Marine accused of exposing self, waving shotgun, shouting white supremacy slogans, while wearing child's banana costume

According to this bizarre news item, one Carlton Kohnert—an enlisted Marine, shown on duty at left—dressed up in a child's yellow banana costume, exposed himself to a woman at the local Wendy's restaurant, then drove around on a ranch brandishing a shotgun and yelling about white power. A 21-year-old male friend and an 18-year-old girl were with him during the banana-clad spree:

"The banana costume has been seized and put into evidence," [Clallam County Sheriff's Sgt. Randy Pieper ] said. "[Kohnert] couldn't really tell us why he was in the costume. "All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn't really have a reason for the costume."
(...) After leaving Port Angeles, the group made a stop at Four Seasons Ranch, where Kohnert -- still dressed in the banana costume -- got out, brandished a shotgun and began yelling, Pieper said.
"We believe he was yelling something or other about white supremacy," Pieper said.

More, including details gleaned from the banana-man's Facebook, at Seattle Weekly.

[Via the BB Submitterator, David Carroll]

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.

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paulj

This was probably nothing more than the setup for a punchline: “is that a banana costume you’re wearing or are you just happy to see me?”
Anonymous

Did he forget he wasn’t on the internet?
voracious32

Did he forget that he wasn’t on the internet?
grimc

In his defense, it was peanut butter jelly time.
mst3kmoxie

Well, there’s always money in the banana stand.
- Brainspore
  
  “It’s the cops! Time to split!”
jpfitz

Afghanistan Bannastand
Teller

Chewbacca on a Mutant Squirrel Fighting Nazis.
Noodlehead

Perhaps it was peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time!
foxtails

Banana-man rolls off the tongue nicely. Sounds like a superhero’s name.
Anonymous

Is it just me or – “Sgt. Randy Pieper”?!
Lord Xenu

In fairness, he was probably just quitting his job.
Halloween Jack

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT
Anonymous

My PEN IS very large!
Anonymous

“All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn’t really have a reason for the costume.”

let’s face it: do you really need a reason to wear a banana suit when you’re drunk?
Ugly Canuck

Aside from exposing himself, the other activities seem legal enough to me.
So how does what this guy did qualify as a “crime spree”?
How many crimes does it take to make a “spree”, anyhow?
- MrHarley
  
  This is my Banana. There are many like it but this one is mine. My Banana is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my Banana I am useless. I must fire my Banana true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my Banana and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.
chgoliz

He was just “spreading the word” that bananas are meant to be held by humans:

Behold: The Atheists’ Nightmare
- jimh
  
  LOLz!
  (Just look at what God made for us. Just look at it.)
ROSSINDETROIT

Trying to think of a crime that wouldn’t be made worse by adding booze, and 18 year old female and a banana costume. Nope, I got nothin’ It’s the Trifecta of Stupid.
- Brainspore
  
  And yet any party is made better by adding those things.
Anonymous

Support the troops.
Anonymous

Look at THIS banana! Just look at it!
IronEdithKidd

What, is this *facepalm* day?
Tensegrity

This just reminds me that I haven’t been to a really great party in way too long.
jimh

Hope he holds on to the animation rights for the “Mr. Banana Shotgun-Brandisher” character.
legionabstract

Just look at it.
- mdh
  
  seconded.
DixieFlatline

After all these years of crimes being blamed on Grand Theft Auto, someone’s finally gone on a crime spree inspired by Saint’s Row 2. It’s a miracle! (Admittedly, he really should have been on fire as well, but it’s a minor oversight.)

I expect to read that his lawyer will be suing THQ for millions.
ROSSINDETROIT

I think he could have tried harder. Banana Costume Crime Spree Marine just doesn’t have the same impact as Underwear Bomber, for instance.
SpaceGhost

Why the costume? Cause he’s coo-coo bananas.
ROSSINDETROIT

Banana costumes & guns:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0c/Guess_who's_back%3F.jpg
saehn

He was singing, “this sh!t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!” OK maybe not, but that would have been funnier.
Unmutual

Warning: Do not act out the contents of your completed Mad Libs. Penguin Publishing Group is not responsible for Mad Libs that result in divorce, incarceration, bodily injury or death.
Anonymous

Christ what an asshole.
zikzak

but he didn’t really have a reason for the costume.
love it.
Anonymous

Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. “Is Orr crazy?”

“He sure is,” Doc Daneeka said.

“Can you ground him?”

“I sure can but first he has to ask me to. That’s part of the rule.”

“Then why doesn’t he ask you to?”

“Because he’s crazy,” Doc Daneeka said. “He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he’s had. Sure I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to.”

“That’s all he has to do to be grounded?”

“That’s all. Let him ask me.”

“And then you can ground him?” Yossarian asked.

“No, then I can’t ground him.”

“You mean there’s a catch?”

“Sure there is a catch,” Doc Daneeka replied. “Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn’t really crazy.”
DocBadwrench

Beyond bizarre. This guy was in my brother’s unit before he (blessedly) was done with his stint. This guy is likely to face a special kind of hell when he arrives for drill this weekend.

*If* he shows up, right?
Ratdog

This really deserves the wide-eyed/open-mouthed kitty.
sonipitts

There is just an awe-inspiring level of irony involved with a flasher in a banana costume shouting about the supremacy of his race.
- professor
  
  Oh come on! The ability to wear a banana-suit and flash your willy in public is a very clear indication of superiority!
Nores

Yeesh, and I thought I was a bad drunk. I just get all morose and bring down the mood.
Ignore Amos

All the good Arrested Development references have been taken already.
OldRipbeak

If I had to explain my reasons for wearing a banana costume every time I did it, I suppose there would be occasions where I couldn’t say why. Some days you just feel like wearing a banana costume….