Darth Bank Robber

A bank robber dressed as Darth Vader took ripped off a bank in Long Island on Thursday, armed with a semiautomatic (not a lightsaber -- fraud!).

'Darth Vader' Robs Bank on Long Island (Thanks, David!)


    1. Phisro, you win the internets for today.
      I agree, this is much more likely to be Hans in disguise than Darth. Gotta pay off Jabba somehow.
      No doubt the get-away driver was described as 7 feet tall and covered in fur…

  1. I am your father, therefore all your money are belong to us, beam it into my hand or you will be assimilated.

  2. Good disguise. Covers the whole body, cape distorts body shape and size to a certain extent. Common enough character that it is easily obtainable, and easily explainable.
    While you’d get some attention walking down the street wearing it, who would assume that you’re going to (or have already) rob(bed) a bank?
    On par with that super realistic ‘The Player’ mask that was featured in a similar article here a few months ago, imho.
    This is how you do it, folks…

    1. At least at all the banks that I’ve been too remotely recently(northeastern US, past 5-10 years), the glass screen is basically dead. Now that armor-plated ATMs have functionally replaced clerks for the majority of transactions, most of the remaining humans are besuited “personal advisor” types, set in an environment designed to give the customer a sense of ease and prosperity while they are upsold on a variety of financial instruments.(they do do basic customer service as well, and they won’t spit on you if you have an ATMish request or anything; but that definitely isn’t the design goal).

      To that end, and also because not much cash is floating around in physical form on the floor anymore, a sort of vaguely “corporate chic” aesthetic has taken over, for which bullet-resistant glasss would be a little lowbrow.

      You can see, in the top left corner of the top photo, a line of (probably bulletproof) glass partitions at an angle to the camera, most likely left over from an earlier period in the branch’s history, and too expensive to rip out; but the line of open desks, like the one Vader is holding up, dominates the viewing angle.

      Check-cashing joints, and convenience stores in really shitty neighborhoods are still rocking the bulletproof glass(heck, I used to eat at a fast food place in Chicago sometimes where the food was transferred to the customer through a rotating bulletproof carousel…); but they are very much out of fashion for retail banks in nicer areas, which are pretty much exclusively about getting people to open assorted electronic accounts, and smoothing over issues therewith, to keep the fees flowing.

      1. “heck, I used to eat at a fast food place in Chicago sometimes where the food was transferred to the customer through a rotating bulletproof carousel” Did that happen to be a Harolds Chicken. I moved out of Obamas neighborhood about the same time he did and our Harolds did the bullet proof glass caurosel thing. They also left the door to the alley wide open so I think it was just too expensive to rip out. As crime rates continue to fall they have definantly fallen out of fashion.

        1. It isn’t an authentic Harold’s Fried Chicken experience if the store lacks the bulletproof plexiglass carousel. Anything north of Roosevelt doesn’t count, either. This is the South Side, ‘baby!

    2. It’s not odd at all unless this bank was located in the heart of an extra-nasty ghetto. Banks generally don’t encase their workers in glass in the ‘burbs.

  3. jungletek and if you do it when there’s a con in town…Sounds like a wacky caper film to me.

  4. Top would be, if there was some Star Wars convention nearby and this guy walked right into a hall full with other characters.

  5. The police don’t know whether to look for a James Earl Jone, Dave Prowse or Sebastian Shaw type.

  6. A usage note: One is “on” Long Island, not “in” Long Island.

    -A former Long Islander

  7. the emperor said he had to pay for the next death star out of his own pocket, so extreme measures were taken…

  8. Calling all cars, calling all cars, be on the lookout for a Sith Lord possibly involved in a Long Island bank robbery. Suspect is described as tall, dark, with respitory problems and prone to violent behavior. Treat as mechanical-armed and dangerous. Do not, I repeat, do not assume there is any good left in him.

  9. “I find your lack of faith in my gun . . . disturbing.”

    He should be far more afraid of Lucas’s inevitable copyright-infringement suit than of the armed robbery charges….

  10. Anyone remember the Klingon robber? Used a what the police described as a Bat’leth to hold up a 7-11?

  11. Bulletproof glass doesn’t work against modern weapons. So it’s still useful in gas stations, liquor stores and similar situations with drop-safes and very little cash is on hand, because people with expensive guns and expensive ammo aren’t going to bother robbing places where they can’t score more than $300. But in a real bank robbery, where there is a serious potential payout, it’s not a problem for the robbers to make or buy armor-piercing rounds.

  12. Could you imagine if some one did this in San Diego during Comic Con… you might get away with it.

  13. My Star Wars one-liner for the day,

    “Are you sure he’s not just making a depo-sith?”

    Rimshot, please.

  14. Well, duh: he’s a Sith Lord. Not like he’s going to be volunteering down at the soup kitchen…

  15. Strangely, the police were at my grandmother’s house yesterday (we live in the same area as Darth) and I overheard something about Darth Vader committing robbery on the scanner, but I thought I had misheard. Turns out it was true!

  16. Being a bad ass supervillan has its cost, so, the money have to come out from somewhere!!!!!!!!!

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