Awkward Stock Photos

awkwardstockphotos.jpg (via William Gibson).


  1. His moobs look photoshopped to appear more freakish! And what’s up with the awkward angle of his legs? YET MORE corporate p’shopping, Xeni?

    1. >And what’s up with the awkward angle of his legs?

      Actually, those are the feet of the small child he’s drowning under the weight of his ass.

  2. In need of an awkward unicorn chaser.

    And am I the only one who thinks Awkward looks like it’s spelled wrong. It’s not, it just looks that way. Kind of like how weird violates the “i before e” rule so it looks like it’s spelled wrong. Strnage.

  3. What’s awkward about that? A dwarf in a washtub. I can think of a dozen uses for that off the top of my head.

  4. Show me a stock photo that isn’t awkward.

    “Hi, I’m a stock photographer. I’d like you to wear a suit and shake hands with another man wearing a suit. Now put a tutu over your suit and shake hands with a chimpanzee. And now, sit at this computer and punch your fist in the air with every one of your teeth showing while holding a phone to your ear. Now do the same, but sit on this rocket ship. Now, lie in bed with this lady in a nightie — you are in love. Now, the same, but with a laptop. Same but with phones. Same plus your little children in bed too, with laptops and phones. Now, all of you into the bubble bath — yeah, laptops and phones and the chimp as well.”

    “Ok, George, I think we’ve got all the bases covered.”

    Stock photos, the art director’s friend.

  5. @ freshacconci — you beat me to the punch by being concise while I was busy typing.

    The weird thing about stock photographers is that they don’t understand they are making components. The more customised the component, the less useful it is. The more generic, the more useful. We add the weird shit later if we need it, ourselves.

    We (designers, art directors) do the ideas. You (stock photographers) give us the building blocks as assets when the budget doesn’t allow for real photography.

    Leave the ideas out of it if you want to sell us your shots.

    (Are there more of those dwarf in a bathtub shots in the series? I’d like to see them.)

  6. I have a subscription to and the ones posted on the site are pretty much standard. Finding photos without people in them is much harder than finding one that isn’t awkward.

  7. Ok… Seriously, why is it ok to make fun of this guys physique? Shall we make fun of his being to poor to afford dental care too?

    Granted, for a stock photo it is a bit odd…

  8. re: odd specificity of subject: lots of stock was done for a project, never used, then sold to stock houses. i’d like to know what era this is from, that may explain a lot.

    btw, moob and leg jokes might be slightly beyond taste limits here, i hate to read your comments on polio victims or worse. also btw, i notice 99% of moob jokes are made by women — women who i assume would rail against jokes by men about women’s boobs/bodies.

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