Buzzword Blank Verse: the Search Engine video podcast returns!

Jesse Brown of the Search Engine podcast has just kicked off a new season of video installments. He sez, "It's called 'The Guru', and consists of the jargon contained therein was submitted to me by Search Engine listeners. They swear they've heard it all used in earnest!"

It's like blank verse composed by MBAs. The fact that some people get off on this phrasing is further proof of Rule 34.

The Guru (Thanks, Jesse!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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s243a

I like it. The way he does it though almost sounds as it might mean something. It is kind of poetic.
David Carroll

This needs to be Autotuned.
S2

Sounds the same as every French class I ever took….
imag

That sounds just as dumb as when non-IT people try to string together a bunch of IT jargon because they think it’s all meaningless.

I just started working with a bunch of MBAs a year and a half ago. I think MBAs, and their thought process, is in some ways bringing down the planet. But I don’t think the jargon is to blame. Most of the terms he tries to make fun of in this bit actually mean something, something that would take at least 5-10 words to explain without the jargon. That’s the point of jargon.

I’m sure MBAs would all get a kick out of watching someone say, “POP… IP Address… Random Access Memory…”

One could do the same thing with doctors, the military, engineers… woo, hysterical.
jimh

“They swear they’ve heard it all used in earnest!”

Working with corporate types as I sometimes do, I have heard *most* of these used in one conference room or another. My eyes are usually too glazed over to roll when it occurs.

However, when more than two are used in the same sentence, it tends to wake me up a little.
MadMolecule

I used to have a coworker who could seemingly speak for hours using nothing but phrases like these. It didn’t take long to figure out that they were just camouflage for his total lack of ideas.

I left that job a few years ago, and I recently ran into that guy. He still talks like that.
dash

I usually have to pay $150/hr to have a guy talk this dirty to me.
Clayton

Someone needs to look up blank verse in the dictionary.