Atheist Barbie


After coming across photos of an Episcopal Priest Barbie, Jen McCreight of Blag Hag designed an Atheist Barbie. (Via Cynical-C)



    1. FSM is not to be worshiped. He is but a holy tool in the fight against creative ‘science’.

    2. That the flying spaghetti monster thing is meant to be satire/mocking religion (specially the “teach the controversy” ID stuff in schools) and nobody actually worships it? I’m an atheist with a FSM shirt.

    3. Repent! Quit your job! Slack off! The World ENDS TOMORROW and YOU MAY DIE!!!! What the FSM is missing, like all the other religions, is originality.

    4. Atheism qualifies for worshipping the Flying Spaghetti Monster because Pastafarianism is a spoof religion. It’s a big intelligently put together essay on why religion is wrong.

  1. Man, I’m tired of all these stereotypes. I mean, you eat one baby for lunch and all of a sudden people think that it is some kind of atheistic thing.

  2. Where is the Atheist Ken doll? I’m thinking they would make a cute couple. They can ride in their miniature convertible with a Darwin sticker on the back.

    1. Dunno about Ken. He might have to take a back seat to Sun Lovin’ Malibu Skipper this time.

    2. I think Atheist Ken is currently rehabbing a Victorian town house with a kung-fu grip G.I. Joe from 1974.

  3. My favorite Barbie was out several years ago. Trailer Park Barbie. Low cut halter top, extremely short blue jean cutoffs with parts of her butt hanging out, a cigarette hanging from her lips, and a baby on her hip. The box said, :”Daddy says I am the best french kisser in the county”

  4. Wow! It’s like looking in a mirror! How did they know?! And who told about the orgies, that’s supposed to be our little secret ;)

  5. And yet, the overall impression is still blonde Sarah Palin. Maybe Barbie dolls don’t suffer from quite same ideological schisms as the rest of the doll world.

  6. Antinious, I was thinking she looks more like a blonde Lisa Loeb.

    @MRKiscaden – I applaude you!

  7. There is an inconsistency here. Shouldn’t she be wearing Depends in keeping with her convictions?

  8. A whole baby for lunch? I call shenanigans! I myself prefer Babyloaf(TM) slices on rye. That way you get the full complement of baby nutrients and only half the fat and calories!

  9. Rather than going pantless, the atheists I know prefer “tear-away” pants, in order to both better blend in and to protect tender nether regions from our nippy climate.

  10. *** Uh, Atheists qualify for Flying Spaghetti Monster worship? What am I missing here? ***

    Uh, pretty much the whole point, I’d say.

  11. I’m just going to get my daughter the Unitarian Barbie, with the coffee pot and copier.

  12. I am laughing so hard i almost can’t breathe.

    I own that tshirt!

    My hair is blonde (when it’s not purple)!

    Though i lack the FSM necklace, i do have one of a d20 and another of serotonin, acetylcholine, and tyrosine!

    Finally, a barbie who represents an actual RL female.

    Though, i’ve never consumed an infant. The resemblance stops there.

  13. Snopes thing is awesome. Sounds like someone’s a bit sore on having their fw:fw:fw: mail scrutinized.

  14. I don’t think she’d really go out with much of anyone since she’s perpetually ready for the surprise orgy. I get the baby thing, with enough bbq sauce they down wellI’m confused about the Snopes. Is that to spot a scam or see if anyone has caught on to her latest one? I see no reason that Ken should have to take a back seat to Skipper. In fact, I think she and Ken would be in the back seat making out on the way to the latest orgy that appeared on Barbie’s twitter.

  15. Me too! Though I’m heavier in my old age.

    My Barbie looked more like the “Mackie” face, unlike superstar’s vapidness.

    I researched her extensively, and I’m still unsure of her identity. The closest I was able to get was Twist’N’Turn Growin’ Hair Barbie or somesuch.

    I got her glasses like mine too. Me? Polyamorous Ethical Slut.

  16. This Atheist Barbie will give men unrealistic expectations regarding what female atheists look like, and puts unnecessary pressure on atheist women to conform to a particular standard of beauty.

  17. I’m sorry, an atheist Barbie that well organized only attends orgies that have been scheduled well in advance, with printed rules and signed waivers.

    Not that I’d know anything about that…

  18. I love the “lunch.” What’s really sad is there is a significant portion of the population who literally believes those things about atheists.

  19. I’m an atheist and I am just shocked to find out I’ve been doing it wrong all this time. I have never eaten a baby or been involved in, let alone invited to, an orgy! I feel so disillusioned. Is it because I wear pants??

  20. So strenuous! I’m way too lazy to think about atheism, but it seems to be a kind of spiritual vagina — empty, but don’t try to rub it uninvited.

  21. So an atheist and an agnostic are meeting at the coffee shop. The atheist is already there, stirring his coffee, when his agnostic friend runs in, excited. “The strangest thing just happened to me–I saw a UFO…”

    The Atheist interrupts his friend, clearly agitated. “What are you going on about? The existence of life on other planets has never been proven, so what you saw is clearly your imagination! Modern-day fairies playing through your fatigued mind! Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me there’s some magic sky guy who killed his kid so we could all be happy!”

    The agnostic waited a moment to see if his friend had more to say, then arched and eyebrow and asked,

    “What part of ‘unidentified’ is hard to comprehend, anyway?”

    (I have more respect for agnostics–you’re entitled to your beliefs, but when you’re trying to eschew what you see as superstition, try to do it without committing basic logical fallacies.)

  22. What would Talking Atheist Barbie say? “God is hard!”…?

    Because that would make for one surprise orgy for Atheist Barbie, let me tell you.

  23. I’ve been an atheist since I was 13. I have yet to encounter my first surprise orgy. What am I doing wrong?

  24. Atheists have orgies with cute girls in geek glasses? I guess agnostics just have to settle for handjobs.

  25. Can someone explain the doll in the lunch bag for me?

    This is great! I want an athiest barbie for Christmas, since Easter (the celebration of the slaying of the lord) has past. ;)

  26. My first surprise atheist orgy I thought I was at a regular surprise orgy until I heard people moaning, “Oh Science! Don’t stop.”

  27. I’m all for Atheist Barbie. But really she should be wearing field pants, because she’s going to be outside doing something interesting.

    Meanwhile, atheism does not imply anything sexual. I guess this really means that the creator of this Barbie believes we would be out doing everyone in sight if it weren’t for a religious injunction. Good to know that….

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