Female tennis players hitting the ball in slow-motion

After sitting through this New York Times gallery with ultra-slow-mo video of female tennis stars doing their thing at Sigur Rós speed, the thought occurs that Serena Williams should star in the next Kill Bill sequel, should there ever be one. Then, my next thought is, like, since when is the Times in the business of publishing internet jerkoff videos? Rule 36, people, you know I'm right!

• [thebelgianpanda]

  am i completely weird that i appreciated that like i did the BBC series ‘The World’? i know a lot of the shots in this were cheesy, and i also enjoy porn, but *damn* the muscles on some of those women were amazing. does that make me weird? :D

  • [Nadreck]

    Nah, it just means you have good taste.

• [Anonymous]

  My thought process during the Serena Williams one:
  “God, she’s so pretty. And I love all that glitter every-DAYUM LOOK AT THEM ARMS.”

• [Nadreck]

  Hey, Serena Williams is all sparkly: does that mean she’s a vampire or just a vamp?

• [Tim]

  Rule 36?

  I usually only hear Rule 34 referenced.

• [W. James Au]

  That Serena video reminds me of this one awesomesauce fight scene from Kathryn Bigelow’s *Strange Days* where Angela Bassett kicks the crap outta some punks. She backhands one dude in super slo-mo with pretty much that expression while her dreds fly every which way.

  FUCK, can’t find that clip on YouTube.

• [dwdyer]

  Ooooh, glitter!!!

• [Anonymous]

  Not that I mind, but aren’t there any ugly top women’s tennis players?

• [KurtMac]

  How long before the glitter-ball makes it into regulation play?

  “Ahh! My eyes! All I see is a horrible rainbow!”

• [mistersite]

  In other news, “Sigur Rós speed” is now a thing.

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  I watched the first one and thought, “Oh, that’s why my tennis-playing students can no longer bend their knees more than five degrees.”

  • [Xeni Jardin]

    Indeed!

• [Anonymous]

  I think I just found a replacement for YouPorn. Thanks, Xeni!

• [sloverlord]

  Gaaaaah that made me wince. Is that really what happens to your knee when you play tennis?

• [Stuart Ellis]

  I thought I read somewhere that Tarantino is actually working on a Kill Bill 3…

  • [David Carroll]

    From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_Bill :

    Tarantino :
    I’ve already got the whole mythology: Sofie Fatale will get all of Bill’s money. She’ll raise Nikki, who’ll take on The Bride. Nikki deserves her revenge every bit as much as The Bride deserved hers. I might even shoot a couple of scenes for it now so I can get the actresses while they’re this age.

    Serena Williams could play Nikki’s mom. But I expect Vivica Fox is a lock.

  • [hassenpfeffer]

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1521225/

• [max]

  too bad david foster wallace isn’t around to lend us his thoughts on this

• [mellowknees]

  Amazing! What a cool idea. I wish my muscles worked this well.

• [narrowstreetsLA]

  Thanks Xeni. These are fapulous.

• [mellon]

  Woah. I need a cigarette now.

• [Anonymous]

  I hope I’m reborn as a sports bra.

• [Webbie]

  Did I just sit through an extended American Apparel commercial…?

• [Anonymous]

  Seems kinda dopey to me. I’m sure there is a point, but is wankery it?

• [Anonymous]

  Tennis or GTFO

• [Glenn Fleishman]

  I dunno. Watching women beat the hell out of a tennis ball doesn’t arouse me; I’m currently in a fetal position, typing with one toe.

• [adamnvillani]

  Serena Williams somehow manages to be both incredibly muscular and incredibly babelicious at the same time. This combination may be unique; the others are various combinations of less muscular and less babelicious, although aesthetically these movies are incredible no matter how you slice it.

• [Noodlehead]

  Most of the women look as though they just want to hit the ball. Then, there’s Serena Williams. She looks like she’s trying to knock the cover off the damn thing.

• [mellon]

  I didn’t think it was particularly hot, Glenn, but damn, it was beautiful! :’)

  • [ibbers]

    wasn’t it ever? pretty amazing.

    serena williams was by far the most wow…

    thanks xeni – sport isn’t my thing, especially tennis, but a nice little bit on how amazing humans can be (in this case, human strength, agility and skill).

• [wargonzola]

  I had no idea there even *was* a rule 36. Turns out there’re 47 in total, and only five (directly) address porn. I’m oddly disappointed in anonymous right now.

• [Itsumishi]

  Is it just me or do half of these videos seem very poorly filmed?