Masturbation jokes as ad copy for Minneapolis real estate agent

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47 Responses to “Masturbation jokes as ad copy for Minneapolis real estate agent”

  1. Gutierrez says:

    Great, now I have a pornographic version of Technologic stuck in my head.

  2. WaylonWillie says:

    flick it?

  3. Rob Cruickshank says:

    I’ll bet the first thing he’ll tell you to do is hire a fluffer.

  4. SpacelordMother says:

    Just curious. Was this in the Star Tribune or the Pioneer Press? I can’t believe this was printed! Awesome sense of humor.

  5. phcordner says:

    I’m sure he knows the ins and outs of making sure my hard money loan isn’t in arrears and sneaking things to market with a pocket listing.

  6. bassplayinben says:

    newspapers are hard up for ad revenue.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Come on you guys…

  8. Antinous / Moderator says:

    I bet NAR suspends his license. They don’t have a sense of humor.

    • jasonq says:

      I’ll bet they don’t. States license real estate agents – NAR (an industry group) does not. The worst NAR could do is bounce him from their membership, which so long as he pays his dues is highly unlikely. I suppose the state could sanction him, though, depending on what MN license law is like.

    • Anonymous says:

      This guy is not a Realtor. He would have to display the trademark R if he were.

  9. Quiche de Resistance says:

    Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, oh no!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Pull the other one.

  11. Anonymous says:

    This image (which I scanned) came off my blog..Stuff about Minneapolis.

  12. Anonymous says:

    He’s fnarkin’ brilliant. Ought to ditch real estate and go into advertising.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I definitely saw this in the Minnesota Daily (University of Minnesota student newspaper) yesterday! It’s funny, but I don’t think I’d want him as a real estate agent.

  14. deckard68 says:

    His logic doesn’t make any sense! He sets up the problem as real estate agents “aren’t doing the work necessary to sell your home”. He compares this failure to masturbation. Then he says “So…”, and offers his own masturbation as a substitute for their masturbation. He’s essentially saying “those agents aren’t doing the work necessary to sell your home, and neither will I”.

    Now if his name was a euphemism for intercourse or a sexual position, it might suggest the upgrade that he intended to convey. Like if he was named Rich Piledriver or something.

  15. RHK says:

    Does this story have a happy ending?

  16. Teller says:

    He looks kinda squirrely to me.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Can’t see his hands…

  18. voiceinthedistance says:

    List it more than three times and you’re playing with it.

  19. agnot says:

    I wouldn’t give him money but I expect the add will generate clients. Just not sure I’d want their money.

  20. the name says:

    Christine O’Donnell does not approve of this message.

  21. dross1260 says:

    “Birth Certificate upon request.” Birthers. The right hand still looking for what the left hands doin’.

  22. ZippySpincycle says:

    I’m not sure I trust his mortgage broker, Harry Palm…

  23. theawesomerobot says:

    Well, you know what they say – when life hands you lemons, masturbate.

  24. Anonymous says:

    Hmmmm… a quick search of Edina Realty’s website comes up with zero Wankets.

  25. Gawain Lavers says:

    He’s a little behind, so to speak, the legendary “Dick Longing” of Conway Arkansas:
    http://www.sos.arkansas.gov/corps/search_corps.php?DETAIL=97073&corp_type_id=2&corp_name=&agent_search=&agent_city=&agent_state=AR&filing_number=&cmd=

    Bonus points to anyone who can find a picture of one of his billboards.

  26. seanjjordan says:

    Actually, if you ignore the shock value and read what the ad is saying, he’s suggesting that he’s ineffective as a real estate agent.

    If it’s all “Real Estate Masturbation if your agent isn’t doing all that is necessary to help buy or sell your home”, then why hire a guy named “Wanket?”

    You’d be much better off with a guy who can close with another person, and not someone who’s going to stay at home and, *ahem* play around.

  27. isaacb2 says:

    Thank you, theawesomerobot.

  28. seanjjordan says:

    Taking a second look, I wish I hadn’t even taken this seriously.

    “Rich Will Wanket” — An obvious fake name, or a very improbable real one. Think about it.

  29. Anonymous says:

    Back in the 90′s I was traveling in Cedar Rapids Iowa and heard this car dealer advertising on the radio named ‘Dick Witham’. The ad kept repeating this name over and over – ‘Dick Witham’. My colleagues and I were laughing about who could trust a car dealer named ‘Dick Witham’. We thought it must have been a joke, but it was real. For some reason the Cedar Rapids folks we were with didn’t see what was funny about it….

  30. cjp says:

    I can’t pass a billboard ad for this real estate guy without snickering: Meet Randy Dyck…

    http://www.eximus.com/view/meet-randy.aspx

  31. ChesterKatz says:

    I know an attorney named “Richard Wacker”. For some reason he goes by his middle name …

  32. Deidzoeb says:

    Stay classy, MPLS.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Growing up in Austin there was a Jose Cuervo in real estate. His for sale signs were always getting stolen.

  34. seancinneide says:

    I see what you did there.

  35. Narmitaj says:

    Surprised he doesn’t call himself Dick Willy Wanket.

  36. Lobster says:

    Heh heh. “Pull this off.”

  37. Anonymous says:

    If I worked at the paper, I would tell him to beat it.

  38. westsidedb says:

    I gotta give the guy credit for sticking it out there. Hehe.

    As a RE agent or any marketer, you gotta make waves to stand out, besides just being a stellar person and great at your job.

    Kudos for the effort. Wish I had thought of it. And I agree with 80% of the posts above.

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