All your favorite dinosaurs suck

Discuss

42 Responses to “All your favorite dinosaurs suck”

  1. Anonymous says:

    If you have gripes, you should read this:

    dantelfer.blogspot.com/2010/06/hello-internet.html

    Dan addresses many of the gripes directly.

    And isn’t the whole point of “truthiness” that the facts can be fudged for a gut feeling or “humor”?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Dan is one of the funniest comics out there. Someone like Conan should really snag him up for a writing gig.

  3. malone johnson says:

    He clearly has never visited:

    http://thebestdinosaur.com/

  4. Anonymous says:

    The public laughs are terrible… kills all eventual joy of watching.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I would have gone with the “raptor deep-cut” the Utahraptor.

  6. ryuthrowsstuff says:

    His comments on the stegosaurus are incredibly outdated and flat wrong. Stegosaurus did not have 2 brains, and the claim that it was straight stupid has very little foundation.

    • Anonymous says:

      I have a zoology professor who says that Apatosaurus couldn’t raise its head that high, and so either swam (using its neck to graze on underwater plants) or would use its neck to graze at ground level over a wide area (so it didn’t have to walk all the time). He really doesn’t like the way paleontologists keep arguing that maybe they had multiple hearts in their necks.

      Captcha is harbor succeed

  7. Deadmeat says:

    Sadly I knew the right answer.

    Guess that’s what happens when you want to be a paleontologist when you’re a kid.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Jurassic Park was released in 1993… shortly after the discovery of the Utahraptor, which they depict in the film under the name Velociraptor and without the cuddly feathers.

    They kept the famous claw.

  9. James says:

    The audience ruin that for me, constant contrived sounding laughter.

  10. Rob Beschizza says:

    Ankylosaurus represent.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Where again is the soft tissue evidence proving whether Stegosaurus did or did not have two brains? Impossible to declare either theory flat wrong. That’s why they are still theories. It is interesting that “flat wrong” and “very little foundation” were used in the same argument for opposing positions.

  12. Brainspore says:

    Ankylosaurus was my favorite ever since I did a report on them in the second grade. The dude looked like an armadillo from hell and had a freakin’ mace for a tail!

  13. Anonymous says:

    via Linkbait: 8 ways Ankylosaurus can help you survive a plane crash.

  14. MelSkunk says:

    Ankylosaurus? How about Mymoorapelta, smart guy! Same genus, with awesome fucking SICKLES sticking out of the sides of his shoulders. Oh yeah! Nice try, though

  15. jphilby says:

    “isn’t the whole point of “truthiness” that the facts can be fudged for a gut feeling or “humor”?”

    Exactly! Geez you gripers sound like a bunch of dinosaur geeks! Chill! That man’s making beer money by being funny! How much you makin’ by bein’ all accurate ‘n stuff? Huh?

    I hesitate (oh what the hell) to point out that until the evidence is in, one hypothesis is as good as another.

    • AnthonyC says:

      “I hesitate (oh what the hell) to point out that until the evidence is in, one hypothesis is as good as another.”

      In the case of dino brain size that’s true, but in general it need not be so. Consider Russell’s teapot.

  16. Phrosty says:

    Ankylosaurus was definitely cool, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, “Christ, what an asshole.”

  17. The Unusual Suspect says:

    The Toronto Raptors suck too.

  18. johnpaul says:

    Ankylosaurus was my favourite dinosaur ever since I was in second grade (@Brainspore!), I was hoping someone would shout it out the whole time. I wrote a brilliant little short story about an ankylosaurus that, somehow, was transported into the present. The details are sketchy but I recall he went up against a tank at one point.

  19. dan winckler says:

    If you like’d this video, check out Dan’s new album Fossil Record, available on iTunes and as a CD. :)

  20. burnum says:

    This sketch is just begging to be animated.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Dan Telfer is my fave new comic. He’s looking for a job in NYC or LA. You should hire him. Seriously.

  22. Deadmeat says:

    @Anon#33

    You can get that tie at Thinkgeek:

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/hats-ties/9352/

  23. Choppers says:

    Dan Telfer and Elizabeth McQuern are the geniuses behind Chicago Underground Comedy – one of the best rooms in Chicago.

    http://www.chicagoundergroundcomedy.com/

  24. Fuzzy says:

    Dan’s great — if you ever get the chance to see him live, I’d heartily suggest it. And yeah, I second the suggestion about getting his new EP.

  25. Anonymous says:

    Bowser is an Ankylosaurus. Therefore: favorite.
    proof: http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/02/samurai-mario-1.jpg

  26. Anonymous says:

    Dan is hilarous. I loved this bit so much I ran off and got the album from Itunes. My only regret is that it isn’t longer. This guy really needs an hour long special somewhere to show the world what they are missing.

  27. Anonymous says:

    This makes me want to high five a cloud!

  28. Anonymous says:

    As far as outright size, I go with amphicoelias. 190 Feet long, 135 tons. This fucker was HUGE. Name doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, though. Oh well. Still awesome in my book :)

  29. JeffF says:

    My favorite was pachycephalosaurus.

    Pretty much the dinosaur version of big horn sheep.

  30. Hagrid says:

    The latest installment of xkcd is about tiny velocraptors…
    http://xkcd.com/758/

  31. Dread Pirate Robert says:

    I am totally stealing this bit (and cleaning it up, and fixing minor factual errors) for my end-of-unit finale on Dinosaurs.

    Teachers everywhere thank you.

  32. Anonymous says:

    Jurassic Park was released in 1993… shortly after the discovery of the Utahraptor, which they depict in the film under the name Velociraptor and without the cuddly feathers.

    They kept the famous claw.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utahraptor

    Yes, the Jurassic Park raptors were not accurate depicions of either species of the genus Velociraptor. No, they were not Utahraptors. The Utahraptor was significantly larger than the raptors depicted in Jurassic Park. The “famous claw” is a defining feature of the class Dromaeosuridae and not a novel feature of a single genus.

    The “teh segosaurus haz 2 brainz!” myth sprang from evidence of a nerve cluster observed in some dinosaur pelvises. The “sacral brain” theory never had much traction among paleontologists. It was not considered a likely interpretation even in the 1910s.

  33. gerta says:

    @#2, yes, only one brain, and much larger than a walnut at that. I’ll pile on with the gripes: Giganotosaurus is gi-ga-no-to-saur-us, not gi-gan-to-saur-us; and he keeps using the term “genus” to describe far more general taxonomic groups.

    Still funny, but needs more truthiness.

  34. Anonymous says:

    I like his tie. I wonder where I can get me one of those.

  35. WheatConspiracy says:

    I saw this guy open for Maria Bamford, who is hilarious, and he was really great. I’ve actually seen him open for her twice, with a year gap in between, and he’s gotten much better.

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