Church of Tarvu releases new recruitment video

A confession here, Boing Boing readers: I've already said "hebbo" to Tarvuism—the world's fastest-growing religion—and I've learned how to speak to an octopus along the way, with help from a friendly priestmunty. Thanks to this brand-new recruitment video, now you can too.

Video: The Church of Tarvu: Join us!
Related: Tarvupedia, and chat forum.

(thanks, poppermunty and serafinamunty)

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.

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Anonymous

Too funny!
- Anonymous
  
  Scientology is not at all like Tarvu.
  
  “body thetans” are INSIDE our bodies, NOT floating all over the place, in Scientology.
  
  Think more like the Alien movie.
  
  And think imaginary, so that when the alien souls are released, they don’t bust your chest open like in the Alien movie.
  
  Scientology’s more like Ghostbusters, and instead of vacuuming ghosts who are floating around in the air zipping around in rooms, in Scientology the minister/therapist coaxes the “body thetans” (dead alien ghosts or souls) out of your body and set them on their way to go to some hospital and pick up a real baby’s body the way us thinking rational people did!
  
  Get it right!
Axx

Can I get a Tarvu starter kit? I’m really only interested in the first 50 secrets.
Anonymous

Insect Veterinarian? Erotic Songwriter? WTF, apparently i’m not suited to be a tarvuist. Im just a plain ol’ architect.
Littlesister

I would like to speak to an octopus.
Boba Fett Diop

Is that Patrick Stewart’s voice?
- Brainspore
  
  No way that’s Patrick Stewart. Everybody knows he’s Orange Catholic.
- MarkM
  
  Sounds like a (young) Michael York.
NJ

Holy Schwa and Church of the Subgenius!
Anonymous

If I had a dime for every silly internet religion, I’d have… well, probably not quite a buck, but still.
Bucket

“Bob” will not stand for this TERRIBLE HERESY.

Or, maybe, he will. It can be difficult* to predict what “Bob” will do next.

*where “difficult” means “kind of a pain in the ass.”
Anonymous

Was kind of expecting the theme from Dr. Who in the end there…
GraemeM

What is a uvrat?
- Felton
  
  Ultraviolet rat. Lethal to seripmav.
insatiableatheist

Ok, so you’re being facetious right?
Funny guy.
GraemeM

:)
GraemeM

Never mind, it still fits.
IronEdithKidd

How does one gain the education necessary to become a pasta designer, anyway?

Boba@4: Sure sounds like the Captain to me.
- Boba Fett Diop
  
  Or “Old Baldy” to his friends.
FutureNerd

By the time you’ve seen one peloscopus, we’re pretty much into the whole peloscopocalypse. The threat is peloscopic, or at least peloscopically influenced, which is only one step removed.
Mark Temporis

When one of the Czars, IFAIK Nicholas, was approached by a group of Imams requesting that he have the Russian people convert to Islam, he replied that the ban on alcohol was too high a price for him to ask his people.

This is my reply regarding a ban on calamari.
thequickbrownfox

In the righteous name of The Flying Spaghetti Monster I hereby condemn this heresy!
Anonymous

Boba@4 & IronEdithKidd@9:
I’m pretty sure the narrator is Peter Serafinowicz who is also the voice of “Look Around You” as seen on BB a few months ago. (
http://boingboing.net/2009/01/13/look-around-you-come.html )
smegoid

They had me at Hebbo.
FutureNerd

This has got suction all over it.
5ynic

@Bucket #7
Bob, and the FSM, and the ministers at http://www.landoverbaptist.org and even worshippers of invisible pink unicorns and Russell’s teapot (plus of course the followers of both the gourd and the shoe) will all be glad of Tarvu showing some more lost souls the light. Did I miss any? :)
arikol

“Tarvu never forgot his adopted octopus family, and forbad the eating of calamari.”
http://www.tarvu.com/wiki/doku.php?id=oobu&DokuWiki=c11a861cfbb5ca43a3117e96cb8fffd8

Are you kidding me? forbidding the eating of calamari?
Eris does not take kindly to impostors who set weird rules. Except when she does.
- querent
  
  What’s she doing tonight, anyway?
mr_mac

It SO easy!
dole

I think it’s voiced by Peter Serafinowicz.
neurolux

It is so freakin’ easy, I may convert purely by accident.
insatiableatheist

Scientology has met its match.
Do we get to see Tarvu and Xenu have the epic final battle in the war for human souls?
- dequeued
  
  Tarvu is completely mocked up.
  
  Scientology is the only true road to freedom!
  
  Come on down to your local org today, and get a free personality test.
  
  Scientology is, in fact, the worlds fastest growing religion, and is experiencing explosive growth all around the world.
  
  It’s the only religion based on the amazing scientific philosophies of L Ron Hubbard, and his amazing discoveries.
  
  You can also find a copy of his book, Dianetics, at the local library.
  - insatiableatheist
    
    Sorry. The above comment was a response to yours.
Anonymous

It’s so easy to join!
Hirsty

It’s so easy to join!
Anonymous

I’m a naget-weaseler surely they would let me in.
Anonymous

Dequeued, the angelic creatures named octopusses will soon rise from the oceans, swarm the globe, and eat every copy of Hubbard’s book.

(Personally, I suspect Tarvu is the commercial spin off of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The only true religion. Along with the omnipresent Porcelain God of Hangovers.)
danegeld

Well it looks like a religion for breezy people who say yukawow. Sign me up!
Xenu

Clearly this is an ad for something, but what?

I’m guessing a movie or TV show, given the production values.
- http://www.xeni.net Xeni Jardin
  
  I can assure you that it is not an ad for a film or a TV show. It is what it is. Not viral marketing.
  - Xenu
    
    Hey I’m not knocking it, so far Tarvu is hilarious.
    
    But based on domain registration info, this is from Robert Popper, the same guy who created “Look Around You.” Which is also excellent.
    
    I’m guessing he has something up his sleeve here; maybe not a tv show but who knows.
  - failix
    
    On the Peter Serafinowicz wikipedia page it says:
    
    As of 2008, Serafinowicz is working with Robert Popper on a new television series, as well as a website, based on a spoof religion “Tarvuism” for US network Adult Swim.
    
    So it seems like this is an ad for a TV show. Still pretty funny though.
GeekMan

Ugh… too close too home to be funny.
Anonymous

It is an ad for Tarvu.
A religion that is so easy to join.
http://www.tarvu.com/
querent

psht. obviously just an illuminati front. or maybe it’s the discordians trying to siphon off the illuminati cannon fodder. or maybe patrick stewart got hooked on trek conventions and can’t be without followers. or maybe….
doggo

By His Noodly Appendages, this is heresy!

Wait… “noodly appendages”… Oobu… Could it be…?!
Robbo

If Tarvuism helps with slack then I’m in. Praise “Bob”! Inhale Connie.
MrJM

Just one question: how difficult is it to join?