Proposed Apple response to Adobe's "We [heart] Apple" ad

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Adobe has launched a "We ♥ Choice," "We ♥ Apple" messaging campaign directed at Apple's lockout of Flash on the iPad. Here's a proposed response from Apple. (Image by @isaaco, and *this is a joke* not a real Apple statement)

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  1. Okay, although that little blue thing looks vaguely familiar, I’m out of the loop. What is it?

  2. Wait, this is really twisted. The supposedly flash-app-based heart does not show because flash is not installed.

    And, Adobe’s ad targets Apple’s refusal to allow installing flash on their appliance-type devices?

    So, what is the ad saying exactly? “You can’t say you love us on our devices, because we don’t let you!”

    Yes, it is funny at first sight, and it makes no sense whatsoever.

  3. On Apple’s iPhone, iPad, and iTouch when you attempt to load a web page that uses Flash that little Lego block appear at the place on the page where the Flash should be, indicating that that part of the web page uses a plugin that the browser doesn’t have.

    1. Oh yeah, now I remember seeing that little thing. Online though, I don’t have any Apple products. (I’d like to, although an iPad is the last thing I’d want.)

  4. Apple and Adobe have had this spat going for many, many years, and it has NOT been to the advantage of either Adobe or Apple customers.

    As a decades long customer of BOTH companies, I’m really tired of it.

  5. Oh, and Apple’s refusal to allow *installing* flash on their devices is only about preserving their app store monopoly, nothing else.

    Flash would allow interactive locally installed apps on their devices without the need of the apple toll road named iTunes.

    If flash truly sucks, we can uninstall it, can’t we?

    Yes, it is practically closed tech but so what. HTML5+JS at this point and for some time in the future can not be used to create viable i-apps.

    So there. Apple protects their turf, Adobe whimpers, and anybody who wants to use the flash platform to create something fun for the i-family is out of luck.

  6. Not that I’m any particular fan of Adobe, which has been hosing the graphics arts community for decades (I’ll never forgive the developers of Flash for what they did to the users of Smart Sketch when they decided to appropriate that editing environment for use with Flash…), but it really seems like Apple has gone off the deep-end in the past couple of years. Steve Job’s ego is running amok again, his personal history repeating itself.

    Clearly, the iPad is a highly mis-understood product. Contemporary computer pundits seem woefully ignorant of the nature of the evolution in personal computing the iPad represents. But it seems like its biggest liability right now is Apple itself. I waited over 20 years for Apple to finally introduce this kind of product but now I find myself hesitant to buy one because the behavior of the company threatens its near-term future. Chinese labor scandals, executive feuds, The endless litany of App Store ass-hattery, the war on their own software developers. It’s all getting to be a bit much to swallow. Apple is treading down a path whose inevitable reversal -one way or another- could compel changes in the iPad sufficiently low-level to prematurely obsolesce the current hardware -and an AppleCare extended warranty won’t cover that kind of failure, So anyone who really needs a $500+ dollar investment in computer gear to actually last more than a year needs to think twice about this product. You have to ask yourself what impact a Microsoft-style protracted series of patent disputes and anti-trust action may have on this. You can patch software, but not hardware. Apple has a long history of really punishing its first-adopters and it may be doing it again. Like most execs, Steve Jobs simply doesn’t have the guts to stand behind his own products and their customers when bad executive decisions impact their viability. He likes to pretend its some kind of special privilege to be a first adopter. It’s not. It’s Russian Roulette.

    I’m coming to the conclusion that it may be time for a community statement. I think it’s time we staged an event to sit shiva for Apple. Maybe we can get Steve Wozniac to host it as avel. Perhaps the sight of a room full of people rending their Apple T-shirts in mourning for the loss of the Apple we once knew will jog Jobs out of his latest delusional phase.

  7. I’m working on an Android version of this gag.

    I figure I’ll be ready by the end of the year…

  8. You’ll need to hide the brick, though. The iPad (and likely the upcoming iPhone OS update for iPhone/iPod Touch) hide the blue brick so that end users are unaware that there is content on the page their device is unable to display.

  9. Another possible reading is the brick looks rather like a Lego piece. It then reads

    We ‘lego’ Adobe, and by all accounts Apple did seem to let go Adobe

    Right, as I re-read this postbit does sound a bit far fetched alright

  10. For me this just points out something that Mac can’t handle/can’t support. It doesn’t pair well with the detailed list of reasons from Adobe.

  11. Get over it Adobe, Apple are not going to use your plugin. Move on and develop something which will be used. Its that simple. Less battery consumption and open. HTML5 or whatever. I dont want my battery dying just coz I have to use your ‘once amazing’ now so over-busy software. Things just dont work out the way you wanna and so you have to evolve.

    1. Anon #20, what kind of evolution would you suggest for Java? Apple don’t allow that either, even though it’s open and highly efficient because iPhone/iPad CPUs can execute Java bytecode directly.

  12. Flash video adverts that automatically run up on webpages are a huge bandwidth guzzling problem on mobile devices. I found I kept running out allowance on my windows netbook dongle – until I installed a browser advert blocker. The alternative would have been to uninstall flash.

  13. I think the answer is to be found on Ebay – I looked for tablet PCs last night,and found lots of 7″ Android tablets at about the GBP100 mark. A similar search on Ebay.com found them for $85-100. All from Hong Kong or China,but with free shipping.

    I should think that if you want that level of ability, they should suit you perfectly, at about a fifth of the price.

  14. Next Adobe will buy enough shares into Lego that they will be able to sue Apple for using the image of their product.

  15. Sad only one commenter over at the CNN site got it:

    “Fact Check:

    Flash is open. Anyone can make a Flash Player and several manufactures make software that create Flash content just like Flash does.

    HTML5 is years away from being a mature standard. Also, poorly written HTML5 will run-up the cpu just like poorly written Flash. In fact, some test have shown that it really doesn’t perform much better than Flash. In some cases worst!

    And if you really want to get geeky about it, the blame for the poor performance on Safari can be laid at Apples door step. Take some time and look it up!”

    Exactly…very people bashing Flash have looked at how the alternatives work and how close they are.

    Also is the browser embedded or updatable in the iPad? Hope so – cos these sites that are using the little bit of released HTML5 are working on provisional unratified parts of HTML5 – probably in part educated guesses.

    I can bet there’s an IE/Netscape still fallout and scramble when it gets ratified and fully set in stone in a few years, or some transitional fudge. Hmm.

  16. Well of course this is all marketing drama…

    But I do agree that although it’s nice to have browsers ‘preview’ future web standards, when something outside web standards continues to dominate the entire web without a web standard equivalent, something is seriously wrong.

    And I also have to say, since I installed something that makes all the flash windows opt-in (and for me to do that, the situation had to be dire, because I’m the sort of person who even watches commercials on my tivo), my browser is much much much faster. I’d say that 90% of flash I encounter is used for either video (for which I’d rather have an embedded quicktime, sorry, except for the ability to favorite, which wouldn’t matter if I could just direct download anyway) or for ads (for which, you’re ruining it for everyone, if advertisements take up so much CPU that my browser is slowed to nil or crashes, then it’s badvertisement. Be smart with targeted ads like facebook which *gasp* I actually click on because they are relevant to me and I can actually see them because they don’t take the page 5000 years to load). 9% is for severely badly designed websites. And maybe 1% is for things like videogames for which flash actually is useful.

    Yes, Apple’s policy is a douche move. But, Flash is nonetheless, Full of Fail. Let’s have a viable web standard pronto, please.

  17. Yes, Apple’s policy is a douche move.

    agreed, but it’s not near as douchey as the whining in response to it.

  18. Wow, Adobe is being ridiculously hypocritical. It’s funny watching two of the biggest proprietary software companies in the world, Apple and Adobe, battle it out pretending
    that they’re more open than the other.

    They say “We believe that consumers should be able to freely access their favorite content and applications, regardless of what computer they have, what browser they like, or what device suits their needs. No company — no matter how big or how creative — should dictate what you can create, how you create it, or what you can experience on the web.”

    Last I checked, Adobe doesn’t release open source software. Until recently, if I wanted to run flash on my 64-bit linux, I had to hack my system to run the 32-bit binary they released because they don’t give out the source code to compile yourself. And, as far as I know, you can’t run a flash player on freebsd. If I want to make flash videos, I need to use windows or a mac.

    I think that what Apple is doing is ridiculous too of course. I’m an iPhone developer with several games in the app store (2 of which I didn’t make with Xcode and Obj-C), and I think Apple’s claim that they’re banning flash because it’s “not open enough” is ridiculous. But Adobe’s claim that they’re open and Apple isn’t is equally as ridiculous.

    “Open” is now one of those buzzwords that gets misused by big companies trying to exploit people’s good will, like “fair trade” or “organic” or “green”. There’s nothing to stop anyone from claiming to be “open”, even if they’re releasing locked-in proprietary software like Adobe and Apple do.

  19. yet 99.999999999999999999999999999999999% of the people who buy theses devises don’t care,,, ga bye adobe

  20. I hate Apple’s bullcrap ! Itunes is a monstrosity. Video bought from Itunes runs herky jerky on my 3 GHZ machine so horribly that I can’t even watch it. Quicktime itself runs the same way and just about always has. I don’t think I have ever really had a problem with flash. It is a bit of a resource hog, but it works, and works well. Apple should get their own house in order.

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