Comrade Commodore Unicorn


29 Responses to “Comrade Commodore Unicorn”

  1. Felton says:

    Is this another rock-paper-scissors variation?

    • millrick says:

      stalwart communist hero defeats running dog capitalist computer?

      • Felton says:

        Hehe! How about:

        Unicorn gores comrade, comrade crashes commodore, commodore calculates the improbability of the existence of unicorn.

        • Brainspore says:

          The only problem with that game is that the hand gesture for “unicorn” will get you an ass kicking most western countries.

  2. dole says:


  3. Deidzoeb says:

    I remember those peripherals. Frickin unicorn runs on tape, but at least the comrade could make impressive graphs.

  4. nixiebunny says:

    Finally, a unicorn chaser that doesn’t need a unicorn chaser.

  5. Rob Beschizza says:

    Technically, a unicorn chaser that is itself a remix of the thing being chased.

  6. Doran says:

    Still, I can’t get those cawl spoons out of my mind!

  7. Xeno says:


  8. iheartbeijing says:


    Serve the Unicorn!

  9. Anonymous says:

    me so horny

  10. Anonymous says:

    Commodity Fetishism meets Metaphysical Idealism meets Social Realism?

  11. Xenu says:

    This is what happens when you photoshop on drugs, kids.

  12. igpajo says:

    That’s actually a painting of the little known communist form of execution known as Unicorn impalement. What the commodore’s doing there is anyone’s guess.

  13. Rob Beschizza says:

    Juche! That’s the word I was looking for.

  14. Trotsky says:

    COMRADE: Comrade sense tingling! Something approaches, old friend.

    COMMODORE: Something. On. The. Wind.

    COMRADE: No. Not on the wind. I told you. My comrade sense… warning me of danger. But from where?

    COMMODORE: If. I. Had. Arms. Would. Untie. You.

    COMRADE: I know. You said that in the parking lot. Also, I don’t think we’re going to find an outlet on this hill. How are you doing?

    COMMODORE: Getting. Tired.

    COMRADE: Hold on.

    UNICORN (enters suddenly, at full gallop): STABBING HAPPENS!

    COMRADE (collapses bleeding): God-fuck. OW! That horse stabbed me.

    COMMODORE: This. Is. Probably. Not. A. Good. Time. To. Bring. This. Up… But. I. Think. I. Locked. The. Keys. In. The. Jeep.

    COMRADE: God! I’m… dying. Has that unicorn left yet?

    COMMODORE: He’s. By. The. Tree. That’s. A. Lot. Of. Blood.

    COMRADE: So cold. I never thought our glorious revolution would end… like this.

    COMMODORE: It’s. Pretty. Crazy. To. Be. Sure.

    COMRADE (Dies): Unnghh…

    COMMODORE: We’ll. Always. Have. Barstow.

  15. littleprince says:

    Serve the Unicorn, and the Unicon makes people exciting

  16. Anonymous says:

    Uh, how about a link or a photo credit? It’s so easy to make a profit on your blog when you don’t pay the artists. Leech.

    • Apart from the man, who is from the North Korean museum’s paintings, I don’t actually know who to cite as the pics were likely from FFFound or other poorly-chained sources. I painted the unicorn and computer (though very closely from the referenced sources) so think it’s fair to present this as an original work. But I’ll be more than happy to link to original photographers if they recognize their work here. I’m sorry about the lack of citation — we always link to our sources. I just don’t know where to link to in this case.

  17. Anonymous says:


  18. Wordguy says:

    “It’s too bad she won’t live! But then again, who does?”

  19. eaphelps says:

    Why can’t I find any information on this so-called sinchon massacre outside of communist blogs? Even google scholar and EBSCO searches with full text access (I’m at a University) is devoid of solid info.

  20. bjacques says:

    By the power of Juche, I untie myself from these imperialist ropes, grab the Commodore under one arm, and ride the unicorn in search of a power outlet!

  21. Rob Beschizza says:

    I found the source for the computer and have updated the post.

  22. bobk says:

    It’s a man and his PET.

  23. acb says:

    Comrade Commodore Unicorn is the new Selleck Waterfall Sandwich.

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