Cheap bumwad scare-ads of the late 1920s

This 1928 bumwad advertorial from Scott is part of the toilet-paper maker's sustained attempt to create a global panic over the use of cheap TP by convincing people that if you used the wrong brand, your asshole would fall out and you'd end up in the hospital.

More scare tactics by Scott, 1928

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nic

FUD over toilet paper is still going on in south east Asia. Every single brand advertises itself as being made of ’100% virgin pulp’, and some make this claim on health grounds.

When asked about this, locals will usually tell a story about [insert neighboring country name] having cheap brands that re pulp used toilet paper.

Unbleached paper made from recycled TPS reports (commonplace in Australia and NZ) will set you back US$2+ a roll. I tell myself that the ‘virgin pulp’ is from plantation forest to let me sleep at night.
bklynchris

anybody catch the “chemical purity” aspect of proper TP?
Anonymous

They do have a point. As late as 1935, toilet paper manufacturers emphasized as a distinguishing feature of their product that it was “splinter-free”. (Yes. Splinters. Old paper production processes did that.) It’s not scare tactics when the splinters are real.
Simon Bradshaw

I can testify that as late as the back end of the 1970s English primary schools had what was in effect low-grade tracing paper as toilet roll. The stuff used to crinkle horribly into sharp-edged folds that [THE NSA HAS INTERCEPTED THIS COMMUNICATION AND REDACTED THE REMAINDER ON THE GROUNDS OF GOOD TASTE AND DECENCY. WE MEAN, SERIOUSLY, WTF OW?]
- Anonymous
  
  Yes, I remember that and its close cousin Izal medicated toilet tissue
  
  http://carbolicsoap.com/izal-toilet-paper-p-905.html
- Anony Mouse
  
  I’m afraid to say that this toilet paper persisted in schools in the North of England until at least the late 80s if not the early 90s. I remember being 9 years old and thinking ‘but not only is it painful, this is so BAD at removing shit from your ass!’
  
  I think every society needs some form of adversity in order to flourish; maybe we could re-introduce shiny bog roll, and get rid of DRM.
- Anonymous
  
  The two brands I remember were Izal and Bronco and don’t forget the sheets with Government Property printed on them
  
  http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/broughttolife/objects/display.aspx?id=1790
  
  http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?VISuperSize&item=260552239167
  
  Captcha was whiners
kmoser

You haven’t experienced chaffing until you’ve wiped yourself with East German railroad toilet paper. Now I think I know why the trains always ran on time.
Phikus

Aye, there’s the rub. Such a ply is so see-through it bums me out. I don’t mean to be an ass, butt I am sensitive to such tissues. I’d like to wipe out all smear campaigns like this, bent (over) to malign us so backhandedly. I know hind sight is 20/20, but this sort of thing should have come to an end way way back, instead of rearing its ugliness again and again out the ass. It is so plain, even goatse it for what it is. By way of analogy, these hangers-on have put a stain upon us all, when they are the ones who are full of shit. Yes, I am quick to poo poo such tactics, because I will not sit down for it, especially when I am on a roll.
Anonymous

I’m doing a project on toilet paper and i was wondering if you could tell me exactly where you found that ad so i can cite it as a primary source.
Anonymous

“I can testify that as late as the back end of the 1970s English primary schools had what was in effect low-grade tracing paper as toilet roll.”

Yup… same story here… California, late 80′s, public school, it was AWFUL! Seriously… I’d wait until I got home… even if that meant some discomfort thru the day…

‘Course, the other conditions of the facility were deplorable… it’s amazing how fast 10-year-old boys can totally demolish a restroom…

Capcha: “nice give”… kinda ironic, no?
dilinger

Gosh, particularly unsafe? I’m glad I got that bidet, and can now bypass the whole issue.
Anonymous

I’ve encountered a glassine envelope form of TP in a few places in Europe. I think that stuff actually could be dangerous.
batu b

biffy, biffy, biffy. The retrofit bidet for your toilet. It makes me wonder why tp even exists really – squirting a dash of water on yer hole is MUCH more civilized and clean.
Jeff9

Better not to even make the toilet paper…..anywhere! This covers all the bases = saves you money, helps the environment, helps your health, makes you feel better, it’s so easy to do and it costs less than $50.00; Save money and the Earth and be clean at the same time! Add Bathroom Bidet Sprayers to all your bathrooms. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: “if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn’t wipe it off with paper, would you? You’d wash it offâ€ Available at http://www.bathroomsprayers.com with these you won’t even need toilet paper any more, just a towel to dry off! Donâ€™t worry, you can still leave some out for guests and can even make it the soft stuff without feeling guilty. It’s cheap and can be installed without a plumber; and runs off the same water line to your toilet. You’ll probably pay for it in a few months of toilet paper savings. As for water use a drought is always a concern and must be dealt with prudently but please remember that in the big picture the industrial water users always far exceed the water use of household users and in the case of toilet paper manufacture it is huge. The pollution and significant power use from that manufacturing process also contributes to global warming so switching to a hand bidet sprayer is green in many ways.
hisdevineshadow

Until the secret of the three seashells are revealed, tp is the only way to go! (Except for those old timers who prefer corncobs.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mFuB0gsNAA
jimmosk

Equally fine is the “giving your employees substandard toilet paper will stir up unrest and come back to bite you in the end [as it were]” approach of this gem:
http://i.bnet.com/blogs/scot-tissue-blosheviks.jpg
kmoser

Please, think of the children’s asses.

Wait, that didn’t sound right.
EFDisaster

I just wanted to say that the use of the word Bumwad reminds me of my dad. He used it whenever we needed to add it to our shopping list, or when he wanted to complain about how much every on the family wasted every time they used the toilet. Thanks for the memories
Stefan Jones

Scare tactics aside . . . I’ve seen pictures of the “polished” toilet paper of old, and can’t imagine it being very comfortable or effective.
mellowknees

As someone who used to be dirt freaking poor and had to buy Scott toilet paper because it was ultimately the cheapest (1,000 sheets per roll was a really good deal), I have to say that this ad is totally ironic. Has anyone used Scott toilet paper lately? That stuff is like SANDPAPER. “As soft as old linen” my ass (no pun intended). More like “As soft as some burlap that mated with a Brillo pad”.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  You need to develop some calluses.
- Anonymous
  
  There’s the old joke:
  
  “Q: What’s the difference between (for instance) Scott T.P. and sandpaper?
  
  “A: Sandpaper is smooth on one side.”
  
  Har har. Substitute any brand name, your dorm, whatever.
Stefan Jones

This ad is even harsher. Some poor woman bedridden through coarse TP:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/21233184@N02/4322687998/
Anonymous

People spend thousands of years wiping their butts with everything from old leaves to corn cobs to scaly, callused hands, only to be brought low by the harshness of Industrial Age toilet paper.

We am play gods.
PapayaSF

While there’s no doubt that the ad is playing on fears, I agree with the posters above that the fears weren’t just hype. Us postmoderns with our luxuriously soft TP have no idea what our recent ancestors had to suffer through. Getting a splinter or paper cut down there in the pre-antibiotic era could easily mean a trip to the hospital (and if you were lucky, a trip home from the hospital).
Anonymous

“Harsh, glazed toilet papers may have a real cutting edge.”

Glazed?

I think they’re comparing their product to magazine or catalog pages. I know whereof they speak. It was the 70′s, it was in Northern Ontario and, yes, we were that poor.

Oh, Yea, verily sir, I have wiped my ass with the Sears Catalog. In an outhouse. By candlelight. In January. It did not lead to enlightenment.