Gulf Oil Spill 2010, "Yo Dawg" edition

Yo dawg I heard u like floating oil, so I made an oil boom out of oil so u can float oil in your floating oil (oil booms are made from oil products). Yo dawg I heard u like toxic chemicals, so I made a toxic chemical to disperse in your toxic chemical so u can suspend your toxins in your toxins (dispersants being used by BP to suspend the oil particles may themselves be toxic). (Thanks, Clayton Cubitt)


  1. It’s surprising that a plastic and foam sheet is made from oil products? All plastics of any real value (not counting corn-based plastics) are made from oil products. I don’t really think that counts as irony.

    1. I’m in 100% agreement.

      Look around, the vast majority of what you own is made of or contains plastic, which is produced from oil…

      The computer you are reading and replying to this on, yeah parts of that came from oil.

      Really until science comes up with something better, plastic is a great thing. We have nothing else that is easy to mass produce and as useful. (no, I don’t work for or with anything associated with plastic. But really, the idea of a long chain of hydrocarbons that can be formed into anything is pretty much what mass production is all about. I still believe we should limit the type and use of plastic in the food chain, and pouring all other chemicals to clean up the oil sure as hell isn’t helping….)

      1. Eventually, plastics may be made from algae. Plastics from polysacharrides are becoming more common, and as someone who owns two polysacharride producers (a liver and a lawn) I think this may be a good thing. They can also make plastics from fructose, which could be a solution, except the honey bees are dying off, so less fruit. But it may be a better use for our corn than food. But you’re right, it’s not too surprising that they used booms made from plastic, likely placed their by boats that also burn oil.

      2. Plastics are pure evil. If you aren’t very careful about how you dispose it if, that water bottle you’re drinking from, that laptop case, radio, lamp, etc… will all still be here in thousands of years. Plastics are great until you realize that they _never_ bio degrade. We’re going to have a hell of a job ahead of us in the future, trying to dig all these plastics out of our landfills for proper disposal…

        1. What makes burying the plastic not proper disposal? There are rocks lying around the planet that are billions of years old, but we don’t get into a tizzy because zircon crystals don’t degrade well, or basalt takes eons to weather away.

          The list of inert stuff in the ground’s pretty long. That it’s inert is what makes it reasonably harmless.

          1. it’s awful wasteful to bury it after going through all the trouble (and mess) of pumping it out of the ground in the first place.

            But hey, there’s always that backup planet in case you’re wrong.

      3. There is a lot of plastic around. I did a thought experiment a while back and recommend it for everyone: Could you go a day without using any plastic? Of course it would have to be a computer and cell-phone free day. No driving the car. No riding your bike. Walk to the park, but not in your sneakers. No sunscreen from a bottle, or umbrella if it’s raining. Careful about the clothes you choose to wear, no synthetic fabrics, thread, or fasteners.

        How about lunch now? Bring your own cotton or canvas bag, the carts have plastic. Buy some produce, but don’t bag it. How you gonna pay? Hope you have cash. Checks are paper but not your checkbook. Pens are plastic though, ooops.

        It’s nearly impossible to go a day without plastic.

  2. Yo dawg, I heard you need a solution for your pollution, so we put some pollution in your pollution so while you dilute your pollute you can make a mess of your mess.

  3. Yo Dawg, i heard you like memes, so we put a meme in your meme, so you can read a well known fact while you read a well known fact (and have it explained in parantheses).

    1. Yo, loonquawl — you said it, man.

      Quoting Randall Garrett, “Black magic is a matter of symbolism and intent.” The same plant that’s a crop in one field is a weed in another.

  4. It’s funny how the composition of the dispersants is a trade secret.

    What are they afraid of? That someone else will steal their oil dispersing business? (Although I guess that’s exactly what they’re afraid of.)

  5. Meh, those birds, seals oysters prawns and rocks are soaking up that oil. they’re made of carbon right?

  6. What about using the UV rabbits as oil absorbers? Assuming they kept breeding, it would be a self manufacturing oil absorbency system that was “natural”

  7. Early on, when one of their first ideas was to set the slick ablaze, I knew the cleanup was quickly “going south”.

  8. Haha, I get it! 4chan, that’s funny. You’re funny!

    Those stupid and evil BP, first they make this oil thing happen, now they’re trying to fix it using plastic! The irony! That oil multinational should try greener ways to fix a problem at the bottom of the ocean. It’s the least America deserves.

  9. Who’s gonna be the first to make oil spill floating candles with a cool rainbow swirly pattern on top for the slicks? As long as it’s being promo’d on FB…

  10. I am beginning to believe that the BP is not nearly as interested in capping the spill as finding a way to still capture the leaking oil while just slowing the spill over.

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