Unsuck it: translate douchey business jargon into normal language

Unsuck it!

[thanks to the many readers who suggested this]

• [Anonymous]

  Useless! I entered four or five common jargon terms – and got no response.

• [Anonymous]

  Ok, if this actually works, it could provide a great service to humanity

• [Anonymous]

  at first I thought this had something the do with the David Wallace character (from the Office) and his story-line last season.

  I have a feeling this is going to be really handy to have in my bookmarks at work.

• [pelrun]

  I remember a conversation I had with an old work colleague on this topic – we came up with the term “resemanticated bullshit” (i.e. bullshit with a layer of semantics laid over the top) for this stuff. It’s nice to see a desemanticator!

• [BearsAssaultedByBasil]

  This really aught to be more like the Devil’s Dictionary.

• [Trent Hawkins]

  is there a way to re-suck-it and convert a document completely to business jargon?

• [Trent Hawkins]

  good find:
  Social Media Guru

  The company’s social media guru thinks we should be on Facebook.
  Unsucked:

  Douche rocket.

• [invictus]

  This has made the time I spent over the last six years reading bb worth it.

• [nutbastard]

  I’m mostly tickling taint… i’m assuming this site is in its infancy?

  • [invictus]

    Just hit “browse” for the full list of terms they have unsucked thus far.

• [EggyToast]

  Most business-speak is just dumb, but some of the “terrible business jargon” seems to strike me as similar to “why do we need so many names for Red? Just call it red!” Often you get more nuance and are more easily understood if you use a more apt phrasing or word.

  For example, while “personal branding” can be called “reputation,” Reputation is generally seen as passive — it’s what others think of you. Personal branding is more active, and is generally meant as “how you sell yourself.” That nuance is important when you’re trying to tell people how to, say, interview for a job or pitch a product/project. I would never use it in place of “reputation” (such as “the impression you gave them hurt your personal brand”) but its intended use is fine, IMO.

  I used to also think “deliverable” was lame, until I realized how useful it was. Their replacement, “piece of a project,” just goes to show how awkward other phrases are. A “deliverable” is essentially the real-world equivalent of an “assignment” from school.

• [DaveP]

  A lot of these have much more specific meanings than the definitions provide, and fulfill a need for those of us who have to talk about these things. Or maybe I’m just rationalizing because I’ve caught myself using some of these terms.

  However, some phrases, like “at the end of the day” just need to die. It’s so overused, and it gives the connotation that the speaker is the only one who sees the big picture or real issue and that everyone else is caught up in the muddle.

• [TombKing]

  It would be funny if I didn’t work at place that just loves all those buzzwords.

• [bkad]

  I started working at a big company only three years ago, and it is embarassing how much of this I’ve picked up. Like Eggy says, “deliverables” makes sense, but “bio break” really is kind of dorky, now that I think about it.

• [ian71]

  So this is like Urban Dictionary for people who are nowhere close to ever being ‘Urban’ while at the same time nowhere close to being able to survive out of an urban environment.

  You know… ‘cunts’.

• [killer_spam_robot]

  Clearly business jargon sucks, as Action Item Man has taught us:

  http://professionalsuperhero.com/

  In the browse section, some of this isn’t actually business jargon, like “to drink the kool-aid”.

  “Bio-break” needs to be put out of it’s misery, though.

• [Mr. Sleepy]

  More interesting comments brought to you by **BOINGBOING**