Alex Kreis sez, "Four years ago with Cory's encouragement, I attended Viable Paradise, the SF/F writing workshop.
While there, Teresa Nielsen Hayden set us an exercise to write a story using the Evil Overlord list. I'm proud to say that I sold the story I wrote, and only four (!) years later, it's finally in print in the awesome fantasy magazine Black Gate. Black Gate editor John O'Neill has generously posted the entire story on the website for free."
I know Alex from his technology work, as an astute and forward thinker; and as a nice guy. I'm delighted to discover that's he's also a very, very funny writer.
I am very sorry about seizing the throne of Falland and establishing a dictatorship based on terror and intimidation. As ruler of Falland, I enforced a number of highly unfair and immoral policies for which I now feel very badly, including putting all orphans raised by any forms of wildlife to death, and ordering the execution of all wandering bards (although I must say in my defense that that decision was not entirely unpopular). I congratulate the Directorate for their more enlightened social and economic policies, and am certain that their wisdom will see Falland through these deeply troubled times. I urge the People of Falland to be patient while awaiting results from the Directorate's programs.
If I had the chance to do it again, I would never have perverted nature and desecrated the holy by destroying the bones of St. Elias the Healer in the ritual that granted me immortality. While it is a natural thing for men to wish to live forever, it is not given to us by nature to have beyond our allotment, and I was wrong to offer to grant immortality to those of my followers who aided me in significant ways. It is for the best that I am no longer in a position to do so.
I am particularly embarrassed that I ordered the foul murder of Giles Sunbearer, who entered Castle Ironbound in a perfectly reasonable attempt to put a stop to my illegitimate reign. His plan of disguising himself as a clan chieftain who wished to enlist his tribe in my armies was ingenious, and if not for the fact that all of my guards knew what he looked like and had orders to stab him on sight, would undoubtedly have worked. Once Giles was dead, his companion Polonius Seidkirk was of no further threat to me, and thus having him executed was unwarranted. I feel terrible that I propositioned Giles's lovely companion Raven Livintra so soon after Giles's death; it was tasteless and inappropriate. I should have waited at least six months, and I certainly should not have had her killed when she rejected me. Finally, it was cruel and unnecessary to feed Giles's clever pet marmot, Twiggy, to my wolves.
Special Fiction Feature: "The Renunciation of the Crimes of Gharad the Undying"
(Thanks, Alex!)
