Tactical pens

Missionoppen Swwwpen
I spotted the Embassy Pen (top image) over at Uncrate and really dig the minimalist Maglite-esque look of it. It's $38.50 from County Comm. I showed it to Rob and he hipped me to the bad-assness of the Smith & Wesson Military and Police Tactical Pen that's just $26 from Amazon. Now if only I could manage to hang on to a pen for more than two days.

Smith & Wesson Military and Police Tactical Pen (Amazon)

Embassy Pen (County Comm)


  1. If you can’t kill a man using a Bic stick pen, you ain’t got no business killin’ nobody with a pen.

    1. Well said.

      I’d actually have a girly looking pink bic pen or somesuch in the stabbing hand, and in the punching hand a roll of quarters from the money I saved in not buying this pen.

  2. Kind of ridiculous. What makes it tactical, it being black and having a diamond cut grip? This looks like something some dork gun nut would carry around in his pocket. The real question is, how does it write? What a gratuitous piece of adolescent power fantasy trash.

    1. I’m a dork gun nut, and I carry around a Retro 51 Manhattan. I like my pens to look like pens. If I want something that looks like I gun… I’ll just grab one of my guns.

    2. ‘Kind of ridiculous’ is exactly why I want one! It’s unique and interesting. I’d use a Smith and Wesson pen to write a very stern letter to my attackers.

  3. Things written with that pen on the bottom will bear the notice:

    This Work Protected by Smith & Wesson. :-)

  4. They’re “tactical” because they’re made to be used in a defensive situation, either for blunt strikes or stabbing.

    Surefire (of flashlight fame) offers some pricier tactical pens. Expensive man-jewelry for the mall ninja crowd.


      1. Not really. I said they’re MADE to be used that way, not that they CAN be used that way. There is a difference. If I really had to defend myself with a pen, I’d rather have one of these than a Papermate Comfortmate. It’s like a metal Kubotan with one end pointed, plus it actually writes. I wasn’t endorsing them – notice I even put the word tactical in quotes, because it’s a ridiculous marketing buzzword – just explaining the intended purpose and target audience. I still think they’re largely man-jewelry.

    1. Being overpriced is also very helpful.

      1. Looks like you could kill somebody with it. In the dark, while hanging upside down from a helicopter.

      2. Black. Made of some overengineered grade of aluminum or “polymer composite”(not “plastic”, you hippie)

      3. Priced like you have a big black budget and a cocaine business on the side.

      1. If I had a large budget and dabbled in importing the white snow, I’d probably have something a bit nicer than a $26 pen to entrust my safety.

        The real me will stick to his crappy gel pens, and an ASP baton for protection

  5. I like the design–I’m a sucker for things with knurled grips–but if you’re really going to defend yourself with something like this, I’d think you’d want it to be disposable and nothing that you’d get attached to.

    1. Right, I’d hate to have to retrieve this from the braincase of my victim. The knurling would help, I guess.

  6. I’d rather use a fountain pen (for writing and for self-defense, which are sometimes the same thing).

    “Now if only I could manage to hang on to a pen for more than two days”: David, if you buy a good pen, you’ll almost certainly find that it’s easy to hold on to. In my experience, good pens tend not to get misplaced.

    1. I’d expect that to be the case, Michael. But after having purchased (and lost) three Space Pens in my life, I can’t trust myself anymore.

  7. These things are definitely for the mall ninja/gun nut crowd. I like nice pens and even cheap pens that write well. I don’t need a pen that is purported to be tactical. A rolled up magazine or a bic can be tactical if I need them to be and I won’t feel bad at having to throw them away when they have served their ‘tactical’ purpose.

  8. I’d rather have a strategic pen, thank you very much. The sort of thing that is used to draft documents that rescind human rights, start wars or sign offshore drill rig leases — the kind of pen that can affect or kill hundreds or thousands with a single stroke.

  9. I frequently lose pens (up to 1 a week). Except for one.

    Years ago, I built my own at work from components from one of our products. Even with 2000 employees on site, people would drop by to bring it back with the comment “This must be yours.” For years (at least 5).

    Note: the pen looked normal from more than 2 feet away and wasn’t labeled. Yet people somehow associated the pen with me.

  10. what this needs is a tether, like Daredevil’s billy club, only made out of a wire saw. Keep your pen, saw stuff, or hide in a wall of mud and hop out to garotte and/or write on unsuspecting prey!

    these ideas are free, people. i just want to make better world.

  11. I carry an all metal Cross pen at the moment. I really like it but it has a smooth finish. Which I don’t like. This pen is sturdy and has a textured grip. For a tactical pen it is a great price. I want one.

  12. Reminds me of Fallout 2 rock: “It’s a rock. The Granite-Inc. model is an upgraded version.”

    Maybe it was a tactical rock. If I ever need to defend myself with a rock, then tactical rock is my weapon of choice.

  13. I’d love to see the same crafty people who “steampunkerize” everything in leather and brass pick up this meme. “Tacticalize” ordinary objects with black anodized aluminum, superfluous knurled grips, and Cordura nylon.

  14. Great. It’s only a matter of time before pens like these get my Bic confiscated at the airport.

  15. Um, a ball point pen with hex bolts holding the clippy thing on is not minimalist. A disposable give-away is minimalist.

  16. Regrettably, the Embassy pen uses a Fischer Space Pen cartridge. And the Fischer Space Pen cartridge is crap. After a few weeks of use, it starts smearing and streaking and straight-up leaking. Hugely disappointing. [Although, I guess if the “Space Pen” was designed for the short-duration Mercury/Gemini missions, the terrible long-term performance would be irrelevant]

  17. Amateurs write with tactical pens. Dilettantes write with strategic pens. But professionals? We write with logistic pens.

    1. Or stuck through the ear lobe. I have actually seen people carry around lighters and pens that way. Ugh…

  18. @34 and @36: I think I have a new DIY project.. I’ll need a chisel, black matte paint, and a rock.

    Also, all this talk of chunky aluminum pens is making me extremely sad that Rotring no longer makes its gorgeous 600 series of pens/pencils:


    And finally, I’ve had a Fisher space pen clipped into my wallet for years. It writes ok, hasn’t gotten too blobby on me–but then, I’m usually using it to jot a quick note, not write extensive messages.

  19. In the words of the immortal Mitch Hedberg:

    “I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.”

  20. After having my penknife with a 1 3/8″ blade confiscated by TSA while being herded thru the cattle pens of DIA, I don’t think this pen will stand a chance of clearing security.

    Now, don’t we all feel safer knowing our shoes have been x-rayed to save the world from evildoers?

  21. Random trivia: the document that the Embassy Pen is resting on in the top image is the crew activity plan for STS-61A, Challenger’s last successful mission.

  22. I am seriously considering getting one of these type of pens. I was in 2 State Office buildings today and there were signs on the doors about weapons prohibited. Okay, fine, if I have to turn in my key ring with kubotan at the door. I will, however, keep the “pen” in my purse or pocket. That’s why, as a woman, I would carry a tactical pen. Not to look tough, but for my own safety and peace of mind.


Comments are closed.