Masturbation jokes as ad copy for Minneapolis real estate agent


Minneapolis real estate agent Rich Will Wanket has a sense of humor about his name, but I'm not sure I'd hire him to sell my house. I'm surprised the newspaper let him pull this off.

Beat it Flick it Choke it Rub it Real Estate Masturbation (Via Blame it on the Voices)



  1. Just curious. Was this in the Star Tribune or the Pioneer Press? I can’t believe this was printed! Awesome sense of humor.

  2. I’m sure he knows the ins and outs of making sure my hard money loan isn’t in arrears and sneaking things to market with a pocket listing.

    1. I’ll bet they don’t. States license real estate agents – NAR (an industry group) does not. The worst NAR could do is bounce him from their membership, which so long as he pays his dues is highly unlikely. I suppose the state could sanction him, though, depending on what MN license law is like.

  3. “Birth Certificate upon request.” Birthers. The right hand still looking for what the left hands doin’.

  4. Back in the 90’s I was traveling in Cedar Rapids Iowa and heard this car dealer advertising on the radio named ‘Dick Witham’. The ad kept repeating this name over and over – ‘Dick Witham’. My colleagues and I were laughing about who could trust a car dealer named ‘Dick Witham’. We thought it must have been a joke, but it was real. For some reason the Cedar Rapids folks we were with didn’t see what was funny about it….

  5. Growing up in Austin there was a Jose Cuervo in real estate. His for sale signs were always getting stolen.

  6. I definitely saw this in the Minnesota Daily (University of Minnesota student newspaper) yesterday! It’s funny, but I don’t think I’d want him as a real estate agent.

  7. His logic doesn’t make any sense! He sets up the problem as real estate agents “aren’t doing the work necessary to sell your home”. He compares this failure to masturbation. Then he says “So…”, and offers his own masturbation as a substitute for their masturbation. He’s essentially saying “those agents aren’t doing the work necessary to sell your home, and neither will I”.

    Now if his name was a euphemism for intercourse or a sexual position, it might suggest the upgrade that he intended to convey. Like if he was named Rich Piledriver or something.

  8. Actually, if you ignore the shock value and read what the ad is saying, he’s suggesting that he’s ineffective as a real estate agent.

    If it’s all “Real Estate Masturbation if your agent isn’t doing all that is necessary to help buy or sell your home”, then why hire a guy named “Wanket?”

    You’d be much better off with a guy who can close with another person, and not someone who’s going to stay at home and, *ahem* play around.

  9. Taking a second look, I wish I hadn’t even taken this seriously.

    “Rich Will Wanket” — An obvious fake name, or a very improbable real one. Think about it.

    1. Sadly, it is not fake. Also, he was let go today according to one of his (former) coworkers whith whom I am friends.

  10. I gotta give the guy credit for sticking it out there. Hehe.

    As a RE agent or any marketer, you gotta make waves to stand out, besides just being a stellar person and great at your job.

    Kudos for the effort. Wish I had thought of it. And I agree with 80% of the posts above.

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