RIP, Hummer

Having failed to sell the Hummer brand off to a Chinese car manufacturer, GM is shutting it down. This car was like the high-fructose corn syrup of automobiles, something that concentrated everything bad about motoring until it underwent a phase-change and somehow became an object of desire.

"We have since considered a number of possibilities for Hummer along the way and we are disappointed that the deal with Tengzhong could not be completed," said John Smith, GM's vice-president of corporate planning and alliances.
"GM will now work closely with Hummer employees, dealers and suppliers to wind down the business in an orderly and responsible manner."

Hummer brand to be wound down after sale fails (via Memex 1.1)

(Image: Hummer limousine, a Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike image from Franco Folini's photostream)

Previously:

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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SaulTSack

I loved the HMMWV’s we drove in the Army. My personal favorite was the M998 – with a rubber top and doors, you couldtake all that crap off and it turned into a bigass dune buggy that could do anything. Ended up driving the M1026 most of my career – the clamshell hardtop.

When they started selling civvy hmmwv’s I thought “who the hell would want to drive one of those things on the road?!?”. Real HMMWV’s flat out *suck* on asphalt. Anything over 65 mph and they felt like they were going to implode. They had the turning radius of a battleship and parking was impossible due to the width.
Brainspore

Well that was fun. I can hardly wait to see what unforseen consequences that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s NEXT automobile purchase will create.
Halloween Jack

I always felt a little sorry for Hummer owners; it looked like a super-expensive version of the camouflage T-shirt.
Milo

Awesome. Not sure how I missed this headline, so thanks for sharing, Cory. I like where you’re going with the food analogy. But I think the Hummer is more like potassium bromate: a tiny but toxic addition to the auto industry, solely intended to preserve its manufactured spirit just a little bit longer.
jennybean42

Whenever my husband and I see a hummer, we look at each other and say “Now everyone knows.”

http://xnegvx.wordpress.com/2007/12/02/hummer-now-everyone-knows/
jennybean42

whenever my husband and I see a hummer, we look at each other and say “Now Everyone Knows.”
http://xnegvx.wordpress.com/2007/12/02/hummer-now-everyone-knows/
amin!

looks like the ghost of the EV1 came back for Hummer.
TheCrawNotTheCraw

“Having failed to sell the Hummer brand off to a Chinese car manufacturer,…”

Hey, no fair… We buy *lots* of junk from the Chinese. The *least* they could do is to buy this piece of American junk.
Anonymous

Years ago a woman in a maroon Hummer reversed and ended up on top of my tiny Nissan Sentra. She couldn’t see out of the back and had no idea she was actually on top of my car. No idea why civilians ever needed that car.
brianary

A victory for driving visibility all over the country.
absimiliard

Good frakking riddance. (and I’m deliberately self-censoring that middle word)

-abs firmly believes that if your “Hummer” isn’t mounting an anti-tank rocket or 60 cal. machine gun you had best be talking about getting a blow-job because the civilian version of these things are an abomination
Anonymous

The picture seems to show a limo based on the military HMMWV (aka Humvee), not the GM civilian Hummer the article is about.
Anonymous

And now northern Indiana loses another 1000 jobs.
- AnneH
  
  The loss of jobs is the only thing I regret about this news.
  - Cowicide
    
    The loss of jobs is the only thing I regret about this news.
    
    Personally, I celebrate the loss of useless jobs that don’t benefit the community at large. Get real jobs. Produce something worthwhile. Then I’ll cry when your job is lost.
grimc

Well whaddya know: FUH2.com worked.
- shylocxs
  
  Darn… I got beat. I loved that website. And I loved hearing this news.
C White

Good riddance.
Antinous / Moderator

The funny thing is, all the people that I know who have Hummers are quite nice. I suspect viral encephalopathy. If you’ve never been in a Hummer, they have slightly less leg room than a small wastebasket. Economy comfort at business class prices.
DarwinSurvivor

So what happens to the military line? Hummers are one of the most depended on ground vehicles for overseas transportation, is GM also shutting down that production line, or is it handled elsewhere?
- Anonymous
  
  AMC General made the H1 and continues to make the military line. The H2 & H3 were gimmick vehicles built on standard GM frames to capitalize on the jingoistic fever at the time. GM purchased only the trademark name from AMC General.
- Anonymous
  
  That too, was a mistake. Hillbilly armor, everyone?
- grimc
  
  As far as the US military goes, the Humvee was targeted for replacement by the JLTV a few years ago.
necaver

The Chinese don’t want ‘em:
“The government rejected the deal to indicate a direction – China wants economical and environmentally-friendly vehicles, rather than ones with large emissions and high-fuel consumption.”

See http://english.aljazeera.net/business/2010/02/201022581024279973.html
InclinedPlane

@DarwinSurvivor “Hummer” is just a brand name for a particular styling of GM vehicle. The “Hummer” v1 was a military HUMVEE modified for civilian use, ever Hummer iteration since has been an entirely civilian vehicle. The H2 and H3 are based on the same truck frames as the Chevy Tahoe and Colorado (respectively). They are not made in the same factory as HMMWVs and the shuttering of their production plants won’t have any impact on the military vehicles with which the Hummer line now bears no relation.
mjfgates

If I had *ever* seen a Hummer with even a speck of mud on it, I might have at least a LITTLE bit of sympathy for the things. As it is… ‘Bye, Hummer! Don’t let the garage door hit you in the trunk on the way out, it might scratch the paint, God forbid.
ackpht

So we’ll still have the Hummer, just not the wannabe H2 and H3.
- Micah
  
  Not exactly. The original Hummer was the civilian version of the HMMWV and, like the HMMWV, was produced by AM General. GM initially just handled sales and marketing, but later bought the name and developed the H2 and H3. They continued to sell AM General produced Hummers (which they called H1s) for a while, but eventually discontinued those, too, leaving only the H2 and H3.
  
  Now that they’re killing the brand altogether, there will be no more Hummer. There will still be HMMWVs produced for military purposes (although I believe those are getting supplanted, too), but no more Hummers.
adderaltered

Damn, now how will easily recognize douchebags without talking to them? I guess we can look for the Sarah Palin bumper stickers.
Manooshi

Yay!!! Suck it, Hummer!!! Good riddance.
Anonymous

â€¦in other news, rocket-propelled grenade futures are down this week.
Anonymous

I find it amusing that, even though Hummer is just a label on the H2 and H3 and they aren’t related to the military vehicles, GM is trying to sell it to the Chinese, given how much of our military effort is insurance against the Chinese state. (Given how many Chinese Americans there are, all over the US, I cannot fathom going to war with China, ever. Or Russia. Or… well this is off-topic….)
The Lizardman

To quote my father, a 30+ yr veteran of the army who regularly drove and rode in hummers:

“Anyone who WANTS a hummer is a fucking idiot”
Anonymous

Good.

I don’t know how many of these things I’ve seen parked in handi-cap spaces.

Maybe now I can stop wearing my car keys down on their paint. Oops.
Anonymous

“This car was like the high-fructose corn syrup of automobiles, something that concentrated everything bad about motoring until it underwent a phase-change and somehow became an object of desire.”

Wow, I really like how that was written!
apoxia

Recently in the city where I live a local business owner identified himself on an internet forum and stated he would run down cyclists with his hummer if they got in his way on the hills where his restaurant is located. It was national news for a few days (granted the country only contains just over 4 million people), but I don’t think he did the hummer brand any good. But then again, how could you?
Cowicide

It’s going to be harder to spot assholes around town, but aside from that Iâ€™m happy to see this dog die.
- Anonymous
  
  You’ll only need to look for Ed Hardy shirts now ;)
- Anonymous
  
  Nah…just look for the BMW’s weaving in and out of traffic.
Anonymous

The original Hummer had some legitimate slots as a hardcore off-road vehicle. It is when it went mainstream (and a more standard drive train was grafted onto it) that everything went nuts. Personally, I had no use at all for that “pseudo-hummer”. It was a fashion statement, and nothing more… almost like an early version of the Escalade. Yuck.
snakedart

My favorite nickname was coined by Henry Rollins: The Dickhead.

Now how will we know which ones they are?
Anonymous

damn, i just got my asshole license last week!
3x10p8

Ignore the douchebag demographic at your own peril GM.
They are many and they are breeding!
Hayfok

I’m glad, nothing’s more aggravating than an overweight individual on their cell phone driving one of these monstrosities, taking up two lanes of traffic. Yes it’s a stereotype, but a horribly common one at that.
wolfwitch

I would have said “Burn in Hell” instead of RIP.
schmod

Has GM managed to sell *any* of its divisions successfully, apart from Saab?
- Steaming Pile
  
  It’s kind of hard to sell stuff when nobody has any money to participate in the world’s largest yard sale.
eosha

Couldn’t happen to a more deserving brand.

I’ve met one person who had a justifiable reason for driving a Hummer. She lived at the end of a 10-mile unmaintained logging road in the New Mexico mountains, and did wilderness search and rescue in her free time.
benher

And nothing of value was lost.
bobrk

Why a picture of a hummer limo? That’s pointless.
Anonymous

OK..really, most people complain about the hummers and gas..etc. But, why is no one upset about the RVs on the road that drink more gas then these vehicles? What about the airlines and the amount of fuel that is required to keep these vehicles flying? what we should be upset about is the fact that another american made product has failed. I am waiting for the fu rv website. Give me a break, what really is at play here is the sheep factor. One person gets upset and points their finger (in some cases, middle finger) at a symbol of their “have nots” and everyone joins in. Its the mob mentality at play here. Hummer was a symbol of peoples misery with their financial lacking. Even though, no one has a fu landrover website. the higher or bigger the nail the more it gets hammered.
- Cowicide
  
  One person gets upset and points their finger (in some cases, middle finger) at a symbol of their “have nots” and everyone joins in.
  
  You live in a parallel universe where the sheep don’t drive Hummers. It’s the people who kind of dig the environment we all live and (try to breath) in who are the mob mentality sheeple, huh?
  
  [cow rolls eyes and goes for a walk]
The Thompson Five

I had to drive the pickup model of the H1 for about a week and I think my 78 Honda Civic had more usable space in it, plus it felt like I was driving a cement truck around town. After that I had an H2 for a couple of days, and what a piece of shit that was. Brand new and the plasticy interior was already falling apart. When I was a kid I never could understand how tail fins on cars fell out of style, now I get it. At some point during hard times something must be chosen to symbolize the excess of previous times and then be conspicuously abandoned, the Hummer is now that symbol.
Leo Scanlon

So what will under-endowed guys drive now?
- IronEdithKidd
  
  Not to worry, GM will remain the brand of choice for penis replacement therapy. They’re still making the Yukon Denali. And the 3/4 ton Suburban. And the Escalade. Not to mention a plethora of full-size trucks.
- rAMPANTiDIOCY
  
  i drive a volkswagen
- InsertFingerHere
  
  I would imagine this is the replacement vehicle for those suffering from Micropenis.
  
  http://www.flickr.com/photos/steveverdon/2375984687/