Lobsterotica, 1921

Oh, it gets better. Read the whole thing. I dare say it's borderline NSFW. Lobsturbation?

Excerpt from "A Lobster Hypnotized," Ashburton Guardian (New Zealand), Volume XLI, Issue 9464, 11 March 1921, Page 2. (via NLNZ via Bibliodyssey)


  1. Hold the presses- they found an uneducated lobster who was also a big fish? I thought fish tended to be found in schools?

    [rimshot/duck to avoid hurled vegetables]

  2. Yeah. They do that.

    When I lived in Boston we went and bought a 17 pound lobster. My roommate from Maine showed me how to run a finger forward along the “nose” at the top of the shell and after a few of these it’s eye stalks retracted and it stopped moving. We set it up tripod style on its nose and two claws. After about 15 seconds it woke up and flopped over.

  3. Just how do you discover a talent like that “quite accidentally”?

    Something smells fishy here and I bet it’s not just Mr Duncan’s fingers.

  4. This definitely works… in Maine growing up, when we would cook (boil) lobsters, all the kids would ‘hypnotize’ the lobsters so they wouldn’t “fell the burning”. You would know that your lobster was ready when you could balance it on it’s nose (claws underneath, making a crude tripod). Unclear if this ‘hypnosis’ actually helped the lobster at all…

  5. So now we know how Lobster Girl came into being.

    This works on a lot of reptiles too, by rubbing their belly, you can put them to sleep. I have seen this demonstrated on alligators and I used to do this with lizards I would catch that we called “chameleons” because of their color changing camouflage, though I’m sure that is not their official taxonomy.

    1. Well, that’s like hypnotizing chickens*, as Mr Osterburg would say.

      we called “chameleons” because of their color changing camouflage, though I’m sure that is not their official taxonomy.

      Anoles, probably.

      *hypnotizing chickens was standard operating practice in the Ministry of Agriculture when my father worked there in the 1970s.

  6. Dear Xeni, I must say I do appreciate your apparent lively interest in all things erotic, up to and including this anecdote of interspecies canoodling with a dash of light BD. Not unknown to produce results other than a warm afterglow, per


    As for a human/crustacean relationship, you know it’s going to end badly, with our man lighting up a postcoital smoke as his “untrained confederate” ponders the inside of a pot. Men!!

  7. Our lobster overlords have a weakness!

    Keanu Reeves must be informed immediately of this.

  8. yesterday my arachnophobia was triggered thanks to BB

    today my decapod phobia is making me all twitchy

    i gotta start taking my meds BEFORE reading boing boing

  9. Where I work, we call this Lobster Yoga. I wish I could say we do it to give the lobsters a less painful passing, but mostly we do it to creep out the garde manger guy. His insect phobia apparently carries over to lobsters.

  10. I did a shark dive in the Bahamas (Nasau).

    The shark expert (who was on shark week), floated down in chainmail, grabbed an 8 foot reef shark, then started rubbing it’s head, putting it into a trance. He then brought the shark over to the other divers and let us pet the shark while it was floating in a trance…when we were done, he tapped it on the head, it woke up and swam away.


  11. Sure you can get away with this kind of thing with the “wild, uneducated” lobster described, but a sophisticated, properly bred one will sue your ass.

  12. I wonder what a brainwave/eeg scan of the lobster would show. What the heck, do the chicken and the shark, too.

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