By Mark Frauenfelder at 1:26 pm Fri, Apr 23, 2010
The stuff of nightmares. (Via Cynical-C)
I HATE ostriches! They creep me out so much.
“Daddy, I want a pony!”
“Very well, I shall grant your request… provisionally.”
HU-MANS! HU-MANS! HU-MANS!
WOOOO! Stupid ostrich :D
That would be grounds for making ostrich burgers for dinner.
I feel bad for the ostrich. What can I tell you? I love animals and hate people.
Watching this video made me want to kill the ostrich. Rationally that is the wrong decision, and rationally I would blame the father for having his daughter on a donkey in a field with wild birds in it.
All that said, something about the little girl yelling hit some evolutionary que for me.
LOL, excuse me while I go chase my arse, I laughed it off and it’s bouncing down the street!
Johhny Cash and the Ostrich
Looks like Dad is being pretty abusive to the ostrich, kicking it around after he rescues the kid.
This is the stuff dreams are made of.
Abusive to the ostrich? If I was a father I’m pretty sure I would kick it around until it ran away or was dead. Ostriches are more dangerous than you might think. They have claws that could easily unzip an adult.
The kid was riding a pony, maybe a mini. Possibly a mule, but it’s difficult to tell when they’re fuzzy. A donkey runs across at the end of the video, but it’s a different animal. His ears a shorter than normal for a donk, but he has a tufted tail.
I know this makes me a very bad person; but after the father booted the bird, I really wanted to see the bird turn on the father and savagely attack him until he was crying even worse than his bratty kid. (Yes, I’d make a terrible father. I accept that; which is why I don’t have kids.)
“I know this makes me a very bad person; but after the father booted the bird, I really wanted to see the bird turn on the father and savagely attack him until he was crying even worse than his bratty kid.”
Honestly, that ostrich only came up to the dad’s waist, and its head was only to his chest — had to be a 5+-to-1 weight differential. Speaking as a dad, with the adrenaline in you after running down a bird attacking your child, if that thing had honestly tried to turn on him, he’d have f’ing killed it with his bare hands (or perhaps with the aid of a folder knife from his pocket — *always* good to have on-hand when interacting with wild game).
But my sense is that maybe he’s the owner of the place/farm, and that’s why he went relatively easy on the bird.
Aw, come on. Piss on the dad all you want, but the kid wasn’t doing anything bratty. And he wasn’t taunting the bird.
He fell off his ride and got scared for a good reason. Poor li’l guy.
Don’t get me wrong, I hate people too – I really do. And I looooove sweet critters. But somehow I feel children aren’t real people yet. They’re so small, and really the only excuse you as a modern man have to go all ape on someone. Suppressed anger outlet. I’ll take it, man or bird.
I’m pretty sure this was the ostrich in question.
That bird got off waaaay easy. I’d’ve been grilling up ostrich burgers that evening.
I think the lesson here is don’t chase the kid if his dad is standing nearby, and he outweighs you 5 to 1.
I BennyHillified it:
The mule totally steals the scene.
I think it is a boy named Thomas. If that was my kid, I would’ve ran about 19 times faster than that slowpoke.
Then again, maybe the dad is sick of his kid screaming.
“There goes Thomas, F’ing with the ostriches again. I’ll let the ostrich get him a little bit first, so he learns better next time”.
I didn’t see an attack. I saw aggressive behaviour and a scared kid. What I did see however.. was the father(?) kicking the ostrich.
I’d’ve gone for the neck-break, but how do you do that to such a neck? I’m on the burgers side of the bar.
Damn it, the ostrich missed its mark again… back to places, everybody!
To all of the “oh poor bird” people out there- sorry, but if that bird went after my child I would have no problem killing it. And really, would any parent care what PETA would say at that moment?
i’m with sapere_aude, was definitely hoping the bird would turn on the dad… this is great.
The best part is the random mule/donkey/ass at the :20 mark being all “peace out, bitches!”
Because animals make great toys! And food!
that ostrich wasn’t very big — maybe an adolescent. i’ve seen full grown ones that are truly terrifying. their claws are nothing to trifle about, that’s for sure.
WTF is anyone doing letting their kid play anywhere near an ostrich? Those things are seriously bad-ass!
An ostrich bit me when I was little, I was trying to feed it some hay through the bars at the zoo. Those gigantic birds are terrifying.
The exact same thing happened to me as a child. *sobs* It stole my innocence. I thought I was the only one. You’re not alone, brother. Stay strong.
Emu’s are way scarier than das ostrich. And here’s a picture of one eating out of my hand
The emu’s name is Elvis, he lives in Bunbury, Western Australia, and he is a terrible pickpocket. Well, when I say terrible, I mean that he isn’t very good at it. But he persists.
Ostrich punt FTW
I think he would have got away if he didn’t fall off the horse. Once you are on the ground you’re as good as velociraptor chow.
This is another of those cases in which I have to wonder why this record exists, i.e., why didn’t the person with the camera drop it and go help the kid out?
The person behind the camera (dad, I presume) did help out, albeit starting with a lazy jog. The camera is stationary/mounted (no camera shake).
Now if there was a person behind the camera… their actions were totally inexcusable: they missed filming the best part.
@ Anon â€¢ #5
No kidding. The ostrich got the worst of that and the father/guardian/whatever deserved the worst of it.
An honest mistake. Everyone knows the ostrich is the sworn enemy of the centaur.
the bird in question is in fact a south american rhea. i know, because i lived this as a child, raising them in indiana, sans donkey. trick is, grab him by the neck.
The dad might be not as overprotective as some other parents, but that does not necessarily make him a bad father. BTW, he speaks german (with Austrian dialect), saying:
Hold on to it – pull – Hit it – Hit it – Simply hit it – You have to hit it
Granted, the bar was not set all that high in the first place, but the chuckle factor of the comments has now surpassed that of the video.
There you are..all smug and haughty on your friggen pony. And bam!!..LOL..
I hate kids who get pony rides..cause..it’s a long story..sob..
doh. i don’t see a vicious attack here. this video sucks because there is nothing to see.
and the kid does not need any help. the kid could easily strangle the ostrich. the mule is far more dangerous than this 5kg ostrich.
the mule is far more dangerous than this 5kg ostrich.
Ostriches usually weigh from 63 to 130 kilograms (140â€“290 lb), with exceptional male Ostriches weighing up to 155 kilograms (340 lb)…At sexual maturity (two to four years), male Ostriches can be from 1.8 to 2.8 metres (5 ft 11 in to 9 ft 2 in) in height, while female Ostriches range from 1.7 to 2 metres (5 ft 7 in to 6 ft 7 in). – Wikipedia
Or if it’s a rhea…
Males of R. americana can reach 1.50 metres (4.9 ft), and weigh up to 40 kilograms (88 lb). – Wikipedia
Perhaps you were thinking of a chicken.
Whatever possessed these idiots to leave a child (and adult for that matter) unsupervised in the same paddock as an ostriches.
I thought it was common knowlege that ostriches can be fairly aggressive and are more than capable of literally kicking the living shit out of an adult.
Wow, I can’t believe the guy didn’t run to help. An ostrich can REALLY hurt you, even if it is an adolescent.
The ostrich is the smart one.
A MÃ¸Ã¸se once bit my sister …
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the mÃ¸Ã¸se with the sharpened end of an interspace tÃ¸Ã¸thbrush given her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian mÃ¸vies: “The HÃ¸t Hands of an Oslo entist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge MÃ¸lars of Horst Nordfink”.
Mynd you, mÃ¸Ã¸se bites Kan be pretty nasti…
I shouldn’t laugh. Mind you, if anything, the guy will no doubt be pilloried for his (mercifully off-camera) smack-down of the ostrich.
I too was bitten by an Ostrich. I was given some generic kibble to feed animals at Parc Safari in Quebec when I was around 7 or 8. I fed it to a camel that swallowed my arm to the elbow, and an Ostrich that pecked the crap out of my hand. THAT place is the stuff of nightmares.
I’m sort of embarrassed to admit, the traumatized kid in me enjoyed seeing that Ostrich/Rhea getting a boot to the head.
Not long ago, I was convinced to enter an ostrich enclosure/orchard covered in high grass. As I crept through the weeds, an ostrich suddenly reared its head over the grass not 20 feet in front of me. Instantly, the scene from Jurassic Park came to mind where Robert Muldoon spots a velociraptor in the distance only to be suddenly flanked by another. “Clever girl.”
How is this a wonderful thing?
Apparently, Ultan did not get the memo.
Animals attacking children and making them cry. Wonderful. I’ll check my inbox again for the memo.
A youth without tears is a youth wasted. The kid learned a valuable lesson here: Do not taunt happy fun ostrich. Free range kids etc.
The best part has to be the ostrich/rhea at the end running off all “oh crap crap crap, this one’s a lot bigger than the other one!!!”
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