My weekend with a cardboard version of my boyfriend


26 Responses to “My weekend with a cardboard version of my boyfriend”

  1. Enormo says:

    Your boyfriend is the Sabritas mascot?

  2. Anonymous says:

    “I have to admit I was a little bored.”

    I love a good pun.

  3. glory bee says:

    What challenges etc. does a ‘real’ boyfriend possess? Just asking.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Why not? It works for the Flat Daddy military program, which I find incredibly saddening.

    • querent says:

      Damn “flat daddies” is sad and weird. Reminds me of the “b-sharps” episode of the simpsons, when marge makes a surrogate homer, but the tape speeds up, the head falls off, and the latex glove hand flies over and grabs bart by the face.

      And damn, Lisa is an awesome kinda crazy. I love stuff like this. Detached, willful sojourns into madness.

      • Inventorjack says:

        “Damn “flat daddies” is sad and weird.”

        How is it sad and weird to make sure that your children will remember you when you come back from a year in the Middle East? It’s a remarkable program that does a lot of good for the children and the piece of mind of parents who can’t physically be there for their kids.

        I’m hoping you just accidentally phrased your statement poorly.

        • cuvtixo says:

          It is very sad and weird if the parent is killed overseas. What associations are the children going to make in that case?

  5. princeminski says:

    A great piece. Romantic that I am, I hoped for a happier ending (I also hoped that the asterisk after “Cardboard Brian” would lead to: *Not his real name). The comments are pretty funny as well, not that I understood all of them.

  6. Bonegnawer says:

    Hey! I live in Pacifica!

  7. dhalgren says:

    I’m thinking the word, “Creepy”, comes to mind.

  8. Anonymous says:

    this seems to stray awfully close to “man in Japan weds anime game character”

  9. grimc says:

    Cardboard Brian needs more moustache–maybe that’s why he placed second.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I have a similar kind of thing going with my Girlfriend, Plastic Blowup Barb. Except we mostly stay in.

  11. fasterpussycat says:

    Would this have been too weird if instead of a round, yellow face, this cutout actually had Brian’s face?

  12. pentomino says:

    “Oh Mawzipan, you’re so smawt.”


    I’m surprised that a piece of cardboard could sit through a viewing of the The Wedding Planner in one go.

  14. sangeeta Menon says:

    Cardboard Brian seems more fun than most men I’ve dated. May I have him, please?

  15. Anonymous says:

    Reminds me of Wilson in “Cast Away”

  16. arkizzle / Moderator says:

    I decided to retire him to the office wall as decoration.

    Funny, I keep my exes mounted on the wall too. The first few got pretty grotty, until I thought to have them properly cured. Now everything smells great, and new girlfriends aren’t so offended (something about girls and bad smells I suppose).

  17. Talia says:

    I imagine he’d be a little thin-skinned too, and his attempts to be entertaining fell flat…

  18. Moriarty says:

    Sounds like he had a job until you got him fired.

  19. AceJohnny says:

    Reminds me of the song “Fish Heads”, which I believe I discovered on recordings of Dr Demento…

    There’s even a music video!

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