Butch cupcakes for men

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35 Responses to “Butch cupcakes for men”

  1. Anonymous says:

    3 things come to mind:

    A cupcake is not a lifestyle accessory.

    I’d imagine most of the customers are still women who buy them for men.

    What’s that slab of white stuff on the top?

    • TEKNA2007 says:

      > What’s that slab of white stuff on the top?

      That’s pure lard. Use that, and your imagination, as you will.

      @Pipenta: nice work, and thanks for blowing the grade curve for the rest of us. :) This could be a long 2010 …

  2. Yamara says:

    Finally! A new snack to serve at my chapter of the All-Male Ancient Secrets Revue!

    We’re very self-conscious about our ability to project a empathetic, welcoming hospitality.

  3. Alan says:

    Remember back in the whatever decade that was, when the catchphrase “real men don’t eat quiche” was floating around? This is just as stupid.

    Besides, I’ve met some gay men who were pretty damn manly, like these guys:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_(gay_culture)

  4. Chuck says:

    Cupcakes? Whatever. Read men don’t use cups. They should be mugcakes. Or steincakes. Or straight-from-the-cancakes.

  5. jrhd says:

    butch cupcakes = gay = fail The Butch Bakery actually achieved the antithesis of what they were trying to achieve.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I think the whole store/concept mentioned here is very tongue-in-cheek, which seems to be lost up on the previous commenters… jeez, lighten up, people!

  7. AirPillo says:

    If I buy a bunch of these cupcakes and then apply fondant unicorns and rainbow sprinkles to them, does that make me bisexual? (tongue-in-cheek)

    • Anonymous says:

      If I buy a bunch of these cupcakes and then apply fondant unicorns and rainbow sprinkles to them, does that make me bisexual? (tongue-in-cheek)

      That depend’s on whose tongue is in your cheek doesn’t it?

  8. stegodon says:

    they should just make a cupcake with a huge peen on it, let the chips fall where they may.

  9. Pipenta says:

    Why stop here? They aren’t even making the shift from red velvet to black leather cupcakes! These aren’t nearly butch enough! What about shaving stubble cream filling? Pigskin, jockstrap, cigar butt cupcakes. At the very least, there should be a Guinness option, a beer belly cupcake. Wasabi might be too dainty, but kimchee and a hot chili icing option would be on the money.

    Camo? How totally pussy! What about game cupcakes? A cake with venison filling and a big rack on top. What about bass-fishin’, Nascar racing, Hummer drivin’ cupcakes? What about poker chip cupcakes? Leavin’ the seat up cupcakes? Male-pattern baldness cupcakes? And these should be big, compared to girly cupcakes, so let’s get with the trends and make some bringing-home-the-bacon cupcakes that are at least 25% bigger than the chick cakes, and let’s have ‘em with real bacon.

    We need to see some action hero cupcakes, some car-chase cupcakes, complete with crashes, flames, smoke, EXPLOSIONS! We need FUCKING EXPLODING CUPCAKES. We need go-to-war cupcakes. We need weight-lifting, bench-pressing cupcakes.

    We need some offensive humor cupcakes, Andrew Dice Clay cupcakes, redneck joke cupcakes. Some Hooter gals cupcakes, some Fox News cupcakes, some automatic weapon cupcakes.

    Let’s get real with some jock itch cupcakes sprinkled with Gold Bond powder and filled with Cruex creme. How about some hangover cupcakes, some what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas cupcakes.

    And seriously, these cupcakes should not be sweet unless they’ve got some meat in them. Chocolate comes from a plant. Good god, vanilla comes from a flower, from a fuckin’ orchid. We can’t be having that! We need pork cupcakes, beef cupcakes, tripe and sausage cupcakes, head cheese and liverwurst and scrapple cupcakes, all garnished with hot wings.

    Hell yeah.

  10. Cory Doctorow says:

    Pipenta, you are a fucking god.

  11. Bruce Arthurs says:

    Here’s the link the the first, the original, the only, the REAL “Manly Cupcakes” (2005).

    And yes, they have meat in them. And not just any meat, but… BLUTWURST! How much more manly can you get than sausage made from blood!?

    Low testosterone? Throw away your Androgel, men! A few of these at breakfast every morning, and your knuckles will be scraping the ground in no time!

  12. Pipenta says:

    Thanks Cory! I’d be blushing, if I were the blushing type.

  13. Scott V says:

    I’m looking forward to the end of the cupcake fad. I slice of cake is almost always more moist and tastier.

    Everywhere I go someone hands me a cupcake with 2 inches of over-sweet frosting on top.

    • Anonymous says:

      Man, I want to go to all the places you go where they hand out cupcakes!

    • Anonymous says:

      What “cupcake fad” are you referring to??? Is this like the “cocaine fad” of the 80′s? If so, you better get ready for a long “fad”.

      And what circles do you run in that “everywhere you go, people are trying to hand you a cupcake”?!?!? LOL!!! There are much worse things you could get peer-pressured into.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Any baker that decorates their cupcakes in plaid and houndstooth is probably overstating their butchness.

  15. Boondocker says:

    Specialty cupcake stores always have ridiculous prices. $4 for a goddam cupcake? I don’t care whether it tastes like cheap rum, or whether it allows me to enjoy a sugary snack without raising nagging questions about my sexuality. It’s too goddam expensive.

    Also, am I the only one that associates the word ‘butch’ more with manly lesbians than manly men?

  16. everett.al says:

    Here’s a Guinness cupcake recipe:

    http://hop-talk.com/2010/02/18/guinness-cupcakes/

  17. Neverfox says:

    Cupcakes for the insecure.

  18. LogopolisMike says:

    Whereas I fantasize about a world where somebody just hands me a cupcake liner full of sweet, sweet frosting, with maybe a tiny piece of cake for dipping.

    As far as these “butch cupcakes” I like the look of this one in the picture, but to this particular fagula, like everything that’s inherently frilly — like cupcakes or some of my brothers in gayness– when they try to butch it up with stereotypically masculine signifiers, they just end up seeming really, really gay.

    • Daemon says:

      Not to mention that the word “butch” is about as gay a word as you can get. How many decades has it been since it’s been used in a non gay/lesbian context?

      From their main page: “we make manly cupcakes, for manly men”… I’m getting flashbacks to gay pimp’s soccer practice music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sqv8UJc72SU

  19. flapdragon says:

    Yeah, nothing says ‘manly’ to me like “Brandy-soaked lemon cake with orange-infused white chocolate ganache filling.”

    Real men don’t eat or even use the word “ganache,” let alone anything “infused.”

  20. Lauren O says:

    These look cool, but I sort of object to the idea that men need to be protected from pink things because anything stereotypically feminine is abhorrent and disgusting and inferior. Couldn’t they just make novelty cupcakes that involved camo prints and such, then market them to both men and women as tasty, well-designed food? I guess that isn’t as good a marketing tool as latent homophobia and misogyny. Alas.

  21. Xopher says:

    Wow. This is really stupid.

    But you know what? ‘Butch’ and ‘gay’ aren’t antonyms. ‘Butch’ and ‘fem(me)’ are. The butchest guys I’ve ever met were gay; in fact, they regarded the masculinity of straight guys to be intrinsically tainted by their contact with women.

    Since these guys have all been misogynist assholes (in sharp contrast to the average gay man), I don’t currently know them or associate with them, and certainly none of them has ever been my friend, but they’re out there.

    As far as the topic of the thread is concerned: wow. Stupid. You can put a camo plate on top of a cupcake, but it’s still a cupcake. RuPaul in a leather jacket is still not butch, darlings.

    Actually I’m about 70% sure this is a joke. This is what you get the macho guy who won’t dance or buy flowers for his wife because someone might see him carrying them down the street. These cupcakes are already intended to make fun of guys who carry their masculinity as though it might break.

    Still: Pipenta, that was masterful (or mistressful if you prefer).

  22. chgoliz says:

    Thank you, Pipenta. That was truly brilliant.

    But yeah, way to make every other poster eat your dust!

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