Pennsylvania judge arrested for handing out acorns filled with condoms


35 Responses to “Pennsylvania judge arrested for handing out acorns filled with condoms”

  1. lyd says:

    I don’t understand the joke but, more importantly, I don’t understand the infraction. How is this possibly “disorderly conduct”?

  2. Brainspore says:

    Is this some kind of bizarre commentary about that ACORN/prostitution scandal a couple of years ago? Conservative humor often escapes me.

  3. deanaoxo says:

    No baby nuts.

  4. RedSun says:

    I went through there last winter for writing research. He was probably bored. Once you get off the Hershey highway (yes, it exists) you’d probably be anxious to bust a nut, too. To get at its center, at least. ;)

  5. Eric Ragle says:

    How on Earth could/should you be arrested for that?!?!

  6. Dan says:

    Why would anyone need to hide a condom in an acorn? Is there a religious angle to this story?

  7. james says:

    The main reason this is a big deal is that central PA in general, and Lancaster county especially,is an extremely conservative area. Pennsylvania may technically be a “blue state”, but that’s only because of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. The rest of the state is as red as any state in the deep south. Trust me on this, I live in Leola, a tiny town near Lancaster. Then there is the fact that he is a member of one of the more prominent families in the Intercourse area. The fallout from this seemingly harmless prank may last for quite a long time.

  8. Mitch says:

    1. Where does a judge find time to do this? Aren’t they supposed to be busy?

    2. What is funny about it?

    3. Why would someone be offended by a condom?

  9. knoxblox says:

    My only hope is that they weren’t used.

  10. cjp says:

    I think I get the joke now. One of the comments from hassenpfeffer’s link up there says the condoms weren’t full-sized ones. Sounds like they were the tiny condoms you get for covering a finger. Then it all becomes a squirrel dick joke. Especially with the two acorns. (Cue the squirrel masturbation scientist)

  11. ZippySpincycle says:

    Wow…so James O’Keefe is reinventing himself as a performance artist now?

  12. iomatic says:

    Allow me to summarize:

    F’n nuts!

  13. Anonymous says:

    Why is it illegal to hand out condoms – in acorns or not?

  14. SamSam says:

    Note that this was in the village of Intercourse… Was the joke on the name the only reason for this? Or something about Amish not using condoms? The article didn’t mention any safe-sex-related legislation or anything like that.

  15. hassenpfeffer says:

    Some reasonably local color commentary:

  16. Anonymous says:

    did any geocachers just get a sweet idea?

  17. redesigned says:

    “An individual was handing out acorns to some women who were offended when they discovered the contents in the acorn included a condom,”

    What other contents were included in the nuts?

    How could this be a crime?
    Because two women were offended by the existence of condoms?

    I get the feeling we don’t have the whole story…

  18. adwkiwi says:


    Intercourse is a popular destination for tourists because of its location in Pennsylvania’s Amish country.

    I’m willing to bet this isn’t the main reason :v

  19. hassenpfeffer says:

    Intercourse, Bird-in-Hand, and Paradise are all located in Lancaster County, the heart of Pennsylvania Amish country. Gave us endless giggle-fits as kids when we’d drive to nearby Hershey.

  20. hassenpfeffer says:

    Also, you will never find a finer piece of shoo-fly pie than you will in Lancaster County.

  21. Anonymous says:

    sex with no condom = bad.
    giving out free condoms = bad, too.
    Right on, America!

  22. artaxerxes says:

    I don’t think I’ll ever understand why he faces the charges he does as a result of handing out Right Wing Fundie-sized condoms in acorns.

    But, @ James #29, since you are familiar with the area, the judge and the prominent family, would you be able to shed any light on what the joke is? I’m not getting it at all. I admit I’m not a big prankster and pranks often befuddle my powers of understanding, but I just don’t get it. If not James, anyone?

    Back to the charges… He was handing these things out to everyone right? Then 2 women got offended (*rolls eyes*) and decided to complain to the police department. Then the police somehow took this seriously enough to arrest Judge Stoltzfus for “Disorderly Conduct.”

    Confused dog look: head tilted to side, one ear up. I do not understand. At all. If he had been handing out balloons or Cracker Jack, would his actions have been considered legal? Is he trying to impose his pro-squirrel contraception policies on the people of Intercourse? Or are the condoms, indeed, specially sized for the lesser endowed of Intercourse?

  23. Gyrofrog says:

    This might ruin Totoro for me.

  24. lecti says:

    I don’t get it. I never understood people in PA. What is the joke?

  25. Jake0748 says:

    “two women complained that he had handed him acorns that had been stuffed with condoms”

    Ummm… huh?

    • benher says:

      “…he had handed him acorns…”

      Don’t worry, I blinked too. This isn’t a misprint, however. The word “Pennsylvania” is the culprit – and once replaced with “Florida,” the article should read properly.

  26. kuskus says:

    My family used to drive to Florida from the Midwest once a summer for vacation. As an 8 year old, I specifically remember novelties in a glass case at eye level inside the “TENNESSEE-ALABAMA FIREWORKS” store that were hollowed-out walnuts with folded condoms inside. In case you were unaware of their contents, a tiny white sign read “CONDOM IN NUT”.

    That said, while it’s funny to imagine this man diligently hollowing out acorns and stuffing prophylactics in them in anticipation of gifting them, I’m sure he just purchased a box or something.

  27. Anonymous says:

    He shoulda’ said it was political expression… while satire is covered by the first amendment, I’m not sure that run-of-the-mill jokes are given as much protection…

  28. Anonymous says:

    fired for what?? acorns are legal..condoms are things away is legal. if you don’t want some free stuff, then don’t accept it..or toss it. where’s the harm here?

  29. Anonymous says:

    If this guy can get arrested for doing this, you would think Andrew Shirvell would at least get fired.

  30. Church says:

    There’s a Tanuki joke here, somewhere.

  31. dnafrequency says:

    How do you get a condom in an acorn?

  32. Elece says:

    Condoms were used?

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