'70s motor-boat ad celebrates "your johnson" (video)

You, your friends, and your johnson. (thanks, Matty Granger)


    1. I’m in my 30s and I’m not ashamed to say that I cracked up. Dick jokes are always funny, no matter how old you are. Other things that never stop being funny: Farts, boogers, and monkeys dressed as people.

    2. >> funny. if you’re a 12 year old boy.

      Is capitalization, along with humor, also the exclusive domain of the 12 year-old boy?

  1. This would be a great MP3 to swap on someone’s cell phone as their ringtone. I am 12 year old Spartacus too.

  2. ‘You, your kids, and your Johnson.”

    Highly disconcerting. I never understood people’s love for water sports.

  3. I would have been around 12, or less, the first time this aired. I know I wouldn’t have laughed, because I wouldn’t have understood the double meaning! Odds are, I DID see this commercial, because we lived on the water, and advertising in that area was heavily into water sports. Um, no double meaning there.

  4. Just think. They probably once had a team of trademark lawyers, ever vigilant lest “Johnson” become a generic term for “outboard motor.” Let this be a lesson to you, Kleenex® and Frisbee®!

  5. At 40 years, am I the oldest 12-year-old boy here? It might have been the earnest delivery, but I snorted my chocolate Quik right out my nose.

    1. I, too, am a 12-year-old Spartacus, and I’m 50. But I the chocolate Quik wins you the “most like a 12-year-old” prize!

  6. Several years ago, I became aware of a company that made a small electric motor that they called “Big Johnson”. Like much of today’s spam, they urged potential customers to get a “Big Johnson”.

  7. Anyone remember the Chloraseptic spot that starts with the 6 year girl saying “It’ll hurt if I swallow?” Still gives me nightmares…

  8. Heh! I just realized that I was exactly 12 when I learned the “johnson” double entendre, since that’s the year Police Academy came out. Of course, my last name is Johnson, so I was bound to learn it eventually.

  9. I was compelled to look up the etymology behind the word “Johnson” just to see if these people were aware of the extraodinary amount of WTF in their commercial… Turns out, they were… Sick bastards… Oh, and just so ya know, using the term Johnson as a synonym for your junk actually dates back to 1863… There, now ya know…

  10. I have a Johnson. I mean on my boat. Well, I have both kinds. Anyway, I’m a long way from 12 and I have to admit that I try to fit the word Johnson into conversation any time boating comes up. I was a marine engine mechanic for a number of years and I tended to giggle every time a customer came in with a problem with the Johnson. Some got it, many did not.

  11. Hahahaha?…. no. I think you have to be american to find this uproariously funny. Or Beavis and Butthead.

    1. I challenge your hypothesis. Forty one, female, Canadian and a bookhead Scrabble champ here. I will attest that it is really pretty effin’ funny.

      Perhaps you would prefer a British take on the subject of penile nicknames:

  12. And then there was the “Long Johnson” SUV someone came up with (I think it’s a range of t-shirts).
    “No hole’s too deep or sloppy when you’ve got a Long Johnson”.

  13. Ah, the Johnson. My favorite until recently was the old Johnson two-stroke. Later I discovered the Johnson four-stroke. It’s amazing the reciprocating action of a properly stroking Johnson.

  14. I feel a bit embarrassed to say that it won’t start for me. The video that is, not the Johnson.

  15. I just wanted to take this opportunity, in front of the assembled Boys’ and Girls’ Club of Greater Cleveland, Boing Boing, and my world-wide fan base who have enjoyed my comments here for the past several years, to announce that next fall I will be taking my Johnson to South Beach.

  16. The first person I will invite to board my Johnson will be Don Johnson. Oh, it will be Miami Vice all right. Johnson and Johnson. Johnson on Johnson. And such.

  17. Apparently „Johnson“ is American for Schwanz, I get it.

    However, what I find really intersting is the lack of live vests.

    Those were realy manly men (and manly girl), to go mano-a-mano with a fierce freshwater lake.

  18. That was funny. I am old enough to remember when this was on and when people talked about their boats like that and having ‘Johnson Outboards’ whatever that is. I remember when I first heard the male anatomy part referred to as a ‘Johnson’ I was a young adult and didn’t get what that had to do with boating. I have led a very confused life at times!

  19. For the record, I do have a sense of humor. I have laughed at dick jokes in the past. I just didn’t find this to be particularly funny. I think that maybe when I was around 12 or so, I might have.

    There is nothing wrong with having the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy,(and being very proud of it). Rest assured, you are all very youthful, irreverent, funny and cool.

  20. I laughed out loud, which I usually don’t do with most things on the nets. Especially the tagline, “You and Your Johnson, a way of life for over 50 years”, because I’m 52 years old. Classic!

  21. I think that maybe when I was around 12 or so, I might have.

    I bet not even then!

  22. I also would like to point out that boating laws in many states say that children under 14 are not allowed to operate a Johnson, and you must be wearing a life vest when using your Johnson on open water.

  23. I bet that if people had to pass a test and get a license before using a Johnson, we wouldn’t have so many accidents.

  24. I have heard from a lot of housewives complain that their husband’s Johnson breaks down a lot and can’t perform when it is more than 50 years old.

  25. Serial killer verse:

    blood stained sheets,
    piece of meet,
    you, your vic & your Johnson

    Catholic Priest verse:

    can’t take a wife,
    secret life,
    you, some boys, & your Johnson

    Meme verse:

    some will claim,
    new internet meme,
    last verse must end with Johnson

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