Drill, baby, drill: Oil execs sexed regulators

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34 Responses to “Drill, baby, drill: Oil execs sexed regulators”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I second Anon #27 comment. I thought the phrasing ‘allowed’ was a bit angerspeak. What people don’t seem to get is that the whole debacle is unprecedented.

  2. Stefan Jones says:

    There’s an efficient, liberty-positive small-government free-market solution to this that I’ll tell you about as soon as I shovel these freeloading oil-soaked waterfowl off of my property.

  3. userw014 says:

    So, how is MMS whoring around with Big Oil any different from Congress doing the same?

    Or, for that matter, the Fed and the Wall Street investment gambling businesses?

    Congress sets the standard. And wallows in it.

    • cuvtixo says:

      “How is this any different from Congress doing the same? Or, for that matter, the Fed and the Wall Street investment gambling businesses? Congress sets the standard”
      What kind of logic are you following??? To take your questions at face value: For one thing, conservatives (even those IN Congress) assure us that private industry is less corrupt and more efficient/effective. We never hear vice-versa. I’d like to hear people in the oil industry start saying there are SOME regulatory functions that need to be done by either well-funded gov’t regulators, or at least a quasi-private/public regulatory agency.
      Last I heard, we had a REPRESENTATIVE government, so corruption in gov’t is a likely result, rather than “setting a standard.” Good God, you have actually made me defend Congress! I feel dirty.

  4. calvert4096 says:

    Wow… this is one for the ages. A thousand years from now, people will talk about America like we talk about ancient Rome now– as decadent and corrupt, and this is exactly the sort of example they’ll point to. I can already see the comedic value from all the double entendres alone is incredible.

  5. Anonymous says:

    WE WANT OUR GOVERNMENT BACK!

    oh wait, this isnt what the teabaggers are talking about…

  6. Brainspore says:

    @ Anon #27 & Anon #29:

    Using the word “allowed” doesn’t imply that BP wanted this debacle, just that it was within the company’s power to prevent it. This spill isn’t some kind of natural disaster. It’s the direct result of human action (and inaction).

  7. sing it, baby says:

    Funny photo of Birnbaum that’s begging for an alternate caption: “Have we tried club soda yet?”

  8. bklynchris says:

    Yeah, I’m surprised this wasn’t discussed more in the media earlier. In fact, I think there was quite a bit of cocaine involved. Kind of made Marion Berry look like a downright a teetotal-ing celibate.

    What kills me, when you click the photo link, looking at the menu to the right, one of the tabs is the “kids page”. I shudder to think..

  9. Bevatron Repairman says:

    “Drill, baby, drill!” Indeed.

  10. fnc says:

    Ack1 My blow out preventer failed!

  11. Marcel says:

    The sad thing is, that being competative on a free market seems to mean cutting as much corners as you possibly can.

    I mean think about it, you can buy a whole chicken for three dollars.

    That means it was born, bred and kept on less.

    Somehow, there is this widespread conviction, Hell, maybe it’s even somekind of economic law, that the first priority of a consumer is to acquire a product for the lowest possible price.

    So everything has to be done on the cheap.

    Question is if it is really true. Would we rather buy cheaper gas from a company which spends less on security measures?

    What if that company maintains gas fields somewhere in Africa, and not on your doorstep?

    Say, Nigeria for instance.

  12. Anonymous says:

    It’s not right, of course, but this is how the construction industry works. I used to work for a relatively large manufacturer, and the bidding process goes a little something like this…

    Us: “We can build you this thing for $90k”

    Client: “Your competitor can build it for $80k. Why should we go with you?”

    Us: “Because we’ll do a better job. Oh, and also, because we’ll give you a hooker.”

    …and just like that, the guy in charge of approving bids would manage to convince his boss that we were delivering a higher quality product.

    Now, as far as I ever knew, we actually were delivering a higher quality product, but the way we managed to acquire jobs, well, you kinda get used to it.

  13. CapnMarrrrk says:

    Funny Caption:

    “You want me to put it where? Oh, OK.”

  14. TimDrew says:

    Time for that Universal Caption again…

  15. Xeni Jardin says:

    “Christ, what an asshole!”

  16. bobhughes says:

    I’m proud of you guys for bringing this back up! It’s old news, but it’s still very relevant. It didn’t make major headlines in 2008, but I’m still surprised by how few people knew about it.

  17. deckard68 says:

    If only this kind of incentive were offered when I’m choosing between Staples or OfficeMax to buy office paper.

  18. Fracking Awesome says:

    New Oil Industry Taglines:

    Will suck C*$k for Oil!
    Nailed her? I Drilled her!
    Those office supplies are AMAZING!
    Who needs a condom when you have a backup shutoff switch?
    Tailgating & Bubble Baths… Oh… MY… OIL!
    Oil’s bringing the meat to the table!

  19. Lucifer says:

    Top Kill is in fact a sexual position.

    • Anonymous says:

      Aha! I knew those weird names for the recovery effort procedures had to be some kind of coded language!

  20. ian71 says:

    This would never have happened if they were all Muslim.

    • Freddie Freelance says:

      Ian71, speaking as someone who worked for a company who did work in Saudi Arabia back in the ’70s, it would and has happened with Muslims on both sides of the equasion.

  21. Psywiped says:

    How is the oil spill worse than 3 mile island?

    • mccrum says:

      One involved a partial meltdown of a reactor core and vented non-nuclear secondary coolant resulting in no human deaths and little to no damage to the environment while establishing a much more stringent regulatory process resulting in making nuclear power much more expensive to create and operate than traditional fossil fuels.

      The other is the largest oil spill in American history that is still ongoing as a result of willfully ignored regulations that will result in the deaths of millions of animals and possibly the destruction of most of the wetland habitats along the entire gulf coast from Louisiana to Florida for years to come while the ownership and management responsible for the disaster spend millions on corporate lawyers establishing that they did nothing wrong resulting in a select minority of Americans boycotting BP for a while until they forget it ever happened.

      So how is the oil spill worse? It will result in actual measurable deaths and destruction to the environment for decades to come whereas TMI released minimal radioactive material to the world and is likely less hazardous than sitting in front of your microwave for five minutes.

      Glad to be of help.

  22. hadlock says:

    “Government officials handling billions of dollars in oil royalties engaged in illicit sex with employees of energy companies…”

    Well don’t be bashful, feel free to name names here on the front page. If you’re going to whistleblow, whistleblow. If not, don’t waste our time.

  23. Gyrofrog says:

    “MMS Employees are Dedicated Stewards for America; demonstrating Integrity and Excellence”

    This saying-something-that-should-presumably-go-without-saying is reminiscent of a DPRK announcement.

  24. Crispinus211 says:

    Gives a whole new meaning to the term “junk shot.”

    (Ba-DUM-bum.)

  25. Halloween Jack says:

    From the Climate Progress link: “Sexual relationships with prohibited sources cannot, by definition, be arms-length.” Although it would be mighty impressive if they were.

  26. Marja says:

    I have friends who are sex workers, and I wish the world would respect their rights and respect that they are making an honest living.

    But now people are going to see all sex workers as dirty, filthy *lobbyists.*

  27. Anonymous says:

    “…the oil rig that BP allowed to blow in the Gulf of Mexico”

    Allowed? Seriously?

    I mean…. come on. I know we all hate BP, and BP is evil and they eat babies, and we’re all grooving on our righteous indignation and everything, but can we maybe, just maybe remind ourselves that this was first and foremost an accident, and that 11 men died in that explosion?

  28. Brainspore says:

    Hey, they screwed ALL of us. And now our fertile wetlands are dripping with goo because somebody didn’t plan adequate protection when their spewing well-head blew its load.

  29. Anonymous says:

    New caption suggestion:

    “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”
    Sun-tzu

    Peace and Love,

    Teeko Benz

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