Church of Tarvu releases new recruitment video


49 Responses to “Church of Tarvu releases new recruitment video”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Too funny!

    • Anonymous says:

      Scientology is not at all like Tarvu.

      “body thetans” are INSIDE our bodies, NOT floating all over the place, in Scientology.

      Think more like the Alien movie.

      And think imaginary, so that when the alien souls are released, they don’t bust your chest open like in the Alien movie.

      Scientology’s more like Ghostbusters, and instead of vacuuming ghosts who are floating around in the air zipping around in rooms, in Scientology the minister/therapist coaxes the “body thetans” (dead alien ghosts or souls) out of your body and set them on their way to go to some hospital and pick up a real baby’s body the way us thinking rational people did!

      Get it right!

  2. Axx says:

    Can I get a Tarvu starter kit? I’m really only interested in the first 50 secrets.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Insect Veterinarian? Erotic Songwriter? WTF, apparently i’m not suited to be a tarvuist. Im just a plain ol’ architect.

  4. Littlesister says:

    I would like to speak to an octopus.

  5. Boba Fett Diop says:

    Is that Patrick Stewart’s voice?

  6. NJ says:

    Holy Schwa and Church of the Subgenius!

  7. Anonymous says:

    If I had a dime for every silly internet religion, I’d have… well, probably not quite a buck, but still.

  8. Bucket says:

    “Bob” will not stand for this TERRIBLE HERESY.

    Or, maybe, he will. It can be difficult* to predict what “Bob” will do next.

    *where “difficult” means “kind of a pain in the ass.”

  9. Anonymous says:

    Was kind of expecting the theme from Dr. Who in the end there…

  10. GraemeM says:

    What is a uvrat?

  11. insatiableatheist says:

    Ok, so you’re being facetious right?
    Funny guy.

  12. GraemeM says:

    Never mind, it still fits.

  13. IronEdithKidd says:

    How does one gain the education necessary to become a pasta designer, anyway?

    Boba@4: Sure sounds like the Captain to me.

  14. FutureNerd says:

    By the time you’ve seen one peloscopus, we’re pretty much into the whole peloscopocalypse. The threat is peloscopic, or at least peloscopically influenced, which is only one step removed.

  15. Mark Temporis says:

    When one of the Czars, IFAIK Nicholas, was approached by a group of Imams requesting that he have the Russian people convert to Islam, he replied that the ban on alcohol was too high a price for him to ask his people.

    This is my reply regarding a ban on calamari.

  16. thequickbrownfox says:

    In the righteous name of The Flying Spaghetti Monster I hereby condemn this heresy!

  17. Anonymous says:

    Boba@4 & IronEdithKidd@9:
    I’m pretty sure the narrator is Peter Serafinowicz who is also the voice of “Look Around You” as seen on BB a few months ago. ( )

  18. smegoid says:

    They had me at Hebbo.

  19. FutureNerd says:

    This has got suction all over it.

  20. 5ynic says:

    @Bucket #7
    Bob, and the FSM, and the ministers at and even worshippers of invisible pink unicorns and Russell’s teapot (plus of course the followers of both the gourd and the shoe) will all be glad of Tarvu showing some more lost souls the light. Did I miss any? :)

  21. arikol says:

    “Tarvu never forgot his adopted octopus family, and forbad the eating of calamari.”

    Are you kidding me? forbidding the eating of calamari?
    Eris does not take kindly to impostors who set weird rules. Except when she does.

  22. mr_mac says:

    It SO easy!

  23. dole says:

    I think it’s voiced by Peter Serafinowicz.

  24. neurolux says:

    It is so freakin’ easy, I may convert purely by accident.

  25. insatiableatheist says:

    Scientology has met its match.
    Do we get to see Tarvu and Xenu have the epic final battle in the war for human souls?

    • dequeued says:

      Tarvu is completely mocked up.

      Scientology is the only true road to freedom!

      Come on down to your local org today, and get a free personality test.

      Scientology is, in fact, the worlds fastest growing religion, and is experiencing explosive growth all around the world.

      It’s the only religion based on the amazing scientific philosophies of L Ron Hubbard, and his amazing discoveries.

      You can also find a copy of his book, Dianetics, at the local library.

  26. Anonymous says:

    It’s so easy to join!

  27. Hirsty says:

    It’s so easy to join!

  28. Anonymous says:

    I’m a naget-weaseler surely they would let me in.

  29. Anonymous says:

    Dequeued, the angelic creatures named octopusses will soon rise from the oceans, swarm the globe, and eat every copy of Hubbard’s book.

    (Personally, I suspect Tarvu is the commercial spin off of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The only true religion. Along with the omnipresent Porcelain God of Hangovers.)

  30. danegeld says:

    Well it looks like a religion for breezy people who say yukawow. Sign me up!

  31. Xenu says:

    Clearly this is an ad for something, but what?

    I’m guessing a movie or TV show, given the production values.

    • Xeni Jardin says:

      I can assure you that it is not an ad for a film or a TV show. It is what it is. Not viral marketing.

      • Xenu says:

        Hey I’m not knocking it, so far Tarvu is hilarious.

        But based on domain registration info, this is from Robert Popper, the same guy who created “Look Around You.” Which is also excellent.

        I’m guessing he has something up his sleeve here; maybe not a tv show but who knows.

      • failix says:

        On the Peter Serafinowicz wikipedia page it says:

        As of 2008, Serafinowicz is working with Robert Popper on a new television series, as well as a website, based on a spoof religion “Tarvuism” for US network Adult Swim.

        So it seems like this is an ad for a TV show. Still pretty funny though.

  32. GeekMan says:

    Ugh… too close too home to be funny.

  33. Anonymous says:

    It is an ad for Tarvu.
    A religion that is so easy to join.

  34. querent says:

    psht. obviously just an illuminati front. or maybe it’s the discordians trying to siphon off the illuminati cannon fodder. or maybe patrick stewart got hooked on trek conventions and can’t be without followers. or maybe….

  35. doggo says:

    By His Noodly Appendages, this is heresy!

    Wait… “noodly appendages”… Oobu… Could it be…?!

  36. Robbo says:

    If Tarvuism helps with slack then I’m in. Praise “Bob”! Inhale Connie.

  37. MrJM says:

    Just one question: how difficult is it to join?

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