Comments on: Funny conversations between book dealer and customers http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html Brain candy for Happy Mutants Sun, 19 May 2013 18:48:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653575 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653575 This is hilarious. But trolling of stupid customers begins and ends with Acts of Gord. He runs a game shop in Vancouver, and he deals with lots of spoiled kids and their overprotective parents. http://www.actsofgord.com/ This is hilarious. But trolling of stupid customers begins and ends with Acts of Gord. He runs a game shop in Vancouver, and he deals with lots of spoiled kids and their overprotective parents.

http://www.actsofgord.com/

]]> By: gbmbg http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653838 gbmbg Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653838 The customers might be silly and absent-minded, but the bookstore owner is kind of a douche. The customers might be silly and absent-minded, but the bookstore owner is kind of a douche.

]]> By: JohnW http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-654353 JohnW Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-654353 Had this exchange many years ago, when I was (more of) a feckless youth: Customer: Do you have any book on bookshelves? Me: All of our books are on bookshelves. Had this exchange many years ago, when I was (more of) a feckless youth:

Customer: Do you have any book on bookshelves?
Me: All of our books are on bookshelves.

]]> By: Antinous / Moderator http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653601 Antinous / Moderator Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653601 Me: Do you buy books? Clerk: The owner's never here. And she probably won't buy anything. And if she does, she probably won't give you much money for them. Me: Do you buy books?
Clerk: The owner’s never here. And she probably won’t buy anything. And if she does, she probably won’t give you much money for them.

]]> By: ozzzzzz http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653870 ozzzzzz Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653870 I have to agree that some of these anecdotes are less than charming. The bookstore owner seems rather rude. I was particularly turned off when I read the account of his firing one of his "dumb" employees. Isn't it enough that she was fired from her job on the spot? Is it really necessary to embarrass and insult her by name on your store's website? I used to work at Barnes & Noble and I have plenty of stories about bizarre customer requests, but I think it's entirely possible to enjoy the humor in surreal customer situations without making moralistic judgments about another person's character or intelligence. Maybe I'm just not cut out to sell books for a living.. I have to agree that some of these anecdotes are less than charming. The bookstore owner seems rather rude. I was particularly turned off when I read the account of his firing one of his “dumb” employees. Isn’t it enough that she was fired from her job on the spot? Is it really necessary to embarrass and insult her by name on your store’s website?

I used to work at Barnes & Noble and I have plenty of stories about bizarre customer requests, but I think it’s entirely possible to enjoy the humor in surreal customer situations without making moralistic judgments about another person’s character or intelligence. Maybe I’m just not cut out to sell books for a living..

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-654920 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-654920 I know this guy! He works hard and knows books. Willing to share information if you have at least thought of an intelligent question. He also bailed a widow out of a mess when her book rat husband died leaving her with a mess. Lots of folks would have offered pennies on the dollar, but he took it on consignment and made the widow's life a lot better. He's also got a great sense of humor! I know this guy! He works hard and knows books. Willing to share information if you have at least thought of an intelligent question. He also bailed a widow out of a mess when her book rat husband died leaving her with a mess. Lots of folks would have offered pennies on the dollar, but he took it on consignment and made the widow’s life a lot better. He’s also got a great sense of humor!

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653653 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653653 Oh man, bookstore customers are the worst. I used to work in a Borders, and I wish I'd been able to say half the things I was thinking. As it was, I had a number of conversations like the following: Customer: "I'm looking for a book." Me: "Well, you've come to the right place."/"Looks like you found one."/"We've got a lot of those, any *particular* book?" Customer: "I think it's blue." Amazingly, 9 times out of 10, we could find the book based solely on this, by walking the customer through the new release and bestseller sections and pointing out the blue ones. Which they had to walk past to get to the help desk. Durrrr. Oh man, bookstore customers are the worst. I used to work in a Borders, and I wish I’d been able to say half the things I was thinking. As it was, I had a number of conversations like the following:

Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”
Me: “Well, you’ve come to the right place.”/”Looks like you found one.”/”We’ve got a lot of those, any *particular* book?”
Customer: “I think it’s blue.”

Amazingly, 9 times out of 10, we could find the book based solely on this, by walking the customer through the new release and bestseller sections and pointing out the blue ones. Which they had to walk past to get to the help desk. Durrrr.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-654183 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-654183 There was a BBC comedy series a few years back, called Black Books that had a great curmudgeonly shopkeeper. The store had a reversible sign on its door that read "Closed" on both sides. There was a BBC comedy series a few years back, called Black Books that had a great curmudgeonly shopkeeper. The store had a reversible sign on its door that read “Closed” on both sides.

]]> By: Cefeida http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653423 Cefeida Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653423 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFCYL-ATUp8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFCYL-ATUp8

]]> By: mgfarrelly http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653689 mgfarrelly Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653689 Oh God. Very similar to working in a library Patron: Are you a librarian? Librarian: Yes. Patron: Are you sure? I thought librarians were all women? Patron: Do you get these book especially for the library? Librarian: Well, sometimes we get special editions, but they come from the same publishers Patron: But only libraries can buy these books? Librarian: No, anyone can buy any book they can find at a bookstore or online. Patron: You must hate Amazon Patron: Someone near me was looking at porn! Librarian: I'm sorry. Are they still here. Patron: No, he left. Librarian. Did he turn the screen (we have privacy screens so you can't view from the side) or harass you? Patron: No. But I wanted to see what he was looking at so I got on his computer when he left. Oh God. Very similar to working in a library

Patron: Are you a librarian?
Librarian: Yes.
Patron: Are you sure? I thought librarians were all women?

Patron: Do you get these book especially for the library?
Librarian: Well, sometimes we get special editions, but they come from the same publishers
Patron: But only libraries can buy these books?
Librarian: No, anyone can buy any book they can find at a bookstore or online.
Patron: You must hate Amazon

Patron: Someone near me was looking at porn!
Librarian: I’m sorry. Are they still here.
Patron: No, he left.
Librarian. Did he turn the screen (we have privacy screens so you can’t view from the side) or harass you?
Patron: No. But I wanted to see what he was looking at so I got on his computer when he left.

]]> By: lewisfrancis http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653694 lewisfrancis Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653694 One of my daily reads is http://notalwaysright.com/ -- suspect a psych or neurology major could base their PHD thesis on these stories as they cover the gamut of intelligence, neurosis and cognitive deficits. One of my daily reads is http://notalwaysright.com/ — suspect a psych or neurology major could base their PHD thesis on these stories as they cover the gamut of intelligence, neurosis and cognitive deficits.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653444 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653444 Working retail... haha Just remember... no one makes fun of people for being too stupud to watch TV. For balance they should add a section on knowledge laid down proper to customers. Working retail… haha

Just remember… no one makes fun of people for being too stupud to watch TV.

For balance they should add a section on knowledge laid down proper to customers.

]]> By: Tdawwg http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653449 Tdawwg Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653449 Lovely. Reminds me of an overheard argument in the now-defunct Avenue Victor Hugo in Boston, about ten minutes ago. After numerous and escalations and attacks between an irate, stupid customer and the irate, quite learned proprietor, the customer yelled the standard, "Is this how you treat customers?" to which the proprietor replied, "You're not a customer, you're an idiot!" Not a great business model, perhaps, but, damn, I miss that store, as well as that kind of honesty. Lovely. Reminds me of an overheard argument in the now-defunct Avenue Victor Hugo in Boston, about ten minutes ago. After numerous and escalations and attacks between an irate, stupid customer and the irate, quite learned proprietor, the customer yelled the standard, “Is this how you treat customers?” to which the proprietor replied, “You’re not a customer, you’re an idiot!” Not a great business model, perhaps, but, damn, I miss that store, as well as that kind of honesty.

]]> By: Phrosty http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653452 Phrosty Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653452 Hilarious. I read through the rest on the site, great stuff. The employee is somewhat witty. Some of the entries make you cringe though, like the lady who bought $3500 worth of books including Mark Twain first editions, just to decorate her daughter's bathroom. Hilarious. I read through the rest on the site, great stuff. The employee is somewhat witty. Some of the entries make you cringe though, like the lady who bought $3500 worth of books including Mark Twain first editions, just to decorate her daughter’s bathroom.

]]> By: tomboing http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653710 tomboing Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653710 Hoo boy, this kind of confirms what I've noticed over the years: that the people who worked in used book stores tend to be smug assholes and or smart alecks, at least here in NYC/Brooklyn. An acquaintance of mine who runs a used bookstore here says he has noticed this tendency, too. One of his goals was to be a used bookstore that was distinctly different in this way. Plenty of courteous, cool people in the job, too, of course. But seems like a surprising number are jerks. Maybe it's that I have a higher expectation of coolness in that kind of store. Maybe it's that the clerks there are overqualified and bored. Maybe it's that social misfits gravitate to this line of work. Hoo boy, this kind of confirms what I’ve noticed over the years: that the people who worked in used book stores tend to be smug assholes and or smart alecks, at least here in NYC/Brooklyn.

An acquaintance of mine who runs a used bookstore here says he has noticed this tendency, too. One of his goals was to be a used bookstore that was distinctly different in this way.

Plenty of courteous, cool people in the job, too, of course. But seems like a surprising number are jerks. Maybe it’s that I have a higher expectation of coolness in that kind of store. Maybe it’s that the clerks there are overqualified and bored. Maybe it’s that social misfits gravitate to this line of work.

]]> By: scionofgrace http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653970 scionofgrace Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653970 I agree that the bookstore owner is a bit snarky for his own good. I worked at Borders for a few years and have had my share of clueless customers, but being patient with them is the best way to stay in business. That said, I would spare no snark on the lady who bought first editions to decorate her kid's room. I saw a high-end design magazine once (my SIL is an interior designer) where all the books were similar height and put on the shelf SPINE-INWARDS so that they looked uniform. And I'm sittin' there goin', what is the point of that bookshelf? (Best question ever, from my time as a barista: "Cafe Freeze... is that cold?") I agree that the bookstore owner is a bit snarky for his own good. I worked at Borders for a few years and have had my share of clueless customers, but being patient with them is the best way to stay in business.

That said, I would spare no snark on the lady who bought first editions to decorate her kid’s room. I saw a high-end design magazine once (my SIL is an interior designer) where all the books were similar height and put on the shelf SPINE-INWARDS so that they looked uniform. And I’m sittin’ there goin’, what is the point of that bookshelf?

(Best question ever, from my time as a barista: “Cafe Freeze… is that cold?”)

]]> By: Neon Tooth http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653717 Neon Tooth Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653717 I had the last conversation about a million times, except I was a used record buyer. Pretty much the same conversations. I had the last conversation about a million times, except I was a used record buyer. Pretty much the same conversations.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653975 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653975 Must be something inherent to book stores. Check out http://www.2girlsandacomicstore.blogspot.com/ Not updated for a while but comedy gold! Must be something inherent to book stores. Check out http://www.2girlsandacomicstore.blogspot.com/ Not updated for a while but comedy gold!

]]> By: Nadreck http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653482 Nadreck Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653482 Apart from the L-user stories told by my SysAdmin friends my stock of idiot customer stories comes mainly from those times when my checkout line at the local supermarket comes to a complete halt while my ice-cream melts into puddles underneath the cart. "How much are those two dollar things?" "I was in here a couple of hours ago and bought a bag of frozen corn that I decided I don't want. I just put it back in your freezer and I'd like a refund now. Receipt? Nah, I lost it." "I demand that the '20 percent off" mentioned on this coupon apply to the after-tax value of the full-price item!! Not just 20 percent off of the pre-tax value!!! Call the manager down here and we'll sort this out once and for all." (Amount in dispute: 4 cents.) "What do you mean you won't accept my personal cheque for $300?! I need these groceries to stock my kitchen for the first time as I just arrived from Albania. See this is cheque number 1 so you know the account isn't overdrawn." Apart from the L-user stories told by my SysAdmin friends my stock of idiot customer stories comes mainly from those times when my checkout line at the local supermarket comes to a complete halt while my ice-cream melts into puddles underneath the cart.

“How much are those two dollar things?”

“I was in here a couple of hours ago and bought a bag of frozen corn that I decided I don’t want. I just put it back in your freezer and I’d like a refund now. Receipt? Nah, I lost it.”

“I demand that the ’20 percent off” mentioned on this coupon apply to the after-tax value of the full-price item!! Not just 20 percent off of the pre-tax value!!! Call the manager down here and we’ll sort this out once and for all.” (Amount in dispute: 4 cents.)

“What do you mean you won’t accept my personal cheque for $300?! I need these groceries to stock my kitchen for the first time as I just arrived from Albania. See this is cheque number 1 so you know the account isn’t overdrawn.”

]]> By: Blaine http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653746 Blaine Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653746 #9 That's the first thing I thought of too! I love Gord. Went out of my way to buy a game from his old stock so I could say "That game... was sold by Gord". #9

That’s the first thing I thought of too! I love Gord. Went out of my way to buy a game from his old stock so I could say “That game… was sold by Gord”.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653494 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653494 @ #1 First thing I thought of too. @#2 Avenue Victor Hugo was a favorite of mine, it's a shame that the forced neighborhood revitalization along with the proprietor's "local character" kept it from surviving. @ #1 First thing I thought of too.

@#2 Avenue Victor Hugo was a favorite of mine, it’s a shame that the forced neighborhood revitalization along with the proprietor’s “local character” kept it from surviving.

]]> By: cycloxt http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653506 cycloxt Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653506 "Well, my Mom died and she was a hypochondriac. Maybe she was right!" Made my day. “Well, my Mom died and she was a hypochondriac.
Maybe she was right!”

Made my day.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653774 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653774 There are insane bookstore owners & asinine employees, but many more kooky customers. 5 years at a Used & Rare Bookstore on "The Main" in Montreal. There are insane bookstore owners & asinine employees, but many more kooky customers. 5 years at a Used & Rare Bookstore on “The Main” in Montreal.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653775 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653775 Now I'm tempted to call this guy up and try and get on his list: "hey, you buy autographs?" "yes" "I got a autographed photo of Jesus" "wow, who autographed it?" "I dunno, I can't read the handwriting." Now I’m tempted to call this guy up and try and get on his list:

“hey, you buy autographs?”

“yes”

“I got a autographed photo of Jesus”

“wow, who autographed it?”

“I dunno, I can’t read the handwriting.”

]]> By: ASIFA-Hollywood Animation Archive http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653543 ASIFA-Hollywood Animation Archive Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653543 I overheard this one: Wife customer: Look honey! An autographed Ray Bradbury first edition! It must be rare! Bookseller: Lady, the rarest first editions are the ones he DIDN'T sign his name in. I overheard this one:

Wife customer: Look honey! An autographed Ray Bradbury first edition! It must be rare!

Bookseller: Lady, the rarest first editions are the ones he DIDN’T sign his name in.

]]> By: nomad13 http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653806 nomad13 Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653806 As stupid as many of the customers in these conversations appear to be, the clerk comes across as quite an ass. Which as sievetronix points out seems to be a fairly common trait among book sellers. When these guys ask "What do you collect?", what they actually mean is "Since the books you propose to buy appear to be scattered across a range of subjects, periods and authors, you must be some sort of philistine and I intend to have a laugh at your expense." As stupid as many of the customers in these conversations appear to be, the clerk comes across as quite an ass. Which as sievetronix points out seems to be a fairly common trait among book sellers.

When these guys ask “What do you collect?”, what they actually mean is “Since the books you propose to buy appear to be scattered across a range of subjects, periods and authors, you must be some sort of philistine and I intend to have a laugh at your expense.”

]]> By: danwarning http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-654070 danwarning Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-654070 I worked at a used book store in Philadelphia for 4 years and my favorite was when a disgruntled-looking acne-d teen aged girl in a catholic school girl's uniform and braces stomped in and shouted at me behind the counter, "WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR BOOKS ON WITCHCRAFT?" I worked at a used book store in Philadelphia for 4 years and my favorite was when a disgruntled-looking acne-d teen aged girl in a catholic school girl’s uniform and braces stomped in and shouted at me behind the counter, “WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR BOOKS ON WITCHCRAFT?”

]]> By: Chava http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-654074 Chava Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-654074 Late, but never mind. "Hi, are you hiring? No. What color do you call your hair? Vermilion. I have never seen that shade before. My parents hate it. I'm with them. Really? Yes. Can I give you some advise? Sure. Try to look normal if you are looking for a job. Really? Yea." Over-pretentious bookstore owner doesn't know the difference between verbs and nouns, apparently. Late, but never mind.

“Hi, are you hiring?

No. What color do you call your hair?

Vermilion.

I have never seen that shade before.

My parents hate it.

I’m with them.

Really?

Yes. Can I give you some advise?

Sure.

Try to look normal if you are looking for a job.

Really?

Yea.”

Over-pretentious bookstore owner doesn’t know the difference between verbs and nouns, apparently.

]]> By: meatpigeon http://boingboing.net/2009/12/02/funny-conversations.html#comment-653822 meatpigeon Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-653822 Almost any job in customer service is a horrible job. Customers are so spoiled nowadays. Almost any job in customer service is a horrible job. Customers are so spoiled nowadays.

]]>