I suffered non-stop harassment and bullying throughout grade, middle and high school with the worst being in high school. It was so bad that in my freshman year I was sent to an adolescent psych hospital for a long stay due to deep, deep depression and being on the verge of taking my own life. When I returned to high school ( a different one) at the mid-point of sophomore year it was just as bad. I made it through to summer and refused to ever, ever go back no matter what.

The summer before what would have been my senior year of high school I got my GED and started at the local community college. It was like a different world. No one bullied me. No one harassed me for who I am. I found some wonderful people. It even got better when I went to a university two years later.

So, in my experience it does get better post-high school. However, of course, that is only my personal experience and I can’t claim that it is universal.

It seems like the hard part is getting this delivered to the people who need it, and making them understand that things will get better for them, too.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great movement, and many of the videos are amazing and make me tear up… but maybe the whole “high school is where it ends” message isn’t the best one to send.

This reminds me — having recently gotten wheels again, I should start tracking down appropriate bumper stickers.

There are so many kids that don’t fit into the communities that they were born into and feel like their lives aren’t worthwhile because of the narrow-mindedness of the people they grew up with. Luckily, many of us aren’t limited by geography anymore. GBLTG or not, finding people who love and accept you, really does make everything better.

High school is the only time in life where you are legally obliged to put your self in harms way.

This goes doubly for Gay folks, and goes off the chart for gay folks in rural supposedly Christian areas.

If you go to college it is elective. You don’t need to be afraid any more.

And yes SF is no doubt a gay Emerald City, if that isn’t a total tautology, but there are lots of Emerald Cities,Sydney is a very gay town due to Pink Flight.

As soon as any one can they get the hell out of Woop Woop and off to the city. It’s no guarantee but man it is a lot better.

Anyhow, it didn’t make me tear up, I had something in my eye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBXyB7niEc0

What the internet and such positive messages as this deliver is too often a depressing confirmation of failure or exclusion or outsiderness. The internet is a rich source of reasons to lose self worth. Whatever you do, someone else has done it better. Does every gay man who moves to SF join the party? No. It doesn’t always get better. All groups exclude, even the really inclusive ones. Create unrealistic expectations, and you will inevitably deliver hurt.

I’d rather see something that said it CAN get better, and also warned that it can get worse…much worse; but gave some support and advice to those who are unable to escape.

The second half just got creepier and scarier though. All the forceful “It gets better” chanting sounded like a brainwashing cult. Less fast cutting and glib tag lines and more life experience interviews would be far more effective.

Here it is from Savage’s column:

“My heart breaks for the pain and torment you went through, Billy Lucas,” a reader wrote after I posted about Billy Lucas to my blog. “I wish I could have told you that things get better.”

I had the same reaction: I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.

But gay adults aren’t allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don’t bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.

Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don’t have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.

So here’s what you can do, GBVWS: Make a video. Tell them it gets better.

#comment-900210 "Undecided" = LOL “Undecided” = LOL