Guns 'n Gardens - How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

This is a great idea -- a show about useful DIY skills, set in a zombie apocalypse context. It reminds me a bit of Max Brooks marvelously deadpan Zombie Survival Guide.

Guns 'n Gardens


  1. Zombie Survival Rule #1
    When being chased by zombies, the best possible person to have at your side is someone you can outrun.

  2. I’ve noted that a lot of Glenn Beck-watching weapon-hoarding paranoid survivalist freakjobs are now explaining themselves with a wink and a nod with claims that they’re actually preparing for a “zombie apocalypse”. Notice how it sounds a lot better than “the coming race war”.

    1. I kind of agree. I used to love zombies, but recent developments creep me out.

      It really seems like zombies are code for, well, to my mind, any loony right wing eschatology, and a right-wing loon hoarding guns worries me no matter what absurd rationale s/he gives for the loony gun-hoarding behavior.

      Frankly, I think that “anti-zombie” militias are more dangerous than other wingnut militias specifically because they seem so innocuous. They can claim that the striking similarity between their politics is purely a coincidence, but they are no different from the wingnut militias we’ve had since the civil war. The only difference is that they have found a way to stay under the radar of law enforcement for a while.

  3. “Reminds you a bit!?!?” Is there any reason to think the it wasn’t specifically and directly inspired by Max Brooks’ book?

    1. The facts of easily breached base, use of a shotgun (deemed largely worthless in ZSG) His weapon choice is poor. He’s doomed.

  4. What is the real difference in terms of how to paranoically prepare for plague (zombie or not), genocide, or volcanic/nuclear winter?

    1. Because nutjobs preparing for volcanoes, plagues, asteroid impacts and zombie apocalypse probably wait for the big one (I’ll argue that they even picked something totally implausible so they don’t have to act on their obsession) while race war bozos can actually try to start one.

      See, here in Germany someone brutally stabbed an Egyptian woman who took him (absolutely justified, by the way) to court because he belongs in the “Muslims are a danger, take our jobs and want to enslave us”-crowd. If he’d been awaiting te Zombie apocalpyse, well, he’d probably still be watiing.

  5. This makes me so happy.

    I only wish there were some way for me to invest in the zombie bubble.

    My pet zombie theory is that the actual outbrak will be a result of viral countermeasures developed to combat a theoretical outbreak.

    But I guess it’s not too important how it happens, as long as it happens.

  6. Cuvixto- As the writer and host of this show I can honestly say that I have not read a word of Brook’s work. I only just learned his name a few days ago. The only zombie movie I’ve seen is Fido. Oh, and I just saw Zombieland too.

    I’ve hosted online DIY shows for years and decided to do an off-grid self-sufficiency survival theme, but wanted to avoid any politics related to war or terrorism or FEMA fiascos. Luckily, Zombies tend to vote independent.

  7. Katanas? Bah, these guys won’t last a week. You need something top heavy that you can use in close quarter combat like an axe, pick, kama or crow bar. Katana is great against people but zombies are gonna just walk through you if that’s the only thing you got to swing around.

  8. Crowbars trent. Crowbars. You can’t ever fail with a crowbar.

    Besides taking out zombies, you can open crates which often contain supplies. But don’t bash the ones with red letters on them, or the red barrels – they have a tendency to blow up.

  9. Thanks, now my brain is reeling from taking in both useful gardening advice (I have racks that would be perfect for that window garden, and the styrofoam tip is one I haven’t heard before) and zombie horror all at the same time. It’s giving me mental indigestion.

  10. Thanks for all the comments. Bottom line, as I quoted in the clip “Any weapon that you are comfortable killing with will do.” That includes bats, swords, Pep-Z, machettes, knives, etc…

    Shotguns are useless? Tell that to Gxaoui. Oh, you can’t. His head is gone. And my Katana (a $13 Chinatown knock-off that cuts head off like butter) has already dispatched too many undead to count.

    I have found time and time again that the problem with crowbars is the tendency to get the hook stuck in a Zombie. It gives them a brief advantage, even if they don’t always know it.

    1. I’m fascinated by that link. There don’t seem to be any articles about either gardens or guns in that magazine.

  11. You can imagine my disapointment when I found out Garden and Gun magazine was such a fluff rag. Its more like an entertaining and cuisine guide. Not a single word on zombies, guns, or survival – Just upscale deep-fried lifetyle.

  12. Shotguns useless on zombies? Naw, just use 1 oz slugs and a good red-dot scope. Good out to 50 yards or more.

    Amusing theme, and i like the they decided to keep the politics out of it. Not everybody with an interest in gardening and guns is an urban skinhead/rural reactionary wingnut waiting for the “upcoming race war”

  13. Dammit! I was going to make almost this exact movie. Oh, and it’s T-800. The 1000 was the liquid metal.

  14. So disaster preparedness = violent racist whackaloon?
    What the hell Boing Boing.
    Is your only experience with these kinds of people /k/ on 4chan?
    Most of the people I know that talk about being prepared for the zombie apocalypse aren’t using it as code for some kind of “race war”. They’re being prepared for real world, actual disaster (and also find zombies awesome).
    These people (eg, those at are some of the best kinds of people I know: they’re prepared to help others.

  15. I’d be far more likely to trust bladed weapons than guns for one simple reason… Walking corpses are unlikely to be using their internal organs (including brain), so the holes made by guns are unlikely to do much to them. It’s all about chopping them into little pieces.

  16. Hmm… well, I’m preparing for the global-warming-apocalypse… it *is* coming… oh, and robots. Gotta’ watch out for the robots…

    capcha: outsider ai… kinda’ appropriate, eh?

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