Rapist ex-lawmaker claims copyright on his name, threatens legal action against anyone who uses it without permission


44 Responses to “Rapist ex-lawmaker claims copyright on his name, threatens legal action against anyone who uses it without permission”

  1. lewis stoole says:

    i have just patented my genes. any woman who bares a child with these patented genes without my consent, i will sue. (it would probably make more sense if i posted this under a monsanto post; but when i hear lawsuit, i become excited about the possibilities)

  2. Anonymous says:

    This would be a better gambit if it were novel, but it isn’t. It’s an old jailhouse lawyer trick, passed down from generation to generation of inmates like cargo cultism in the south seas.

    A variation on it is to first issue a flurry of documents purporting to establish a legal change of name, then in the second stage file for a writ of Habeas Corpus claiming that the name on the judgement and sentence is different and that therefore the inmate must be released.

    Neither method works.

    • Hans says:

      I suppose the belief that these sorts of arguments work is a commentary on how people (well, inmates) think of the criminal justice system: a thoughtless golumn enforcing rules without for either justice or consequences. They’re opinion of a judge as a sentient, decision-making entity must be pretty low for them to think the argument would work.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I am Ted Alvin Klaudt.

  4. Anonymous says:

    To the people ridiculing South Dakota: We have four Giant stone robot presidents lying in wait under Mount Rushmore, and they will punch you in your grandma.

  5. Xopher says:

    “Ted Alvin Klaudt” can be sung to the tune of “Carol of the Bells.” Ted Alvin Klaudt, Ted Alvin Klaudt. I don’t have time to write the whole filk now, but the “Merry Merry Merry Merry Merry Christmas” line would be “Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Rapist.”

  6. nehpetsE says:

    No! I’m Ted Alvin Klaudt, daughter raper!

  7. MelSkunk says:

    Wow, this is almost as good a money making idea as selling eggs to fertility clinics!


  8. Brainspore says:

    Sounds like the guy gets legal advice from comic book villains.

    Hoffman, run down to the patent office, copyright the name “Green Goblin.” I want a quarter every time someone says it.

    -J.J. Jameson

  9. Thalia says:

    Mr. Klaudt should be referred to the New Kids On The Block case, which clarified the right of papers to use trademarks, even famous, registered ones, in the context of identifying parties. http://openjurist.org/971/f2d/302

  10. Simon Bradshaw says:

    What everyone else has said. This article would be more accurate if it said “…that claiming to know the law…” because Klaudt clearly does not.

  11. WorldWithoutEnd says:

    What the article says is that “knowing the law is no prerequisite for serving in high office.” i.e., this case proves that one doesn’t have to know the law to get into high office.

  12. RainyRat says:

    I’m Ted Alvin Klaudt, and so is my wife. So I guess this means that there will be [counts other posts] at least five lawsuits winging their way to BB as a result of this thread so far?

  13. Satan Ate My Ears says:

    The only thing greater than the absurdity of this man’s logic is his resemblance to the “ding, fries are done!” guy.

    Can ya see it?

  14. 3lbFlax says:

    We’re all Ted Alvin Klaudt now.

    On a more serious note, I genuinely am Ted Alvin Klaudt, but not Ted Alvin Klaudt the rapist; I’m Ted Alvin Klaudt the latrine orderly. Furthermore to this nominative coinkydink I hereby grant all people of the Earth everywhere the right to use my name (Ted Alvin Klaudt) IN PERPETUITY on land and sea and wherever God shines his light*, particularly when referring to my namesake Ted Alvin Klaudt (the rapist) as a method of avoiding tiresome litigation.

    * Except in Nebraska.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Isn’t a name public record? Can you copyright something that is present in the public domain?

  16. johnnyuber says:

    From now on I will make sure to refer to him as
    “Klaudt the Rapist”.

  17. johnofjack says:

    Unfortunately for this guy, I hold patents on both stupidity and corruption.

  18. UncommonSense says:

    But how will he get his mail?

  19. Anonymous says:

    perhaps he could change his name to a short story and then of course it would be copyrighted. “For Sale: Baby shoes – never used,”is unfortunately already taken but I’m sure he could think of something.

  20. Anonymous says:

    How is this any more stupid than the ip laws they actually enforce with such enthusiasm?

  21. bardfinn says:

    A commentary, by bardfinn.

    Ted Alvin Klaudt, Ted Alvin Klaudt, Ted Alvin Klaudt – Ted Alvin Klaudt;
    TedTed TedTedTedTedTed TedTedTedTedTed TedTedTedTedTedTed



    (ad nauseam)

  22. lev3k says:

    Maybe you should put his name in the title, Cory.

  23. Anonymous says:

    In case anybody was wondering, I googled, and yes, he was a Republican.

  24. Chris Tucker says:

    Ted Alvin Klaudt

    <Butthead>Hehehehehe “Weigh in”</Butthead>

  25. Naberius says:

    “Proving, at least, that knowing the law is no prerequisite for serving in high office.”

    Dude was a state representative in South Dakota. That’s… medium office at best, right? I mean there’s like 150 people in South Dakota these days. I imagine they all just take turns serving in the statehouse.

  26. airship says:

    Being a state representative in South Dakota is the equivalent of being 3rd junior assistant dogcatcher in Omaha. I’m from Iowa, and South Dakota is one of the few states we can beat up.

  27. Anonymous says:

    I think this is related to the tax resister / patriot lunacy that one finds as an undercurrent in a lot of American movement conservatives. It certainly has the genetic markers of that belief set: reliance on bizarrely twisted “common law”; bogus filings; steep “fines” for violation.

    See here, for example:


  28. Teufelaffe says:

    Part of what makes this the most stupid is that you cannot register a copyright for a name.* You can trademark it, but not register a copyright for it. Think about it, if you could register a copyright on a name, do you honestly think that companies would still stick with the trademark? A trademark confers less “protection” than a copyright, since someone can use a trademarked name without permission of the trademark holder in many more ways than one can use a copyrighted work.

    * There is a distinction between having a copyright on something, which happens the instant the creator says it’s copyrighted, and registering a copyright with the copyright office, which creates a legal record of said copyright.

  29. Architexas says:

    I remember when Leonardo DiCaprio attempted to have his name copywritten and trademarked to prevent its unauthorized use in the tabloids. I believe he did the same with his image, too. Shot down in court. Sorry Ted Alvin Klaudt (oh, damn, there goes $500,000!) but you’re overstepping your legal bounds. I also can’t help but find it sadly amusing that those who violate the physical rights of others think they should have their rights upheld to the bitter end… even when those rights don’t exist…

  30. sluggo says:

    Had to go look it up, but it seems he identifies with the Republican party.

    At first, I thought the ‘R’ was for ‘Rape’. Actually, I still do.

  31. zandar says:

    pretty fucking pathetic and sad (but not surprising, I must say) to be coming from an ex-legislator.

    Hard to see the audaciousness of one snowflake when your job consists of creating blizzards, I guess.

  32. Anonymous says:

    I still can’t believe there are individuals capable of doing such awful things-



  33. CastanhasDoPara says:

    W ll knw wht hppns t rpsts nd ncsts prcks n prsn. hp ths trd swrls n th bwl fr th rst f hs ntrl lf. Wht pc f sht.

  34. Anonymous says:

    Perhaps all he wanted was fame?
    Smart guy, making the Streisand Effect work *for* him ; )
    Maybe not really the S-E, but if not, something close.

  35. MadMolecule says:

    Among many other problems with this guy’s legal theory, he can’t claim copyright in his name because he didn’t create the name. If anything, his parents could claim copyright in the full name “Ted Alvin Klaudt,” but even then it would be as a derivative work; they could claim copyright in the particular arrangement of three public-domain words.

    OH MY GOD. I just realized his given names are “Theodore Alvin.” God, I wish there were a Simon involved in this story somehow.

  36. mdh says:

    Sounds like the kind of guy you’d run into on the group W bench.

  37. _OM_ says:

    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt
    Ted Alvin Klaudt

    …Now, sue me, you pedophile. G’wan, I *dare* you.

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