Comments on: Ten Commandments of Rock 'n' Roll Roadies

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I did sound for a few years; I knew a few guys like that, especially the practitioner of #10 who insisted I needed to “loosen up a little”. Last I heard of him was a New Year’s Eve gig where he did lights, leaning over to puke beside the light board every once in a while.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

As I was told when working with The Grateful Dead… When backstage, you are one of two things — working or in the way!

By: Kaden

Kaden — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Pure Saxondale.

By: GordoTheGeek

GordoTheGeek — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

That sounds suspiciously like something straight out of the IATSE union manual.

By: Phlip

Phlip — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Reminds me of Bart Simpson fantasizing about being a rocker.

Specifically, a jaded, over-the-hill, brain-dead rocker who cares more about hedonism than “the music!”

“Yeah!”

By: caitifty

caitifty — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

replace ‘rock and roll’ with ‘academia’ and it works wonderfully. although you need to chop the ‘except..’ part of (5).

By: geetus

geetus — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Ten commandments of nationalism?

By: Falcon_Seven

Falcon_Seven — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Also works for the IT department. Yes, Gordo, it is from the IATSE union manual. At the Felt Forum back in the 1970′s, during TV setups for prizefights, if you weren’t moving or holding a piece of equipment, you were either a shop steward or you were fired.

By: cha0tic

cha0tic — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

The Title of the sheet is: “The Ten Commandments of Rock and Roll.” Not the Ten Commandments of R ‘n’ R Roadies. I’d like some more information please. It could apply equally to bands and management.

By: Karl Elvis

Karl Elvis — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

This has gotta go on a t-shirt.

By: Crispinus211

Crispinus211 — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve loved these commandments since I first read them in the Book of Rock Lists. I wonder, did they inspire the list in the book, or are they derived from the book? Provenance, provenance.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

This list is by Grateful Dead lyricist Robert Hunter, and appeared in Dave Marsh’s 1981 book, The New Book Of Rock Lists. From the same book comes this bit of advice from Cub Koda: “Never give anything of value to a roadie. I have a large box of toothpicks in my kitchen cupboard which used to be a Les Paul.”

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Brilliant but it should have gone to 11

By: Ichabod

Ichabod — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Pure French Quarter bartender. Live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse!

By: phlavor

phlavor — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

That is my workplace exactly. I’d leave and get another job if I wasn’t part of the problem.

By: benchscientist

benchscientist — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I think we should turn this up to 11

By: Nash Rambler

Nash Rambler — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Let me try out rule #6: this post sucks, the poster sucks, if you are reading this you suck, and if I had managed to get all the way to the end of the article, I’m sure the ending also would have sucked. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to practice number #10 and rob some nuns to pay for my heroin habit.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I knew it was in the Bock of Rock Lists, but I thought it might be attributed to Lester Bangs. Unfortunately, my much beloved copy of the book fell to pieces after the binding gave way, so I had now way to check. (Once again, if it happened before 1990, on the Internet it’s as if it never happened at all.)

I also like one other advice from Cub Koda — If a gig is going badly, stare and the ceiling and yell at the top of your lungs: Please, Rev. Jim, more Kool-Aid!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Works just as well as the Ten Commandments of Employment at ILM.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Roadies Creed

1 – If it’s wet, drink it.

2 – If it’s green, smoke it.

3 – If it’s white, snort it.

4 – If it moves, fuck it.

5 – If it doesn’t move, put it on the truck.

By: Mope

Mope — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Best accompanied by Henry Rollins advice to performers:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/keerwashere/henry-rollins-pwns-musicians-uqk

By: Teller

Teller — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Straight-up Machiavelli.

By: millrick

millrick — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

dude! it was a Siberian tiger! jeez. get the story straight!

By: Ugly Canuck

Ugly Canuck — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

roland the roadie
loves gertrude the groupie
But gertrude the groupie loves groups…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1_xe5p42IU

By: Joseph Hertzlinger

Joseph Hertzlinger — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Didn’t Larry Niven say No. 9 first? “If you don’t understand it, it’s dangerous.”

By: scifijazznik

scifijazznik — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

How is this different from any MBA program? Seriously, this could have been found in the home of any Goldman Sachs employee.

By: flappy

flappy — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

As an ex-roadie with 13 yrs experience, I gotta say that this sounds like those old fucks who were leathery slack-skinned self-righteous know-it-all bastards when I started. I was happy to see them blow away like leaves in tiny whirlwinds as I rewrote the book. Good thing I got out before I OD’d again so I can now share my love with the lucky, lucky world.

And stories, let me tell you stories; did a gig at the Great Wall once, fuckin’ load-in’s at the wrong end. Bitch of a push. See it from space?, you could HEAR it from space after I re-biased plexis and put cig foil in the fuse holders.

And did I tell you about that gig on the moon…?

I truly feel sorry for Simon.

By: flappy

flappy — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Seriously, the roadies I know are whip-smart big-hearted pros. Total opposite of this attitude.

By: Quickley

Quickley — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Had I realized my Exes were roadies at the time, things would’ve been different now.

By: flappy

flappy — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

but not the old ones.