Masturbation jokes as ad copy for Minneapolis real estate agent

Minneapolis real estate agent Rich Will Wanket has a sense of humor about his name, but I'm not sure I'd hire him to sell my house. I'm surprised the newspaper let him pull this off.

Beat it Flick it Choke it Rub it Real Estate Masturbation (Via Blame it on the Voices)

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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Gutierrez

Great, now I have a pornographic version of Technologic stuck in my head.
- beemoh
  
  Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger works so much better, surely? :D
WaylonWillie

flick it?
Rob Cruickshank

I’ll bet the first thing he’ll tell you to do is hire a fluffer.
SpacelordMother

Just curious. Was this in the Star Tribune or the Pioneer Press? I can’t believe this was printed! Awesome sense of humor.
phcordner

I’m sure he knows the ins and outs of making sure my hard money loan isn’t in arrears and sneaking things to market with a pocket listing.
bassplayinben

newspapers are hard up for ad revenue.
Anonymous

Come on you guys…
- agnot
  
  Is that the correct spelling of *Come*?
Antinous / Moderator

I bet NAR suspends his license. They don’t have a sense of humor.
- jasonq
  
  I’ll bet they don’t. States license real estate agents – NAR (an industry group) does not. The worst NAR could do is bounce him from their membership, which so long as he pays his dues is highly unlikely. I suppose the state could sanction him, though, depending on what MN license law is like.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    Yeah, it would be MAR that does it. CAR in California suspends members pretty regularly.
    - social_maladroit
      
      You think he’d Wanket while suspended? That could be dangerous.
- Anonymous
  
  This guy is not a Realtor. He would have to display the trademark R if he were.
Quiche de Resistance

Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, oh no!
- Anonymous
  
  win! :)
Anonymous

Pull the other one.
Anonymous

This image (which I scanned) came off my blog..Stuff about Minneapolis.
Anonymous

He’s fnarkin’ brilliant. Ought to ditch real estate and go into advertising.
Anonymous

I definitely saw this in the Minnesota Daily (University of Minnesota student newspaper) yesterday! It’s funny, but I don’t think I’d want him as a real estate agent.
deckard68

His logic doesn’t make any sense! He sets up the problem as real estate agents “aren’t doing the work necessary to sell your home”. He compares this failure to masturbation. Then he says “So…”, and offers his own masturbation as a substitute for their masturbation. He’s essentially saying “those agents aren’t doing the work necessary to sell your home, and neither will I”.

Now if his name was a euphemism for intercourse or a sexual position, it might suggest the upgrade that he intended to convey. Like if he was named Rich Piledriver or something.
RHK

Does this story have a happy ending?
Teller

He looks kinda squirrely to me.
Anonymous

Can’t see his hands…
voiceinthedistance

List it more than three times and you’re playing with it.
agnot

I wouldn’t give him money but I expect the add will generate clients. Just not sure I’d want their money.
the name

Christine O’Donnell does not approve of this message.
dross1260

“Birth Certificate upon request.” Birthers. The right hand still looking for what the left hands doin’.
ZippySpincycle

I’m not sure I trust his mortgage broker, Harry Palm…
theawesomerobot

Well, you know what they say – when life hands you lemons, masturbate.
- hungryjoe
  
  Thanks for that.
Anonymous

Hmmmm… a quick search of Edina Realty’s website comes up with zero Wankets.
Gawain Lavers

He’s a little behind, so to speak, the legendary “Dick Longing” of Conway Arkansas:
http://www.sos.arkansas.gov/corps/search_corps.php?DETAIL=97073&corp_type_id=2&corp_name=&agent_search=&agent_city=&agent_state=AR&filing_number=&cmd=

Bonus points to anyone who can find a picture of one of his billboards.
seanjjordan

Actually, if you ignore the shock value and read what the ad is saying, he’s suggesting that he’s ineffective as a real estate agent.

If it’s all “Real Estate Masturbation if your agent isn’t doing all that is necessary to help buy or sell your home”, then why hire a guy named “Wanket?”

You’d be much better off with a guy who can close with another person, and not someone who’s going to stay at home and, *ahem* play around.
isaacb2

Thank you, theawesomerobot.
seanjjordan

Taking a second look, I wish I hadn’t even taken this seriously.

“Rich Will Wanket” — An obvious fake name, or a very improbable real one. Think about it.
- Anonymous
  
  Sadly, it is not fake. Also, he was let go today according to one of his (former) coworkers whith whom I am friends.
Anonymous

Back in the 90′s I was traveling in Cedar Rapids Iowa and heard this car dealer advertising on the radio named ‘Dick Witham’. The ad kept repeating this name over and over – ‘Dick Witham’. My colleagues and I were laughing about who could trust a car dealer named ‘Dick Witham’. We thought it must have been a joke, but it was real. For some reason the Cedar Rapids folks we were with didn’t see what was funny about it….
cjp

I can’t pass a billboard ad for this real estate guy without snickering: Meet Randy Dyck…

http://www.eximus.com/view/meet-randy.aspx
ChesterKatz

I know an attorney named “Richard Wacker”. For some reason he goes by his middle name …
Deidzoeb

Stay classy, MPLS.
Anonymous

Growing up in Austin there was a Jose Cuervo in real estate. His for sale signs were always getting stolen.
seancinneide

I see what you did there.
Narmitaj

Surprised he doesn’t call himself Dick Willy Wanket.
Lobster

Heh heh. “Pull this off.”
Anonymous

If I worked at the paper, I would tell him to beat it.
westsidedb

I gotta give the guy credit for sticking it out there. Hehe.

As a RE agent or any marketer, you gotta make waves to stand out, besides just being a stellar person and great at your job.

Kudos for the effort. Wish I had thought of it. And I agree with 80% of the posts above.