Bombing Guam with dead mice


27 Responses to “Bombing Guam with dead mice”

  1. lilomar says:

    The most awesome plan for getting rid of snakes ever.

  2. Tofagerl says:

    Oh come one, this is WAY to simplistic! Those snakes will just find a way to neutralize the tylenol with an antidote!

    THINK, people!

  3. l0g1c says:

    Do headaches sustain snakes? No wonder they’re always in a bad mood.

  4. Anonymous says:


    “Snakes are very selective about what they eat. They will often refuse to eat real bird eggs if they have been refrigerated, have been washed, or are below a typical body temperature of a bird. All of this suggests that the snakes use more than the appearance of potential prey when considering their next meal… snakes are extremely alert to the temperature, odor, and other chemical cues that help them discern real eggs from other objects that may be egg-shaped…”

    The traps they’re currently using have to be baited with live mice. What on earth makes the DoA think these snakes are going to eat cold dead mice? After they’ve been stuffed with Tylenol and tracking bugs, they won’t even smell like food. Might as well airdrop plushie toys. Or skip the mice and just write “Dear snakes, we wish you would all please die now, KTHX” on the paper streamers.

  5. sparklemotion says:

    I hate to say this David, but Xeni wins this headline battle.

  6. Nom_de_Guerre says:

    “I’m getting tired of these mutha fuckin snakes on the mutha fuckin trees!”

  7. Anonymous says:

    I love the smell of acetaminophen in the morning.

  8. hassenpfeffer says:

    Some snake-lover (I’m looking at you, Barry White in “The Simpsons”) is going to flood the island with N-acetylcysteine (

  9. Antinous / Moderator says:

    My new expression of astonishment is Well stuff me with Tylenol and drop me on a tree snake.

  10. hadlock says:

    I for one welcome our tylenol-resistant snake overlords.

  11. retrojoe says:

    This will only result in some sort of Tylenol-immune super snake. It’s like something from our nightmares.

  12. CastanhasDoPara says:

    Ah military naivete. Snakes want to hunt not eat dead mice stuffed like thanksgiving turkeys with tylenol and flung out of a plane attached to cardboard and streamers.

    I can almost guarantee you that this will back fire in some odd way(like reviving cargo-cults which may just prove to be somewhat hilarious but problematic) or just not work or work too well. Guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens.

    I am sort of pulling for cargo-cult though, millions of snakes dressed in traditional garb building fake aircraft in the trees in hopes that the gods will deliver more deliciously analgesic sky-mice meals.

  13. Brainspore says:

    Snakes want to hunt not eat dead mice stuffed like thanksgiving turkeys…

    I thought that was Tyrannosauruses.

  14. Anonymous says:

    New job title – Mouse Stuffer…

  15. Anonymous says:

    No precedentii

    (indulging in internet hypercorrection)

  16. Anonymous says:

    but this will just cause a terrifying explosion in the population of whatever horrible creature feasts exclusively on dead brown tree snakes!

  17. bellhalla says:

    So if this doesn’t work, Guam will be littered with festive, streamer-adorned dead-rat piñatas? Sounds like a win either way.

  18. Anonymous says:

    They need to have an old-fashioned Whacking Day.

  19. Anonymous says:

    *singsong* Everytime it rains, it rains… Dead mice from heaavveenn…

  20. Anonymous says:

    are there any experiments with pheromones. sexy smelling laced rats would help get those bastards.

  21. MadMolecule says:

    I’ve said it before: Man, my job sucks.

  22. Philipshade says:

    Between this and the land mine sniffing rats, its a bad day to be a rodent

  23. Marcel says:

    Let’s ‘Tylenol-loaded mice attached to two pieces of cardboard joined by paper streamers’-bomb them from orbit.

    It’s the only way to be sure.

Leave a Reply