Comments on: Competition! Design the Haggis beast that roams Scotland http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html Brain candy for Happy Mutants Sun, 19 May 2013 23:46:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Galadriel http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768769 Galadriel Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768769 The Haggis Beast is a terrible semi-humanoid with green skin, "facial" warts, knobbly digits and a call that resembles a hideous cackle. It's quite dangerous, attempting to trick young adventuresome men (so they'll go away) or lure young women/small children to its abode for eventual consumption. In fact, it's the inspiration for the mythical "hag," but of course it's only an animal and therefore edible. Unfortunately, it's only partly edible, even to the renowned-for-their-ingenuity-in-using-every-bit Scots. The only part that can be eaten is an oval ellipsoid of meat that protrudes from the front of the chest, ending in a small protuberance at the end. Fortunately, each Haggis Beast has two of them, side by side, on their semi-humanoid chest. When the harvest from the Haggis Beast cooked, the green color of their skin becomes a more palatable shade. I attempted to illustrate this terrifying creature, but the result was so vile I may not show it to you. The Haggis Beast is a terrible semi-humanoid with green skin, “facial” warts, knobbly digits and a call that resembles a hideous cackle. It’s quite dangerous, attempting to trick young adventuresome men (so they’ll go away) or lure young women/small children to its abode for eventual consumption. In fact, it’s the inspiration for the mythical “hag,” but of course it’s only an animal and therefore edible.

Unfortunately, it’s only partly edible, even to the renowned-for-their-ingenuity-in-using-every-bit Scots. The only part that can be eaten is an oval ellipsoid of meat that protrudes from the front of the chest, ending in a small protuberance at the end. Fortunately, each Haggis Beast has two of them, side by side, on their semi-humanoid chest. When the harvest from the Haggis Beast cooked, the green color of their skin becomes a more palatable shade.

I attempted to illustrate this terrifying creature, but the result was so vile I may not show it to you.

]]> By: wooee http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-771841 wooee Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-771841 The Haggis in all of his lumpiness. http://www.wooee.blogspot.com/ The Haggis in all of his lumpiness.

http://www.wooee.blogspot.com/

]]> By: connor http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769036 connor Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769036 as a scot, i can confirm that <a href="http://i.cr3ation.co.uk/dl/s1/jpg/94a5cbf165ad67813f4c26af621efcef_haggisinwild2.jpg">this</a> is the true haggis. it has remained as yet uncaptured due to its fearsome horn. it is thought to be directly descended from manatees. as a scot, i can confirm that this is the true haggis. it has remained as yet uncaptured due to its fearsome horn. it is thought to be directly descended from manatees.

]]> By: rub http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769293 rub Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769293 The Haggis beast is for sure a kind of chimera... My entry: http://r-u-b.deviantart.com/art/Haggis-Beast-161913565 The Haggis beast is for sure a kind of chimera…

My entry:
http://r-u-b.deviantart.com/art/Haggis-Beast-161913565

]]> By: big ryan http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-770061 big ryan Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-770061 i think of the haggis more of a mutated monster of some kind http://burkevector.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/the-haggis-lives.jpg i think of the haggis more of a mutated monster of some kind

http://burkevector.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/the-haggis-lives.jpg

]]> By: PrettyBoyTim http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769295 PrettyBoyTim Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769295 http://www.planettimmy.com/2010/04/25/the-haggis/ The Haggis is a creature found in Scotland, created from the dreams only of a true-born Scot. Scotland in unique among all the countries of the world in that certain vapours escape through the earth’s crust where they are fermented in the Scottish lochs before escaping into the wider atmosphere. These vapours are breathed in by the Scottish where they gradually build up in the blood in only the minutest quantities. Babies exposed to these compounds in the womb are more susceptible to absorbing these vapours and as a result only a 10th-generation Scot or better will have enough of the compound in their blood to produce a haggis. What happens is this: When a true-born Scot dreams, they slowly produce a ‘boillsgeach braghairt’, an ephemeral tubular creature that will flit around in the night before ascending to heaven at sunrise. These creatures are normally barely visible and most people disregard them as a trick of the light. However, the consistency and behaviour of a boillsgeach braghairt will change depending on what the dreamer is dreaming and when a true-born Scot dreams of the rolling Scottish hills and the sweet scent of the Scottish heather a slightly different creature is born, a ‘fleòdradh braghairt’. There are more substantial creatures that can be captured with the use of a hook and line, but have very tough flesh and an exceptionally bitter taste. The fleòdradh braghairt were viewed as useless until a Scot named Domhnall Gille Mhuire worked out that the fleòdradh braghairt could be transformed into something delicious if the dreaming Scot had been drinking alcohol the night before. Different drinks give the haggis a slightly different taste, so it is well worth going on a Haggis eating course, where you will be presented with Haggis resulting from many different dreams and beverages (Personally I recommend a haggis borne from a Scot dreaming of the Dornoch Firth who had been drinking ‘Glen Garioch’). When a true Haggis is born, rather than appearing above its dreamer’s head, it will appear in the landscape of the dreamer’s dream – hence haggis-catchers (‘prainnseag-sealgair’) will camp out in Scotland’s areas of outstanding natural beauty and hunt in the small hours of the morning. Hunting the haggis is quite simple. A rotting vegetable (often a cabbage) is soaked in vinegar and scotch and put on a wooden spike. The Haggis is attracted by the smell but knocked out by the scotch. After that the prainnseag-sealgair can just despatch the haggis by knocking it on the head end and then the wings are dissolved off by rubbing it in pig fat and immersing it in a stream for 3 days. http://www.planettimmy.com/2010/04/25/the-haggis/

The Haggis is a creature found in Scotland, created from the dreams only of a true-born Scot. Scotland in unique among all the countries of the world in that certain vapours escape through the earth’s crust where they are fermented in the Scottish lochs before escaping into the wider atmosphere. These vapours are breathed in by the Scottish where they gradually build up in the blood in only the minutest quantities. Babies exposed to these compounds in the womb are more susceptible to absorbing these vapours and as a result only a 10th-generation Scot or better will have enough of the compound in their blood to produce a haggis.

What happens is this: When a true-born Scot dreams, they slowly produce a ‘boillsgeach braghairt’, an ephemeral tubular creature that will flit around in the night before ascending to heaven at sunrise. These creatures are normally barely visible and most people disregard them as a trick of the light. However, the consistency and behaviour of a boillsgeach braghairt will change depending on what the dreamer is dreaming and when a true-born Scot dreams of the rolling Scottish hills and the sweet scent of the Scottish heather a slightly different creature is born, a ‘fleòdradh braghairt’. There are more substantial creatures that can be captured with the use of a hook and line, but have very tough flesh and an exceptionally bitter taste.

The fleòdradh braghairt were viewed as useless until a Scot named Domhnall Gille Mhuire worked out that the fleòdradh braghairt could be transformed into something delicious if the dreaming Scot had been drinking alcohol the night before. Different drinks give the haggis a slightly different taste, so it is well worth going on a Haggis eating course, where you will be presented with Haggis resulting from many different dreams and beverages (Personally I recommend a haggis borne from a Scot dreaming of the Dornoch Firth who had been drinking ‘Glen Garioch’).

When a true Haggis is born, rather than appearing above its dreamer’s head, it will appear in the landscape of the dreamer’s dream – hence haggis-catchers (‘prainnseag-sealgair’) will camp out in Scotland’s areas of outstanding natural beauty and hunt in the small hours of the morning.

Hunting the haggis is quite simple. A rotting vegetable (often a cabbage) is soaked in vinegar and scotch and put on a wooden spike. The Haggis is attracted by the smell but knocked out by the scotch. After that the prainnseag-sealgair can just despatch the haggis by knocking it on the head end and then the wings are dissolved off by rubbing it in pig fat and immersing it in a stream for 3 days.

]]> By: Tom http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769297 Tom Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769297 Busted... http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/1277/haggis.jpg Busted… http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/1277/haggis.jpg

]]> By: adonai http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768791 adonai Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768791 Silly Rob. <A HREF="http://uk-secured.com/thescottishtouch/images/full/tp-o21.jpg">This is what a haggis looks like!</A> Silly Rob. This is what a haggis looks like!

]]> By: dachicityguy http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769562 dachicityguy Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769562 The Haggis is a ferocious beast, although sightings are quite rare. I managed to capture a picture of the magnificent monstrosity the last time i was out hiking the highlands and have discovered that, quite contrary to popular belief, the Haggis is actually a member of the bird family!!! Enclosed is my picture, which I believe is of a young pre-pubescent male in the act of hunting. http://tinypic.com/r/28bbn6q/5 The Haggis is a ferocious beast, although sightings are quite rare. I managed to capture a picture of the magnificent monstrosity the last time i was out hiking the highlands and have discovered that, quite contrary to popular belief, the Haggis is actually a member of the bird family!!! Enclosed is my picture, which I believe is of a young pre-pubescent male in the act of hunting. http://tinypic.com/r/28bbn6q/5

]]> By: Ed Frome http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769565 Ed Frome Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769565 I always though the haggis was a fairly docile beast ...and a vegetarian. http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/1277/haggis.jpg I always though the haggis was a fairly docile beast
…and a vegetarian.

http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/1277/haggis.jpg

]]> By: artaxerxes http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768802 artaxerxes Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768802 To me, it looks like a kind omnivorous beast. A chubby platypus, stripped of its beak before cooking (poor thing), but well fed by friendly seniors who scatter oatmeal and offal by the handful while lazing about on park benches near lakes. Definitely the kind of beast who, when brought to the vet, would evoke an exhortation against overfeeding one's pet. "It should have a waist!" says the kindly, yet mis-guided veterinarian. To me, it looks like a kind omnivorous beast. A chubby platypus, stripped of its beak before cooking (poor thing), but well fed by friendly seniors who scatter oatmeal and offal by the handful while lazing about on park benches near lakes. Definitely the kind of beast who, when brought to the vet, would evoke an exhortation against overfeeding one’s pet. “It should have a waist!” says the kindly, yet mis-guided veterinarian.

]]> By: Kex Luthor http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769571 Kex Luthor Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769571 Here's what I have for you, I hope it hasn't been done already. http://KexLuthor.deviantart.com/art/Alien-Haggis-162004727 Here’s what I have for you, I hope it hasn’t been done already.

http://KexLuthor.deviantart.com/art/Alien-Haggis-162004727

]]> By: ulk http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769323 ulk Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769323 Here be a haggis, it'll nip yer toes off. http://www.spooning.co.uk/haggis.jpg Here be a haggis, it’ll nip yer toes off.

http://www.spooning.co.uk/haggis.jpg

]]> By: shadywood http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768812 shadywood Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768812 Aargh! My daughters will never forgive me for posting their artworks without logging in! I'm not anonymous, I'm Shadywood! Aargh! My daughters will never forgive me for posting their artworks without logging in! I’m not anonymous, I’m Shadywood!

]]> By: Creep http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768816 Creep Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768816 Here's what I whipped up. http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4048/4547637280_8a707e2cdb.jpg I kinda want to see how it tastes now. Here’s what I whipped up.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4048/4547637280_8a707e2cdb.jpg

I kinda want to see how it tastes now.

]]> By: zapgunner http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768820 zapgunner Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768820 Shown in the link is a photo of a wild Haggis in it's natural environment. Praised in Scotland not so much for the taste but it's extreme ease in catching. The Haggis is a mainstay of celebratory dinners throughout Scotland, and lucky is the boy or girl who finds one of the "magic teeth" in a mouthful. Also, for some unknown reason, the Haggis is believed to bestow wild verility to any Scotsman who eats of it's flesh, while a lassie who can down a whole Haggis is considered a fine catch indeed. http://s206.photobucket.com/albums/bb302/zapgunner/Haggis/?action=view&current=Haggisinnaturalenvironment.jpg Shown in the link is a photo of a wild Haggis in it’s natural environment. Praised in Scotland not so much for the taste but it’s extreme ease in catching. The Haggis is a mainstay of celebratory dinners throughout Scotland, and lucky is the boy or girl who finds one of the “magic teeth” in a mouthful.

Also, for some unknown reason, the Haggis is believed to bestow wild verility to any Scotsman who eats of it’s flesh, while a lassie who can down a whole Haggis is considered a fine catch indeed.

http://s206.photobucket.com/albums/bb302/zapgunner/Haggis/?action=view&current=Haggisinnaturalenvironment.jpg

]]> By: grikdog http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768821 grikdog Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768821 Haggis is simply the larval stage, as all Scotsmen ken, of the Loch Ness monster. It hatches among the crags and braes, eyeless, brainless and mouthless in the normal sense, having a circular array of inward pointing needle teeth with which it attaches itself to the nasal passages of sheep and by a slow, natural, if ovine, peristaltic migration acquires its customary contents. In its next phase, the wee beastie sheds its pointy teeth and grows instead a triad of bony plates arranged like the Tri-Force, at which point it becomes an oat eater with emergent limbs, making its way slowly downhill, whilst getting more and more bloated in the process. All highlanders recognize the haggis on sight by its peculiar habit of locomotion and shun it vigorously, especially the intensely malodorous greenish-black varieties but all are equally objectionable -- except in the case of visiting Englishmen, in honor of which occasion, the young monster is caught, decapitated, boiled and brought to table as a rare delicacy. It was no doubt a nearly fully-grown haggis that Saint Columba saw returning to the Loch, all those centuries ago. Haggis is simply the larval stage, as all Scotsmen ken, of the Loch Ness monster. It hatches among the crags and braes, eyeless, brainless and mouthless in the normal sense, having a circular array of inward pointing needle teeth with which it attaches itself to the nasal passages of sheep and by a slow, natural, if ovine, peristaltic migration acquires its customary contents. In its next phase, the wee beastie sheds its pointy teeth and grows instead a triad of bony plates arranged like the Tri-Force, at which point it becomes an oat eater with emergent limbs, making its way slowly downhill, whilst getting more and more bloated in the process. All highlanders recognize the haggis on sight by its peculiar habit of locomotion and shun it vigorously, especially the intensely malodorous greenish-black varieties but all are equally objectionable — except in the case of visiting Englishmen, in honor of which occasion, the young monster is caught, decapitated, boiled and brought to table as a rare delicacy. It was no doubt a nearly fully-grown haggis that Saint Columba saw returning to the Loch, all those centuries ago.

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-770615 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-770615 Star Wars beat us to the punch http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/File:Shaak-AotC.jpg Star Wars beat us to the punch

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/File:Shaak-AotC.jpg

]]> By: Anonymous http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769856 Anonymous Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769856 Although this is not an entry for the competition I thought I would share this photo from the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum in Glasgow http://tinyurl.com/22mc4ac It's been there for years and always gets lots of interest and comments from visitors Although this is not an entry for the competition I thought I would share this photo from the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum in Glasgow

http://tinyurl.com/22mc4ac

It’s been there for years and always gets lots of interest and comments from visitors

]]> By: Nater http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769601 Nater Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769601 Excellent entries all, but I must say, my favourite is #56 by Tom, with special mention to Ed Frome @ #63 Well done everybody. Excellent entries all, but I must say, my favourite is #56 by Tom, with special mention to Ed Frome @ #63

Well done everybody.

]]> By: Newspaper Nells http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-770627 Newspaper Nells Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-770627 I had read that some breeds of Haggis have legs of different lengths so that they can stand on the steep hills of their native homeland without discomfort. This particular breed evolved shorter left legs, presumably so that they can keep their noses upwind. http://www.taryntrousdale.com/nells/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/haggis.jpg I had read that some breeds of Haggis have legs of different lengths so that they can stand on the steep hills of their native homeland without discomfort. This particular breed evolved shorter left legs, presumably so that they can keep their noses upwind.

http://www.taryntrousdale.com/nells/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/haggis.jpg

]]> By: saru http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769098 saru Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769098 I think it would have to look alot like the mythical <a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html">Alot</a>. I think it would have to look alot like the mythical Alot.

]]> By: Noctuidae http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768856 Noctuidae Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768856 Bagpuss did it first: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bERkPQ6Elvw Bagpuss did it first:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bERkPQ6Elvw

]]> By: hassan-i-sabbah http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768857 hassan-i-sabbah Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768857 Brilliant!Worthy of Ivor Cutler! Brilliant!Worthy of Ivor Cutler!

]]> By: Evan4sh http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769116 Evan4sh Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769116 I hope I don't lose points for bad sbelling. I hope I don’t lose points for bad sbelling.

]]> By: wychwolf http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769885 wychwolf Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769885 My Entry, sweet and ginger, well orange... http://www.strangebiros.co.uk/2010/04/boing-boing-haggis.html My Entry, sweet and ginger, well orange…

http://www.strangebiros.co.uk/2010/04/boing-boing-haggis.html

]]> By: Ryan Thomason http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768862 Ryan Thomason Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768862 I found myself pondering the Haggis Question just last month: http://www.tezoarillustration.com/weblog/archives/718 It'll bite your knees off! I found myself pondering the Haggis Question just last month: http://www.tezoarillustration.com/weblog/archives/718

It’ll bite your knees off!

]]> By: Freddie Freelance http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768611 Freddie Freelance Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768611 Spotted roaming the Highlands with it's Mate? http://sattlers.org/mickey/culture/clothing/kilts/images/2005-02-charles-in-kilt-2.jpg Spotted roaming the Highlands with it’s Mate?

http://sattlers.org/mickey/culture/clothing/kilts/images/2005-02-charles-in-kilt-2.jpg

]]> By: TVSA http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-768613 TVSA Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-768613 I would think that the haggis is a wide-bodied sheepish creature with a dished-out back that holds a fair square of earth perfectly suited to growing oats. With the creatures movements the movable feast of a sheave of oats drops within cropping distance, sustaining the creature throughout its life time. The wily scots keep an eye on the mighty haggis, and at the end of the peak oat growth season, they cull the herd of its fattest specimens. I would think that the haggis is a wide-bodied sheepish creature with a dished-out back that holds a fair square of earth perfectly suited to growing oats. With the creatures movements the movable feast of a sheave of oats drops within cropping distance, sustaining the creature throughout its life time. The wily scots keep an eye on the mighty haggis, and at the end of the peak oat growth season, they cull the herd of its fattest specimens.

]]> By: Cigarsam http://boingboing.net/2010/04/23/competition-design-t.html#comment-769125 Cigarsam Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 #comment-769125 The former owner of Wiggly's Market in Kansas City MO at the end of the 19th century was known as "The Haggis Beast". However, as far as I know, he spent no time in Scotland. Thus can not be the source of this legend. (Some of you may recognize his cute little face from his recent appearance on Antiques Roadshow.) http://lh6.ggpht.com/_PxgJn79Bu9E/S9N5leMFbeI/AAAAAAAAGeM/87Q-sJc5qJY/WigglysMarket.jpg The former owner of Wiggly’s Market in Kansas City MO at the end of the 19th century was known as “The Haggis Beast”. However, as far as I know, he spent no time in Scotland. Thus can not be the source of this legend.
(Some of you may recognize his cute little face from his recent appearance on Antiques Roadshow.)

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_PxgJn79Bu9E/S9N5leMFbeI/AAAAAAAAGeM/87Q-sJc5qJY/WigglysMarket.jpg

]]>