Now you, too, can quit like JetBlue guy: The SlipQuit™

Includes two cans of beer and one self-inflating slide. The SlipQuit™, by dialhouse.org, as featured on SF Weekly. The price? $51.50.

(thanks, Andy Wright)

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  1. What took them so long to make this? What, it’s already been like a few weeks and shit.

    Damn, this would have made a good April Fool’s ad, but I guess it doesn’t matter, since The Onion is pretty much real news nowadays.

  2. I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence that the price tag is the same as the police radio code for “Crazy person”

  3. Pthhhhpt. The two birds I can flip with my hands are cheaper and work better than a gadget strapped to my chest.

  4. I would buy this in a hearbeat. I can think of so many common situations where I would be glad to have it!

    No, no more hastily jumping out windows for me – now I can jump out windows IN STYLE!

    Someone must make this become reality.

  5. Minor technical thing: please don’t scale images in HTML. Currently this post, as seen from the front page, uses the same image, but scaled down using HTML. Every browser I know of will use a fast, ugly scaling algorithm, and people reading the front page will have to download the entire image, even though they won’t see all of it unless they click through.

    1. Really? Opera and Chrome uses more advanced smoothing rescale algorithms. Just tried it with FF3.6, same deal. One thing I know is Opera has been doing it for a long time, which is good too since there are so many spare CPU cycles available on today’s average web-browsing device.

  6. I think my favorite part is that they used the same image of the man twice and just photoshopped in the slide coming out of the shadowy backpack and pasted on his left arm. I’ll bet it’s a stock photo and the man isn’t wearing the backpack at all.

  7. where can I buy this? This would make a bitch’n yet completely impractical Halloween costume.

  8. Q: How do you know you’re living in a decadent time?

    A: When people are willing to generate an entire backpack’s worth of plastic for a single, not-very-funny joke.

    Come on people. This is out of hand. Do you really need an entire single-use inflatable slide to tell a few lame jokes?

  9. I think what has always impressed me about this flight attendant’s story is that, despite clearly losing his shit completely, he still had the presence of mind to grab two beers before pulling the chute. A point not lost on this parody – it’s the most important part of the device!

  10. I think a better name might have been the “Quit ‘n’ Slide”.
    @imag: Do you really think this is more than just a ‘shop quickie? I don’t think anyone has actually made a physical version of this.

    1. You’re probably right. I can’t find anything about Dial House actually making products. I’m knee-jerking.

      I genuinely wasn’t trying to troll though. Maybe it comes from my frustration when I go to a place like Walgreens, where we really are willing to generate a large hunk of plastic and electronics for a single funny joke or gift. I think it’s buying behavior that should look as antisocial as throwing trash out your car window. It’s wanton generation of permanent waste. It’s based on conditioning that the price tag is the only meaningful data point when making a buying decision.

      So yes, I’m siding with the zombies. Definitely ;)

      1. Maybe it comes from my frustration when I go to a place like Walgreens, where we really are willing to generate a large hunk of plastic and electronics for a single funny joke or gift.

        Oh, I agree. The world already has too much fake plastic dog shit (and I mean that both literally and figuratively).

  11. This looks more like an escape slide for other people. You can’t really slide down a slide that’s attached to your chest…I’d have to stand there and act as an anchor for the slide and drink my beer while they got away. The best I could manage after that was a sort of forward somersault, which would roll me up into the slide like a Ho-Ho, immobilizing me. Then I’d get arrested and beaten.

    If that isn’t worth $51.50, I don’t know what is.

  12. This looks more like an escape slide for other people.

    I was thinking it could work well as a way for discontented babies to escape their carrying harnesses. Grab a bottle, pull the cord and hit the road!

  13. This made my day. So happy to have cats off my mind.

    My favorite part is the high-end shooping of the left arm, with its Thalidomide scaling, unnaturally precise 90-degree angle, and Flat Stanley beer paperclipped under the thumb.

  14. I can’t believe only 1 comment exposed the giant FAIL factor of this joke. It’s not useable without securing some dope to wear it for you while you slide away… i get jokes, and this sir, is a bad joke. hehe.. jokes…

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