Just look at this awesome banana slicer.

Just look at it.

Previously:

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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Zhiva

I’m afraid I’m getting banana allergy.
Mitch

5 seconds to slice a banana with a knife + 5 seconds to clean all food contact surfaces of the knife

1 second to slice a banana with the banana slicer 1 a minute to clean all food contact surfaces of the banana slicer

I was in an irate mood when I saw this earlier and it kind of set me off.
jeligula

I am beginning to think that you are heavily into banana paraphernalia, Cory. There are worse hobbies.
Flaminica

I can see that Cory never washes the dishes, because that would be a nightmare to clean.
- apoxia
  
  That would fit into the dishwasher just fine.
  - Anonymous
    
    That would fit into the dishwasher just fine.
    
    Along with how many of the other kitchen gadgets that Cory is so fond of? I can see that Cory’s next gadget is going to be an industrial grade dishwasher.
Anonymous

Sometimes a banana is just a banana…
dfbecker

So this is for the person that is too lazy to use their spoon to slice the banana into pieces? There’s a sucker born every minute, apparently.
Cowicide

I’m looking at this banana slicer… cautiously.
VagabondAstronomer

Ohhhhhkayee, starting to sound Freudian now…
- Felton
  
  Ohhhhhkayee, starting to sound Freudian now…
  
  Bananaphilia?
Hawley

cory’s genital destruction fetish has reared its ugly head
Hagrid

Hmmmmm… Cory’s going bananas…
Donal

So, Cory…bananas…yeah?
http://have Anonymous

“Banana Hammock” – Not what you think:
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=10525586
Anonymous

Psh thats nothing.
This device can slice eggs made out of stainless steel!
http://www.amazon.com/Leifheit-Line-Stainless-Steel-Slicer/dp/B00004YKV5/ref=pd_sim_k_8
Guesstimate Jones

Irrefutable evidence of tool use, among lower primates…
Phrosty

ZOMG thanks! This is going to make slicing perfect banana slices sooo much easier. Slicing bananas can be such a tedious procedure.
dicebourbon

My friend bought one of these at Goodwill last month accidentally. He put it in his cart to show us so we could all have a laugh, but he ended up buying it with the rest of his stuff.

He said it works well.

I thought it was a really old product from the ’80s or something.
- peterbruells
  
  @dicebourbon I have no doubt that this works reasonably well, though I assume that it’s not so good for bananas which are either quite early or quite late in the stages of edibility.
  
  But I don’t see who would actually need such an item save perhaps a total klutz who’s both afraid of knives *and* has a neurotic disorder compelling him to eat only evenly sliced bananas.
grimc

Obviously, this is going to end with a “Look at this banana!” post with a very unfortunate picture that no unicorn chaser will ever fix.
Moriarty

Hmm. It would take probably no more than 5 seconds to slice a banana like that with a butter knife, and probably no less than 2 to use this highly specialized slicer. Make that 8 and 5 if you include peeling. So, how many bananas would a person need to slice to make it worth owning? Surely if you’re slicing that many bananas, you work on some kind of banana slicing assembly line, and it would in fact be worth the investment in even better equipment, perhaps involving hinges, a shape that can accommodate outlying banana shapes, and maybe even automatic functioning, to free the banana slicing workforce for more stimulating tasks.
Dante

If there are banana slicers, then Godd exists.
- devophill
  
  “If there are banana slicers, then Godd exists.”
  
  Do you mean God exists, or Grodd exists? Because I don’t know which one would worry me more.
  - Dante
    
    I’ve made a commitment to always spell “God” with two d’s, because the concept of Godd is odd. I hadn’t heard of Grodd until I followed yer link. Interesting.
    - Anonymous
      
      This is off-topic, but i am rather curious about dante’s comment. What exactly is your understanding of the “concept of Godd” and what is odd about it? Does that mean you do not believe in the concept? You still choose to capitalize the name, and if your forum alias is named after the epic poem, that implies some interest in religious concepts involving said “Godd”.
  - Phikus
    
    Devophil. You are a godd for segueing the essential gorilla into this thread! I laughed until I stopped.
Anonymous

I just use my food processor with the slicing blade :)
neuromodder

No love for the plantain?
greermahoney

I’m enjoying the boingboing “Just look at it” meme. I don’t feel pressured to purchase anything, as I’m only being asked to look. Yay.
Loraan

Also, this one, which you probably already own.

I mean, really. WTF is with unnecessary kitchen gadgets? Each one may only cost a few dollars, but that adds up, and takes up room in your kitchen. Simplicity and efficiency are beautiful. SCREW UNI-TASKERS! ALTON BROWN FOREVER!
- The Chemist
  
  It not a uni-tasker! You can also use it to slice plantains.
Asharale

Should have a “Just look at it” section. Maybe a subcategory of the weird section.
candycritic

I believe a holiday gift guide with a banana theme is in the works, or it should be.
Ratdog

I like this. It proves my point against half of a banana people:

If you can’t handle a full banana, stay out of the kitchen.
Chocodile

NO
Itsumishi

One other question, do you like chocolate bars?
Demecles

Conspicuous consumption, for the man who has everything + a banana slicer
Anonymous

Unitasker. :(
PFlint

Banana? Oh! Oh! Lemme get my banana slicer… where is that thing… Oh, you used your spoon? OK…
Anonymous

“Guard Your Banana”

I have the Banana Guard. My ex-girlfriend bought it for me. It’s outlasted her. Bitter much? Nah. I needed it after I went to a meeting with a banana in my messenger bag which managed to get mushed and utterly decimated my laptop in the process. I learned my lesson the hard way so that you don’t have to. I’ve probably used it for 100+ banana transports. The banana didn’t fit maybe 4 of those times. And a banana that doesn’t fit in the Banana Guard is not a banana worth transporting. If you’re planning on buying Franken-bananas you might want to look elsewhere. Otherwise, it’s golden. I have “mellow yellow” but am oddly enticed by the prospect of having a flushed “passionate purple” banana. And did I mention that the ladies love it?

http://bananaguard.com
Phikus

Look, people, we’re just supposed to look at it, not comment on it. Stop all commentary! …Oh wait.
Anonymous

Such a waste, but a wonderful illustration of our desires for excess.
HotPepperMan

Boing Boing appears to be desperately in search of a meme.

Perhaps we should go for “ZOMBIE LEGO BANANAS”?

These useless gadgets are just one of the reasons this world is in such a mess. People placing importance on something as stupid as a yellow piece of plastic.

I mean, what is wrong with pineapple corers?
Anonymous

This miraculous banana slicer is nothing short of the definitive evidence for an Intelligent Designer.

How else would you explain how the banana was made to fit the slicer so perfectly?
Bergeboy

I like bananas. Bananas are good.
Cefeida

Ooooh, now I understand why the EU regulates banana curvature. They have to all fit this slicer.
Laszlo_Kovacs

I love all these “Who needs a banana slicer? Use a spoon!” people. A banana is like the perfect food for primate consumption. You don’t need a spoon any more than you need a banana slicer.
- peterbruells
  
  @Laszlo_Kovacs You assume that the only way to eat a banana ist to shovel it in your mouth and bit it off like some lowly ape. Other people have other standards. Or simply want some bananas in their cereal.
  
  Myself, I try never to bite off something in public – it’s simply a disgusting lack of manners, like eating at the office desk. And the reason I carry a knife.
  
  Err, not to kill offenders, but to be able to cut off bite-sized pieces, of course.
  
  That said, the above product sucks. It doesn’t to anything a knife and some skill doesn’t and unlike other time-savers, which never amortize themselves in a private kitchen, doesn’t look like it would work in a professional kitchen.
  - Anonymous
    
    biting is bad manners?
    
    this is probably only one of many reasons why I am not welcome in polite society.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    I try never to bite off something in public – it’s simply a disgusting lack of manners
    
    +1
  - Laszlo_Kovacs
    
    And if you are such a person (which is sad), you cannot in good conscience take issue with a banana slicer. It’s just the logical extension of refusing to eat a banana in public.
    
    You spoon people are on a slippery slope… slippery, I say!
    - peterbruells
      
      @Lazlo No, it isn’t. I actually am not rabid about the no biting off thing. There are occasions where I consider it acceptable – you know the saying about a time and place for everything. A picnic or a christmas market, for example. Or a very informal pizza diner.
      
      But as a general rule I prefer not to give people a view of my incisors cutting of meat or bread or whatever. And I also prefer not to see their, as I also prefer not to smell them or hear their farts or their heartfelt belches. Especially since it is so easily avoid.
      
      In any case, the banana slicer is no “logical extension” of my views on table manners. I can cut up fruits for my wife and me just fine with a knife.
      
      And I do not have to refuse to eat a banana in public. I simply take out one of the knives I have with me. and cut off the parts I need. That way I can also offer parts of the banana to other people.
      - Itsumishi
        
        So are sandwiches a respectable lunch time food to eat say, sitting on a bench on a city corner?
        
        (Sandwiches that are not cut into bite sized pieces I should mention).
        
        I can’t imagine you live in a city…
      - peterbruells
        
        @itumishi I dont know about you, but I’m perfectly able to cut the German style sandwhich into bite-sized picecs and eat those. And I am indeed less enthralled with people who feel the need to eat messily in the public – it’s more or less the same like smoking and not showering.
        
        And yes, I don’t live “in the city” – I live at the edge of a 150.000 people town. If I lived or worked in the center or in the center of a “real” city, I’d be able to find a decent restaurant where I could sit down with real plates, real cutlery and a meal, instead of just treating the whole process as base fulfillment. I’ll also note that this is a cultural issue – when working with colleagues in France , work stopped, we went to lunch, had a decent lunch instead of shoveling food (Germans do that a lot faster than for example Americans, by the way) – and yet, we get the same amount of work done.
      - Itsumishi
        
        That’s all fine and dandy. You obviously have your manners and I have mine. I was just curious.
        
        I’m not overly offended by smoking (although I do not smoke myself, and I do hate the smell of an ashtray that is never emptied).
        
        I regularly eat things like boxed noodles on trains and trams as that way I can eat on the run whilst trying to get places. I’m often quite busy though and eating on public transport is often the only chance I’ll get to sit down and eat.
        
        Also being in Australia means there is a lot of Asian influenced culture, chop-sticks frequently mean “incisors cutting of meat or bread or whatever” will often be bared.
      - peterbruells
        
        @itumishi It does? The way Chinese cuisine – of course heavily adapted to local tastes – is prepared over here I have no problem taking bite sized pieces with chop-sticks and eat them. Just the noodles are a bit problematic, as they have to get sucked it.
        
        I admit, me eating popcorn with chop-sticks ist something I do just for convenience, as I avoid getting fat or sugar (A German delightful perversion, I’ve been told) on my hands.
      - Itsumishi
        
        Ahh see I would never ‘suck’ the noodles in. I would pick the noodles up with the chopsticks, put them in my mouth, move the chopsticks down a little little bit gripping them a bit further down and bite through them.
        
        Also things like sushi which is not generally prepared in bite sized chunks at all will need to be bitten through at least once, unless you feel like stuffing the whole thing into your mouth in one go.
        
        There are also plenty of Chinese/Korean/Thai places that serve dishes with chunks too big for single bites.
zhuzhu

this looks so satisfying to use! but yeh cutting a banana takes like 10seconds anyway
Rich Keller

I usually just push the banana through the strings of my cigar box banjo.
Anonymous

Just look at this running gag. Just look at it.

(I’m much more impressed by the fact that BB’s participants seem to be managing to have a reasonable discussion of a silly post. I guess it balances the times when a reasonable post drew silly responses.)
jfrancis

With a needle and thread you can slice it in the skin and leave it for someone else to peel a short while later.
- PaulR
  
  Dang! I came all the way to message 38-plus, and you beat me to it.
  
  Yeah, pre-sliced bananas! Just the thing to mess with your child’s understanding of how the universe works.
Robbo

Nothing has value in the universe unless you can make an alcoholic beverage from it.

Oh look!

http://wnymedia.net/entertainment/beerovision/2007/09/beer-for-monkeys-wells-banana-bread-beer/

Mmmm- bananas
Anonymous

Just because you CAN create it doesn’t mean you should! All these overdesigned products are a plague.

I too take up the battle cry. Alton Brown forever!
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Just because you CAN create it doesn’t mean you should!< ?i>
  
  The invisible hand of the market has to have something to hold onto.
Looksurly

As Moriarty points out, the efficiency associated with this thing is insignificant. Then you are consider how much more water is required to clean it, as opposed to a knife. How much extra energy and plastic are required to make it, given that you already have a knife. A small, but apt, example of our unsustainable obsession with the acquisition of things. Get out your knife and slice the banana please.
Daemon

Yes, yes. Banana stuff. Looking. Moving on.
cwclifford

For once, I am impressed this device was not described as “kick ass”. :)
Anonymous

By removing the worker’s control over the slicing of his banana, this banana slicer performs the essential function of alienation from self within the context of modern industrial society. No longer will the slices of a worker’s banana — *or refusal to slice said banana, or even eat a banana at all* — be the objectification of his individuality, but such slices will now reflect only the mechanical purity of the industrialization process. My banana, your banana, each man’s banana will reflect only his place within the machine of industry.

A specter is haunting late-night infomercials: the specter of spoon-sliced bananas.
- jackie31337
  
  I am overcome by the urge to give you grant money to explore this intriguing topic in an article for a scholarly journal. Unfortunately, I have approximately 2 cents and pocket lint available to fund you.
- apennydreadful
  
  @ Anonymous #48
  
  thank you for the Capitalist Bananafesto.
AlanJCastonguay

This could be used to cut eggs as well. Far less phallic.
- Piers W
  
  But even more emasculatory.
dainel

If the slices are about 2 or 3 times thinner, we could fry them as chips.
Obviously

These have been around forever and I’ve never thought anything of it. Go back to bed Cory.
Andrew B.

i read this as “banana silencer”
damndroid

People advocating the use of spoons and other such inferior (or second-banana, if you will) tools are overlooking the true satisfaction of having (near-)symmetrical banana slices.
damndroid

Perhaps the resemblance of a banana to the human male reproductive organ is the product of primate evolution? The apes whose “fruits” looked tastier attracted more lady apes and hence they had more offspring…
Anonymous

I’ve not heard of any such banana related paraphernalia existing in history as does today. Perhaps this shows that we are reaching a ‘golden age’ of society & i’m sure future future historians will marval @ our brilliance!
Anonymous

banana paraphernalia is the new Asian ear wax picking tangent . . . it never ends
WaylonWillie

Could someone make a steampunk version of this? Possibly brass, with a worm-screw you turn to move the blades apart, thus adjusting how thick/thin your slices are. That would be something to look at.
Cowboyshoe

Welcome to BoingBoing, your banana and ukulele information clearing house.

Uhm…steampunk.
Anonymous

I have one of these. Yes, it is a pain in the neck to clean. Also, if the banana is too curved it doesn’t fit in the slicer. I’ll give it another try.
- damndroid
  
  How to use knife-replacing banana slicer:
  
  1. Use knife to cut banana into slicer-friendly pieces
  2. Use slicer to slice above pieces
Itsumishi

My old housemates have one of these on the wall. I think one of them bought it in Thailand.

It wasn’t in the house when I lived there, I think if it had gone up while I’d lived there it would have been the last straw. So much useless junk littered that house because my housemate thought it was all so damn funny. It was mildly amusing for a while, then the fact that every time you wanted to open a window required removing 15 utterly useless objects from the window sill started getting on my nerves. Then when you wanted to cook something you needed to do the same to the bench.

One day that girl will die under a toppled pile of junk in the maze that her house will become.
fnc

Personally, I prefer to use a samurai sword, as it’s more of a multi-tasker.
Spencer Cross

This is easily my new favorite Boing Boing in-joke. I’m surprised how many people continue to take these posts at face value.
unklstuart

This should be steam powered.
Anonymous

If it slices pickles also … and perhaps segments of kielbasa …

Oh, bits of celery, too! Carrots, even. Small cylindrical columns of moistened sand! Or paper mache!

Miniature yule logs.