Iran declares war on mullets, ponytails for men; approves of hair gel and Elvis 'dos


45 Responses to “Iran declares war on mullets, ponytails for men; approves of hair gel and Elvis 'dos”

  1. Anonymous says:

    “Wonder what disasters the verboten hairdos for men cause? ”

    Nothing. A mullet *is* a disaster.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I’m all for a global ban on the mullet.

  3. Anonymous says:

    “Wonder what disasters the verboten hairdos for men cause?”

    What, like having mullets around isn’t punishment enough?

  4. Baldhead says:

    I am in favour of a mullet ban. I have yet to see someone not look silly in one.

  5. Anonymous says: has nothing about it.

  6. Anonymous says:

    But…how are the most manly of men supposed to flaunt their machismo if they can’t sport a wicked-crazy mullet?

  7. emo hex says:

    Next will be pants with the crotch down at your knees.

  8. Ugly Canuck says:

    If you can’t control their thoughts
    At least you can control their look.
    Personally, IMHO it would be worse if they decreed that all people MUST wear mullets: but I digress.
    I mean, why should people care
    If they have to cut their hair…

    All that beautiful hair:

    But oddly I had always thought that Persians had a “special relationship” with hair.
    I don’t know why. Perhaps this news confirms that. Or does it?

  9. Nadreck says:

    But what about “Beatley” hair. As I recall, having a mop-top was one of the things that would bring the whip-wielding morality police down on you in Afghanistan back when the Taliban was the official government.

  10. Ugly Canuck says:

    Oh thank Christ they have left the pomade be.
    I mean, praise Allah, for that.
    Tell me, is the porting of pomanders still permitted? Or do they propose prohibiting this, too?

  11. Ichabod says:

    When can America follow these standards as well?

  12. Cowicide says:

    Don’t do the ‘do.

  13. Felton says:

    Speaking of I-ran, is the Flock of Seagulls hairstyle still okay?

  14. John Markos O'Neill says:

    Wait, “With the exception of goatees, facial hair is frowned upon?” That can’t be right. The official in the picture has a full beard, as does Ahmadinejad, and most Iranian clerics do as well.

    • freshacconci says:

      That’s what I was thinking too. Maybe it’s the other way around. Beards are okay except for goatees which are too crazy-beatnik, satanic, Bolshevik and Jewish.

  15. Anonymous says:

    as an Iranian , I suggest all of you read 1984 to understand Iran situation and all these dummy rules, Big brother, endless wars, party, hate week and CONTROL.

  16. ryanrafferty says:

    @Xeni… There is a possibility of a landing strip lighting storm that could knock out power and other essential services… you really need to take these things more seriously!

  17. Anonymous says:

    “Wonder what disasters the verboten hairdos for men cause?”


  18. Anonymous says:

    Is there a link to the original article (even if it is in Farsi)?

  19. MadRat says:

    You have to remember this is the same government that considers men’s neck ties to be a symbol of Christianity. (Ever notice Ahmadinejad never wears a tie? Do a Google image search and you’ll see what I mean.)

  20. Not a Doktor says:

    “Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking.”

  21. hubbledeej says:

    Party in the back VERBOTEN!

  22. Anonymous says:

    I thought Islamic fundementalists required that you NOT shave your beard?

    • Noufal Ibrahim says:

      A lot of observant Muslims (myself included) wear our beards and moustaches in a certain way as part of a religious beliefs. To tar all of us a “Islamic fundamentalists” is a little insensitive. :) There are some sketchy details on wikipedia if you’re interested

      I’m a little sceptical about the article in general given the amount of misinformation that’s generally there in the media. A ban on facial hair would put the current Ayatollah and their president on the wrong side of the law.

      • Gag Halfrunt says:

        It’s just Xeni who misunderstood what the Daily Telegraph (not Reuters) article said about goatees, thinking that it referred to all beards. The France24 article doesn’t mention beards, but the barber in the photo has one.

      • TuesdayWeld says:

        Wikipedia is infinitely sketchy – possibly someone who knows the real rules for observant or fundamentalist Muslims could alter that Wiki page for the better? :)

        • Noufal Ibrahim says:

          Well, I used to but it’s extremely time consuming and the edit wars are no fun at all. I retired. :)

  23. Anonymous says:

    Now that I ponder the genius, Iranian cleric’s words I DO see a corrolation between sexy women – earthquakes – and California (California girls are unforgettable…)
    I used to think it was the faultline but now it’s obvious it was their fault.

  24. deckard68 says:

    Their president imitates the west by wearing business suits and his hair parted down the side, newscaster style, and they say the intent is NOT to look Western?

  25. Dapper Swain says:

    So THAT’S why the people in the Middle East shoot at you in MGS4.

  26. robcat2075 says:

    “Facial hair is frowned upon”?

    Have they seen a picture of their President?

    Is it possible this article is a fraud, like the one a couple years ago claiming the Iranian parliament had passed a law requiring Jews to wear identifying clothing?

    • Gag Halfrunt says:

      It’s goatees, not beards in general, that were unacceptable. The Reuters article says, “Most of the models are clean-shaven although one picture features a man with a goatee beard, previously frowned upon by Iran’s conservative clerics.”

      On the subject of ties, wearing one is deemed to be unacceptable Western dress, while the absense of a tie is enough to count as non-Western. Except for clerics, I don’t get the impression that Iranian men wear traditional dress in everyday life.

    • Effsix says:

      Yeah, I reckon the photo is actually of Treadstone discussing their new Jason Bourne style international assassins. Check out the top right guy, you can tell he’s well got some moves. Imagine the middle-right guy comin’ at ya with his hair.

  27. fr4nk says:

    Sorry, Iran.
    My hair is a bird, your argument is invalid.

  28. pixleshifter says:

    That’s not a hairdo..
    It’s a hairdon’t.

  29. benher says:

    Ah, the Decadent Mullet! That was the soundtrack to my 1993!

  30. iamanumlaut says:

    Hmmm…does the Texas GOP have a section on acceptable hair styles? I honestly think that the GOP, deep-down, is actually envious of Iran.

    • AirPillo says:

      It’s not so deep down. Policing a minority’s institutional morality by law, and pruning the rights available to women (except by proxy of a husband), are pretty common themes.

      So is, curiously, authoritarian control over personal lives.

  31. Anonymous says:

    “Hey Iran, you can have my Mullet when you pry it from my cold, dead, scalp” Eric Contakos, American, Patriot, and proud Mullet Enthusiast

  32. Anonymous says:

    A Simple Explanation of Mullets

  33. Nelson.C says:

    So Cory’s flat-top and fenders are completely out?

  34. nickodemus says:

    What about the Satan Stach’?

  35. Anonymous says:

    What disasters can verboten styles of men’s hair do? I’m pretty sure they can cause hair on the palms, or in worst cases, blindness.

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