Naked scanner reveals airport screener's tiny penis, sparks steel baton fight with fellow officers

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99 Responses to “Naked scanner reveals airport screener's tiny penis, sparks steel baton fight with fellow officers”

  1. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Based on his photo, I suspect that this is a case of fat folds.

  2. asuffield says:

    Wait, is that one of those printouts that it is impossible for airport staff to make? We all remember those, right?

  3. EarthtoGeoff says:

    Is this not sexual harassment in the workplace? Did he report it to his supervisor? Was his supervisor in on the mocking? Was it limited to men making fun of him? Does that matter?

    The news reports I read all focus on the attack, but I’m just confused why/how it could get to the point where this man thought his only recourse was to attack, especially in a world where you can make a lot of money by threatening employers with lawsuits.

  4. EarthtoGeoff says:

    BTW @Dan Mac, your use of the term “small talk” in this context is priceless.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Not sure we are allowed to opt out in Britain – think they refuse to let you fly and put your name on a list (what with living in a democracy and everything)

    • pignoli says:

      Really? Can anyone confirm this? I don’t particularly care about my junk being on view, but like #4 I would refuse on principle, however I don’t want to mess up my honeymoon… Could just take Aloisius’ suggestion I suppose!

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes. If you are picked for additional screening, either set off the metal detector, or randomly picked (maybe because the wife looks hot) you must be naked body scanned or you won’t be allowed to fly.
        Facebook: All Facebook Against Airport Full Body Scanners
        Maybe you should boycott and go someplace with more freedom.

  6. bobhughes says:

    Great, not only do they get to play grab-ass with me, they can stare at my naked genitals now and “size me up”. If I was an exhibitionist I’d buy plane tickets every day just for the security line alone.

    But I could tell TSA was full of self-hating, latent-homo ex-schoolyard-bullies long before this. Not all of them of course, but I’d estimate well north of 3/4 of em.

  7. Anonymous says:

    U don’t appreciate criticism that shave it too close, ey…

  8. Dv Revolutionary says:

    I kinda hope the guy beaten with the baton was the supervisor who started the mocking.

    Seriously, can you imagine enduring jokes about your manhood for over a year to hold onto a $12/hr TSA job in this wrecked economy.

    Where is the maturity? Are these people 10-year-olds? Why are they behaving like it?

    There are all kinds of people with all kinds of physical appearances. A flacid penis is nothing like an erect one in size. As Americans have beefed up and fattened up on a corn fed diet and that fat helps estrogen production so far too many american men have bitch-tit and microphalus. I imagine most of them are really uncomfortable with that already. Now because of a horrible compulsion to control everything our congress has the TSA agents are going to have see that with there must have to see every freaking thing scanners. The thing they could do is be humane and understanding but no, that’s not going to happen.

    One thing I can’t freakin stand about the authoritarian bullies (weather these TSA agents, the Abu Garab guards stripping people and pointing, the closet right wing crusaders, or the rethuglican geezer who forwards you the horrible chain mail) is there sexual immaturity. Didn’t these guys grow up? They are not adults but horrible children doing horrible things to others they perceive as different.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Would a cod-piece set off the alarm bells though?

  10. ILoveGadgets says:

    I think that supporters of intrusive security theatre should re-think their catch phrase.

    “If you’ve nothing to hide…”

  11. BritSwedeGuy says:

    He should have just bought an SUV instead – that’s the usual treatment for having a tiny penis.

  12. Church says:

    Did they then taze him? Because that would make this a perfect story.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I try get an errection before passing through the scanner

  14. voiceinthedistance says:

    They did more than just name the guy with the peckerette, they published his picture next to the diminutive genitalia quote. Talk about going from the frying pan to the fryer. He had issues with a handful of people being aware of his short comings, then did all he could to ensure that the whole internets were aware of it. Not the shrewdest move he could have made.

    There is nothing indicating scale in the photo posted above in the BB story, but to my untrained eye it looks a little pasty. To his credit, though, it does seem to have a symmetrical and rather classical form.

  15. alisong76 says:

    But the real question is, does he own a big obnoxious car?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Who cares about them seeing your penis, refuse to be screened because it could damage your dna from what ive read. theu have not done third party clinical trials to see how safe they are….

  17. Anonymous says:

    The funniest thing is the quote from the article:

    “The source of their conflict, police say: mano-a-mano ribbing about the size of the screener’s genitalia.”

    ‘Mano-a-mano’ means ‘hand to hand’, not ‘man to man’.

    Hand-to-hand ribbing about his genitalia ?

    I’m not sure that was the intended meaning !

  18. Anonymous says:

    “Where is the maturity? Are these people 10-year-olds? Why are they behaving like it?”

    Because a being a TSA agent is a little like playing a watered down version of GTA IRL.

  19. Stooge says:

    Cory, how much do the TSA charge for pat-downs with happy endings?

  20. Anonymous says:

    The TSA agents were momentarily panicked (and one kept showing me a teeny, tiny printout of a scan and saying, “This is all we see, why you worried, this is all we see”).

    Not enough attention paid to this. Didn’t they promise there would not be a mechanism for printouts?

  21. Anonymous says:

    Message to airport employees: Children, please behave

  22. Phikus says:

    The baton: Always the first resort of the lesser endowed.

  23. fALk says:

    I also refused the Naked Scanner at Toronto Pearson – loudly – the border control agents started questioning me why I did not want to go through. Told them I am from east germany and I am more afraid of these procedures leading to what my parents went through then a lunatic blowing up the plane. They got squirmish. The line behind me applauded :D Then they just gave me a pad down – bomb wiped every piece of electronic equipment I had in my bag (about 30 things – including a tiny bluetooth headset). Then the supervising officer told me that they just doing their jobs. I tell them that this is what soldiers in concentration camps also said on their defense. Then I went and left behind some very seriously broke looking security staff a line that probably all refused to go through the scanner. Was worth every minute of of the 20 it took.
    The security line I was in was apperently a “test trial” – I think they might mark this day as “test failed”. :D

  24. benher says:

    This whole post has super-phallic status.

    I wonder, when will the day come when a female TSA officer accuses their fellow female officer of having a small vagina which subsequently erupts into a battle with vaginal shaped steel weapons?

  25. Cactaur says:

    Maybe the centripetal force when doing the dick slang dance as you pass thru will help.

  26. nanojath says:

    I’d like to congratulate TSA screeners (particularly female ones) in advance on the five billion images of erections they are about to get to see. This technology is an exhibitionist’s wet dream.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Concerning the radiation hazards of these scanners, I’d like to inject a little science. Einstein won his Nobel prize not for relativity, but for the photoelectric effect. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photoelectric_effect) The basic idea here is that when light interacts with matter, only the frequency of the light counts, not the intensity. Since THz radiation has a frequency that is well below the bonding energy of the bonds in your DNA, no amount of THz radiation can break those bonds. THz scanners cannot cause cancer. Period. As in “that would break the laws of physics”. On the other hand, the x-ray backscatter scanners can certainly break DNA bonds. They do pose a small cancer risk. A very small one. Probably less than a half hour in the sun. However, since both types of scans are intrusive, unnecessary, and unlikely to catch any bad guys, I’d see them done away with and intend to refuse any scan unless threatened with having my freedom of movement permanently restricted.

    • Anonymous says:

      “The basic idea here is that when light interacts with matter, only the frequency of the light counts, not the intensity”.

      That’s not true at all. Ever take a magnifying glass out in sunlight and burn leaves or paper with it? The only thing you changed was the intensity of the light.

  28. Wuss Brillis says:

    For a moment I thought of Dick Cheney auditing for a job at Naked News.

  29. travelina says:

    In last Sunday’s Washington Post travel section, Chris Elliott gave some examples of what happens when travelers just say no. One woman received a much more thorough pat-down than Cory did, and another had to undergo a “level-two” search of her luggage: ““Every compartment or pocket of my computer bag that held an electronic device was wiped separately with an explosives detector, as were my shoes and the inside of my purse that held no electronics at all.”
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/28/AR2010042802743.html?sub=AR
    If you can’t read that, here’s the version you don’t have to register for:
    http://www.elliott.org/the-navigator/saying-no-to-tsas-full-body-scan-may-come-at-a-price/

  30. Anonymous says:

    Humiliate the TSA workers! A little more to the right I seem to have an itch could you scratch it for me? That is the spot! Ahhhhhh

  31. Anonymous says:

    I got nothing to hide but I sure as hell don’t want thousands of rays of radiation piercing my body and my testicles – I want kids someday!!!!!

  32. Lupin Yonsei says:

    “Squirmish” should be a word.

  33. MelSkunk says:

    I feel really bad for this guy. I had the same thing (barring arrest) happen to me when i was a teen. I was teased over and over for years and school and one day just went.. well.. a little nuts and threw a guy twice my size.
    Harassment is not good and I’m surprised you guys are getting in on the action.

  34. Anonymous says:

    It was Shrinkage! It was Shrinkage!!!

  35. HotPepperMan says:

    There should be no ‘principles’ involved with a piece of equipment that has been questioned by scientists regarding its safety. The THz and ‘back-scatter’ technology in use is suspected/known as causing unraveling of DNA.

    http://www.darkgovernment.com/news/terahertz-scanner-waves-damage-dna/

    http://medgadget.com/archives/2010/01/study_looks_into_potential_side_effects_of_terahertz_full_body_scanner_technology.html

    And there are many more…

  36. Hanna says:

    Wow guys, I find it facinating that you’re all so concerned with your junk…really I do. However, I’m more concerned when my 13 year old pubescent daughter (or lets face it…my boy has the same concerns these days)goes through these things, who’s watching that show in the back? Remember you’re traveling, with ways to figure out who you are and where you live. I’m Paranoid, no doubt. But when you think of the numbers of folks that will be traveling through these things. Sometimes paranoia is warranted. (oh btw guys, your right, your junk…no worres…lol)

  37. Hanna says:

    OHHH By the way folks. The picture is Michelangelo’s David, not the scan. Did nobody else see that? Oh well, perhaps I just spend too much time checking out classical statuary…..lol

  38. Becca says:

    I followed the link and saw that guy’s face… it looked like he’d been crying. :(

    As a fellow human being who has had her own insecurities about her body (haven’t we all at some point?) I empathize. Granted, he shouldn’t have beat anyone with a baton, but the prospect of explaining to HR that he was being teased for having a small penis must have felt like too much to handle.

    Screw the TSA for thinking full body scans are an effective and ethical “security” measure.

    Screw the assholes who were teasing this poor man (they should have posted HIS picture and shamed him a little more, in my opinion).

    Screw the coworkers who apparently didn’t have the courage to stand up to the bullies or at least report the abuse to HR.

  39. Dr. Syed Arif Kamal says:

    In support of comment #96 of Anon, the “extent” of damage depends on intensity (total number of photons hitting your body) and the “nature” of damage depends on energy (and so frequency) (how deeply the photons can penetrate your body). Also, the radiation dose is cumulative (i. e., adds up after every scan, making the risk to cross threshold of cancer for frequent travelers, pregnant women, babies, infants and preteen children). There are other ways to screen efficiently (all those at risk are identified) and effectively (only those who pose real threat are denied boarding the aircraft, not the innocent traveler). See my presentation at:

    HTML: http://www.ngds-ku.org/pub/confabstA.htm#C81:

    OR

    PRINTABLE PDF: http://www.ngds-ku.org/Presentations/Security.pdf

  40. Anonymous says:

    To me that picture looks a lot more like a sculpture than a picture. I’ve seen other fake pictures from the new scanners. Is this one any different? I ask that especially since I saw another picture of the scan that showed his whole body in much less detail.

  41. Cydonia says:

    So, what happens when a TSA squad wants to scan a woman? If men are this upset with other men seeing their junk, how would a woman feel asked to reveal her boobs to the TSA? Or do they just not do it to women?

  42. Anonymous says:

    This story has the maturity of a two-year old…and so do the answers here…Couldn’t we humiliate the man a little more? How about some human understanding and compassion? No, that would be asking too much in this era of snarkiness and lack of courtesy. I can tell you one thing – thanks to this article none of us wants to really go through this kind of machine. Give me the pat down, please…

  43. Anonymous says:

    What’s really odd about this is the size of a flaccid penis has nothing to do with the size of an erect penis. So who cares? Except these poorly educated people paid just above minimum wage working with other poorly educations minimum wage workers. Who keep us all in line, don’t they?

    I didn’t know I was refusing a body scan when I refused to take my belt off and they made a point of doing a full pat-down on my and going through every bit of my extremely loaded technological laden purse and computer bag.

    The next time they didn’t allow me to refuse and I didn’t realize I was doing a body scan until I was in the scanner–it looked like one they’d had a while back that blew air at you. This one they made me raise my hands, and it was too late by that point.

  44. Anonymous says:

    Right after 911, I was flying to Florida with a Pakistani friend who decided to take a few more days as vacation and thus took his family.

    The three were all born in America…but they got pulled out of line…I followed them as they were friends. TSA told me to get back in line, and I stated that if my friends were going to get searched for the color of their skin, I was too. Head bully said something about get naked for the prostate exam, laughing to his friend…and I ended up removing almost everything but the boxers off to the side before I was yanked behind the ‘private’ cubicle.

    In retrospect, it probably wasn’t good to do in front of the 10 year old daughter, but it made the point.

    They made the trip to Florida…I got to go the next day…

    I have major problems with people being singled out for the color of their skin, and discrimination. Anything more than that, no…I have a small penis and I’m proud. It isn’t a measure of my manhood. I could care less if someone sees me or anyone else naked. We should be worried about more important things than the preservation of our puritan ways…

  45. Anonymous says:

    Privacy has gone the way of the horse and buggy. Does anyone actually believe that it still exists in this day and age?

  46. Oren Beck says:

    This has two elements. Privacy Vs Risk evaluations are in their own sphere.

    The concept of acceptable conduct becomes center stage.
    If we’re trusting these people with what’s allegedly a real security instrumentality? Be very afraid.

  47. jvwalt says:

    This story does raise a serious, fundamental concern about the scanners: how TSA workers actually function in the real world. If they’re making jokes about a fellow worker, why do we have any reason to believe that they’ll obey TSA guidelines on privacy, etc? Will they be making rude comments or passing around images in the break room? Swapping printouts?

  48. trikitixa says:

    I wonder what Dr. Freud would have to say about this incident.

  49. millions says:

    I’ll be refusing these screenings the next time I fly, mainly to protest the extravagant cost of this boondoggle being passed on to customers.

    • natophonic says:

      I’ll be refusing these screenings the next time I fly, by stating very loudly that LIKE ROLANDO NEGRIN, I HAVE A VERY SMALL PENIS AND SO I’M REFUSING THIS SCREENING, to protest the cost and civil liberties issues, but mainly to create an awkward situation.

      • jackie31337 says:

        I’ll be refusing these screenings the next time I fly, by stating very loudly that LIKE ROLANDO NEGRIN, I HAVE A VERY SMALL PENIS AND SO I’M REFUSING THIS SCREENING, to protest the cost and civil liberties issues, but mainly to create an awkward situation.

        Yes! I should do that too. I’m female and I enjoy confusing people.

  50. phisrow says:

    I have no love for the TSA; but any story that involves a bully being bludgeoned is good by me.

    Bullies are subhuman scum. Honestly, it’s too bad that their victims don’t turn on them more often. The realistic risk of being maimed or killed is just what they need.

  51. DisneyBoy says:

    How can we trust that these same people are not making fun of us via their headsets? Or I wonder what they’ll say about us when we are on break.

    I don’t want them looking at my genitals or those of children. I will never agree to go through those machines.

    They have overstepped their bounds and something should be done about the TSA.

  52. tsm_sf says:

    To all the “he shouldn’t have beaten the guy with a baton” comments:

    This is what a steel baton is for. He was issued one. He used it correctly. You don’t have to be Checkov to figure this out.

  53. Edward Virtually says:

    No he couldn’t. Sexual harassment laws are only enforced when women are the victims, as his year of being abused proves. Personally, I wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d beaten the other guy to death. You can bet if the genders were reversed people would be on his side, vs. posting same kind of snide comments his co-workers made. People disgust me.

  54. Anonymous says:

    The truth is these scanners can be set up to reveal just about every detail, or little more than a cartoon like caricature of an actual human. Nobody knows which scanners or which airports are using what level of detail though. Since they’d be equally effective at the lowest level of detail, the TSA should just lock all scanners at that level as a matter of policy. If they then make it clear how little the scanners reveal at that level and that all scanners nationally are the same, maybe people would be a little less reluctant to use them.

  55. Anonymous says:

    I wonder how children get scanned without running afoul of child pornography laws.

  56. Graham Anderson says:

    In the UK, if you are selected for the Naked Terror-o-tron scan and refuse, you will be barred from flying:

    ” Airline passengers will have no right to refuse to go through a full-body search scanner when the devices are introduced at Heathrow airport next week, ministers have confirmed.

    The option of having a full-body pat-down search instead, offered to passengers at US airports, will not be available despite warnings from the government’s Equality and Human Rights Commission that the scanners, which reveal naked bodies, breach privacy rules under the Human Rights Act.”

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/jan/26/new-body-scanners-heathrow

    This is one reason I do not want Gordon Brown and his henchmen to be allowed to squat another minute in 10 Downing Street.

  57. FallenPegasus says:

    It is so unsurprising to see many BB comment posters making the same small minded “ridicule the guy with the small penis” snarks that the other TSA agents were doing. Keep it up, people.

  58. Anonymous says:

    TSA agents acting like immature little children? I’m not surprised at all.

  59. Random_Tangent says:

    The moral of the story is that if you have a tiny penis, don’t do something that will get your name in the paper next to the words “has a tiny penis”.

  60. theLadyfingers says:

    Did they realy have to name the poor under-endowed fellow?

  61. Cicada says:

    Recommend it to people who care about modesty, I suppose. I’m all for whatever gets me through security the fastest, and if waggling the family jewels gets that done I don’t mind.

  62. Trotsky says:

    I could care less if anyone sees my junk or indeed the whole Internet gets a peek at my man bits. I just don’t care. Having said that, I am going to refuse all full body scans from now until my last day on Earth purely out of principle, no exceptions.

    Too much goddamned compliance, acquiescence, collaboration, and timid acceptance. Fuck that. I’m riding my civil rights all the way to the end. An early grave, if it comes to that. People need to stand the fuck up.

    The other reason I will refuse is because you’d have to be deeply uninformed to take the word of the manufacturers or indeed the so-called regulatory agencies that are, in theory, supposed to vet the amount of radiation this imparts to the victim. Does it make me a foil-hatted crackpot that I don’t accept the official line that the radiation received is of no consequence? Fine. I’m cool with that.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m right behind you in the pat-down line.
      They’re not showing the real deal on the scanner resolution, and probably not measuring the radiation properly. The radiation only penetrates 1CM. Can you say testicular and breast cancer?

    • jgs says:

      By the way, I couldn’t agree more with the comment about radiation dosage. Yep, it might be perfectly safe the way we’ve been told. But the people doing the telling are all financially motivated to come to the conclusion that it’s 100% safe, so as far as I’m concerned, credible evidence is lacking. Welcome to your role as a subject in a 20-year, uncontrolled epidemiological safety study.

      (Also, if they were SO sure about safety, why were my wife and child exempted? Not to say I wasn’t glad they were.)

  63. robulus says:

    You know, some guys have grow-ers, not show-ers.

    Or so I’m told.

  64. Anonymous says:

    You can always say you’re declining on religious grounds: “I’ll be damned if I will.”

  65. Antinous / Moderator says:

    The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun, the Bone War has.

  66. Shay Guy says:

    This is why the Israelis think we’re nuts.

  67. Anonymous says:

    He needed to “fluff” before being scanned.

  68. jgs says:

    I wasn’t allowed to decline the scan in Amsterdam. (Well, the guy did offer me the option of not flying and being escorted from the airport.)

    By far my most pleasant flying experiences of late have been in India. How times change.

  69. GuidoDavid says:

    Jokes from Spanish speaking people about the guy’s last name in
    5
    4
    3

  70. Anonymous says:

    I do mind such screening tools. They will force me to buy another ticket once they find out what I’ve been hiding…

  71. Aloisius says:

    Can I opt to just strip down and walk through the airport naked instead? I mean, if security people are allowed to see my fun bits, then why not everyone?

    • Anonymous says:

      Could someone check their boarding pass? Is there an enforcable dress code? Maybe TSA should be all nekkid all the time.
      captcha: abstracted jokingly
      really?

  72. TuesdayWeld says:

    So are women and children being exempted or just allowed to refuse? I’ll be flying in a few months and I would hate to get kicked off a plane when I haven’t seen my mother in over a year, and there is no way I’ll consent to this. If I end up with a “more thorough” patdown than the men who refuse, I’ll be able to retire very early on the money the lawsuit brings me.

  73. Anonymous says:

    That’s it!! i’m traveling with led boxers from now on!! LOL

  74. fxq says:

    Well problem solved! Just start a rumor that every time a man is scanned by one of these devices his penis permanently shrinks. The scanners will disappear overnight!

  75. Anonymous says:

    I’m primarily concerned about radiation. There have been no independent verifications made of the TSA’s claims for the scanning machines’ radiation levels. There have also been no independent verifications made of the scanning machines’ software (Therac-25, anyone?).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Therac-25

  76. Dan Mac says:

    I can only imagine the small talk at the conventions their bosses attend. The screening heads at LAX must have a perpetual group “hanging off every word” as they discuss various celebrities they have seen nude. There must be great financial pressure from the paparazzi to sell some non capturable images as well.

  77. Anonymous says:

    I personally applaud this guy and would be more than happy to split a pitcher with him. A little ribbing about your junk, fine, but, this went on for a year? Technically he could have had his colleagues fired for sexual harassment on day 2, but sometimes a good-ole ass kicking is in order.

  78. Anonymous says:

    Hitting someone with a steel baton is so brutal. Small penis man is a huge dick.

  79. Anonymous says:

    I don’t get it! Where’s the News in this? Doesn’t this happen everyday with the TSA?

  80. Anonymous says:

    Has anyone brought up the issue of radiation? These scanners like all of our modern devices are pumping microwave radiation. If you travel alot or work in an airport you should at the least be a bit curious about long tearm safty.

  81. Anonymous says:

    The funniest part about this article is the comment section! ;-)

  82. Anonymous says:

    So pencil dick takes TSA job to compensate?

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