Transvestite had sex with dog in English castle moat

Pendennis_1683141c.jpg From Britain's Daily Telegraph:
The cross-dressing man was caught with the animal in the dry moat of King Henry VIII's Pendennis Castle overlooking Falmouth Bay in Cornwall. ... As the two ladies spotted the cross dresser he ran away. Later one of [their] dogs chased after the man; by the time the women had caught up, the man was having sex with the pet. Castle staff then restrained the man while police were called.
The gent was cautioned by police for "outraging public decency." Transvestite had sex with a dog at English Heritage castle [Telegraph]

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  1. A spokesman for English Heritage said: “This was a very rare incident”.

    I would hope so!

    Oh, and I too welcome the return of shocked kitty.

  2. Heh! I’m a huge fan of Eddie Izzard. He makes me want to be a transvestite almost as much as the movie Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

  3. “Pendennis Castle, managed by English Heritage, is a popular family tourist attraction and was heaving with visitors in high season.”

    ‘Heaving?’ Really? I think I would have chosen a slightly less visceral word. Shocked Kitteh is heaving, too.

  4. The “gent was cautioned”? Uh, was it consentual? What the heck do you have to do to get arrested in England?

    1. What the heck do you have to do to get arrested in England?

      Taking pictures of the castle might’ve done it.

    2. Vaginal or anal penetration of an animal is illegal. Maybe the dog was “on top”?

      Maximum sentence is two years. An animal cruelty charge is probably more likely?

  5. Ahead of the curve to break the latest RNC senatorial scandal…

    on a separate note, the Captcha test for this was “Yorkshire trauma”

  6. A cross dresser is not a transvestite they are super different things you crazy baby. A transvestite is a screwed up term in the first place and offensive. But not as screwy as someone who gets lovin on with doggies on the English countryside.

    1. Transvestite. trans-vest-ite. trans for opposite, vest for garments, ite for person.

      Cross dresser. cross for opposite, dress for garments, er for person.

  7. Now they’re probably going to have to post a sign: NO DOG-FUCKING IN MOAT. Then it would be against the rules and demand punishment.

  8. You gotta stomp, whistle and scream
    You gotta wake right up in your dreams
    You gotta jump, wheel and drive
    Keep that feeling alive

    You gotta kick, holler and shout
    I’m gonna tell you what it’s all about
    You gotta tell me that you love me
    Tell me that you’re mine

    We’re putting on the dog tonight
    We’re putting on the dog tonight
    We’ll be p…putting on the dog tonight
    Putting on, putting on the dog tonight
    We’ll be putting on the dog tonight
    We’ll be putting on the dog tonight
    Putting on the dog
    Putting on the dog

    We’ll flip, we’ll follow and fly
    Just do it now and don’t ask why
    You gotta strut, wiggle and slide
    Let everybody know that you’re alive

    You gotta crank, gallop and twist
    Do it once, you’ll never resist
    Tell me that you love me
    Tell me that you’re mine

    We’re putting on the dog tonight
    Putting on the dog tonight, alright

    Well we’ll be going to a sooky jump it’s rain and it pours
    Big old Lecky with his suicide doors
    Tip that bottle from the brim to the dregs
    You ain’t dancing ’till you cross your legs

    Putting on the dog tonight
    We’ll be putting on the dog tonight
    We’ll be putting on the dog tonight
    Putting on the dog tonight
    Putting on the dog
    I’ve been p…putting on the dog
    Putting on the dog
    Putting on the dog
    Putting on the dog
    Putting on the dog

    -Tom Waits

    1. Heehee!

      You can’t live with ’em, you can’t live without ’em.
      There’s somethin’ irresistabullish about ’em.
      We grin and bear it ’cause the nights are long.
      I hope that somethin’ better comes along.

      It’s no good complainin’ and pointless to holler.
      If she’s a beauty she’ll get under your collar.
      She made a monkey out of old King Kong,
      I hope that somethin’ better comes along.

      Ah, but what could be better than a saucy Irish setter
      When puppy love comes on strong?
      Or a collie that’s classy, a laddie needs a lassie,
      A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life.

      I don’t mean to scare ya, my friend, but I betcha
      Come “Father’s Day”, the litter bug’s gonna getcha;
      The urge is righteous, but the face is wrong.
      I hope that somethin’ better comes along.

      Still, it’s fun when they’re fetching,
      And agree to see an etching
      That you keep at your lily pad.
      There is no solution, it’s part of evolution,
      You’ll sooner hear the souls,
      The little feet of tadpoles.

      (Ah, Rowlf, tadpoles don’t have feet!)
      (Oh. Sorry about that…. 2, 3, 4)

      There’s no limitation to mixin’ and matchin’
      Some get an itchin’ for a critter they’ve been scratchin’.
      A skunk was badgered the results were strong.
      I hope that somethin’ better,
      I hope that somethin’ better,
      I hope that somethin’ better comes along.
      (Beep bop bidder da dum dum bum bum bum!)

      -Rolf the Dog

  9. Vaginal or anal penetration of an animal is illegal in England? Must have been oral, then. The article doesn’t mention whether or not the dog was satisfied with the outcome of the investigation. Maybe the dog was cautioned, too.

  10. This is funnier because of what the Brits call the act of engaging in sexual conduct in a public place, namely, “Dogging.”

    1. You better stop, yeah, dogging me around
      If you don’t stop, yeah, I’m gonna put you down

      Cause I can’t take much longer
      My hearts getting weak and it’s not getting any stronger
      You keep me so upset my heads in a whirl
      But if you want to be my girl

      You better stop, yeah, dogging me around
      If you don’t stop, yeah, I’m gonna put you down

      Cause you know you go out nights to have yourself a ball
      And sometimes you don’t, you don’t make it home at all
      I don’t mind you having yourself a real good time
      But now what you’re trying to do, trying to make me lose my mind

      You better stop, yeah, dogging me around
      If you don’t stop, yeah, I’m gonna put you down
      Yes put you down

      -Jackie Wilson

  11. What was odd is that they were in the reverse cowgirl position – not at all what you’d expect.

  12. He’d been fucking a pig earlier, and the dog was all, bacon? bacon bacon bacon bacon, I SMELL BACON!!!!!

  13. And they called it puppy love
    Oh i guess they’ll never know
    how a young heart really feels
    and just why i love her so
    and they called it puppy love
    just because we’re in our teens
    tell them all
    please tell them it isn’t fair
    to take away my only dream
    i cry each night
    my tears for you
    my tears are all in vain
    i hope and i pray
    that maybe someday
    you’ll be back (you’ll be back) in my arms(in my arms)
    once again
    someone help me
    help me
    help me please
    is the answer up above?
    how can i
    oh how can i tell them
    this is not a puppy love
    someone help me
    help me
    help me please
    is the answer up above?
    how can i
    oh how can i tell them
    this is not a puppy love
    (this is not a puppy love)
    (this is not a puppy love)
    not a puppy love
    (this is not a puppy love

  14. Stephen: Fine speech. Now what do we do?
    William Wallace: Just be yourselves.
    Hamish: Where are you going?
    William Wallace: I’m going to pick a fight.
    Hamish: Well, we didn’t get dressed up for nothing.

  15. OK, all joking (some funny some just not).

    There is a HUGE, really, really big difference between a dude in a dress and a transvestite.

    The headline is potentially offensive to transgender community. Something I used to role my eyes at, but seeing it bandied about here in relation to dog f*cking, I get it.

    1. “There is a HUGE, really, really big difference between a dude in a dress and a transvestite.”

      No there isn’t, there’s a big difference between a dude in a dress and a *transsexual*.

      From the transvestite wiki:

      “Transvestism (also called transvestitism) is the practice of cross-dressing, which is wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. ”

  16. Speaking of aristocrats… didn’t anyone else find it peculiar that the usually-not-hesitant-to-name-names English press didn’t name the perp? I’m guessing that it was a member of the House of Lords.

  17. I wonder if he’ll take the opportunity to update his CV and include “Dog-Breeder” under “Experience”

  18. The dog was seen wandering around the castle again today. Looking for a little hair of the human that bit him.

  19. After reading all the responses, I just have to say, you’re all a buncha beautiful bitches.

    …Just keep up your britches.

    1. …Just keep up your britches.

      You mean pants? Get it? Pants? Okay, I’m running out of material here…

      1. Obviously, he found the dog rather fetching, but he didn’t have to rub his nose in it. But he had heard doggie style was the way to do it, so he gave it a rut in the rut that day. When the doggie finally ditched him, he was left howling, though he’d skirt the issue later if you chanced to bring it up. Doggedly, he persevered, as if he had appointed himself minister of the in-terrier! But in hind-sight, he found discretion to be his best friend. He resolved himself to find a shelter for future expeditions he’d mount, such as a simple pup tent. Thus, no one would have a bone to pick with him when it all went down in dog town again, as he’d addressed the issue.

  20. “Sit! Stay! Come . . . no, no, not like that! What will people think if they see us . . .”

  21. @nutbastard for fear of provoking more, well more anything really.

    A dude in a dress does not a transvestite make. Transgender includes transvestite, as well as, transexual.

    And, unless this was a man who shaves legs, chest, face, and often eyebrows without nicks, painstakingly wraps his package to minimize unsightly bulges, is adept at the art of wig-ery, and can evenly apply eye liner AND lipliner/stick w/o the aid of a mirror. Well then my friend, it was just a dude in a dress. And, seemingly a crazy dude in a dress.

    Transvestism is not just a way of life, its an art.

    btw-I didn’t say YOUR jokes weren’t funny. Although….

  22. This story reminds me of a transvestite I once spoke to that told me about a guy she met on a horrendous fetish transexual/transvestite alternative website called Birchplace he had fantasies about watching someone shag his pet alsation what kind of sick world are we living in ? Though these posts are jovial it is extremely sick

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