:

    The goat up my ass
    I do not know why it’s there
    It hurts very much

  221. waieez says:

    Writing Your Haiku,
    I’m gonna let you finish.
    LoLcats are watching.

  222. UnrealMamaCass says:

    Sat on the highway
    Saw a dead man down the road
    Just wanted out, bad.

  223. UnrealMamaCass says:

    This was the event
    that woke me up. In despair
    I watched from the roof.

  224. Subdrill says:

    I like Dave Eggers
    Cute girls see this on my shelf
    Everybody wins

  225. Marsha Keeffer says:

    The man in the mosque.
    The woman breaking her fast.
    I am just like them.

  226. Marsha Keeffer says:

    We abandon those
    thought “not US” – be they from the
    9th Ward or Muslim.

  227. andresfelipesv says:

    The sand-coloured page
    Sees my young, curious pupils
    Maybe I’m a book

  228. Anonymous says:

    As I write these words
    The smell of jasmine arrives
    An olfactory omen

  229. seadigs says:

    One little poem
    an entire book in exchange
    sounds like a good deal

  230. nath says:

    Living in Asia.
    Valid in US only
    haiku contests suck.

  231. Anonymous says:

    it rains on a boat
    there is a man with no hands
    one umbrella

  232. kmoser says:

    Flooding waters rise
    While my fingers turn pages.
    Damn, I want that book.

  233. DeadWriter says:

    words flow as water
    pooled in books we share and drink
    thirst never quenched

  234. Frenk Melk says:

    to enter contest
    been too long-boingboing had to
    reset my password

  235. Anonymous says:

    A lifeboat hero
    Terrorized by Bush Admin
    Zeitoun in Zeittown

  236. roryrhorerton says:

    I don’t know this book
    But I’m broke and in grad school
    Help me to look smart

  237. Yawp says:

    wrathful morning hex
    molten city spleen heaves up
    rapt disavowal

  238. AlanJ says:

    What’s this book about.
    Will I bother to read it?
    Only if it’s free.

  239. rrot says:

    Amazon click-through
    Leaves surfer unenlightened
    Book’s no use unread

  240. thisisnotatest says:

    we all deserve it
    no one deserves anything
    let me sleep now, please

  241. Anonymous says:

    What if all books were
    earned for reading by challenge
    how many would languish

  242. bed says:

    who is this eggers?
    please, can you ship it to me?
    i live in china.

  243. runwithskizzers says:

    Dave won’t give up print
    I love Eggers for this and
    Other things called words

  244. bed says:

    i must block google
    to post haiku. like i said,
    i live in china.

  245. DasBub says:

    New Dan Brown novel,
    “Templar Summer Canoe Trip”
    all time best seller

  246. Anonymous says:

    Eggers is not funny.
    Maybe nonfiction different?
    I could laugh at him.

  247. ProjectMcG says:

    Boing Boing, free Zeitoun
    and Bassam Tariq – fantastic,
    but missing zombies.

  248. Anonymous says:

    Dave Eggers is like
    David Foster Wallace but
    for the dumb people

  249. watman says:

    You there, and you, too.
    Can you not read instructions?
    That’s a SenryÅ«.

    (Mine too.)

  250. dubthach says:

    to float is to be
    leaves in the reflected clouds
    of rising water

  251. seven says:

    almost all haiku
    are about water, trees, sky
    this one cannot be

  252. Branching says:

    Fourteen dollars saved
    I will donate to Oxfam
    Benefiting all.


  253. FoetusNail says:

    Looking for bigots
    Spring’s flowers were forever lost
    Changing minds never

  254. talzaken says:

    We may craft haikus,
    Bring beauty to Boing Boing. But–
    We have crap on Eggers.

  255. Value Pack says:

    My therapist said
    This book would be good for me
    But I am flat broke

  256. Anonymous says:

    Sir David Eggers
    author of five decent books
    and one masterpiece

  257. NoahApples says:

    the wind of McSweeny’s
    You’ve bought for your fans
    a gift for me, no?

  258. mister parker says:

    I struggle at this
    count syllables on my hand
    workshop accident.

  259. Ant-honey says:

    Egyt New Orleans
    Mother Mary came to us
    Where the wild things are

  260. Anonymous says:

    Good literature
    Should not just be limited
    To the poetic

  261. Anonymous says:

    Good literature
    Should not just be limited
    To the poetic

  262. Ant-honey says:

    Make that Egypt

  263. Anonymous says:

    please give me a book
    a starving college kid that
    cant count real well

  264. dfjacobson says:

    My feet are soaked but
    cuffs are bone dry. Ev’rything’s
    coming up Milhouse!

  265. Leicentious says:

    A story that floats
    On the tears of a nation –
    Buoyant and truthful.

  266. mixonic says:

    Pixels pour in eyes
    Today in dust my brother fights
    I stare and wait, alive.

  267. phosphorious says:

    But does anyone

    Really, truly deserve a

    Book? Hell yes, I do.

  268. TheHikingStick says:

    The paddle dips low
    Nation’s promise defiled
    A book I must read

  269. kevins213 says:

    Would read Egger’s book
    but cannot seem to finish
    damn Infinite Jest

  270. secular says:

    sex is my weapon
    i’ll sheath it for this battle
    to save my keyboard

  271. Anonymous says:

    ‘the what is the what’
    oh, the heartbreak! the tears!
    sign me up for more!

  272. ChicoLaw says:

    Dave and I both write
    after losing a city
    Our words’ aim – “Zeitoun”

  273. mikealt says:

    I am so dirt poor
    Don’t own a library card
    please support the broke

  274. xian says:

    Bassam has gotten
    way more comments on Boing Boing
    than anyone else

  275. BeccaScott says:

    Zeiton means olive.
    It’s also Zaynab’s bird’s name.
    Zaynab is my girl.

  276. whiskeypony says:

    i believe eggers deserves many more

    syllables than seventeen; he’ll get twice that ’cause i’ve seen

    his stapler drawings. genius.

  277. lemonkid says:

    just waded to work
    in scummy thigh-deep water
    A green frog swam by.

  278. Anonymous says:

    Where the Wild Things Are?
    Turns out, Louisiana
    Zeitoun equals Max

  279. nerdberger says:

    the blight of flood or
    the blight of unemployment.
    help me to decide.

  280. lasttide says:

    The water rises
    The shotgun warm in my hand
    Flood zombie heads ‘plop’

  281. HMNA (Haiku Master of North America) says:

    The H.M.N.A.
    Humbly requests a copy
    Really? He needs one

  282. HMNA (Haiku Master of North America) says:

    American Dream
    Anti-American Dream

  283. HMNA (Haiku Master of North America) says:

    Chain link fences bloon
    As putrid water rises
    The autumn mace blows

  284. samizdada says:

    as drops fill buckets
    so do refugees return
    to damaged homelands

  285. MrProven3 says:

    I want to read it
    Send it to my home address
    If not, library

  286. james113 says:

    A poor student, me,
    just wants to read a free book
    about a deluge.

  287. rkimmet says:

    Bush said that Brownie
    Did a real “heck of a job.”
    I say Eggers did.

  288. MrProven3 says:

    Harriet Klausner
    already reviewed this book
    Send to me instead

  289. magicmonkeymeat says:

    Once I had money
    But sadly I went bankrupt
    Books cheer me up though

  290. driggs says:


    Begone bankrupt Bush
    Banished by brazen Barack
    Boing Boing brood beaming

  291. Fatastic says:

    My book shelves are bare,
    I am not educated
    Please, make me smarter!

  292. TheHikingStick says:

    There once was a man named Zeitoun
    Who paddled around in a canoe

    Oh, crap! It’s haiku only and not limericks.

  293. driggs says:

    Another Alliterating haiku

    Erudite Eggers
    Explains egregious error
    Empathetic ear

  294. lisandro says:

    Here in Brazil
    people are so very sad
    We all need Zeitoun

  295. DasBub says:

    As a canuck kid,
    I saw Mr. Canoe Head.
    Canoe Beard is next.

  296. Malana says:

    One hundredth in line
    at the local library
    Yes, I’m impatient.

  297. lisandro says:

    Zaitoun? Free? Really?
    Let me read some of that
    So I can be happy

  298. MrSodium says:

    Zeitoun book give’way?
    Free books make the world go ’round!
    After, pass it on.

    Eggers, you crafty
    Getting us to read your book
    By giving it free

    Word of mouth is strong
    So you know that I will tell
    And they will buy it

  299. Anonymous says:

    please give it to me
    my mom said it was very good
    let me make her proud

  300. jsdavidson says:

    wind and water and man
    blows through preconceptions of
    what it is to be

    • Antinous / Moderator says:


      The system holds heavily linked comments for inspection. Resubmitting doesn’t make any difference.

  301. Anonymous says:

    thriftiness is key
    my bank balance demands it
    free book make happy :)

  302. driggs says:

    Variation on my other one

    Begone bankrupt Brown
    Banished by brazen Barack
    Boing Boing brood beaming

  303. JuliaD says:

    Swimming through water,
    Drowning in humans. This book
    better make me float.

  304. cindileper says:

    Washed up ‘pon the shore
    His fam in a dry home no more
    Could more trouble await?

  305. Anonymous says:

    sneak me a copy
    wrap it in pink panda paper
    to read in the tub

  306. cindileper says:

    Please send me this book
    I do need to be more learned
    Bout this evil world

  307. Tdawwg says:

    Antinous @307 in haiku form:

    Links will slow you down:
    “resubmitting doesn’t make
    any difference.”

  308. jnm says:

    Unscramble the name!
    “Zeitoun” equals “Unite Oz.”
    What else does it hide?

  309. Tdawwg says:

    Louis Quinze once said,
    “Après moi le déluge.” He
    never met George Bush.

  310. itsvern says:

    Zeitoun? Amazing!
    Loaned forward, so others learn
    Now waits for movie

  311. dmalcolm says:

    Our Velocity
    is Staggeringly Genius
    when What is the What

  312. Tdawwg says:

    “Zeitoun” also says
    “Untie Oz,” but what this might
    mean I just don’t know.

  313. failix says:

    I cannot believe
    I took the time to write this
    thinking I could win

  314. michael13 says:

    Talbot Mundy wrote
    THE EYE OF ZEITOON long ago
    I want the whole thing

  315. babybull says:

    I have no Kindle
    When reading my signed “Zeitoun”
    Paper suits my needs

  316. jcartan says:

    The waters recede
    Deeper problems are revealed
    Please paddle faster

  317. ashleynorth//thewanderous says:

    all the day online
    now lacking inspiration
    unlike this haiku

  318. oboefae says:

    Hopefully this is right…

    احصل شهادة
    في اللغة العربية
    كتب يساعدون

    Now I sit waiting,
    wondering about grammar,
    hoping for a book.

  319. HiTek LoLife says:

    When the levy broke
    the chief said to his yes men,
    “Now let them eat shit…”

  320. jqpublick says:

    Zeitoun? Don’t know him.
    But is not knowing the best?
    This Egg-ers me on.

    Pun-o-rific, I know, but there you have it.

  321. ThomDowting says:


    Fingers lick at dyke
    water, water, everywhere
    No mans hands do hold


    loos’d lips siren song
    muddy water’s weight sunk ship
    bodies float

  322. jcartan says:

    Don’t pick my haiku.
    Don’t send me your canoe book.
    I’m just having fun.

  323. ZTurpin says:



  324. Anonymous says:

    Much goes on outside;
    tsunamis, town halls, unicorns …
    A book? Respite. bliss.

  325. Anonymous says:

    Anonymous post.
    Does it have a chance to win?
    Eggers’s camp decides.

  326. DasBub says:

    “My canoe is fight,”
    I cry all day and all night.
    This book is my proof.

  327. understep says:

    I have been sheltered
    Never seen true misery
    So I must learn

  328. timelyhandclaps says:

    compulsive reader
    but new to mr. eggers
    ready to start here

  329. finalist says:

    words evoke pictures
    mind to keys to screen to mind
    something … something … rats.

  330. G9 says:

    Woe the funny man
    who becomes

  331. sad dolls says:

    paper was a tree
    its all digital for me
    but not if its free

  332. Sottises says:

    Buy the book, or eat?
    Please don’t make me have to choose.
    … A starving student.

  333. valiantiris says:

    left america
    because of stories like these
    want to read more please

  334. dnman222 says:

    Fresh, sealed up package
    Unread book waiting for me–
    Words teach when their free

  335. toddelsann says:


  336. MichaelM says:

    The paddle dips deep
    In the unsettled sentiment
    And rakes up the muck

  337. LeilaLeila says:

    It’s just a flood, guys –
    I eat zeitouns for breakfast,
    and watch some Fox news.

  338. Anonymous says:

    i am a muslim
    i helped after katrina
    they put me in jail

  339. bankshot says:

    Zweitoun is lovely
    now you must read the prequel
    it is called Einstoun

  340. ManageWA says:

    Can I afford this?
    school, car, bills, rent, food and net?
    I win, or I pass

  341. FoetusNail says:

    Brook runs full in spring
    Thawing freeing hardened thoughts
    Names remain etched pain

  342. ManageWA says:

    The Syllables in
    Zweitoun? Three, I believe
    Makes competing hard

  343. emmie says:

    New muslimah needs
    U.S islamic heroes
    Not freedom from cloth.

  344. djsuflay says:

    We float through this world
    It is all so heartbreaking
    When one feels so small.

  345. TheAlexandrian says:

    Muslims on boingboing?
    Yay! We are integrating!
    Apple pie and fireworks.

  346. rvn says:

    Bush still not in jail
    Ray Nagin reelected
    We never do learn

  347. David Voss says:

    Sweet sharp smell of death.
    Your vortex of fear pulls me
    under a calm wave.

  348. rvn says:

    Eating a bag of Zapps
    The slow wait begins

  349. bed says:

    President Bush hates
    black people, an’ I’m ‘onna
    let you finish but…

  350. Anonymous says:

    Let us not forget
    What history always taught,
    The poor have no rights

  351. wooden_muffin says:

    oops! I just posted an anonymous haiku I like:

    Let us not forget
    what history always taught,
    that the poor have no rights

  352. treeflower says:

    i should get a book
    a broke college kid who cant
    count very well

  353. optuser says:

    No phone call he got
    several days with no shot
    at justice for all

  354. fieldofbutter says:

    a leaf turns to gold
    stronger breezes blow cold rain
    give me the damn book

  355. fieldofbutter says:

    I do not frighten
    at the prospect of Zeitoun
    gracing my bookshelf

  356. fieldofbutter says:

    hops, barley and malt
    essential to existence
    the hammock swings slow

  357. fieldofbutter says:

    somewhat heartbreaking
    the velocity of you
    the leaving of me

  358. fieldofbutter says:

    garden gnome aflame
    glowing fur-clad girls on bikes –
    burning man flashback

  359. fieldofbutter says:

    Jacques Derrida said
    something very meaningful
    or was it Lacan

  360. lee09 says:

    While in New Orleans
    I saw a vid about this.
    I want to read more.

  361. dhelling says:

    The pond has no walls
    Zeitoun jumps in his canoe
    Is there an echo?

  362. showcasejase says:

    A heartbreaking work
    deserves to be followed
    with more genius

  363. infidel castro says:

    the skull-cracking cirque,
    a swaggering zombie mess,
    what do we want, braaaains!

  364. Zard0z says:

    Slowly pages turn,
    She radiates happiness.
    A gift for my wife.

  365. wooden_muffin says:

    Let us not forget
    what history always taught,
    the poor have no rights

  366. gh says:

    abandoned, wasted
    like a breath upon the wind
    hands beseaching sky

  367. MrXeno says:

    scared, helpless waiting
    homes and lives washed away now
    calm muddy water

  368. wooden_muffin says:

    Left for dead for days
    Then imprisonment and now

  369. FoetusNail says:

    Coldness descended
    In the heat of the moment
    Frost in the garden

  370. adam560 says:

    I don’t deserve it
    but life isn’t always fair.
    so how about it?

  371. nath says:

    A new winter beard
    hides my frequent bookworm smirks.
    I’d rather not shave.

  372. shadie says:

    Fat woman doesn’t see me
    tells me I’m too small
    Want to punch her in the jeans

  373. timmer says:

    Eggers I know not.
    But if BoingBoing so choose,
    We’ll meet in my bed.

  374. khanson says:

    Dave Eggers is My Man
    and I want this book badly.
    Will you help sad girl?

  375. talloulahspoons says:

    Eggers non-fiction:
    bleaching out made-up tales
    with his true bold beams

  376. 45Visigoth says:

    Flooding and prison
    Not as bad as office life
    Try and prove me wrong

  377. mr.moncrief says:

    Who will judge these posts?
    Surely someone glorified
    with time apleanty.

  378. Anonymous says:

    Born to Arkansans
    Raised by a television
    Zeitoun Autumn

    -Joe Ford

  379. The Double says:

    I will not hold on
    to any book too firmly
    but I will read it

  380. kidflay2 says:

    A beard, A canoe, dog lover too.
    Literal,(‘cept last one).

  381. jengillespie says:

    May I have his book
    Dave Eggers is my hero
    Need this mind canoe

  382. Tdawwg says:

    A man, plan, canoe:
    it’s Abdulrahman Zeitoun!
    (Not a palindrome.)

  383. stanleyk says:

    What case can I make?
    I’ve read nothing else he wrote.
    I don’t deserve it.

  384. rollinmike says:

    I don’t understand
    How’s this on BoingBoing without
    Steampunk nanobots?

  385. David Weaver says:

    A McSweeneys Fan
    Remembers the time when streets
    became flowing rivers

  386. leslie999 says:

    Value of values
    A reader yearns for knowlege.
    Gift book, worthy deed

  387. Lindsay says:

    I can’t seem to figure out which Haiku won this contest?

  388. improvgreg says:

    As a proud winner, I can’t figure out how to get my address to Boing Boing. Is there a way to even get my e-mail address to you without giving it to the whole world?


  389. Plenihimun says:

    Hey, moderators!
    Signature, spam, astroturf
    and copypasta.

  390. Erin says:

    I hate Dave Eggers
    and adore at the same time
    jealous perfection.

  391. lily_reads says:

    Haikus existing
    Alongside beauty provide
    Books for hungry worms.

  392. Tanja Cilia says:

    I’d write a haiku…
    But my brain cells have withered;
    Just give me the book.

  393. Diana says:

    Crabgrass eating

    At my yard like Gizmo

    Fed after midnight!

  394. M Ludlum says:

    Is It Non Fiction? Harvard review said Fiction. Dead and drowned is real.