Marine accused of exposing self, waving shotgun, shouting white supremacy slogans, while wearing child's banana costume

According to this bizarre news item, one Carlton Kohnert—an enlisted Marine, shown on duty at left—dressed up in a child's yellow banana costume, exposed himself to a woman at the local Wendy's restaurant, then drove around on a ranch brandishing a shotgun and yelling about white power. A 21-year-old male friend and an 18-year-old girl were with him during the banana-clad spree:

"The banana costume has been seized and put into evidence," [Clallam County Sheriff's Sgt. Randy Pieper ] said. "[Kohnert] couldn't really tell us why he was in the costume. "All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn't really have a reason for the costume."

(...) After leaving Port Angeles, the group made a stop at Four Seasons Ranch, where Kohnert -- still dressed in the banana costume -- got out, brandished a shotgun and began yelling, Pieper said.

"We believe he was yelling something or other about white supremacy," Pieper said.

More, including details gleaned from the banana-man's Facebook, at Seattle Weekly.

[Via the BB Submitterator, David Carroll]



  1. He was singing, “this sh!t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!” OK maybe not, but that would have been funnier.

  2. If I had to explain my reasons for wearing a banana costume every time I did it, I suppose there would be occasions where I couldn’t say why. Some days you just feel like wearing a banana costume….

  3. Trying to think of a crime that wouldn’t be made worse by adding booze, and 18 year old female and a banana costume. Nope, I got nothin’ It’s the Trifecta of Stupid.

  4. After all these years of crimes being blamed on Grand Theft Auto, someone’s finally gone on a crime spree inspired by Saint’s Row 2. It’s a miracle! (Admittedly, he really should have been on fire as well, but it’s a minor oversight.)

    I expect to read that his lawyer will be suing THQ for millions.

  5. I think he could have tried harder. Banana Costume Crime Spree Marine just doesn’t have the same impact as Underwear Bomber, for instance.

  6. Warning: Do not act out the contents of your completed Mad Libs. Penguin Publishing Group is not responsible for Mad Libs that result in divorce, incarceration, bodily injury or death.

  7. Aside from exposing himself, the other activities seem legal enough to me.
    So how does what this guy did qualify as a “crime spree”?
    How many crimes does it take to make a “spree”, anyhow?

    1. This is my Banana. There are many like it but this one is mine. My Banana is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my Banana I am useless. I must fire my Banana true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my Banana and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

  8. Beyond bizarre. This guy was in my brother’s unit before he (blessedly) was done with his stint. This guy is likely to face a special kind of hell when he arrives for drill this weekend.

    *If* he shows up, right?

  9. Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. “Is Orr crazy?”

    “He sure is,” Doc Daneeka said.

    “Can you ground him?”

    “I sure can but first he has to ask me to. That’s part of the rule.”

    “Then why doesn’t he ask you to?”

    “Because he’s crazy,” Doc Daneeka said. “He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he’s had. Sure I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to.”

    “That’s all he has to do to be grounded?”

    “That’s all. Let him ask me.”

    “And then you can ground him?” Yossarian asked.

    “No, then I can’t ground him.”

    “You mean there’s a catch?”

    “Sure there is a catch,” Doc Daneeka replied. “Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn’t really crazy.”

  10. There is just an awe-inspiring level of irony involved with a flasher in a banana costume shouting about the supremacy of his race.

    1. Oh come on! The ability to wear a banana-suit and flash your willy in public is a very clear indication of superiority!

  11. This was probably nothing more than the setup for a punchline: “is that a banana costume you’re wearing or are you just happy to see me?”

  12. “All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn’t really have a reason for the costume.”

    let’s face it: do you really need a reason to wear a banana suit when you’re drunk?

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