CO gov candidate: Denver mayor's pro-bicycle ideas part of UN New World Order conspiracy

"At first, I thought, 'Gosh, public transportation, what's wrong with that, and what's wrong with people parking their cars and riding their bikes? And what's wrong with incentives for green cars?' But if you do your homework and research, you realize [the public transport initiative] is part of a greater strategy to rein in American cities under a United Nations treaty."—noted nutjob and Colorado Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes. [via BB Submitterator, thanks John Napsterista]

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  1. I seem to recall that tearing up the roads in Aspen and investing in a fleet of public bicycles was a big part of Hunter S. Thompson’s Freak Power platform.

  2. If the tea bagger-influenced GOP wins the house this fall, CNN is going to be a 24/7 parade of loonies giving floor speeches about and demanding investigations of every screw-loose conspiracy theory out there.

    Did you hear the one about the “mysterious” red numbers on the back of Social Security card? Some of the nutbags thing they’re the routing number of the British bank that you were assigned as Federal Reserve collateral to when you were born.

    (Note: The red number is actually a serial number for the particular piece of card stock the card was printed on. The Social Security administration keeps tabs on the blanks to prevent misuse.)

  3. “greater strategy to rein in American cities under a United Nations treaty.”

    So what? Is “the United Nations” one of those things that make conservatives explode in anger regardless of what the context is, kinda like taxes or black people?

    1. You mean you’ve never heard a right winger go on about the UN’s black helicopters and the concentration camps it’s building in the US? Ominous warnings about a “world government”?

      If not, consider yourself lucky.

    2. “Is ‘the United Nations’ one of those things that make conservatives explode in anger regardless of what the context is, kinda like taxes or black people?”

      Yes.

      Before you know it, Danes in blue helmets will be patrolling American streets.

  4. So what? Is “the United Nations” one of those things that make conservatives explode in anger regardless of what the context is, kinda like taxes or black people?

    Perhaps comments like these are the reason I don’t discuss politics with people.

    But on the top of the actual article…
    Isn’t the bike program kind of trading one set of issues for another? If I lived closer to work I “might” bike, that and if they had a shower. So now that you have people taking showers at least twice a day aren’t you really just using/processing more water? Alright you are using less gas and creating less pollution, but I see trade offs here as well.

    If they could be made cheap enough, single person EV transports would be the way to go.

    1. I ride a little over 6 miles to get to work and I don’t shower. At most I use a face wipe and/or hand towel and change clothes. None of my students have complained about me smelling, and if anyone would, it’s 14 year olds.

      I think that’s a big misconception about bike commuting that people need to get over – you don’t need special clothes, you don’t need a shower, and you don’t need an expensive bike.

      1. I think that’s a big misconception about bike commuting that people need to get over – you don’t need special clothes, you don’t need a shower, and you don’t need an expensive bike.

        While it is true that these things are not necessary for bike commuting, they sure are nice to have.

        And yes, my commute is 8 miles, uphill both ways and usually with a headwind.

        1. If you’re riding uphill both ways then you’re clearly going to work on one route then home another route.

          Here’s an idea, switch which one you take at both ends of the day and you’ll be heading downhill both to and from work!

          I love how somehow the argument that providing a public bike hire scheme is somehow attacking personal freedoms.

          You’re giving people more options! More choices! STOP STEAAAAALLLING OUUURR FREEEEEDOMS!!!

  5. What a rule of thumb: if the rest of the world does it, or wants to do it, it must be wrong. We could extend this into so MANY areas.
    -wearing clothes: WRONG!
    -eating cooked food: WRONG!
    -living indoors: WRONG!

    It’s enough to make a Republican soil his panties!

  6. ‘The program includes encouraging employers to install showers so more people will ride bikes to work…’

    Showers?! Government showers? socialist government showers?!!

    1. @joncro Showers? I shouldn’t need to remind anyone here that the Jews in Auschwitz were also told that they were going to the “showers”.

      You see, this is how it starts. First, you have free UN-endorsed bicycles. Then they start taking your taxpayer dollars to install UN-designed ‘showers’. And then … mass extermination!

  7. Yes, the UN freaks out the far-right wackos as completely anti-America–for some it’s their biggest trigger even beating out blacks, welfare and immigration.

  8. I missed the whole thing on showers. What? I bike everyday to work and I don’t need a shower when I get to work. OK, I don’t live in Florida, so maybe it’s necessary in the southern US. I wouldn’t know. But unless you’re biking 2 hours uphill in both directions, I’d say the showering thing is maybe a bit unnecessary.

    1. When you live in Colorado, it’s quite possible that you’re biking two hours uphill each way…

  9. Ah, yes, the United Nations. Reliable bugaboo of the far right…

    …Except when they are trying to think up excuses for invading Iraq. Then they are all about those UN Mandates!

  10. It’s a morning commute, not the Tour de France. If you’re peddling so hard you need a shower afterwards you should try downshifting a gear or three.

  11. OK, if Maes’ supposition made no sense than go back and read comment no. 5. On the top of what article? What’s on top of it? Why do I have to shower when I ride my bike? Do I have to shower if I don’t ride my bike? Seriously, wtf are you talking about? Is the trade off more biking less water? If so, I still don’t get wtf you are talking about.

    Jesus Christ, I feel like the guy from the movie “Network”

    but I am yelling at you bcsizemo and candidate Maes…..
    I don’t know if I am mad as hell, but I truly can’t take it anymore.

  12. Denverite here… On the plus side, his inane comments all but guarantee that current Denver mayor John Hickenlooper wins the gubernatorial election… I hope…

  13. The thing is.. This is a 3 way race. The winner of the Maes/McInnis primary gets to run against Tom Tancredo and Hickenlooper in the general election.

    People have generally made up their minds about Tancredo and did so in 2004, or so.

    Maes’ only real chance in this election was to come in as an unknown and define himself and go for the generally solid Republican majority in the state. Pull in some generally conservative democrats and he could win. But, to win – he absolutely has to take votes away from Hickenlooper. Until today, Tancredo had the market on a publicly crazy side of the right.

    This is the kind of story that has legs and can really define a candidate. He could come out and say a few things and be able to gloss it over, but when he crossed into UN conspiracy land, he lost the ability to define himself.

  14. Did you hear the one about the “mysterious” red numbers on the back of Social Security card? Some of the nutbags thing they’re the routing number of the British bank that you were assigned as Federal Reserve collateral to when you were born.

    Almost correct – it’s actually the account number. I own a couple of mid-westerners, a Washingtonian and a junior Senator.

    PS why does my comment appear all bold, at least in preview?

    1. That’s happened to me before… Anything after >blockquote> ends up bold.

      I think it’s some sort of movable type vs css battle raging behind the scenes.

  15. Oh, angusm, and the rest of you, please, no more funny comments. Every time I read a good comment it reinforces my O-C drive to keep reading comments. I’ll never get back to work.

  16. I rode my bicycle 7 miles to work when I lived in Denver and did not need a shower when I got there. There is no humidity and you don’t sweat. Bicycle riding is a good idea for conserving energy and for reducing the number of Americans who are overweight.

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