Silly udder pitcher


I got all the enjoyment I can get from this pitcher by looking at the photo. No need to spend $22, as the milk I buy already comes in a carton. Heffer pitcher


  1. I have this, and calling it a pitcher is a stretch. It’s really a creamer and it only stands 3 or 4 inches high.

    1. That’s udderly ridiculous.

      I came here specifically to see whether anyone had gone there. I was not disappointed. Thanks Xopher!

  2. In most cases, this is great to remind people (Udder suckers – is what i call non vegans) where there milk is coming from.

    1. Hi Anon. As mammals, many of us sucked teets as infants – you too I’m guessing.

      I am well aware of where milk comes from thanks. I am also able to handle that knowledge maturely and pragmatically without insulting the choices of fellow humans.

  3. The fact that dairy products are made from the secretions of the modified sweat glands of large hairy mammals doesn’t bother me one bit. (I’m from Wisconsin).

    And how about calling non-vegans omnivores? Most of us, as adults, don’t actually suck milk directly from udders, unless we’re on Fear Factor. What do you call the lactose intolerant non-vegans, by the way? I’m genuinely curious.

    1. And how about calling non-vegans omnivores?

      Well, only if they eat meat. I’m ovolactovegetarian, myself. I eat eggs and dairy but not meat. So I’m not an omnivore.

      Self-righteous vegans find me insufficiently pure. They want a derisive term that lumps me in with you, so they can proclaim their moral and dietary superiority over all other people. They’re just being jackholes, of course, but your inoffensive alternative will not suffice, since being offensive is their goal.

      (Btw, I don’t think I’m better than you because you eat meat and I don’t. I just think not eating meat is right for me. So many vegetarians militantly proselytize that I feel this clarification is called for.)

  4. “As mammals, many of us sucked teets as infants – you too I’m guessing.”

    Yes, you’re correct. Milk is for babies and cow’s milk is for baby cows. Tasty non-exploitative alternatives are now available if you, like me, have never been able to wean yourselves off the proverbial teat’s bounty. They will also look great in this jug and remind of of the dark days where we felt it acceptable to use and abuse animals just because we could.

    Sincerely, self-righteous vegan (and rightfully so!)

    1. Whilst our stomachs have the perfect gut flora to break down both meat and vegetables.

      I’ve lived with plenty of vegetarians (my partner of the last 3 and a bit years has only just started eating meat recently after being Vego for 13 years). But one thing I really fucking hate is self righteous vegans and vegetarians.

      Rightly so my ass.

      1. “Whilst our stomachs have the perfect gut flora to break down both meat and vegetables.”

        Yes, you’re correct, and totally missing the point. Just because we can is not to say we should. We disagree about ethics and necessity, not history or physiology.

  5. Anon, how much time do you spend each day feeding calves some kind of plant-based protein drink so that they don’t offend you by sucking their mothers’ udders?

  6. Vegetarian on it’s own does not preclude eating eggs or milk, only meat.
    There is no need to modify it.

    Though I acknowledge this may actually be a regional issue. I’m on the West Coast, you?

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