Good News from the Large Hadron Collider


19 Responses to “Good News from the Large Hadron Collider”

  1. efergus3 says:

    From an old issue of Analog:

    If it hisses and pops, it’s chemistry
    If it claws and bites, it’s biology
    If it sits there and does nothing, it’s physics

  2. Jardine says:

    I doubt anything bad will happen, but I’d feel a lot better if Gordon Freeman was there clutching his crowbar.

  3. TharkLord says:

    I’m John Titor and I approve this message.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Once they clear out all those Guitar Hero crowds, they can get down to some actual work.

  5. Sparrow says:

    My theory is that anonymous was sent back in time from March 3, 2505, to persuade us not to continue the experiment.

  6. efergus3 says:

    Have we learned nothing? “Dr. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
    Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
    Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
    Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
    Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
    Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
    Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
    Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
    Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.”

  7. cymk says:

    I’m going to guess that by “…early 2010,” they don’t mean January 1st. So we are still looking at at least a good month and a half to 3 months (if not longer) for the Higgs-Boson to train time-traveling birds to assault the LHC with lethal bakery.

  8. weaponx says:


    Both hardons collided. Operation DP was a success.

  9. angusm says:

    Higgs boson: “Damn, but these paparazzi are persistent!”

  10. spike55151 says:

    Did they invite Tom Hanks back this time or do they now consider him a jinx?

  11. justanotherusername says:

    Jardine, come on now, this is the LHC we’re talking about here. Of course Gordon Freeman is there, holding a crowbar.

  12. Alan says:

    I think it takes 3 years and a month for this event to cause the earth to implode, right?

  13. SkullHyphy says:

    Where is Ambassador Spock?

  14. Anonymous says:

    Right…let me see if I got this right…they managed to actually get the Hardon Stupid Collider to…switch on. “There, fowl bagel heaving fowl!” That’ll show you!”

    Now hey, I likes design science-I likes tech that does stuff-did you know that the paramedics compact medikit came from space research? Now that’s some good stuff. So I do a google research, trying to find spin-offs of supercolliders-something that comes back to society, and improves society. I might be wrong, but I found pretty much nothing-the one thing I did find, does not justify the billions spent on this crap.

    But hey, i’m sure some researchers are much happy about this expensive, useless albatross. I say this, and I dig science and physics and such.

  15. jfrancis says:

    I had a word with Gary Seven’s cat. She said they had to make a few 27th century modifications, but the LHC was good to go, now.

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